YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?
WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!
- jade-jewel
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Misc.
Seriously, who the f*** raised you? This religion is more developed than you.
Impressive rhetoric. Jade-jewel should run for office or something…
WOW, THE ABOVE COMMENTS FROM jade-jewel A QUIET UPSETTING FOR SOME FSM MEMBERS, IN THE WORLD OF TOLERANCE WE MUST REMEMBEAR THAT THIS PERSON HAS THE INTERLECT OF A WALNUT.
ALL HALE FSM
She shall not enter the glorious noodly heaven for she had not been touched by his noodly appendage and when she does that she shall see the true power of his noodly power. and that he has bigger balls than her god ever could
I think this is probably fake.. surely no one is that much of a hypocritical dumbass… Are they?
Hail to His High Noodleness!!
I am a pastafarian from EONS (I was one of the first to read his Mighty Words) but, since I believe in the “keep thy religion to thyself” George Carlin’s Commandment, I never wrote here.
Thanks to all my fellow friends here to let me hope that there is still some intelligence in the world (and did not designed anything serious at all).
Andrea, from Italy.
The majority of responses above would seem to indicate that this (suspected) fellow named after a semi-precious green rock is pulling our collective legs (as opposed to weeing on our collective graves - I’m in Australia to make it even trickier for him/her/it - he/she/it’d better book a ticket in about 45- 50 years time - FSM grant me a long and happy pasta-filled life). I suspect however, that our enthusiastic contributor may, in fact, be ‘aving a go! (nod nod wink wink) rather than Having A Go - (take it like I tell it or I’ll gitcha!!!). [I did notice the odd ‘fake’ comment above - so maybe I’m not alone in this line of thinking]. I’m fairly new to the fold and find that the hate mailers unfortunately do much to reinforce the ignorant and stereotypical portrayal of Americans here in Australia. I will always take the time to read the responses - and yes, I find it refreshing and relieving that you lovely folk all spell (and I’m sure smell) much better than the anti-ramen rabble. See ya’ round like a meatball!
Isn’t cursing a sin? I’m pretty sure carnal thoughts are. And, to quote you, “SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!” That seems pretty carnal to me. Congratulations, you are going to this place you call hell.
Another glowing example of the love and kindness displayed by Christians towards those of us who chose to think for ourselves…this guy/girl sounds completely nuts… what’s really sad is none of these people stop to think that maybe we don’t really worship FSM and could quite possibly (and are) just laughing behind our hands at those of you who chose to believe in a religion equally appalling… just some food for thought :)
RAmen!
You know, Jade Jewel presents a very well thought out and rational argument. Perhaps I need to reconsider my beliefs.
Oh… this chick is funny…
I love when people are so self-riteous! And she is just so violent!
“I believe in hell… but you are diffinately going there! HOW DARE YOU THINK FOR YOURSELF!”
Pure genius.
Can we start a slow clap? :D hahahahaha
They are so hateful….
…”and then fifteen minutes after writing this FSM from the sky and they were never heard from again mwahahahaha!”…
this guy must be on speed first hes pissed at fsm then he laughs at us then hes pissed again some christains are so violent
and: SOME RANDOM PASSERBY NAMED DAVE some people dont have a choice in what religon they are a part of most public schools are teached christianity from Prep to grade 12 is there much of a choice there?
Ok, so the grammar issue has been touched on already, so I won’t waste my breath (or finger strength). The part about this that bothers me more than the grammar is that this person-type thing that wrote this comment seriously thinks that Jesus talks to [it]. Furthermore, I have never heard a devout christian use such language and hatred toward anyone or anything. Not to bring up that unfortunate best-selling children’s story, but the bible says to love everyone as you love yourself. Well, I guess all are not destined to know the Glory of His Holy Noodliness.
I find it funny that someone would call this religion retarded and stupid, and through the course of this person’s nonsensical rambling uses some of the worst grammar and spelling I’ve ever seen. I mean if your going to ridicule something you could at least try and sound smart about it. Ultimatley, this person is a douchebag. FSM 4 life!
his noodly appendage be blessed, your comment fills me and the other pastafarians with noodly joy!
RAmen.
how very christian of you….just a side note…..not every religion follows the whole 12 deciples of a zombie thing.
I, the Eternal Flying Spaghetti Monster, was deeply upset by this hateful, so called “Christian” man’s response. If you choose not to believe in me, I understand, for I would be skeptical if I were you. However, I respect your choice to believe in God, Jesus, and the Bible, and, although I am all powerful, I would not punish you for not believing in me. The thing I find unacceptable is your intolerance toward my disciples, and, for that matter, all people who do not agree with your beliefs. I suspect that your “God” would not approve of your hateful, foul-mouthed comments. I have seen many others like you, and I will not forget. You will be punished for your rude, intolerant speech.
–FSM
FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!
Exactly! Cause we all know that an invisible being that is everywhere, all knowing, and all powerful is way more realistic than a ball of spaghetti. I mean, when have any of you actually seen evidence of spaghetti and 2 meatballs existing!
Thank you Jade-Jewel for washing away these people’s ignorance. It’s about time somebody stepped in and made some valid points around here.