YOU DUMB BITCH!!! this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god ! If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell! FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around food or something? Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!? Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in hell! But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?
WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!
- jade-jewel
“You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.”
.
Judging from your insane ramblings, I’d say you’ve had quite enough already.
Wow.
I am honestly done for this evening. I don’t think that it is possible to find much more in the way of idiotic statements online tonight (I’ll probably see something 10 mins from now that takes the cake then).
RAmen.
Yo Barack wassup?! ;-)
This one seems to be just vying for a top score on the Fuck Wit meter.
….either that or an extremely painful case of HDD! (Humour Deficit Disorder)
However it does seem have a hint of a genuine tone of desperate screaming delusional insanity to it though.
.
jade-jewel really need to get the number of a good proctologist who specialises in head extractions.
You have opened my eyes with your loving message of peace and tolerance. Praise be and pass the parmesan.
Oh and….
“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
Would that be before or after those starving people had aquired AIDS as a direct result of fundi xtian missionaries preaching “Abstinence Only coz condoms don’t help prevent the spread of the HIV virus”?
We all know where we are going when we die. However, if we are wrong, and your heaven turns out to be real and full of loving, forgiving souls like yours, Hell seems like the better option anyway.
“this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god!”
.
Says you! So prove it!
I think you meant to place a comma between COCK and BITCH at the end there.
are we really that scary that we can cause that kind of reaction?
So… what? Born again?
.
Yeah… gotta be. Next time try to spell Spaghetti right and click the about button before you go on a crusade. Alright? Thanks.
Fake
Are you a christian, nazi or both? Anyway; language, grammatic and expression are typical christian style. My advise to you is find a good hospital specialised for religious mental illnesses and eat a lot of spaghetti.
until this guy can prove the inexistance of our lord with proof rather than dimwitted physical threats, im not changing my belief
Chop me up for being… FIRST!
This learned gentelman makes me glad the the Christians are the “tolerant, loving, non-judgmental, and forgiving” religion that they are…and the great sense of humor and ability to read beyond what others tell him is astounding…I am also in awe of his resounding logic as far as my belief in the FSM goes, he has made me question all my religious…NAY!!! All of my world views………….
righhhhttttttt
RAmen
BZwM
Fellow pastafarians, let us pray to the FSM to grant this moron a brain. And a rudimentary spell-check program. Or, at the very least, to snap off all his fingers and so save the internet from his stupidity.
RAmen
Welcome to the site.
Thanks for telling us about your religion, it certainly sounds interesting. I hope you can learn a little about ours.
whatever
Our deity totally looks like a spaghetti monster. D:
Wow. You’ve really shown us the love, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness that you get from worshipping Jesus & God that I’ve heard so much about.
.
You’ve finally convinced me jade-jewel (rather girly-sounding name for someone who claims to have a big black presidential cock). You’ve convinced me that I’ve travelled the wrong path thus far, and now I must make a change. I want to accept Jesus into my life as my saviour, and God as my creator. Now I know my calling in life. Now I must become a foul-mouthed, egotistical, abusive, agressive, violent, caps-lock obsessive wanker. For it obviously pleaseth the lord.
.
On the other hand - nahh! I think I’ll stay here. The people here seem much less hateful.
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Dignity
at least, a really entertaining post. Those moderate are not so funny. thanks jade! Pasta be with You!
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
yeah! that’s a good purpose; I’m sure He will understand. In the meanwhile, why don’t you use christian’s church money to feed them?
“you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell!”
Hell is not so bad, warm beer is better than no beer.
Why are you so angry? Of course, when the FSM touched everybody with His noodly appendages to give them the intteligence, He forget you. He was drunk, I hope you can forgive him
“IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!” Jesus talks to you?I’m sorry, but hearing voices in your head implies demency…
“I’m gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!!” We are ten million -hehe- that’s not possible at all
–
“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” ”
Ok, were IS youR God when the christians dies in any war? Is he gonna save them? NOO! Because he IS not real! - well, I’m not denying here his existence, only your argument
–
“AND yes i do believe in hell!” - me too, ecs, warm beer and VD
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
He’s not an idol, is a god. And no, He can forgive you for not believing in Him, the FSM is not so insecure, provided that you are a good guy. Although, by your hate I can’t imagine you as a good guy. Maybe is warm beer for you
–
“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
It’s called irony. Why fundies doesn’t know about that?
