YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?
WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!
- jade-jewel
you dumb bitch
Published by Bobby Henderson February 20th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 472 Comments
472 Responses to “you dumb bitch”
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calm down dear.
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Taken from Dictionary.com
sat·ire [sat-ahyuhr]
–noun 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
——————————————————————————–
[Origin: 1500–10;
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Magnificent! Takes the whole hate-mail concept to an entirely new level. I’m sure Jesus would be proud of you.
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Mark 12:31.
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You’re in my prayers.
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Well, I may disagree with his opinion, but I have to give him something: he’s clearly a balanced person.
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I would love to see you get a beat down and laugh while saying wheres you god now?
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Lol go die then ask where god is
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone *quite* this angry with us!
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Don’t you all love how religous people preach peace, yet you get this?
“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!” If your god is so powerful, why doesn’t he just stop the hunger now?
“Like cause you have fine art taco photography” You evidentally don’t know fine art when you see it.
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?” Like the crusades or christian based charities?
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“I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC”
Like an invisible deity who is able to do anything in the world (except create a stone so heavy he can’t lift it) who so loves everyone that he sacrifices his own son and then, despite this tremendous love, sends them to hell if they a) refuse to believe in him or b) thank him profusely for giving up his son.
*that*s realistic right there. I could *totally* buy that.
“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!!”
As a diabetic, this would be compromising to my health and could be considered a very serious threat to my life. Are you sure you don’t want to apologize for that? I’m sure there are many statutes that cover physical threats….
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Umm…I have a question. What?
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Don’t you all love how religion preaches peace, but you get this?
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!” If your god can make it rain bread and quail and split waters, couldn’t he just stop the hunger?
“Like cause you have fine art taco photography” You evidentally don’t know fine art
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?” Like the crusades or christian based charities??
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“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
No, of course not; you’re going to hell for sinning against your beliefs. What ever happened to “Love thy fellow man”?
Go read the Bible for once. I’ll bet I’ve read more of it than you have.
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How un-godly is the tone of your diatribe, how gramatically incorrect, how mean-spirited! Would your Jesus have rebuked an unbeliever in this disgusting fashion? If you want to disagree with us, please do so in a civilized manner; then perhaps someone other than only one person (me) will even think it worthwhile to respond to your nastiness.
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Last time I checked, your god isn’t very realistic either. Since when does realistic mean incarnates himself in a virgin then dies and reanimates 3 days later? Also, you seem like a very violent person, and you help the world out in a negative way with all of your rage against satirical fun. I’m sure if your god does exist, hes angrier with you than he is with us. cheers!
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jade-jewel,
I am going to assume that you are a Christian because of the frequency of you use the name of God and Jesus. Since I have a degree in religious studies I can assure you that Pastafarianism has fewer holes in its gospel and beliefs than the entire Judea-Christian belief system. If you have so much faith in Jesus perhaps you should read some of the gospels that did not make it into the bible. As far as scholars can tell, they were written at the time of Jesus, but they were not included in canonized scripture because they raised to many questions about who Jesus really was. Read the Infancy Gospel of Thomas and tell me you still think that your God is any better than ours. Or perhaps you should actually read your bible all the way through because if you knew anything about your own religion you would know that your language is enough to send you to your hell. don’t be a hypocrite.
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I think what bothers me most about the “Christians” who comment here is how completely offensive some of them are.
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@jade-jewel
“What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy?”
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The disciples of the FSM are a group of Pastafarians and regulars to the online CoFSM. They were devout, evangelical believers before moderation was instated. Why? It’s an invitation-only group. You are most definately not invited.
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I don’t think Jesus ever said, “SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”, but he did say, “Love thy neighbor.” I guess you could take them to mean the same thing. It’s all how you interpret it.
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FSM bless you and your BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK.
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-OEJ
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you are such a fucking idiot.
do you know what a parody is? look up that word, dumbass….
This is a PARODY religion, made because they were going to teach other ideas of ‘intelligent design’ in school besides evolution eg. adam and eve came down and started everything…
SO, if they are going to teach that acoording to faith, then why cant they teach OUR faith in a ‘flying spaghetti monster’.
No-one (except for a scientologist) is stupid enough to actually believe in this shit.
i cannot believe ANYONE (you) would actually think that… you really are a stupid fucker.
so you should go suck your own big black presidential cock.
