YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?
WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!
- jade-jewel
you dumb bitch
Published by Bobby Henderson February 20th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 472 Comments
472 Responses to “you dumb bitch”
“You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.”
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Judging from your insane ramblings, I’d say you’ve had quite enough already.
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Wow.
I am honestly done for this evening. I don’t think that it is possible to find much more in the way of idiotic statements online tonight (I’ll probably see something 10 mins from now that takes the cake then).
RAmen.
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Yo Barack wassup?! ;-)
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This one seems to be just vying for a top score on the Fuck Wit meter.
….either that or an extremely painful case of HDD! (Humour Deficit Disorder)
However it does seem have a hint of a genuine tone of desperate screaming delusional insanity to it though.
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jade-jewel really need to get the number of a good proctologist who specialises in head extractions.
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You have opened my eyes with your loving message of peace and tolerance. Praise be and pass the parmesan.
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Oh and….
“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
Would that be before or after those starving people had aquired AIDS as a direct result of fundi xtian missionaries preaching “Abstinence Only coz condoms don’t help prevent the spread of the HIV virus”?
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We all know where we are going when we die. However, if we are wrong, and your heaven turns out to be real and full of loving, forgiving souls like yours, Hell seems like the better option anyway.
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“this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god!”
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Says you! So prove it!
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I think you meant to place a comma between COCK and BITCH at the end there.
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are we really that scary that we can cause that kind of reaction?
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So… what? Born again?
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Yeah… gotta be. Next time try to spell Spaghetti right and click the about button before you go on a crusade. Alright? Thanks.
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Fake
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Are you a christian, nazi or both? Anyway; language, grammatic and expression are typical christian style. My advise to you is find a good hospital specialised for religious mental illnesses and eat a lot of spaghetti.
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until this guy can prove the inexistance of our lord with proof rather than dimwitted physical threats, im not changing my belief
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Chop me up for being… FIRST!
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This learned gentelman makes me glad the the Christians are the “tolerant, loving, non-judgmental, and forgiving” religion that they are…and the great sense of humor and ability to read beyond what others tell him is astounding…I am also in awe of his resounding logic as far as my belief in the FSM goes, he has made me question all my religious…NAY!!! All of my world views………….
righhhhttttttt
RAmen
BZwM
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Fellow pastafarians, let us pray to the FSM to grant this moron a brain. And a rudimentary spell-check program. Or, at the very least, to snap off all his fingers and so save the internet from his stupidity.
RAmen
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Welcome to the site.
Thanks for telling us about your religion, it certainly sounds interesting. I hope you can learn a little about ours.
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whatever
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Our deity totally looks like a spaghetti monster. D:
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Wow. You’ve really shown us the love, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness that you get from worshipping Jesus & God that I’ve heard so much about.
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You’ve finally convinced me jade-jewel (rather girly-sounding name for someone who claims to have a big black presidential cock). You’ve convinced me that I’ve travelled the wrong path thus far, and now I must make a change. I want to accept Jesus into my life as my saviour, and God as my creator. Now I know my calling in life. Now I must become a foul-mouthed, egotistical, abusive, agressive, violent, caps-lock obsessive wanker. For it obviously pleaseth the lord.
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On the other hand – nahh! I think I’ll stay here. The people here seem much less hateful.
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Dignity
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at least, a really entertaining post. Those moderate are not so funny. thanks jade! Pasta be with You!
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“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
yeah! that’s a good purpose; I’m sure He will understand. In the meanwhile, why don’t you use christian’s church money to feed them?
“you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell!”
Hell is not so bad, warm beer is better than no beer.
Why are you so angry? Of course, when the FSM touched everybody with His noodly appendages to give them the intteligence, He forget you. He was drunk, I hope you can forgive him
“IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!” Jesus talks to you?I’m sorry, but hearing voices in your head implies demency…
“I’m gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!!” We are ten million -hehe- that’s not possible at all
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“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” ”
Ok, were IS youR God when the christians dies in any war? Is he gonna save them? NOO! Because he IS not real! – well, I’m not denying here his existence, only your argument
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“AND yes i do believe in hell!” – me too, ecs, warm beer and VD
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
He’s not an idol, is a god. And no, He can forgive you for not believing in Him, the FSM is not so insecure, provided that you are a good guy. Although, by your hate I can’t imagine you as a good guy. Maybe is warm beer for you
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“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
It’s called irony. Why fundies doesn’t know about that?
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“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
That’s more information than I need from you. You think your maleness is menaced? Talk to a freudian psycologist.
–
May His noodly appendages touch you
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seriously people when you laugh you do not scream
also you seem to be rather vulgar I thought jesus did not like that
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Firstly:
“IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! ”
Then you are obviously not one of the blessed!!!
Secondly:
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!!”
Have you ever considered the fact that the joke may be on you?
Thirdly:
“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now?”
Duh!! Everywhere!!!
Fourthly:
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
No but…
“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
Using your lords name in vain may well get you there!!!
I pity you and hope you find peace in yourself soon. Have you ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist? You are obviously feeling a lot of anger. Either that or maybe you could turn to the FSM. The FSM can help you find the peace you seek!
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“THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Rationale only applies to our god…
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wow, some people really don’t get satire.