–
“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
That’s more information than I need from you. You think your maleness is menaced? Talk to a freudian psycologist.
–
May His noodly appendages touch you
seriously people when you laugh you do not scream
also you seem to be rather vulgar I thought jesus did not like that
Firstly:
“IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS! ”
Then you are obviously not one of the blessed!!!
Secondly:
“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!!”
Have you ever considered the fact that the joke may be on you?
Thirdly:
“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now?”
Duh!! Everywhere!!!
Fourthly:
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
No but…
“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
Using your lords name in vain may well get you there!!!
I pity you and hope you find peace in yourself soon. Have you ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist? You are obviously feeling a lot of anger. Either that or maybe you could turn to the FSM. The FSM can help you find the peace you seek!
“THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Rationale only applies to our god…
wow, some people really don’t get satire.
Still, it’s good to see he follows christ, i’m sure he says something similar :
“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!…i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves…SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
nice guy.
Your powers of sweaing, grammar and spelling truly touch my heart, I shall follow god. I counted 20 swears.
HOLY SHIT!!!! Does ANYONE read the open letter anymore? IT’S A SATIRE!!!! You’d be very hard pressed to find anyone who really believes in the FSM. And then he says he Barack Obama, wow….
Apparently just the oddest people find our site ^_^And then they say they’re Christians. Apparently parody religions are one of their buttons.
LASTLY we aren’t a cult, we’re a full blown religion. We have millions of followers!
couple of points @jade-jewel
“If he[FSM] were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
.
so you don’t help poor people because our god doesn’t exist? Then you must agree with that the world is better with a flying spaghetti monster
.
“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
.
name one thing that is more realistic than pasta!
.
“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”
.
I take that bet, now give me my money(don’t bet on facts, it’s stupid)
.
“That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt! SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
.
then I assume you are one of the blessed few who actually seen his noodlyness, scince you have such knowledge of his appearence
Suck your what?
When did they let you out?
And yet you still eat jesus in your communion.
But thank you for demonstrating the intolerance of Xianity once again.
For a non believer you seem to have a lot of insecurities on the subject. You’re not Noah back for more are you? AAARRRRRR!
Wow! I sure am glad your Jesus teaches you to be peaceful and loving.
“You’re a true vulgarian, aren’t you?” — John Cleese
Well, I certainly feel enlightened.
I couldn’t dream up a more convincing piece of evidence that there are serious problems with xianity. This sick individual will probably never check the responses to his/her twisted raving, because he/she is too busy pulling the wings off flies and terrorizing helpless children.
But just in case you do check back, could you please tell me where in the bible it tells you to scream and swear and insult your percieved enemies? I must have missed that part.
Fuck man, calm the fuck down! I’m afraid I’m out of pot, or I would give you some. Shit. Lemme break it down for you:
First off, you would be hard up to find a pastafarian that does not enjoy fine pasta goods. You wouldn’t have to force feed us spaghetti, because most of us would eat it as soon as we saw it anyway.
It’s Spaghetti! Not SPEGHETTI. Monster, not Monsterrr. You have no idea how much you offend us by misspelling our deity’s name. What if I said “FUCK JEIZUS, JEESUS IS TOTALLY GAY!”?
Your god is not Jesus Christ by the way. God is your god. This “Jesus” is your messiah, if you’re going to insult us, make sure you at least no enough about your own religion
Christianity is the least unique religion of all. Your god is modeled after Zeus, your Halos are actually egyptian sun circles, your messiah is depicted in the same way as Buddha.
Does it matter what form your creator takes, as long as you agree that there is a creator? So what if we choose to believe he takes the form of Spaghetti? Any god that I would want to worship wouldn’t care what form we chose to believe he takes, just as long as I worship him.
What the FUCK is a Shrum? Where can I buy this…shrum?
You need to read more about our beliefs…there ya go…resemble anything?….maybe…EVERY OTHER RELIGION ON EARTH?
HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GREAT HENDEROB?
