Take a look in exodus chapter 20 verse 3 -5 clearly states no to worshop any other God besides Jehova it also states in the same book chapter 23 verse 24. it tells us to demolish pagan gods so that mean we have to crush y’alls “SPAGATTI MONSTER” (that is so lame and retarded) and if you guys even want to enjoy peace in your life and know that you are going to heaven look up romans chapter 3 verse 23 it say for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god that means EVERY BODY SINS BUT GOD AND JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIOR
take another look
Romans 5:6-21
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. 12 Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned– 13 for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. 14 Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come. 15 But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! 16 Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. 17 For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ. 18 Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. 19 For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous. 20 The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, 21 so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lordor how about this one
Romans 10:1-11
1 Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved. 2 For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. 3 Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. 4 Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes. 5 Moses describes in this way the righteousness that is by the law: “The man who does these things will live by them.” 6 But the righteousness that is by faith says: “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down) 7 “or ‘Who will descend into the deep?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8 But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9 That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11 As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”there is more
Corinthians 3:11-15
11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. 14 If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15 If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.Oh no I am right oh no that this pasts frainism is a bunch of hungry fatbodys.
-16yofc
Take a look in exodus
Published by Bobby Henderson February 16th, 2008 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 267 Comments
267 Responses to “Take a look in exodus”
Wow….You just wasted so much of your life typing that up. If I only I had that much time on my hands…
Anyway. You realize that quoting lines from the BIBLE at people who know the Bible to be completely (if not just somewhat) fictitious is absolutely pointless…Just a waste of your own precious, mislead life.
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These guys don’t realise that someone who worships another god isn’t bound by the OT. they are such idiots.
I also think I got the premier reply.
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it was the other day when my friend told me a joke: A priest goes up North to a tribe of Eskimos and says “If you do not believe that Christ is your lord you will burn in Hell for eternity.” The Eskimo says “If i had never heard of Christ would i still burn in Hell?” The Priest said, “No… God is not cruel!” The Eskimo then said “Well then why did you tell me?!”
Christian try and “help” people who do not want to be help, and practically force their religion on people, while Pastafarians just let people decide for themselves. 16yofc is trying to use the Bible as PROOF we are going to Hell, but if we do not believe it is true, then how does it effect us? IT DOESN’T!
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See the problem starts when…. well when you started speaking. You should just stop. Your bible is written by fat little boy penetrating priest. Actually that piece of shit book really just never makes much sense at all. Your quoting a crazy mans attempt to satisfy his curiousity. Your pretty crazy yourself sir, i wish his noodlyness would reach down and touch you, i feel ever so sorry that you’ll never get your stripper factory and beer volcanoe.
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Quoting the bible as evidence that we shouldn’t worship OUR god, a book written 1500 years ago by a bunch of roman douche bags who worshipped a different god (named Mithra), who were trying to steal a religion in order to save Rome from tearing itself apart, as if that is “evidence” of something, to a bunch of people who don’t believe in what those roman douche bags had to say… interesting.
Please read page 78 of THE Gospel
1. I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness (you broke the first of the 8 i’d really rather you didn’ts).
listen… the bible is a very funny fairy tale, but I really wouldn’t quote the brothers grim as though you need to pay attention to every word as fact.
I honestly don’t care what the Jews wrote in exodus when THEY wrote the old testament, and I really don’t care what the Romans had to say when they wrote down their opinions of what the great Buddhist Jesus Christ had to say. All I will say, is that quoting something a evidence which has zero basis in reality or fact, and has been proven wrong on SOOOOO many fronts (earth is flat, earth is center of universe etc…), really doesn’t move intelligent people. However, I do realize from this post you have a hard time understanding how smart people think.
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Dear 16yofc,
My holy book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, says otherwise.
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I have read your book. You really should read mine. It makes much better sense and does not make you feel bad about being a human being. Why not give it a try? If you don’t feel the touch of His Noodly Appendage within 30 days, you can go back to your old ways. Guaranteed.
.
RAmen
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“11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ”
Uhm… Buddha laid very similar foudations 2000 years before Christ. The whole, love each other, stop blindly worshipping gods and performing rituals you don’t understand, and have a personal relationship with your religion, don’t be all preachy, don’t be a greedy shit and screw up everyone else’s life being all preachy about stuff you don’t understand yourself…. that was the “real” Jesus’ message and it wasn’t an original idea or foundation for anything, it was the oldest prevalent concepts of organized human culture dating back to written documents that existed in China (older than your stupid bible claims the earth is), it was pretty much the purpose of the founders of every major religion (including FSM) have been trying to say. Jesus also didn’t “choose” to be crucified for you, the Romans sorta did that for him, and they did it because people were starting to listen to him, reducing the power the Romans had over their people (he was a revolutionist when it came to religion, and like bush, without fear people are hard to control, although Bush uses terrorism not god, but you get the idea). However when the romans decided to hijack the name Christ from the Christians to save Rome in 450ad, they basically had to have a noble reason for murdering their new messiah, and so, turned him into a self sacrificing marter which sort of makes sense…. so that quote from the Romans bible is a tad flawed, especially considering the entire book is nothing new… They simple went through the Mithra sun god’s “history” (their myth, which is very easy to find documents on since it was only 1500 years ago and tons of literature remains) and renamed their own god (Mithra) to “Jesus Christ” with pretty much a search and replace in Mithra’s story, and just retold Mithra’s myth and called it the new testament, the whole thing is a tad suspect to me..
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Dear henderob. Your contributions are frequent and, in this particular case, very elaborate. It seems His Noodliness has been able to grab your attention. You will soon be touched by His Noodly Appendage (provided that you are willing to trade “TEMPORARY disappointment” in exchange for meaning in your life (the dissapointment will go away very fast as you realize that you have been fooled during all these years ))
“chapter 20 verse 3 -5 clearly states no to worship any other God besides Jehova” seems to me Jehova had very little self esteem, was insecure, and very much egocentric. Besides he may not have accepted His Noodliness or maybe he felt challenged by Him. Remember that FEAR is the best way to add more customers to your religion; very simple marketing.
