YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?
WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!
- jade-jewel
you dumb bitch
Published by Bobby Henderson February 20th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 472 Comments
472 Responses to “you dumb bitch”
Erm. . .
You kinda went from mad to batshit fucking crazy.
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Force feeding us spaghetti, forcing us into fellatio and pissing on our graves? That’s not just extreme, it’s take quite a disturbed mind to come up with that stuff. I think someone has been spending a bit too much time with the Bible
Also I think he’d have found the disciples of his great noodliness were Pirates, (Yahr!!) had he taken a little time to read up on us.
May his noodly appendage touch the poor soul who sent this
RAmen
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Hmm, well said! Articulate, to the point, loaded with rational arguments, I do believe I see the light, hallelujah brother! You don’t by any chance live in Florida do you? Were you the one that moved to add the word “Theory” to the teaching of evolution in their schools? I’m sure it was you, your homiletic signature is evident in this discourse.
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Like, this guy must like make his like second grade english teacher like so proud….
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Dear Prophet Bobby,
.
This is so bad that it does not deserve a response. I know your policy is to post hate mail, but this one is really beyond belief. Thoughtful hate mail, a la Rachel, is at least worth reading, but this one is not worth the time. It makes no point, no argument against the FSM or our church.
.
I suppose you did not want hurt jade-jewel’s tender feelings by not posting it, but still…
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Lemme guess, you must be a good christian.
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I would like to ask FSM the almighty, why has this even been posted? Its so bad its not even ridiculous, just plain depressing.
Thank you,
CC, a new convert
Ramen to all
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LET JESUS FUCK YOU LET HIM FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Such angry and juvenile remarks could only be spoken by inbreed, cousin marrying, de-evolved troglodytes such as yourself jade-jewel. You certainly talk large for someone with an obvious phallic deficiency. Someday when you are filling your three headed offspring with this kind of loathing and intolerance, may you realize just how ignorant you truly are, and feel the touch of His Noodley Appendage. In the mean time it would behoove you to think before you speak (or type as the case may be) so as not to convince all those around you of just how mind numbingly dull and asinine you must be. For the sake of your cousin and the world in general I hope you are sterile or at least have an emasculating experience involving some kind of heavy machinery. I realize most of this is over your head so I’ll stop now before I use any more words you have yet to learn on you twelve year stint in kindergarten. RAmen.
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Wow, what I don’t understand is this. People come and preach that they aren’t going to go to hell because they don’t worship ‘false’ idols…. They may not go to hell for that reason, but they sure will go to hell for being a fuck-tard…
Whomever our creator may be (I vote for his Great Noodly One) gave us freedom of choice…
Don’t be a hater because our god is cooler than yours bitches!
ALL PRAISE THE NOODLY!
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what is with all the profanity and hostility? you need a xanax or something!
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“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! ”
Perhaps not, but you’re definitely going to Hell for blaspheming.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.
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First, read the entire website, then seek counseling, my profane friend. The cult of the FSM is a spoof reaction to the efforts of right wing religious zealots to have Creationism or Intelligent Design taught in public schools under the guide of “science.” Neither Creationism nor Intelligent Design can be considered science by rational beings and therefore should not be taught in schools as such. Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster believe that our theory makes just as much sense and if a public school teaches Creationism or Intelligent Design they should teach that the world was created by the FSM with his noodly appendage. That’s all. Your reaction is violent, irrational, and distinctly un-Christian. I know many Christians and they are secure enough in their faith to not be offended by us. In fact, the Christians I know are offened by those who want Creationism and Intelligent Design to be taught in schools as science. I don’t understand how you can be so angry … after all, it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster who gave you life in the first place with his noodly appendage. You should love and revere him as we, his followers, do. Arrgghh!
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“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”
I’ll take that bet, how much?
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This is most definitly fake. I really hope it is because if it is real, than my already low opinion of our society just dropped serveral points.
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I do believe jade-jewel has LOTS of issues/problems……and I think religion is the least of them.
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Wow. Out of 5 billion sperm, you were the one that made it, huh?
Eerie.
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Wow. And they say cults are dangerous?