One last thing…you realize most of us don’t actually believe in the FSM don’t you? Actually, it’s more 50/50. (I’m pretty much split in the middle)
lol angry Christians.
The author of this rant is a perfect example of the validity of birth control.————–is are children lerning??????
Birth control ????????? YES!!!!!!— is are childrin lernin?????????
Such a compelling and well-reasoned argument. I am wavering in my noodly beliefs. :(
I have edited your rant I thought you might want to look at it this way.
YOU DUMB BITCH!!! there is no such thing as a fucking Jesus and he’s not god ! If he were real I would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa! you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking the beer volcano! FUCKING SPAGETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC! IM SORRY BUT MY RELIGION DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT SPAGETTI! Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around. Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something?? What are the disciples of this Jesus guy? A piece of bread and a fish? LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick I wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!! I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “where’s your Jesus bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!” Do you guys like revolve around myths or something? Who’s the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid! Cause this is some trippy shit! AND yes i do believe in the beer volcano! But im not gonna go to the beer volcano for believing in a false idol like you stupid believers! FSM I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT? Ramen!
green plate.
I’m sorry you feel this way, but is it so hard to believe that something made out of Wheat (one of the necessities of life) is divine? I find it easier to believe than most of the Hindu gods. Also… the FSM doesn’t have disciples… only Jesus had those and we are not a copycat religion. You spelt shrooms wrong and I think that you need to re-evaluate your priorities before you do any of the stuff you mentioned.
errrrrr no comment
Speaks for itself really.
well, that is a most convincing argument…
..but he does exist!
gold!
p.s. obey your noodly master!
A noodly appendage is definitely not what this guy is touched by.
“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!””
same could go for you….i could tie you down, and start shoving a bible down your throat….my guess is your god would not do anything because he is not real eitehr
I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!! and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO! Cause hes NOT REAL!”
i could do the same to you, and start shoving bibles down your throat and all that would happen would be you would choke to death on a big fictional novel. no “god” would save you
“IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Even though the last line of the rant is a demographic-revealing standout of comic genius, I think this one is the author’s obliviously delivered pinnacle of irony. For real or not - I suspect not; too much thought gone into being as bad as possible, nearly competent sentences here and there - it’s a pretty good one.
Erm. . .
You kinda went from mad to batshit fucking crazy.
Force feeding us spaghetti, forcing us into fellatio and pissing on our graves? That’s not just extreme, it’s take quite a disturbed mind to come up with that stuff. I think someone has been spending a bit too much time with the Bible
Also I think he’d have found the disciples of his great noodliness were Pirates, (Yahr!!) had he taken a little time to read up on us.
May his noodly appendage touch the poor soul who sent this
RAmen
Hmm, well said! Articulate, to the point, loaded with rational arguments, I do believe I see the light, hallelujah brother! You don’t by any chance live in Florida do you? Were you the one that moved to add the word “Theory” to the teaching of evolution in their schools? I’m sure it was you, your homiletic signature is evident in this discourse.
Like, this guy must like make his like second grade english teacher like so proud….
Dear Prophet Bobby,
.
This is so bad that it does not deserve a response. I know your policy is to post hate mail, but this one is really beyond belief. Thoughtful hate mail, a la Rachel, is at least worth reading, but this one is not worth the time. It makes no point, no argument against the FSM or our church.
.
I suppose you did not want hurt jade-jewel’s tender feelings by not posting it, but still…
Lemme guess, you must be a good christian.
I would like to ask FSM the almighty, why has this even been posted? Its so bad its not even ridiculous, just plain depressing.
Thank you,
CC, a new convert
Ramen to all
LET JESUS FUCK YOU LET HIM FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Such angry and juvenile remarks could only be spoken by inbreed, cousin marrying, de-evolved troglodytes such as yourself jade-jewel. You certainly talk large for someone with an obvious phallic deficiency. Someday when you are filling your three headed offspring with this kind of loathing and intolerance, may you realize just how ignorant you truly are, and feel the touch of His Noodley Appendage. In the mean time it would behoove you to think before you speak (or type as the case may be) so as not to convince all those around you of just how mind numbingly dull and asinine you must be. For the sake of your cousin and the world in general I hope you are sterile or at least have an emasculating experience involving some kind of heavy machinery. I realize most of this is over your head so I’ll stop now before I use any more words you have yet to learn on you twelve year stint in kindergarten. RAmen.