We are so much perfect that a 30-day trial offer is included and in fact, we are more than willing to let you shop around for other gods. His Noodliness will not be offended. He knows that as soon as you open your eyes to reality you will come back! That is why our religion is so perfect… No fear included.
I was thinking of replying to every single point you mentioned but I have to go to lunch and hopefully fill myself with His Noodliness. Maybe later this week l might come back to you. In the mean time, I know that several of our members will be more than pleased to enlighten you.
One final point… You should really check your sources. You see, all that you have written comes from very thick pamphlets not much different from either the JC Penney Catalog or the communist propaganda of the 50s. Based on very simple observation and reason, one can completely reject your god and every single word written in his/her/its name. It just a scam!
I have always wondered why do you need to spend so much time trying to understand what your or other gods really wanted to say? Old Testament lessons, New Testament lessons, etc., come on! This is nonsense. Simple brainwashing! This should be evidence that whatever was written was a very big lie that require CIA, FBI, Mossad, Vatican experience to brainwash you and force you believe that all those written words can be somehow considered truth. Please think about it! Wasting so much time to try to understand someone else’s view of life because of a mental disorder does not make much sense to me. Remember, lies are very hard to sell. Also, as the lies grows, interpretations and explanations become more and more complex and inconsistent. (There is a Bernstain Bears Book about this right?)
On the other hand, our Gospel is written in very simple language, rated PG-13, and I assure you, no interpretations required, no batteries included… then again they are not needed.
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Hm… How do I say this….
Well, let me start by saying (*SPOILER WARNING*) that no-one here actually believes in the FSM (SURPRISE!). This is a satirical spoof of modern religion…. Wow, I think that I just got a little bit dumber from having to explain that….
Ok. I used to be a Christian. I know all of the “evangelism tricks.” Seriously, when I went on missions trips, I had to sit through evangelism boot-camps. Back then, I almost knew what I know now, and that is that evangelism is only effective on people who WANT to believe something like that. Why? Because there is no solid evidence to present. You just stated your views about Christianity and what spawns from that faith. Instead of defending it with real proof, you defended it with the Bible. I stopped being a Christian when I stopped believing what I read in the Bible. NEWSFLASH: If someone doesn’t believe in Christianity, it is not very likely that they will believe in the Bible. Seriously, it is a book of fiction to us. No matter what it means to you, it means NOTHING to us. It is circular reasoning. “Christianity is true because it says that it is true!”
Ok, following that logic, Islam is also true. In fact, how do you know that Islam isn’t the true religion, and you are following a lie. That is the problem with these exclusive religions. Entry into one is often based upon what your parents believe, what you were brought up to believe, and what is prevalent in your area. People who were raised in an Islamic home will grow up to view Christianity as false, and vice-versa.
I know I didn’t explain this very well, and I could probably just keep going, but my time here is done.
If you have strong faith, please read The God Delusion (by Richard Dawkins). It is an excellent book.
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What’s all this gibberish? It made my head hurt to attempt reading it.
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Yeah, but take a look in the Gospel of the FSM. It clearly states that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is God. And we know that the Gosel of the FSM is the One True Word of the FSM. Therefore you should worship His Noodleness, not your silly zombie person.
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What was that? I stopped paying attention after the first paragraph.
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Er… yeah well done. Nothing like a well thought out and reasoned argument based on provable scientific fact or theory grounded in research and evidence is there.
Fucking nutter.
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Ungh! You’re so boring and so very stupid!
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A Scripture Battle!!!! I love it! Count me in…
.
Here is proof that the Creator, His Noodly Goodness, wants us to respect people of other faiths and foodstuffs:
.
THN:Tower of Scrapple
“Like Noah, his sons were real entrepreneurs, and they did spread out – Ham went to the southern nations and started the Hamites; Cheese went to the central nations and started the Cheese-Its; and Omel journeyed northward to start the Omelets. There they did establish family diners to supply the locals with foodstuffs.”
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Im pretty sure his name stands for “16 years old, of course”
Maybe not in body, but that’s probably about the level their intelligence is at.
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Let me start by saying (*SPOILER WARNING*) that no-one here actually believes in the FSM (SURPRISE!). This is a satirical spoof of modern religion…. Wow, I think that I just got a little bit dumber from having to explain that….
Ok. I used to be a Christian. I know all of the “evangelism tricks.” Seriously, when I went on missions trips, I had to sit through evangelism boot-camps. Back then, I almost knew what I know now, and that is that evangelism is only effective on people who WANT to believe something like that. Why? Because there is no solid evidence to present. You just stated your views about Christianity and what spawns from that faith. Instead of defending it with real proof, you defended it with the Bible. I stopped being a Christian when I stopped believing what I read in the Bible. NEWSFLASH: If someone doesn’t believe in Christianity, it is not very likely that they will believe in the Bible. Seriously, it is a book of fiction to us. No matter what it means to you, it means NOTHING to us. It is circular reasoning. “Christianity is true because it says that it is true!”
Ok, following that logic, Islam is also true. In fact, how do you know that Islam isn’t the true religion, and you are following a lie. That is the problem with these exclusive religions. Entry into one is often based upon what your parents believe, what you were brought up to believe, and what is prevalent in your area. People who were raised in an Islamic home will often grow up to view Christianity as false, and vice-versa.
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Hm… How do I say this….
Well, let me start by saying (*SPOILER WARNING*) that no-one here actually believes in the FSM (SURPRISE!). This is a satirical spoof of modern religion…. Wow, I think that I just got a little bit dumber from having to explain that….
Ok. I used to be a Christian. I know all of the “evangelism tricks.” Seriously, when I went on missions trips, I had to sit through evangelism boot-camps. Back then, I almost knew what I know now, and that is that evangelism is only effective on people who WANT to believe something like that. Why? Because there is no solid evidence to present. You just stated your views about Christianity and what spawns from that faith. Instead of defending it with real proof, you defended it with the Bible. I stopped being a Christian when I stopped believing what I read in the Bible. NEWSFLASH: If someone doesn’t believe in Christianity, it is not very likely that they will believe in the Bible. Seriously, it is a book of fiction to us. No matter what it means to you, it means NOTHING to us. It is circular reasoning. “Christianity is true because it says that it is true!”