Jade-Jewel. (Yes, I respect you enough to capitalize your name for you). I suggest a set of psychotherepy. Your obvious bipolar disorder is getting in the way of normal human relations.
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I like your Christ.
I do not like your Christians.
They are so unlike your Christ.
– Mahatma Gandhi
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How dare you insult my father !
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divine flying spaghetti monster,
have mercy on jade’s soul !
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I hope you feel better about yourself now.
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Wow. Your intelligence is amazing. I feel like we should put you in a jar and study you using the scientific method or something. I can tell that you must be right by the sheer number of monosyllablic slanderous words that you scream at people. Obviously this truth that you possess must bring a level of peace and clarity to the world that us pastafarians do not understand.
Thats okay… remember that the FSM loves you.
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This is stupid. Moving on.
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Somebody needs a hug! Or perhaps heavy medication.
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jade-jewel:
.
Even the early Christians were ridiculed and persecuted by the Romans, among others. The Hovering Macaroni Miscreant, who is the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s “right hand noodle”. You see, the Hovering Macaroni Miscreant intentionally puts misleading religious rhetoric into human society to see which people can see through the lies to get to the truth of the glorious Flying Spaghetti Monster. I see that you have bought into the HMM’s “God” and “Jesus Christ” delusions wholeheartedly, which is very sad. The FSM wants you to be in heaven with him when you die, enjoying the fruits of the Beer Volcano and the Stripper Factory.
.
Pastafarians see the truth, taste the truth, and know the truth.
.
R’Amen!
.
- Cap’nUberbob
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HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Glad I’m not part of his religion. Who the hell wants to hang out for eternity with a deluded idiot. Better yet… WWJD?…LOL LOL LOL! I really doubt he’d tell somebody to suck their balls! The FSM however…he does tend to get drunk a lot…
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Virulent!!
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I am too disgusted with you for words.
One thing I chose to pick up on was where you said you’d tie us all down and force feed us spaghetti and the FSM wouldn’t save us…
I absolutely 100% guarantee that Jesus wouldn’t save you if I did the same to you.
Please don’t be so agressive- I’m sure both religions could be friends.
Ramen.
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I think you might be on to something with this garlic toast disciple. I thank you for furthering my belief on the flying spagetthi monster with this new idea. RAmen!
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eating spaghetti is a form of worship. i hope you do send some to africa. and not all spaghetti can talk, just the single God FSM. The disciple.prophet is henderob (as far as i know) Also, its going to be hard for you to piss on millions of graves, but maybe if you’re really dedicated you might. You don’t need to tie me up and force feed me spaghetti, I do so willingly. The only real idol is the FSM, therefore no hell for me. i have never had anything shoved down my throat. and i was unaware Mr. Bush had a: “BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK!!” and what doesnt look like a spaghetti monster?
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you suck dick you fat whore.
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Now that’s what I’m talking about! We haven’t gotten mail that entertaining for some time, and I for one feel refreshed.
One thing that strikes me about this one is that “jade-jewel” seems to think that her very own Jesus Christ believes in the FSM, as evidenced here: “JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”. It appears that jade-jewel might possibly be trying to bridge the gap between the outdated Christianity and the newer, hipper FSM Church.
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Wow. I can almost feel the christian love and compassion coming from this guy. BTW, you will go to hell for denying the FSM.
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you said so yourself, its all a joke. so lighten up. the internet is full of all sorts of stuff, much worse than this. just laugh, or die of a stroke at an early youthful age.
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I love it how people swear and curse on the Internet. Just because you cant actually see them, they think they can act like a total jackass.
hooray for Technology
Found this site quite a few years ago, I do not believe in God (or a flying spaghetti monster) but I always get a laugh from it. Not sure if you people actually do believe it or not, or if its just a joke, but good work, and keep it up! Laughter is the most important thing in life
-Will
Member of the “Save the Classic Liners” team
Protect the SS United States, America’s greatest Maritime Acheivment
Find out how at
http://www.ssmaritime.com/SS-United-States.htm
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I am one hundred per cent certain this guy is NOT related to Barach Obama.
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Post again and I will personally shove crucifixes up your mouth and say “HAH! where’s your god now, huh?!”