Wow, what I don’t understand is this. People come and preach that they aren’t going to go to hell because they don’t worship ‘false’ idols…. They may not go to hell for that reason, but they sure will go to hell for being a fuck-tard…
Whomever our creator may be (I vote for his Great Noodly One) gave us freedom of choice…
Don’t be a hater because our god is cooler than yours bitches!
ALL PRAISE THE NOODLY!
what is with all the profanity and hostility? you need a xanax or something!
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! ”
Perhaps not, but you’re definitely going to Hell for blaspheming.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.
First, read the entire website, then seek counseling, my profane friend. The cult of the FSM is a spoof reaction to the efforts of right wing religious zealots to have Creationism or Intelligent Design taught in public schools under the guide of “science.” Neither Creationism nor Intelligent Design can be considered science by rational beings and therefore should not be taught in schools as such. Followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster believe that our theory makes just as much sense and if a public school teaches Creationism or Intelligent Design they should teach that the world was created by the FSM with his noodly appendage. That’s all. Your reaction is violent, irrational, and distinctly un-Christian. I know many Christians and they are secure enough in their faith to not be offended by us. In fact, the Christians I know are offened by those who want Creationism and Intelligent Design to be taught in schools as science. I don’t understand how you can be so angry … after all, it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster who gave you life in the first place with his noodly appendage. You should love and revere him as we, his followers, do. Arrgghh!
“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion??? Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”
I’ll take that bet, how much?
This is most definitly fake. I really hope it is because if it is real, than my already low opinion of our society just dropped serveral points.
I do believe jade-jewel has LOTS of issues/problems……and I think religion is the least of them.
Wow. Out of 5 billion sperm, you were the one that made it, huh?
Eerie.
Wow. And they say cults are dangerous?
Jade-Jewel. (Yes, I respect you enough to capitalize your name for you). I suggest a set of psychotherepy. Your obvious bipolar disorder is getting in the way of normal human relations.
I like your Christ.
I do not like your Christians.
They are so unlike your Christ.
– Mahatma Gandhi
How dare you insult my father !
divine flying spaghetti monster,
have mercy on jade’s soul !
I hope you feel better about yourself now.
Wow. Your intelligence is amazing. I feel like we should put you in a jar and study you using the scientific method or something. I can tell that you must be right by the sheer number of monosyllablic slanderous words that you scream at people. Obviously this truth that you possess must bring a level of peace and clarity to the world that us pastafarians do not understand.
Thats okay… remember that the FSM loves you.
This is stupid. Moving on.
Somebody needs a hug! Or perhaps heavy medication.
jade-jewel:
.
Even the early Christians were ridiculed and persecuted by the Romans, among others. The Hovering Macaroni Miscreant, who is the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s “right hand noodle”. You see, the Hovering Macaroni Miscreant intentionally puts misleading religious rhetoric into human society to see which people can see through the lies to get to the truth of the glorious Flying Spaghetti Monster. I see that you have bought into the HMM’s “God” and “Jesus Christ” delusions wholeheartedly, which is very sad. The FSM wants you to be in heaven with him when you die, enjoying the fruits of the Beer Volcano and the Stripper Factory.
.
Pastafarians see the truth, taste the truth, and know the truth.
.
R’Amen!
.
- Cap’nUberbob
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Glad I’m not part of his religion. Who the hell wants to hang out for eternity with a deluded idiot. Better yet… WWJD?…LOL LOL LOL! I really doubt he’d tell somebody to suck their balls! The FSM however…he does tend to get drunk a lot…
Virulent!!
I am too disgusted with you for words.
One thing I chose to pick up on was where you said you’d tie us all down and force feed us spaghetti and the FSM wouldn’t save us…
I absolutely 100% guarantee that Jesus wouldn’t save you if I did the same to you.
Please don’t be so agressive- I’m sure both religions could be friends.
Ramen.