-m
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LOL – Oh dear me. Are we really expected to take this seriously? He is asking us if WE are force fed? What a monumental piece of rubbish!
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ssst.
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In the words of Ron White, “The next time you have a thought… just let it go.”
You posted this before you talked to me, and that was your mistake. You really think trolling these boards and stirring up this kind of poor excuse for writing is going to change anyone’s mind about anything? Well it won’t. The best you can hope for is for people to just ignore you and move on. What is more likely is that you will show the ignorance you are so afraid the world will know about.
How do I know you are afraid of that, you ask? Simple, you feel the need to speak out in the most threatening way possible to people who do not wish you harm in any way, shape or form. These people don’t want to convert you to Pastafarianism. They don’t want you. They want intelligent people to see the information and letter to the Kansas State School Board and be entertained by it, as well as make the intelligent people among those arguing for Intelligent Design to take a step back and look at their argument to see how faulty it is.
Let me ask you something, since it is my belief you are talked down to and thus spend little time thinking of the basis of your argument. How many times, in recent history, has God reached down and saved anyone in the spectacular way you are describing (the way you specify that the Flying Spaghetti Monster won’t)? The fact is that if there is a God out there that he has decided that we should have the will to do whatever we want without glorious reprisals from the Angelic Host or him. If he exists, as you say, than he uses each and everyone of us as a barometer of how evil or good each other are. He will not prevent it. If your criteria is that the deity you believe in is real only if he were to stop humiliating torture being done to us, then your God doesn’t exist either. If someone were to worship the Police, not as a particular city’s bureau but as a whole or ideal, they are much more likely to be saved from such a sadistic person than you or the Pastafarians are.
Think about that when next you think that Science and Faith are exactly the same thing. It is for each of us to decide for ourselves what we believe is the reasoning for all the things that happen. Science merely tells us how they happen. Even when science says “This is why this happens,” it is only a how. We don’t know why the world has these particular rules, science merely tells us what the rules are. Faith, belief… that tells us why.
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Oh, the irony…
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“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!”
So, is this guy implying Jesus talks to him? Or that spaghetti is less realistic than an invisible all knowing being?
I can only hope he will someday be touched by its noodly appendage.
Oh, and please do not mock the garlic bread.
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What a shinning example of a Christian that you put forth there friend. Oh and if you would actually read the info on this page maybe you would realize that this is a SATIRE. It’s all in good fun sir. But seriously its people like you that make me lose faith in intelligent humanity. Have a nice day sir and may you be touched by the FSM’s noodley appendage.
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Our religion is infilitely more realistic than yours. We have evidence supporting our beleifs. Just look at the pirate numbers vs. global temperature graph. Does the bible have graphs? I think not! Our beleifs aren’t self-contradictory either.
I don’t think grave-pissing is respectable behaviour for a christian. There must be some supposed afterlife-penalty for that.
It’s curious that the vast majority of hatemail sent to this site comes from christians. Issues?
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Wow. Jesus talks to you? (but you think WE’RE on drugs..)
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Where would we even start to reply to this?
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“YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster”
I didn’t get passed that. First. How do you know?
Second. I just didn’t feel this post was worth my time. Starting off with insults is pretty pointless and lessens your credibility. I came here to just check on CoFSM and sure enough I see this garbage. Is this how your false “god” would want you to speak? If so then I would take the Flying Spaghetti Monster over your “god” any day, however I prefer Google myself. Well take it easy “jade-jewel” you douche.
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Wow, you sure told us..
*Hangs head in shame*
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even if you hate him FSM still loves you. Besides is your god better, whats he made of? Energy? FSM created you and you created your god.
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Why thank you. Thank you very much :)
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I always wanted to break this one out:
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JINGLES’ PATENTED F***WIT FINDER
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(1) Poster’s Name: jade-jewel is teh ghey.
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(4) Bad Grammar: you dumb biatch, you probably repeated what you were most frequently called before you dropped out of school. This hate-mail was chock full of run-ons, incomplete sentences, and misplaced (or altogether missing) apostrophes. And I guess you were skipping school the day they taught helping verbs. I am surprised you were even able to find your way onto the internet. It must be free in the prison library. I don’t give your mail full marks for bad grammar, because some others have been worse.