If you have strong faith, please read The God Delusion (by Richard Dawkins). It is an excellent book.
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What…the…hell…
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I’m not sure if this is even qualified as a hate mail.
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*sigh*, more bible quoting. When will they learn?
Ah well, at least he/she/it had the decency to call Jesus “my” lord and saviour, and not “our”. That’s something I suppose.
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Oh, so you can use something illogical to prove something that is illogical? Capital! I also commend you for your ability to copy and paste. In my personal archive of Jesus’s teachings, Jesus preached about the joys of flying pasta. But the manuscripts are invisible, so only I can read them. Prove me wrong.
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So like, how can we argue against you if you assume everything in the bible is correct?
If you can blindly assume that your holy book is correct, than I have the right to believe everything in my holy book is correct. Otherwise, I’m going against the will of God! Don’t want that, right?
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Holy fuck. God DAMN (yes, I dare to blaspheme) that was boring as hell. Decided to quit reading after the first paragraph because I knew all it was gonna be was scripture. If I wanted to be bothered with reading your lame ass old book I would. Don’t presume that because I don’t believe in your imaginary friend that you should be forced to tell me what you think I should hear. I’m in a pissy mood right now and I don’t need some christian dipshit telling me what I need to believe.
Sorry for the rant my fellow Pastafarians, but it’s raining out and I just woke up.
~Mariner
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You give us what the Bible says, but don’t give us a convincing reason to believe it’s real? Typical. Anyway…
Jesus did say you should convert other people to Christianity. But I don’t think Jesus ever said you should disrespect and hate others for not believing in your religion. Honestly, I don’t remember a single church that taught Christianity the way you teach it.
I learned from Church to love my enemies, and try to understand their standpoint. Haven’t you?
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Great, another twit quoting bible-verses at me to prove the bible is true. Other religions also have holy books little boy (16 right?), they also say they are the one true faith/book, doesn’t prove a thing.
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really now, quoting the bible? a sacred book to really only Jews and Christians. Besides, who’s to say that Jehova, the one true god is not the same as the FSM and all the other mono theistic deities? The Christian bible is, here mostly irrelevant. I’m not going to try to bash you for your faith, though. But, please, practice your own faith and leave ours alone.
May he touch you with his noodly appendage
RAmen
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Wow. Unsubstantiated “proof” of a non existent being!
Since it was written down then it must be so.
All Xians are retards.
Behold, the new gospel. All Xians are retards. You read it here, so it must be so.
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Jesus who?
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Please, my noodly Lord, grant all humans the ability to understand satire, even the ones who don’t believe you exist. By the way 16yofc, using the Bible as proof of your Gods existance or as proof against the noodly One’s existence doesn’t work. That type of argument is called circular reasoning.
May you be touched by His noodly appendage,
Spartan
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Or, how about YOU look in the dictionary, under Satire.
Ahuh.
Yeah, I’d feel silly too.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.
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Dear lamo 16 year old for Christ:
I want you to know that we are all living iniquitous lives so that we can call the wrath of god down on all our heads–including and especially yours. It’s kinda like the guy who wears the t-shirt that says
“I know violence ins’t the answer, I got it wrong on purpose.”
We’re just living our lives of sin on purpose so we can have the sheer shadenfreude (look it up) of seeing people like yourself screaming in terror and agony when the almighty rains flaming sulphuruos death down on righteous and wicked alike-just as he did so many times in the Old Testament.
Know what? There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s a free country, and people like myself will use our constitutional freedoms to mock and piss off your god. Since you are unable to stop us, your god will punish you every bit as much if not more than he punishes people like me.
Enjoy what little time you have left.
RAMEN
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Why are so many people seriously thinking we would abandon our holy FSM because the bible tells us to do so?
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Hi 16yofc! Here’s a couple of dollars, go buy yourself a couple of original ideas! =^_^=
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What is a Spagatti Monster?
“his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. 14 If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15 If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.”
-What if what we built survives and what you build doesn’t?
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And you wasted all that time on some superstitious belief of yours that is, let’s be honest, about as likely to be accurate as the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Good job!
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Another clown who can’t understand a spoof.
Get a life dude.
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com
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Just how many times do we need to point out that the bible is not proof of itself?
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And we are not hungry. He ensures all pirates and wenches have bellies full of pasta and grog. I doubt anyone ever got full on a jebus cookie (or enjoyed it if they did).
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Please stop vomiting forth Bible verses trying to disproof the FSM. You have NO proof those Bible verses are true, and not just some drunk in the corner writing down whatever comes into his alcohol-soaked brain.
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But in our Gospel, it says that those who believe in Him shall go to a heaven full of beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.
Shall we duel books about invisible deities? It’s like Dueling Banjos, but less redneck and more… ecclesiastical.
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Why doesn’t anyone in this bible thingy write more clearly?
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What a vain and self centered bastard your carpenter was. Not is. Was. Worm food. Deceased.
What vanity, what self indulgent bullshit. To imagine that anyone would care that he died for our sakes? For Christ’s Sake! And they made him a God.
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And what exactly are those quotes from a compilation of ancient fairytales supposed to prove?
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I don’t believe, however, that Exodus has anything to say about being required to misspell the names of those nasty pagan gods.
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you can quote the bible all you want but all your argument really boils down to is…”because the bible said so.” which isn’t really an intellectual debate. neither is calling us hungry fatbodys. F for originality. A for time invested.
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“all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god that means EVERY BODY SINS BUT GOD AND JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIOR”
That’s total bullshit. It means that they are impervious to the effects of sinning. God has sinned several million times.
Damn God can’t even follow his own fucking rules. What a dickhead.
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tl;dr
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well, that might be convincing – IF i believed in the bible!
but the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster and other holy books say something different!
plus the first commandment says you shall not have any gods BEFORE me – it does NOT say no gods other than/beside/except me. so if you’re a jew or christian, you can believe and have other gods, you’re just suppose to put yhwh/yahweh/jehovah first.
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LOL!
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Wow.
I looked up Jebus in the phone book. He is a Mexican Gardner. Why should I worship him?