I think you might be on to something with this garlic toast disciple. I thank you for furthering my belief on the flying spagetthi monster with this new idea. RAmen!
eating spaghetti is a form of worship. i hope you do send some to africa. and not all spaghetti can talk, just the single God FSM. The disciple.prophet is henderob (as far as i know) Also, its going to be hard for you to piss on millions of graves, but maybe if you’re really dedicated you might. You don’t need to tie me up and force feed me spaghetti, I do so willingly. The only real idol is the FSM, therefore no hell for me. i have never had anything shoved down my throat. and i was unaware Mr. Bush had a: “BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK!!” and what doesnt look like a spaghetti monster?
you suck dick you fat whore.
Now that’s what I’m talking about! We haven’t gotten mail that entertaining for some time, and I for one feel refreshed.
One thing that strikes me about this one is that “jade-jewel” seems to think that her very own Jesus Christ believes in the FSM, as evidenced here: “JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”. It appears that jade-jewel might possibly be trying to bridge the gap between the outdated Christianity and the newer, hipper FSM Church.
Wow. I can almost feel the christian love and compassion coming from this guy. BTW, you will go to hell for denying the FSM.
you said so yourself, its all a joke. so lighten up. the internet is full of all sorts of stuff, much worse than this. just laugh, or die of a stroke at an early youthful age.
I love it how people swear and curse on the Internet. Just because you cant actually see them, they think they can act like a total jackass.
hooray for Technology
Found this site quite a few years ago, I do not believe in God (or a flying spaghetti monster) but I always get a laugh from it. Not sure if you people actually do believe it or not, or if its just a joke, but good work, and keep it up! Laughter is the most important thing in life
-Will
Member of the “Save the Classic Liners” team
Protect the SS United States, America’s greatest Maritime Acheivment
Find out how at
http://www.ssmaritime.com/SS-United-States.htm
I am one hundred per cent certain this guy is NOT related to Barach Obama.
Post again and I will personally shove crucifixes up your mouth and say “HAH! where’s your god now, huh?!”
Besides, how about religion in our classes? Isn’t that shoving something down peoples throat?
Oh, and when you don’t want to believe that bullshit, YOU GET CALLED INSENSITIVE! I’m sorry I crushed your fantasy and gave you a life! Please call me insensitive!
To us the FSM isn’t Jesus either. Because Jesus looks more like a fucking hippy.
Just to let you know… this site is pure sarcasm… you know, sarcasm, that thing we mock idiots like you with, especially when you can’t notice the obvious sarcasm.
Who’s the dumb bitch now, huh, dumb bitch?
Oh, I’ve been wondering one thing now by the way: Why are you guys against gay people, yet you worship a giant crotch?
Sorry for my last comment, got a bit agressive because of this guy calling us dumb bitches without even spelling right. Sorry to all Christian people as well. I just needed to get it all out. Truly sorry for all the good guys out there.
Jade-Jewel you just showed everyone that you do not know how to read. You never heard of satire. You must be trash from the way you type. You are a sad excuse for a human. Click about and read what it says and why it came about. It about not teaching Intelligent Design in science class. You are proof there is no such thing as Intelligent Design.
.
I hope your not old enough to vote. It is scary that morons like you are allowed in the voting booth. Go back to your minimum wage job because you obviously are not smart enough to do anything else.
.
RAmen!
This hate-mail doesn’t even deserve a response.
.
Typically, I haven’t got the time to respond to someone with such an obvious lack of intelligence, but I’ll humor ‘Jade-Jewel’ (who obviously has never had humor in his life).
.
So, Jade…or whatever your real name is…why is it you feel the need to come here and say such things? And how dare you say our FSM is ridiculous, and not realistic. Last time I checked, RELIGION NEVER HAD TO BE REALISITIC, YOU JUST NEED PEOPLE TO BELIEVE IN IT. I certainly believe those Christians, who’s Jesus can walk on water, and was his own Father, and who also came back from the grave.
.
Also, yes, you should serve up Spaghetti to starving people in Africa. We would all like that. The FSM is always willing to help out. Alongside that, you don’t need to ‘force-feed’ us spaghetti. We love to eat it. It’s an honor to eat spaghetti (makes me feel closer to the Noodly Savior).