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(4) Bad Spelling: the word “spaghetti” is repeated how many times on this site, and you still spew out “SPEGHETTI?” You can’t be taught.
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(2) Overuse of Caps lock: Yeah, we get the point, you are mad.
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(1) Threats of burning in hell, divine vengeance, etc.: Your threats are weak, go back to your bible. Oh wait, you aren’t quoting it, because you probably can’t read the big words.
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(3) Threats of physical violence, rape, etc: What, I don’t rate an oar? I want an oar.
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(2) Threats of violence against the FSM: You’re going to chop Him up? Ooooh, He is scared.
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(2) Lowbrow insults: nothing especially creative here.
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(0) Accusations of homosexuality: conspicuosly missing.
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(1) Spamming: This would probably be more applicable in a thread. I give it one point, because I don’t think you’ll be back to participate in a discussion. You just left your little hate message and went back to your cell.
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(2) Dismissing CoFSM as a joke or at extremes, a cult: Yeah, you mentioned cult, but it was half-hearted.
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(0) Seriously referencing AiG (or similar) material: Nope, not a mention. How disappointing.
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And we come up with on Jingles’ scale…
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22
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20-24.5: Arsehole From the beginning, this guy is irritating. Thankfully, he just doesn’t have much skill at it. Obviously suffering under the weight of some sort of mental baggage, be it oedipal issues, repressed memories of the bad things the priest did, or just frustrated from being unable to tie his own shoelaces at the age of twenty, he sees flaming as a legitimate excuse to vent the rage. As tedious as his posts may be, just be glad he isn’t out on the streets instead.
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Sounds like a fake hate mail to me. No one could be that stupid.
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“IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC”
speaking from experience?
This guy seems to know a lot about drugs, sorta says something about his religion.
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The force-feed line really made me laugh. Oh delicious irony.
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wow that was a mouth full.
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Christianity at its finest!
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“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” ”
Am I the only one who sees the irony in this? I would love to do the same to yourself and hear your useless cries to your false god, and yet I will ask the same questions of yourself. “Where is your fucking douche bag god now? Is he going to save you? No… because he is not real. I used to be a so called christian like yourself (and yes i hate to admit this) but i realized my folly before any more effort wasted. Then i seen the light that was FSM. May we all be in his noodly grace.
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I think if there was any doubt that the Flying Spaghetti Monster existed before this, it’s obvious that he’s real now, and testing us through the poor grammar and hate-speech (also poor) above. I hope that one day the great FSM will reward those who see his message in the midst of this… message. FSM be with you, Jade-Jewel, and you are quite blessed to have the FSM himself speak through you.
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…Yes, we’re the ones on drugs.
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Wow!!!
Such profanity. I am sorry you feel you must curse so much to get your point across, which unfortunately you have a very difficult time doing.
You sound more like a raging teenager then a rational person attemption to get a valid point across.
I am sure Jesus would be proud of you. I am sure the Pope would say, “He’s not with us” Actually most religions would be embarrased to associate with you.
No worries, Jesus and FSM will forgive you.
MHNATY
(R)amen
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So… Jesus talks to you? Well the FSM talks to me every night, I swear. I feel his noodly presence all over the place when I eat pastas. Aren’t pastas enough real for you?
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So the flying spaghetti monster isn’t real? IT ISN’T???? Why are you so convinced at that?
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In the first place you never saw him. But I never saw Jesus or God on my side. Maybe you will argue that God existed forever. But I can prove to you that the FSM is eternal. It’s written in the Gospel! And as we all know, a book MUST contain the thruth. At my advantage, I will only remind that mind has no chance of being the avalanche effect of a sect born some thousand years ago.
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Don’t worry, we go in hell… BECAUSE IT DOESN’T EXIST, IT’S BULLSHIT!!!
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For the end of my message I intend to be more decent than you, as long as you made the final touch on you lack of credibility…
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Peace and pastas, Benji
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I have no words.
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Hmmmm a response from an intellectual, sarcasm fan?
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I find it very difficult to believe that you are in fact some sort of christian when all you want to do is cause violence in his name. Wait…
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Seriously…. I DARE you to make less sense!
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You’re ignorant
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