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oh,oh,oh! Judge not lest ye be judged! Oh,oh,oh love thy neighbor as thy self! Why don’t Christians ever follow those two? Can ya’ll tell me whats a pasts frainism is? I reckon I cain’t figure it out.
fatbody…..?
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Have you ever noticed how rabid Christians can’t spell? Do you think it’s the emotion of the moment perhaps that robs of this ability?
Just curious!
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hmm a fundie trying to disprove me by pointing out verses of a bible that I believe to be fiction
logical
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Wow! 16yofc sure took a lot of time writing that e-mail. Its people like him/her that make Pastafarianism so appealing. Talk about ignorant!
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Dear “16yofc,”
Hey, what vesion are you using? Depending on the version you use, this could all just be a “load of tripe.” Most versions of any religous book, for that matter, have been edited by kings and such so that people must follow their ruling…I mean, look at King James! Of course, wedon’t have to worry about that kind of stuff in our church, now do we?
Besides, shouldn’t you be going after some other religion, with your silly holy war you are declaring?
Yours truly, bbbrrr_the_shivering_pirate, a.k.a. Nerdicus
P.S. Why did I say load of tripe?
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Thanks, dude… without you I wouldn’t have gotten my proper dose of raving lunatic today! PS: You’re special ;-D
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Ok, all i got from this, was that some people think quoting the bible is going to convert us, NEWSFLASH – telling us something we already don’t believe, isn’t going to convince us that you’re right, just that your an idiot. The entire purpose of this post, was to attack us, because your deity is not tolerent, unlike the gracious FSM, may you be touched by his noodly appendages. RAmen.
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Dear “16yofc,”
Hey, what version are you using? You do know that most versions have been edited and changed, and basically have become unreliable as any kind of book or doctrine or proof…I mean, Kings and noblemen used to change all kinds of religous books regularly-I mean, look at King James!
And besides, don’t you have some other religion to persecute, or declare a “Holy War” upon?
Yours truly, bbbrrrr_the_Shivering_Pirate, a.k.a Nerdicus
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Wow, that was pretty wasted work, looking up all those verses
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All this assumes that we actually believe what your bible says. And we don’t.
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Quoting from the Bible doesn’t make it any more real then quoting from the Gospel. Since Jews don’t believe in the New testament and do not believe Jesus was the messiah they would disagree with you.
1.”every body” is everybody , typical of a Christian whack job to make that mistake.
2. It is Spaghetti not “SPAGATTI” you moron! Which means anything else you wrote is a bunch of crap and has no merit.
3. Christianity was a Pagan religion when it first began. Ask the Jews and the Romans.
4. Calling us lame and retarded is not Christ like and you are violating your own religious principles.
For all you cutting and pasting you have no argument and only show that you are an uneducated fool that based on your grammar lives in the bible belt and probably lives in a trailer park.
Oh yeah, ever hear of satire? Guess not otherwise you would not have wasted time putting in quotes from the bible.
Get a life and go back to school.
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For us to be “terrified” or at least religiously give a care, we would have to be religious or believe in your bible to begin with.
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Bible Verses! I’m convinced now, 16yoilliterate.
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Boring! How about you explain how everyone (me included) has the belief that they are right. Unless we are in parallel universes, (not a high chance of being likely). Thing is, how do you know you are “right”? Technically I can fly, I believe it, I have total faith in it. Is it true? Technically yes, in several cases:
1. When I am aboard an aircraft that is flying.
2. When I imagine that I am flying (following your logic, I believe therefore it must be true).
3. When I read Peter Pan, because it’s a book, and therefore must be true.
Also, as a point of civility, if you insist on bashing someone’s beliefs, please learn proper grammar.
Thank you!
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Wow. Don’t you just love original thought?
Dude… chill out.
Here, have some baked ziti with seitan.
RAmen
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I dunno. You god uses a lot of numbers in his sacred passages. What was that, like one per sentence? Seems kinda sciency to me….
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Here’s the thing, man. We’d have to believe in your “bible” first.
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Blah, blah, blah… why don’t you have somehting as our I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts. Why do you always have to attack other people because they don’t share your beliefs. WHY? Your bible quotes my have as well the same effect as if you were quoting a Spiderman comic book. Don’t assume your truth is universal. Live in peace with others, that’s what our beloved FSM would want us to.
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But, by y’all’s logic, the FSM must be true, cos it says so right here in this book of mine. Y’all needs ta get on down to y’all’s bookshop & get a copy. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster holds the truth, and if y’all disregards it, then y’all will suffer an eternity of stale, warm beer; mouldy pasta; & middle-aged, worn-out strippers dressed in old lingerie from the bargain bin at the city mission thrift shop.
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And, like I said, it’s gotta be true cos it says so right here in this book of mine.
.
Saint John the Blasphemist
Saint of 2nd Hand Shops
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Well what if you’re wrong and we’re wrong. Our book is written by His Noodlyness, and is indisputable law.
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So, to sum up your entire letter. “The bible is right because it says so in the bible”.
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Wow! I mean, just … WOW!
This is the kind of non-thinking that must be fought. For a 16yo fanatical Christian (fc?) to submit such a verbose email on His Noddliness is simply further evidence that His Message is not being spread far enough and without sufficient force.
His way is not The way. His way is not the Best way. His way is A way (and a darned good way, too), and that is what needs to be brought before the masses. If I win my council election this April, I promise to perform the first City Council Invocation as a blessing from Him.
Together in Pasta,
RAmen.
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It’s in a book so it must be true, eh?
So I guess that means that the FSM is real and that YOU are wrong. I’ll be enjoying my stripper factory and beer volcano, yarrr.
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Have you even read the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Its just as credible and a much shorter and happier read. But I do have a favorite passage from the bible to return back at you from the lord of love:
psalm 137:9
How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones against the rock
Sexy huh? Nothing quite as compassionate as baby killing…
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Is “Wow” a suitable response to this… this?
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errrrr IDiot
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Wow! Your powers of copying and pasting are amazing! I am truly converted to Christianity!
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This only shows just how insecure your god is, and how he can’t accept that not everyone worships him. It also shows how insecure YOU are by saying we need to be “crushed.” Why don’t you go and crush all the other religions while your at it? You know, KILL MILLIONS IN THE NAME OF YOUR GOD? Sound familiar eh?