.
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
.
How ironic that is is beyond me. Nobody EVER shoves FSm down another’s throat. That’s one of the things most of us here HATE. Typically, it’s those hardcore Fundamentalists who do that to fun-loving people like us.
.
Basically, ‘Jade-Jewel’, you are an idiot.
.
Have a nice day.
Wow, did someone really spend the time to write this diatribe? Maybe this person should go back to grammar school and learn how to write.
“I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Yes - pretty much the point…
“im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti! JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!! ”
Perhaps you’ll go to hell for ‘Taking the Lord’s name in vain’ then?
Wait - You’re a heavily indoctrinated person named Jade-Jewel and you have a big black cock? I’m starting to see the source of your anger problems…
“YOU DUMB BITCH!!!”
I bet you’re a Christian, dumb bitch?
.
“ this is no such thing as a fucking flying spaghetti monster and hes not god !”
Then what is god, dumb bitch?
.
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!”
That’s very nice of you. You’re clearly a compassionate dumb bitch.
.
“you people are sick and demented, and your all going to fucking hell!”
So you are a Christian! I wonder what gave it away, dumb bitch?
.
“FUCKING SPEGHETTI I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC!”
Oh sorry, you’re quite right. He’s a sadist with a beard in a bath rode how silly of us, that’s why more realistic dumb bitch.
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“ IM SORRY BUT MY SPEGHETTI DOES NOT TALK TO ME IT IS NOT JESUS!”
So you’re saying Jesus does talk to you dumb bitch? You should tell your doctor about that.
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“ Lol you all are way to funny XD You guys must be on some good drugs, pass that shit around.”
Why would I want to share my valuable stash with a dumb bitch like you? I don’t even think you could handle it, what with being a dumb bitch an’ all.
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“ Sooo like are you guys in a cult or something??”
Are you that stupid you can’t read an ‘About’ page when it’s clearly at the top of the site? What a dumb bitch! Seriously, how dumb must this bitch be to not even know what they are writing a page of drivel about? Did this bitch get up this morning and think’ how can I make my self look dumb today? I know…”
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“ What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy? A piece of garlic toast and a meat ball?”
So you didn’t even read the title at the top of the page? Wow you are dumb… Bitch.
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“ LOL!!!! You guys are soo sick i wouldnt even spit in your direction and when you all die im gonna piss on ALL of your graves!!!”
Oh and we’re the sick ones? All comes out now doesn’t it? Little creep likes to piss on graves.
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“ BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are all a joke!!”
No this is a joke:
Two fish in a tank.
One says to the other,
‘You know how to drive this thing?’
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“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!!”
And how do you intend to do that? Or should I ask; you and who’s army, dumb bitch?
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“and i will scream out “weres you fuckiNG spaghetti bitch now?”
And will all your imaginary friends congratulate you and tell you how cool you are? Please! If you met me in real life and I told you I posted here you’d shut you bitch mouth. I’ve seen your kind before, all mouth and no trousers. You can’t even come up with intelligent insults; you just expose your self for the dumb little bitch you are.
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“Is he gonna save you?”
I’d be more concerned about who’s going to save you. Your clearly need some sort of help, dumb bitch.
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“ NOO!”
Are you some kind of dumb bitch cow, to stupid to say MOO correctly? Or just to stupid to use the spell checker on your PC? (By the way, in case you weren’t sure, a PC is the thing you’re thumping away on wile dribbling).
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“Cause hes NOT REAL!”
Oh well done! No really, did you come to that conclusion by your self, dumb bitch? Or did you get help from your therapist?
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“Do you guys like revolve around food or something?”
What are you talking about dumb bitch?
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“Like cause you have fine art taco photography?!?”
Like, you can, like, look at the taco’s but you can’t, like, click on the about tab? Those would be a link to someone else site dumb bitch.
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“Who the dumb bitch who thought of this religion???”
Once again, if you weren’t such a dumb bitch you’d know that. It’s not a secret stupid.
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“Cause i bet you money they were on shrums at the time or maybe some fucking acid!”
Ha ha, fantasying about what it would be like to be on drugs dumb bitch? If you had some ball you could try some?
