you dumb bitch

YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?
WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!
- jade-jewel

472 Responses to “you dumb bitch”

Pages: « 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 [10] Show All

  1. 451 - James D King of Pirates - Apr 29th, 2008

    Your spaghetti does not talk to you? where are you getting it, mone has always had a lovely conversation with me before dinner, as well as any other pasta. It usually does not say much but i know the noodly one likes to listen more than speak, after all with all those noodly appendages he had very little room to put in vocal chord, but he listens.

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  2. 452 - Matt Peterson - Apr 29th, 2008

    Hey by the way Shrums would be spelled Shrooms, and maybe if you took a few you would have a decent sense of humor about this JOKE!!!
    Seriously I thought God would teach you to spell better, Are you that ignorant that you can’t even defend God without cursing or spelling words wrong, Stop taking life so serious and don’t sip to much of the Kool aid that they have at your Godly church!!
    Long live the FSM!!!

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  3. 453 - Jacq - Apr 29th, 2008

    I can’t believe these mails are real. Really?
    Jacqueline Sparrow

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  4. 454 - Sean - Apr 29th, 2008

    you wouldn’t spit in our direction.. but you’d take the time and money to travel around and piss on all our graves. Logical.

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  5. 455 - Lovett - Apr 30th, 2008

    Wow. That’s what I call overreacting.

    Lay off the pipe for a second and use that tiny little thing inside your head that we normal human beings call a brain.

    See if that statue of the dead guy on a piece of wood will give you the answer.

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  6. 456 - Lore - May 8th, 2008

    The belief in God was not the first religon, genius.

    And I love how you managed to stick ’staving children in Africa’ so smoothly into your arguement. Nice going.

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  7. 457 - Lish - May 19th, 2008

    I suppose we can tie you down too, and force feed you communion hosts and old wine till you puke, and then we can all scream at you, “WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, BITCH?” because he obviously will not come down in a streaming bolt of lightening to save you.

    Epic failure, “jade-jewel”, you ebonic-speaking moron.

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  8. 458 - the random frog - Jun 9th, 2008

    sounds like your describing christianity (or islam/ Judeism ect).

    ‘JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?’

    my views exactly

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  9. 459 - rogthedodge - Jun 27th, 2008

    What a cretinous oaf! Does he take hard drugs or drink household chemicals to get so angry?

    If this is an example of the christian way I give thanks for the day I found pastafarianism.

    Ramen

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  10. 460 - sophie - Jul 24th, 2008

    Lol, I actually found this one amusing. How many ways can a single person condemn themselves to hell while claiming that anyone on this site is condemned to hell? Well, for starters, you call us all a “dumb bitch.” Then you proceed to take the lord’s name in vain. Not very christian of you! But my FAVORITE part is when you basically inform everyone that you like/do drugs. Which is not very surprising as you seem to be so brainwashed by your religion! I will prove this to you with your own words if don’t believe me.

    1. “You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.” Now, I know Jesus was a hippie and all, but do you really think your god condones such reckless behavior??

    2. “IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!” So… Jesus talks to you, does he? What exactly does he say? Also, nowhere on this site does it say that we talk to FSM. You must be on some good drugs to think that Jesus actually converses with you.

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  11. 461 - Blessed One - Aug 13th, 2008

    My spaghetti does speak to me. I am a Blessed One.

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  12. 462 - Ntcommie - Sep 10th, 2008

    This guy kept off the crack just long enough to ask for more….

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  13. 463 - Levin8r - Oct 4th, 2008

    Well…

    Let us start from the beggining of this flawed argument…

    1. You ensure us that you are Christian and yet use your god’s name in vain
    2. Obviously “Sean” has a point about the whole grave pissing thing
    3. How can you be so blind as to not embrace His Noodly Goodness, when He loves you as he does all of his lil’ ravioli?
    4. CALM DOWN! By this point it is obvious that you have no brains, but if you are going to write hate mail, at least get off of your crack pipe first.
    5. …and you tried to tie starving children in Africa into this why? You obviously have no more compassion for fellow man than a particularly incompassionate pine cone.
    6. It’s rather pitiful that you would waste the last ten minutes of your life writing this rather than calling a thearapist frankly.
    7. Pasta is my Jesus

    -Ramen

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  14. 464 - Stormy McDanger - Nov 17th, 2008

    I love how this first starts off as just a rude comment against His Noodliness’ design, and then quickly deteriorated as the writer slowly but surely descended into madness. Glorious.

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  15. 465 - spaghetti lover - Nov 27th, 2008

    You say your spaghetti does not talk to you because it is not Jesus. So does Jesus talk to you?

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  16. 466 - Sqid - Dec 15th, 2008

    ““weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you?”
    Yes.

    And PLEASE CONTROL YOU’RE VERBAL TICS!
    If I see fuck one more time I’m gonna do something.
    NO, I’m writing this with my eyes closed.

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  17. 467 - MAN - Feb 4th, 2009

    I have a mental image of you as a fat guy.

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  18. 468 - Avery - Feb 20th, 2009

    do you have sifilis? because i see no other way how someone could be this… this… stupid

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  19. 469 - The Strainer - Apr 17th, 2009

    I’d bet a pot of spaghetti this one is fake. And yes, the spaghetti sauce has plenty of “shrums”.

    RAmen

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  20. 470 - JamesE - Apr 18th, 2009

    wow…so your bread and whine talks to you? And if we had tied you down and shoved bread down your throat, you wouldnt be saved by your ‘Jesus’ or his noodly goodness.

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  21. 471 - Garrick McElroy - Jun 22nd, 2009

    Speaking of the starving children in Africa, why does your God let them suffer? I would like to know as his cruelty ASTOUNDS me. Thanks!

    Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
    -GM
    RAmen

    If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net

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  22. 472 - Garrick McElroy - Jun 22nd, 2009

    I read through the whole thing. The end is just complete irony in it’s most basic form. *Pats on head* It’s okay if you don’t understand! I don’t understand how you slipped through the Natural Selection cracks!

    Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
    -GM
    RAmen

    If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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