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Give me proof of god, and give me proof that he will actually send us to a place of eternal fire because he’s so insecure, and give me proof that he wrote those phrases and not some guy on ecstasy.
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Lastly, “a bunch of hungry fatbodys”?? What’s that for? Ah yes, a Christian says we need to do this or we’ll burn in hell, quotes from his almighty ecstasy book, and then insults us.
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Good job.
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…why do Christians hate English syntax so much?
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let me answer those quotes with qoutes of my own
south park episode 1,2,3,4,5 etc.
kyle & stan:
you bastards
its clear your a bastard, because I qouted something, right?
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I couldn’t get past the first couple lines without thinking of pasta. The Noodly logic used here is surely evidence of our great pasta savior.
RAmen.
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Eeeeuw…we’re being bible versed again!
Shoo…..go on shoo
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16yofc,
We can point to passages in our Holy Book that say the FSM is the creator of the world. What makes your Bible more correct than ours? I can only hope one day you will come to worship his noodliness. Until then, I pray you are touched by his noodly appendage. RAmen.
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We don’t believe what the bible says.
Okay your turn now.
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I’m overthrown by skriptures, I surrender :) No, I’m joking :)
Why does every whacko think, that if he knew his fantasy book by hard, its convicning?
I know many people who know LOTR by hard, does that make it true?
Well, if a book says, its the only true word of god, why not, right? :D lol
Also, here in the heart of europe, posibly one of the most atheistic countries, there is no need for pastafarianism, which makes me sad and happy at the same time :)
Ramen from Brno :)
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Okay… I have to admit, I gave up on reading this at “y’alls” but whoever wrote this must be high on something… honestly. Quoting pieces from the Bible to non-Christians… when will they learn?
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“But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” – Jesus of Nazareth, as recorded in Matthew 5:44
I cant find anywhere in your bible that says to force your beliefs on others.
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why do you follow a book that contradicts itself?
first you say that Jesus died to forgive our sins……later says that god will send the sinners to hell.
Then , why god let Jesus die in the cross?
It is easy…the bible is bullshit.
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God you’re an idiot…
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*woooooooosh*
Oh I see. Now that the might of random scriptures has blinded me, I wil worship God.
RAmen
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Why should I heed the words of a god I DON’T WORSHIP! Jeez Louise! And yes, I do actually say Jeez Louise in real life. As well as Fudgeums.
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So that person’s proof that his religion is the right religion is because his religion says so. That’s really twisted logic.
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I won’t be the first to point this little gem out, probably, but if we don’t even believe in the Bible, why should we care what it says?
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Your gospel is false, ours is the one true gospel; you just wasted your time.
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Eh. Seems like a manufactured spoof. Sorry, I don’t buy this one as genuine.
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-OEJ
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“Take a look in exodus chapter 20 verse 3 -5 clearly states no to worshop any other God ”
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Pure advertising in a world of competition – what would you expect it to say? The book of Pepsi tells us “Thou shalt have no other Cola but me”, but I still drink Coke from time to time.
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16 is no where near old enough to make an informed decision on such an important question – give it a couple of years before picking this particular brand of unreason.
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And somehow a book written thousands of years ago at a time when people still believed the world was flat is proof that will change my mind? Wow! Your arrogance knows no bounds.
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Well, I guess that settles the issue.
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“it tells us to demolish pagan gods so that mean we have to crush y’alls ‘SPAGATTI MONSTER’ (that is so lame and retarded)”. You call pastafarianisms and their god retarded, but then you can’t even spell spaghetti right?
http://www.freewebs.com/awsumnessanity
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Well at least you bothered to actually find the proper passages as opposed to saying ‘my mom said they’re in there’. Good job with that. But, explain please how you know that the Bible is true over our Gospel? You’ll probably tell me that our Gospel was written by man, but newsflash, Bible was written by people too. And translated a zillion times, which means it’s probably deviated from the original a significant margin. People inspired by God wrote it? Methinks Bobby was inspired by the FSM too.
They have nothing over each other, and that’s the point. May he honor you with his noodly appendage. rAmen.
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Thanks for the info.
Bible quoters scare me though, so sorry, I can not date you at the moment. Bye.
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We Pastafarians have written proof, too! It is called The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Read it and learn! Unlike pre-pubescent fundy, I will summize:
beer
pirates
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@16yofc
this post is made with one assumtion: the bible is true
sadly enough(for you), it isn’t
luckily for you pastafarians are non-violent people who only use persuation as means of converting people. You will therefore recieve little more than insults from our part.
.
If I may point out that there are a lot of people who are a lot more violent that fall into that pagan category of yours. I suggest you stop being narrowminded or atleast stop being narrowminded in public/semi-public.
.
As said, this is sad, but atleast this reminds people how relegious conflicts are created.
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Yaaawwwwwn!!!!!!
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2 things.
Number one: I guess it is pretty obvious to see that the man is too stupid to understand our great religion.
He can’t even spell spaghetti correctly “Spagatti”,
And number two: Do some people find it completely impossible to respect something they don’t believe in? I think Christianity is wrong but I don’t going around saying Christianity must be wiped out. Although I don’t think this guy deserves to get to our beer volcanoes and stripper factories.
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“pasts frainism”? do you mean Pastafarianism?
“SPAGATTI MONSTER” ? Do you mean Spaghetti Monster?
Why are you people all illiterate?
Hey, I know a book that says that Frodo had to take a ring to Mordor; just because it’s in a book does that mean it’s true? I don’t care what your bible says!
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What’s a ‘hungry fatbody’? am i missing something?
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I notice that Corinthians 3:11-15 says nothing about Pirate Ships
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Maybe he should read a REAL science textbook, hmm?
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I was so disappointed. I was hoping to see a reference to The Noodly One in Exodus but instead just another tedious fundy ranting.
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Cute, a christian hate-monger.