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“Cause this is some trippy shit!”
How would you know, I bet you’ve never even had alcohol have you? I’ll even go as far as to say your one of those kids the cool kids give alcohol free beer too and then laugh as you make an arse of yourself pretending to be drunk, dumb bitch.
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“ AND yes i do believe in hell!”
Well I gathered that. Anyone as stupid and hateful as you has to be a dumb bitch believer . Probably a closet case too.
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“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
No just for regular Idol worship, dumb bitch. I take it you know something about religion? Or are you just some dumb bitch wanking off because you get turned on by using rude words now that your stuffed toy collection has stopped talking to you?
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“JESUS CHRIST I STILL CANT EVEN GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE IN THIS BULLSHIT!!!”
I still can’t belive you belive in Hell, a place on one has seen or been too, dumb bitch.
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“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?”
No, that’s for lesser religions like yours, ones that appeal to dumb bitches.
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”WTF???That does not look like a spaghetti monsterrrr you dumb cunt!”
What doesn’t? Be more specific dumb bitch. What’s a spaghetti monster suppose to look like?
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“SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”
I knew it! I knew you were a closet case! Poor little sexual repressed dumb bitch.
Maybe if you weren’t such a cunt someone would want to be your friend, then maybe they’d pity you enough to suck your undersized cock for you.
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“- jade-jewel”
Well thanks for coming and making yourself look like a dumb bitch.
It’s always a pleasure to ridicule a sexually repressed, hate filled idiot.
So long dumb bitch!
Oh wow, I am in awe.
How can you keep that much rage going for that long. I’m assuming, from the spelling, grammar and low brow profanity, that jade has a rather low IQ and cannot type that well. So, in order to bang out this chaming piece of invective he/she/it must have been tapping away one fingeredly for quite some time. It is very difficult to stay that angry for that long, I know, I tried, couldn’t do it.
There’s so much wrong with this one I don’t know where to start on this one, and I’m so blown away, so I’m going to let others pull it apart…
… wow, I’m seriously impressed… that’s a lot of anger…. I’d seek counselling if that was me….
This angry man could really use some Marinara sauce and meatball love! Calm down my young brother. We Pastafarians don’t knock your beliefs of men who can turn water to wine, walk on water, heal the sick and allow you passage to an unproven immortality. So please don’t knock our beliefs that we were touched by his tasty carbohydrates!
…..Whoa. Someone needs to take his/her pills today.
You people make me laugh. In making a point that there is no evidence to prove the FSM exists would be the same as me saying this.. “ther is no God U dum bitches u can’t prove he exists”. You can’t bash on a belief system that has the same flaws as your own religion. It’s called hypocracy. I know, a big word… look it up.
what?
Jade-jewel your an idiot. I’m not going to waste my time saying anything more about you.
RAmen
?
calm down dear.
Taken from Dictionary.com
sat·ire [sat-ahyuhr]
–noun 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
——————————————————————————–
[Origin: 1500–10;
Magnificent! Takes the whole hate-mail concept to an entirely new level. I’m sure Jesus would be proud of you.
Mark 12:31.
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You’re in my prayers.
Well, I may disagree with his opinion, but I have to give him something: he’s clearly a balanced person.
I would love to see you get a beat down and laugh while saying wheres you god now?
Lol go die then ask where god is
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone *quite* this angry with us!
Don’t you all love how religous people preach peace, yet you get this?
“i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!” If your god is so powerful, why doesn’t he just stop the hunger now?
“Like cause you have fine art taco photography” You evidentally don’t know fine art when you see it.
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?” Like the crusades or christian based charities?
“I MEAN COME ON IF YOU WANTED TO COME UP WITH A RELIGION THE GOD HAS TO BE SOMETHING MORE REALISTIC”
Like an invisible deity who is able to do anything in the world (except create a stone so heavy he can’t lift it) who so loves everyone that he sacrifices his own son and then, despite this tremendous love, sends them to hell if they a) refuse to believe in him or b) thank him profusely for giving up his son.
*that*s realistic right there. I could *totally* buy that.
“I will tie down everyone of you sick bastards and force feed you guys spaghetti!!!”