Besides, how about religion in our classes? Isn’t that shoving something down peoples throat?
Oh, and when you don’t want to believe that bullshit, YOU GET CALLED INSENSITIVE! I’m sorry I crushed your fantasy and gave you a life! Please call me insensitive!
To us the FSM isn’t Jesus either. Because Jesus looks more like a fucking hippy.
Just to let you know… this site is pure sarcasm… you know, sarcasm, that thing we mock idiots like you with, especially when you can’t notice the obvious sarcasm.
Who’s the dumb bitch now, huh, dumb bitch?
Oh, I’ve been wondering one thing now by the way: Why are you guys against gay people, yet you worship a giant crotch?
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Sorry for my last comment, got a bit agressive because of this guy calling us dumb bitches without even spelling right. Sorry to all Christian people as well. I just needed to get it all out. Truly sorry for all the good guys out there.
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Jade-Jewel you just showed everyone that you do not know how to read. You never heard of satire. You must be trash from the way you type. You are a sad excuse for a human. Click about and read what it says and why it came about. It about not teaching Intelligent Design in science class. You are proof there is no such thing as Intelligent Design.
.
I hope your not old enough to vote. It is scary that morons like you are allowed in the voting booth. Go back to your minimum wage job because you obviously are not smart enough to do anything else.
.
RAmen!
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This hate-mail doesn’t even deserve a response.
.
Typically, I haven’t got the time to respond to someone with such an obvious lack of intelligence, but I’ll humor ‘Jade-Jewel’ (who obviously has never had humor in his life).
.
So, Jade…or whatever your real name is…why is it you feel the need to come here and say such things? And how dare you say our FSM is ridiculous, and not realistic. Last time I checked, RELIGION NEVER HAD TO BE REALISITIC, YOU JUST NEED PEOPLE TO BELIEVE IN IT. I certainly believe those Christians, who’s Jesus can walk on water, and was his own Father, and who also came back from the grave.
.
Also, yes, you should serve up Spaghetti to starving people in Africa. We would all like that. The FSM is always willing to help out. Alongside that, you don’t need to ‘force-feed’ us spaghetti. We love to eat it. It’s an honor to eat spaghetti (makes me feel closer to the Noodly Savior).
.
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
.
How ironic that is is beyond me. Nobody EVER shoves FSm down another’s throat. That’s one of the things most of us here HATE. Typically, it’s those hardcore Fundamentalists who do that to fun-loving people like us.
.
Basically, ‘Jade-Jewel’, you are an idiot.
.
Have a nice day.
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Wow, did someone really spend the time to write this diatribe? Maybe this person should go back to grammar school and learn how to write.
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“I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Yes – pretty much the point…
“im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! ”
Perhaps you’ll go to hell for ‘Taking the Lord’s name in vain’ then?
Wait – You’re a heavily indoctrinated person named Jade-Jewel and you have a big black cock? I’m starting to see the source of your anger problems…
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“YOU DUMB BITCH!!!”
I bet you’re a Christian, dumb bitch?
.
“ this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god !”
Then what is god, dumb bitch?
.
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
That’s very nice of you. You’re clearly a compassionate dumb bitch.
.
“you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell!”
So you are a Christian! I wonder what gave it away, dumb bitch?
.
“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Oh sorry, you’re quite right. He’s a sadist with a beard in a bath rode how silly of us, that’s why more realistic dumb bitch.
.
“ IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!”
So you’re saying Jesus does talk to you dumb bitch? You should tell your doctor about that.
.
“ Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.”
Why would I want to share my valuable stash with a dumb bitch like you? I don’t even think you could handle it, what with being a dumb bitch an’ all.
.
“ Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something??”
Are you that stupid you can’t read an ‘About’ page when it’s clearly at the top of the site? What a dumb bitch! Seriously, how dumb must this bitch be to not even know what they are writing a page of drivel about? Did this bitch get up this morning and think’ how can I make my self look dumb today? I know…”
.
“ What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball?”
So you didn’t even read the title at the top of the page? Wow you are dumb… Bitch.
.
“ LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!!”
Oh and we’re the sick ones? All comes out now doesn’t it? Little creep likes to piss on graves.