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Since you, 16yofc, cited Exodus 20:3-5 and called God, Jehova, I am assuming you are Jehova’s Witness. What is in a name anyway. What difference is it if I call the supreme ruler of life and the universe Jehova , Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Bob? You blindly follow the teachings of your watchtower society and never question anything. I feel really sorry for you. Let me know when the next end of days is so I can go to all of your JW friends an buy their property cheap. Next time you go to your bible study, ask some questions. Who wrote the Bible? Who edited the Bible, Who translated the Bible? What makes the bible any different than the Holy Koran, Mother Goose, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, or the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Why is Chuck Taze Russel’s “New World Translation” better than King James, Martin Lutheran, or Thomas Jefferson’s versions? Hold on, Jehova is calling me on my cell, he is giving me some divine inspiration. Watch for my testament in a holy book near you…
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And because someone took the time to write it down, it must be true. QED
Quoting Bible passages is about as meaningless as singing Waltzing Matilda… less in fact.
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Oh dear, oh dear.
.
Here’s another xtian who comes into our church and quotes their book at us. As if that is going to change anybody’s mind. If we went into their church and read our book at them, they would be outraged.
.
Tempting to try it sometime. But, alas, I have manners, so I won’t.
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RAmen
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Umm… whats your point?
Throwing scripture at people who don’t believe in it? do you really expect people to take you seriously? there is really no point in telling people who don’t believe in hell, that they’re going to be spending eternity there…
and exodus, or romans or Corinthians for that matter, can say whatever they like, it don’t make it true. you cant prove anything through scripture until you prove that the scripture it true. can you do that? Can you prove that god exists and that he wrote your holy book? please don’t try and prove that by quoting more scripture… spare us.
i get so frustrated i want to scream…
CARBONARRAAAAHH!!
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First, let me point out that you are quoting a fictional book written by men. Consequently this causes your quotes to be meaningless. If you were to say this book is not fiction, I would ask you to prove it.
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The best way to convince someone that the bible is a bunch of unholy crap is to make them read it. Anyone with half a brain will realize that it is a bunch of fairy tales.
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Aside from my arguments above, allow me to indulge in this quoting game.
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Deuteronomy 20:10
“When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim peace unto it. And it shall be, if it make thee answer of peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be, that all the people that is found therein shall be tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee. And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it. And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword. But the WOMAN, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.”
.
The woman? I wonder what was done with those women? There are translations of this passage where the word women is replaced with the word virgin. How old would a virgin be in this time period? 15? 16? Would these “women” want to be with these men that have taken them from their homes? I’m sure the word rape could sum up my point here.
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Deuteronomy 22:28
“If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.”
.
REEEEAAALLY? So I can just go find a virgin, have my way with her, and if I get caught my punishment is to give her father 50 pieces of silver and marry her? Well I could probably find quite a few federal prison inmates that would love a principle like this… Lucky most humans are not stupid and we put people like this in jail
.
I have one last quote. Is not from the Christian bible, but sounds like it belongs with it. It is scary how similar the quran and the bible are so similar.
.
“Remember thy Lord inspired the angels (with the message): “I am with you: give firmness to the Believers: I will instil terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers: smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them.”
.
Anyway, my point with all this quoting is your god makes Hitler look like a pretty cool guy. I would worship a Flying Spaghetti monster, hell I would worship a doorknob before I took the bible to be the word of an all loving all caring god.
.
Your quotes mean nothing. I was a Christian when I was very young, then I read the bible, then I wasn’t a Christian. It’s as simple as that.
.
RAmen
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Blah, blah, blah, a few quotes does not evidence make. Face it; we are all just guessing here. At least mine is an educated guess!
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I know all these words but I can’t parse this. Can someone translate it into American for me please?
“Oh no I am right oh no that this pasts frainism is a bunch of hungry fatbodys.”
Especially that. I don’t even know where to start….
Also, is there not a “Thou shalt not kill” thing somewhere in the bible? Although ironically, all this has proved that there are other gods out there besides the christian one. There god said so himself.
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I want proof other than the Bible that Chistianit is THE religion. Keep in mind many other relgions make just as compelling an arguement and are older and more historicaly accurate. So, prove it.
Take your time, I don’t expect a reply. Dogma excludes the use of rational thought, and it seems all you know about is the Dogma. Shame you don’t use that brain your God suposesly gave you.
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Oh, and on a side note. Those are all from the Old Testament, that isn’t the part with Christ in it (you know Christianity)>
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I really want to respond to this one, but am not sure this is the right forum for what I want to say. So apologies to all concerned if you find this inappropriate.
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First off – 16yofc (does that stand for 16 year old fundamentalist Christian?) I want to assure you that we may not agree with your religious convictions, but you are welcome to believe what you want, as are we.
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My only concern is that the you ask yourself one question. Is your religious conviction the result of blindly following what someone else has told you? Or have you actually sat down and thought about what you have been told and arrived at your own conclusions?
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You see, that is what most of us here have done. We have spent quite some time examining the issues for ourselves and have arrived at the point where we see that the observable evidence in the world around us does not agree with what the Bible says about creation. The science does not support the biblical account.
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This means that we do not agree that Creationism (Intelligent Design) should be taught as a science, in the science class room.
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If you want it to be taught in your schools, teach it in a comparative religion class or a philosophy class.
Secondly, and this is the bit that might not really fit in this forum, the passages you have taken from the bible to support your condemnation of us are actually condemning you. By attacking us you are flying in the face of what these passages are about. Rather than emulating the character of Jesus you have lorded yourself over us as being better than us because of what you believe.
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You have completely missed the point.
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Take some time to sit and think about what you have said, how it fits with what the bible says about Jesus, and then ask yourself if your attitude is consistent with true Christian faith.
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BTW I am an a recovering Catholic who has come through Protestantism to Agnosticism by way of Atheism, so I think I have the experience to back up what I am saying to you.
.
Drew (PastaTux)
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It seems very typical of dogmatic Christians to use the Bible to prove their point. Unfortunately, they need to prove the Bible is correct (it clearly isn’t, it promotes slavery and wife beating), to use it as a source. Furthermore, they never use any other outside empirical evidence like us Pastafarians. 16yofc I suggest that you look at the great evidence we have to support our beliefs, such as the relationship between pirates and global average temperature, and reconsider your view. I’m sure that you’ll find us to be the tastier choice.
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Wow. It’s sad that someone would spend this long sending something in without doing some research into the purpose behind the FSM. Pitiful, actually.