As a diabetic, this would be compromising to my health and could be considered a very serious threat to my life. Are you sure you don’t want to apologize for that? I’m sure there are many statutes that cover physical threats….
Umm…I have a question. What?
Don’t you all love how religion preaches peace, but you get this?
“If he were real i would chop that bitch up and feed him to the poor starving people in africa!” If your god can make it rain bread and quail and split waters, couldn’t he just stop the hunger?
“Like cause you have fine art taco photography” You evidentally don’t know fine art
“DO THEY LIKE FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHIT? LIKE SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT?” Like the crusades or christian based charities??
“But im not gonna go to hell for believing in a false idol like you stupid spaghetti!”
No, of course not; you’re going to hell for sinning against your beliefs. What ever happened to “Love thy fellow man”?
Go read the Bible for once. I’ll bet I’ve read more of it than you have.
How un-godly is the tone of your diatribe, how gramatically incorrect, how mean-spirited! Would your Jesus have rebuked an unbeliever in this disgusting fashion? If you want to disagree with us, please do so in a civilized manner; then perhaps someone other than only one person (me) will even think it worthwhile to respond to your nastiness.
Last time I checked, your god isn’t very realistic either. Since when does realistic mean incarnates himself in a virgin then dies and reanimates 3 days later? Also, you seem like a very violent person, and you help the world out in a negative way with all of your rage against satirical fun. I’m sure if your god does exist, hes angrier with you than he is with us. cheers!
jade-jewel,
I am going to assume that you are a Christian because of the frequency of you use the name of God and Jesus. Since I have a degree in religious studies I can assure you that Pastafarianism has fewer holes in its gospel and beliefs than the entire Judea-Christian belief system. If you have so much faith in Jesus perhaps you should read some of the gospels that did not make it into the bible. As far as scholars can tell, they were written at the time of Jesus, but they were not included in canonized scripture because they raised to many questions about who Jesus really was. Read the Infancy Gospel of Thomas and tell me you still think that your God is any better than ours. Or perhaps you should actually read your bible all the way through because if you knew anything about your own religion you would know that your language is enough to send you to your hell. don’t be a hypocrite.
I think what bothers me most about the “Christians” who comment here is how completely offensive some of them are.
@jade-jewel
“What are the disciples of this spaghetti guy?”
.
The disciples of the FSM are a group of Pastafarians and regulars to the online CoFSM. They were devout, evangelical believers before moderation was instated. Why? It’s an invitation-only group. You are most definately not invited.
I don’t think Jesus ever said, “SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!”, but he did say, “Love thy neighbor.” I guess you could take them to mean the same thing. It’s all how you interpret it.
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FSM bless you and your BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK.
.
-OEJ
you are such a fucking idiot.
do you know what a parody is? look up that word, dumbass….
This is a PARODY religion, made because they were going to teach other ideas of ‘intelligent design’ in school besides evolution eg. adam and eve came down and started everything…
SO, if they are going to teach that acoording to faith, then why cant they teach OUR faith in a ‘flying spaghetti monster’.
No-one (except for a scientologist) is stupid enough to actually believe in this shit.
i cannot believe ANYONE (you) would actually think that… you really are a stupid fucker.
so you should go suck your own big black presidential cock.
-m
LOL - Oh dear me. Are we really expected to take this seriously? He is asking us if WE are force fed? What a monumental piece of rubbish!
ssst.
In the words of Ron White, “The next time you have a thought… just let it go.”
You posted this before you talked to me, and that was your mistake. You really think trolling these boards and stirring up this kind of poor excuse for writing is going to change anyone’s mind about anything? Well it won’t. The best you can hope for is for people to just ignore you and move on. What is more likely is that you will show the ignorance you are so afraid the world will know about.
How do I know you are afraid of that, you ask? Simple, you feel the need to speak out in the most threatening way possible to people who do not wish you harm in any way, shape or form. These people don’t want to convert you to Pastafarianism. They don’t want you. They want intelligent people to see the information and letter to the Kansas State School Board and be entertained by it, as well as make the intelligent people among those arguing for Intelligent Design to take a step back and look at their argument to see how faulty it is.
Let me ask you something, since it is my belief you are talked down to and thus s