Still, it’s good to see he follows christ, i’m sure he says something similar :
“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!…i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves…SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
nice guy.
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Your powers of sweaing, grammar and spelling truly touch my heart, I shall follow god. I counted 20 swears.
HOLY SHIT!!!! Does ANYONE read the open letter anymore? IT’S A SATIRE!!!! You’d be very hard pressed to find anyone who really believes in the FSM. And then he says he Barack Obama, wow….
Apparently just the oddest people find our site ^_^And then they say they’re Christians. Apparently parody religions are one of their buttons.
LASTLY we aren’t a cult, we’re a full blown religion. We have millions of followers!
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couple of points @jade-jewel
“If he[FSM] were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
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so you don’t help poor people because our god doesn’t exist? Then you must agree with that the world is better with a flying spaghetti monster
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“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
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name one thing that is more realistic than pasta!
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“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”
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I take that bet, now give me my money(don’t bet on facts, it’s stupid)
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“That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
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then I assume you are one of the blessed few who actually seen his noodlyness, scince you have such knowledge of his appearence
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Suck your what?
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When did they let you out?
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And yet you still eat jesus in your communion.
But thank you for demonstrating the intolerance of Xianity once again.
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For a non believer you seem to have a lot of insecurities on the subject. You’re not Noah back for more are you? AAARRRRRR!
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Wow! I sure am glad your Jesus teaches you to be peaceful and loving.
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“You’re a true vulgarian, aren’t you?” — John Cleese
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Well, I certainly feel enlightened.
I couldn’t dream up a more convincing piece of evidence that there are serious problems with xianity. This sick individual will probably never check the responses to his/her twisted raving, because he/she is too busy pulling the wings off flies and terrorizing helpless children.
But just in case you do check back, could you please tell me where in the bible it tells you to scream and swear and insult your percieved enemies? I must have missed that part.
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Fuck man, calm the fuck down! I’m afraid I’m out of pot, or I would give you some. Shit. Lemme break it down for you:
First off, you would be hard up to find a pastafarian that does not enjoy fine pasta goods. You wouldn’t have to force feed us spaghetti, because most of us would eat it as soon as we saw it anyway.
It’s Spaghetti! Not SPEGHETTI. Monster, not Monsterrr. You have no idea how much you offend us by misspelling our deity’s name. What if I said “FUCK JEIZUS, JEESUS IS TOTALLY GAY!”?
Your god is not Jesus Christ by the way. God is your god. This “Jesus” is your messiah, if you’re going to insult us, make sure you at least no enough about your own religion
Christianity is the least unique religion of all. Your god is modeled after Zeus, your Halos are actually egyptian sun circles, your messiah is depicted in the same way as Buddha.
Does it matter what form your creator takes, as long as you agree that there is a creator? So what if we choose to believe he takes the form of Spaghetti? Any god that I would want to worship wouldn’t care what form we chose to believe he takes, just as long as I worship him.
What the FUCK is a Shrum? Where can I buy this…shrum?
You need to read more about our beliefs…there ya go…resemble anything?….maybe…EVERY OTHER RELIGION ON EARTH?
HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GREAT HENDEROB?
One last thing…you realize most of us don’t actually believe in the FSM don’t you? Actually, it’s more 50/50. (I’m pretty much split in the middle)
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lol angry Christians.
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The author of this rant is a perfect example of the validity of birth control.————–is are children lerning??????
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Birth control ????????? YES!!!!!!— is are childrin lernin?????????
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Such a compelling and well-reasoned argument. I am wavering in my noodly beliefs. :(
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I have edited your rant I thought you might want to look at it this way.
YOU DUMB BITCH!!! there is no such thing as a fucking Jesus and he’s not god ! If he were real I would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking the beer volcano! FUCKING SPAGETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY RELIGION DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT SPAGETTI! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this Jesus guy? A piece of bread and a fish? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick I wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “where’s your Jesus bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around myths or something? Who’s the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in the beer volcano! But im not gonna go to the beer volcano for believing in a false idol like you stupid believers! FSM I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT? Ramen!
green plate.
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I’m sorry you feel this way, but is it so hard to believe that something made out of Wheat (one of the necessities of life) is divine? I find it easier to believe than most of the Hindu gods. Also… the FSM doesn’t have disciples… only Jesus had those and we are not a copycat religion. You spelt shrooms wrong and I think that you need to re-evaluate your priorities before you do any of the stuff you mentioned.
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errrrrr no comment
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Speaks for itself really.
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well, that is a most convincing argument…
..but he does exist!
gold!
p.s. obey your noodly master!
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A noodly appendage is definitely not what this guy is touched by.
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“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!””
same could go for you….i could tie you down, and start shoving a bible down your throat….my guess is your god would not do anything because he is not real eitehr
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I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!”
i could do the same to you, and start shoving bibles down your throat and all that would happen would be you would choke to death on a big fictional novel. no “god” would save you
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“IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Even though the last line of the rant is a demographic-revealing standout of comic genius, I think this one is the author’s obliviously delivered pinnacle of irony. For real or not – I suspect not; too much thought gone into being as bad as possible, nearly competent sentences here and there – it’s a pretty good one.
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