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If we were christians, what you say would be true. But in order for this stuff to be true, you must be brainwashed in believing the Bible’s the truth, which isn’t the case for us. Christians are actually delusionnal people in believe a God actually created this universe. You need proof? Checked this site out: http://godisimaginary.com/ 50 prooves God doesn’t exist at all. Actually, only the flying spaghetti monster exists. Your religion is a parody religion copying the One and Only Truth.
May He touch you with his noodly appendage, so that you may be converted and saved from eternal damnation (Drinking stale beer for eternity)
RAmen
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Why do people assume that quoting scripture will do a damn thing? It’s like if quoted Hemmingway and then was surprised when nothing of significant happened.
Let me give you a hand: No one cares.
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If Jebus died for my sins, I am just trying to get my moneys worth.
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Hey guy, that’s all well and good however………We’re kinda going by a different book. Sorry, better luck next time!
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RAmen I Drive a YAR-is
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David: “I’m not sure if this is even qualified as a hate mail.”
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With this amount of scripture quoting it’s a toss-up between hate mail and spam.
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But spam tends to have better grammar…
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The hate mail section sucks. You guys wait for a weak argument to bash.
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“GOD AND JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIOR”
If God is your God, and Jesus is your God, then doesn’t that make you pagan as well? Tsk.
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Why oh why do people confused serious religious theology like Pastafarianism which has proper graphs, logic and evidence (+ beer) with a completely made up by committee religion like Christianity
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“It has served us well, this myth of Christ.”
Pope Leo X
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Well said, Pasta Tux. I think you speak for many of us.
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Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a 12-step program for recovery from religion? Churchaholics Anonymous!
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RAmen
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yes, yes, quote Das Bible at us – that’ll help…..
Your blind brainwash induced faith carries no weight here. Just accept that your opinion is as valid as the next persons & deal with reality. Believe whatever you want to – that’s cool. Just accept that a lot of other people simply don’t give a monkeys what you think. Have you heard of tolerance?
Peace and Pasta my friends!
Got to run – decks to swab, scurvy dogs to keel haul, rum to drink…. A Pirates life for me AAAARRRRRR
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Wow that’s alot of words, I read the first few sentences and got bored so I’m just going to reply with a “No.”
Nice try though.
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What is this long long post? It spouts nonsense. That, and it’s extremely difficult to read.
No wonder people believe the bible. It’s written in such a linguistic style (Linguistic, one of the FSM’s words?! Of course! Linguistic = linguine!), that those who do not believe in the FSM are confused by its words.
FSM told the christians to not write the bible like that. He, in all of his noodly glory, realized that they wouldn’t be able to understand in the future.
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16yofc:
.
The “god” “Jehovah” and his “son”, “Jesus Christ”, as well as the “Christian Bible”, were the creations of the nefarious “Hovering Macaroni Miscreant”. HMM was brought into existence by His Noodliness to try to deceive them into believing things that cannot possibly be true! It is a test! I hope that, in the future, you will ignore the insane blatherings of the Hovering Macaroni Miscreant, and bath in the glow of his Noodly Light.
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Sincerely,
.
- Cap’nUberbob
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The book Pastafarians follow…isn’t that book.
Pastafarians go by more scientifically supported rules than your book does.
oh, and…
“It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work.”
so, my recommendation to you is to follow the rules you believe in and to burn the book you’re reading in a furnace, and offer the heat to a homeless psycho. If the book survives, you’re free to keep reading to yourself in a padded room.
Thanks for playing, and have a nice day.
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funny thing is, he tries to prove the bible is true because it says so…
gotta love circler logic!
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Take a look in Ingo 18: 8-9, from the hidden manuscripts of Ragu the Mighty.
“Thou shalt have no other deities, pastas or lords before Him, the great Spaghetti with his Noodly Appendage. For if thou do, then the dark Kumquats of His grace shall fall upon your big toe”
See. Mine is right.
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Darling 16yofc.
Why the hell would I look to the bible as a source material? It’s full of inaccuracies and contradicts it’s self! So even without looking at how it’s been disproved over and over again, it shows it’s self to be unreliable (a bit like a compulsive liar being a character witness).
“Take a look in exodus” why don’t you take a look up my arse? It’s not only more valid but makes more sense and paints a prettier picture.
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“exodus chapter 20 verse 3 -5 clearly states no to worshop any other God besides Jehova it also states in the same book chapter 23 verse 24. it tells us to demolish pagan gods so that mean we have to crush y’alls” says you.
I say that the demolition of a group of people has another name. Holocaust. Or better, Genocide.
Good luck with that.
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FSM will forgive you for you injustice to the Pastafarian community.
For he is all that is great and all that is wise.
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Does no one understand the basic concept of satire? When being baptised are you also washing away humour as well as sin?
Also think about the term ‘circular reference’, that is an argumnent that uses itself as proof or ‘tautology’.
This sort of argument has no meaning as it does not supply any actual evidence.
… and before you say it ‘faith’ is not proof, faith denys proof…
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Many times has it been said before but… circular logic is well… circular. Sorry but invalid argument go back to philosophy class and come back with a real argument.
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You know what i think? I think you have a severe case of “Rectal Cranial Inversion” and need to see a doctor immediatly. this is not a real religion, this is basically the same thing as “Monty Python” or even some of the funny T-shirts teens like to wear, ITS JUST PURE HUMOR WITH A TWIST!!! Let me dumb that down just incase you dont get it. Preaching us the Bible is not needed. I know what it says, I believe it, but it doesnt say that i cant enjoy a fantasy belief. God hasnt damned me to hell for watching “Harry Potter”, “The Wizard of Oz”, or “Chobits”(Chobits is a Japanese cartoon, or Anime, about a porn addicted teen who comes across a special Persocom, like a computer only better, you should look into it. they also have a manga, or comic book.)Besides, we are all entitled to our own belief. And I think that if an Athiest, Muslem, or whatever doesnt want to partake in your religion, you should get out of their face about it and act mature, DROP IT!!! Let them believe what they want, if your right and they arent, consider yourself lucky. On the other hand, if they are right, oh well you could only believe in one thing anyway, so get over it. The only way i want to be preached to is in a church, where i am voluntarily there.