.
“ BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!!”
No this is a joke:
Two fish in a tank.
One says to the other,
‘You know how to drive this thing?’
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“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!!”
And how do you intend to do that? Or should I ask; you and who’s army, dumb bitch?
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“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now?”
And will all your imaginary friends congratulate you and tell you how cool you are? Please! If you met me in real life and I told you I posted here you’d shut you bitch mouth. I’ve seen your kind before, all mouth and no trousers. You can’t even come up with intelligent insults; you just expose your self for the dumb little bitch you are.
.
“Is he gonna save you?”
I’d be more concerned about who’s going to save you. Your clearly need some sort of help, dumb bitch.
.
“ NOO!”
Are you some kind of dumb bitch cow, to stupid to say MOO correctly? Or just to stupid to use the spell checker on your PC? (By the way, in case you weren’t sure, a PC is the thing you’re thumping away on wile dribbling).
.
“Cause hes NOT REAL!”
Oh well done! No really, did you come to that conclusion by your self, dumb bitch? Or did you get help from your therapist?
.
“Do you guys like revolve around food or something?”
What are you talking about dumb bitch?
.
“Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!?”
Like, you can, like, look at the taco’s but you can’t, like, click on the about tab? Those would be a link to someone else site dumb bitch.
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“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion???”
Once again, if you weren’t such a dumb bitch you’d know that. It’s not a secret stupid.
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“Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”
Ha ha, fantasying about what it would be like to be on drugs dumb bitch? If you had some ball you could try some?
.
“Cause this is some trippy shit!”
How would you know, I bet you’ve never even had alcohol have you? I’ll even go as far as to say your one of those kids the cool kids give alcohol free beer too and then laugh as you make an arse of yourself pretending to be drunk, dumb bitch.
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“ AND yes i do believe in hell!”
Well I gathered that. Anyone as stupid and hateful as you has to be a dumb bitch believer . Probably a closet case too.
.
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
No just for regular Idol worship, dumb bitch. I take it you know something about religion? Or are you just some dumb bitch wanking off because you get turned on by using rude words now that your stuffed toy collection has stopped talking to you?
.
“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
I still can’t belive you belive in Hell, a place on one has seen or been too, dumb bitch.
.
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
No, that’s for lesser religions like yours, ones that appeal to dumb bitches.
.
”WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt!”
What doesn’t? Be more specific dumb bitch. What’s a spaghetti monster suppose to look like?
.
“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
I knew it! I knew you were a closet case! Poor little sexual repressed dumb bitch.
Maybe if you weren’t such a cunt someone would want to be your friend, then maybe they’d pity you enough to suck your undersized cock for you.
.
“- jade-jewel”
Well thanks for coming and making yourself look like a dumb bitch.
It’s always a pleasure to ridicule a sexually repressed, hate filled idiot.
So long dumb bitch!
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Oh wow, I am in awe.
How can you keep that much rage going for that long. I’m assuming, from the spelling, grammar and low brow profanity, that jade has a rather low IQ and cannot type that well. So, in order to bang out this chaming piece of invective he/she/it must have been tapping away one fingeredly for quite some time. It is very difficult to stay that angry for that long, I know, I tried, couldn’t do it.
There’s so much wrong with this one I don’t know where to start on this one, and I’m so blown away, so I’m going to let others pull it apart…
… wow, I’m seriously impressed… that’s a lot of anger…. I’d seek counselling if that was me….
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This angry man could really use some Marinara sauce and meatball love! Calm down my young brother. We Pastafarians don’t knock your beliefs of men who can turn water to wine, walk on water, heal the sick and allow you passage to an unproven immortality. So please don’t knock our beliefs that we were touched by his tasty carbohydrates!
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…..Whoa. Someone needs to take his/her pills today.
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You people make me laugh. In making a point that there is no evidence to prove the FSM exists would be the same as me saying this.. “ther is no God U dum bitches u can’t prove he exists”. You can’t bash on a belief system that has the same flaws as your own religion. It’s called hypocracy. I know, a big word… look it up.
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what?
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Jade-jewel your an idiot. I’m not going to waste my time saying anything more about you.
RAmen
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