(sorry for shatterd feelings, suicidal outcomes, and spelling errors…)
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I forgot to mention one thing, “Rectal Cranial Inversion” means your head is too far up your arse. this will definatly impair your better judgement.
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I like sci-fi, but more up-to-date than the bible
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St.Matthew: “The hate mail section sucks. You guys wait for a weak argument to bash.”
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You say this as if there are any strong arguments…
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Ha ha ha, you’ve devoted your life to an old book written by some prankster and 12 of his mates! Though unlike your big beardy-man who lives on a cloud in the sky, his Noodleness will forgive you, not make u burn in hell.
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…couldn’t we just reply with contradicting information from our Gospel and have it be entirely as accurate?
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It is fundamental to any faith system that the focus of the faith should be something so unlikely to be a description of reality that it could never be proved. If there is any possibility ever of objective proof, it is part of a knowledge system that in the absence of proof, one can choose to believe or not believe, but one can not have faith in.
By espousing a faith one therefore asserts that it is part of mythology. I only mention this because some people seem to be confused.
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Yeah, telling someone they fall short of glory is REALLY gonna rake ‘em in.
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Read us more campfire stories.
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Shut up. We didn’t base our religion on the Bible.
Also, have you ever read chapters 1 and 2 of Genesis?
Two completely contradictory Creation stories. Don’t complain about Pastafarianism not conforming to Christian rules- especially when you can’t do it either.
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you say romens? I say RAmen. lol
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Ha our god is better, he even accepts non Rastafarians into heaven, just don’t be an ass whole and you to can be accepted Mr. 16yofc
By the by you misspelled something (16 year old fat kid, not cid)
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OK, seriously, is any of this hate mail real? Is someone just trying to keep the comments coming? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it either way but the idea that there are people in the world that are that…..what’s the word I’m looking for?… Stupid? Uh Maw FSM. Alright, so you don’t believe in FSM, but what makes you so convinced that your ridiculous fairy tale is any more valid. Do you see the point now? Also, just because you have mastered copy and paste doesn’t mean you argument is any more or less valid.
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dear 16yofc (16 year old freak confused?)
.
You completely missed the point
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Hey Christian,
What if the bible isn’t really from god?
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Wow. I read the first and last paragraph. I couldn’t read all the garbage! Not only do I have to decipher this child’s spelling and grammer, I also have to decipher what some dude translated from a translation, from another translation, of what someone said they heard some guy said a long ass time ago.
.
Oh, and I am a hungry boy, not fat, just hungry. What would I give for a steaming plate of His goodness right now. May His Noodily Apendage touch you 16yofc. Grow up a couple years, do some research, and learn to spell, than I will read everything you have to say.
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No! No! Stop! Just dont you bumbling fool! Do these Moderate Jesus Radicles not relize how vein it is to preach from their hell and brimstone; apocalyptic fairytale. I’m sorry to tell you but people like you are the reason why his hloy noodly appendaged had to come and save us from the fiction driven insanity that is the christian right. Down with ID and Jebus Santa Clause.
-Ramen and fettucini
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“if you guys even want to enjoy peace in your life and know that you are going to heaven”
we do know we are going to heaven, a heaven of stripper factories and beer volcanoes.
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@ Zorba – “‘faith’ is not proof, faith denys proof…” LOL – and as we all know “Proof denies faith, and with faith I [God] am nothing” – (Thanks Douglas Adams!) Thus we see that by offering the Bible as proof of their faith and their faith as proof of their Bible the Xtians are in-fact killing their god!
.
And what do we see gloriously revealed as the puff of logic disperses? The FSM!
RAmen.
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@ PastaTux
ROFLMAO, well I wasn’t going to come right out and say it but yeah… I think Douglas Adams would have loved the concept of the CoFSM.
One can only hope the fundies make a mistake on the next pedestrian crossing…
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I wish to apologize at the remark i made last night and say, 16 year old for Christ, I know you mean well, but you still do not understand what evangalism really is. It is not attacking others beliefs or fantasys, but understanding their diffrence in opinion and POLITELY share your beliefs. You must understand that not everone will believe what you say, but take pleasure in the fact that you tried. And then drop the topic. Once again, I apologize for my comments last night.
May God (and The Flying Spaghetti Monster) be with you,
A concerned and Praying fellow Christian
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forgot somethin’
.
RAmen!
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Yeah, telling us we’re going to hell is a sure-fire way to make us believe in your long bearded imaginary friend.
RAmen
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Many say that Genesis is inspired by God. I say that Phil Collins isn’t a very good drummer!
RAmen.
UnklMike
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After attempting to read the later biblical passages in the original letter, a quote from a friend of mine came to mind with regards to the Letters:
“Actually, Paul was the demented fanboi who never saw the source material, but produced massive quantities of fanfic that became canon.
In other words, he was James Blish.
(who wrote all the Star Trek episode novelizations and never saw an ep).”
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PastaTux, and others,
If faith denies proof and refutes proof then what do you say of such esteemed Atheists and Evolutionists as Dr. Richard Dawkins. He is willing to say that proof isn’t needed for the Theory of Evolution and that it can, and should, be excepted by faith. And he is not alone on this.
Just some food four thought: It faith goes, so does anything that requires it. Theism goes but so does Atheism – both require faith: Theism has faith in God while Atheism has faith in the lack of God. Creation goes but so does Evolution: Creation has faith in the Bible and in the account of Creation as told in the Book of Genesis while Evolution has faith in a Philosophy of Scientific Naturalism and in a Religion called Humanism. This is recognized by its supporters and it does have its “saints,” if you will. These would include such names as Richard Rorty, Julian Huxley, John Dewey, Carl Sagan, Issac Asimov, Charles Darwin, Friedrich Nietzsche, Dorothy Sayers, Karl Marx… and on the list goes.
Both Christianity, the supporter of Creation, and Humanism, the supporter of Evolution, are religions. Our Supreme Court recognizes them both as religions and both have all the marks of religions. The key mark, one might say, is faith and a belief in God or a god. For Christianity, faith is in the God of the Bible. For Humanists, faith is in their god – Man.
All that being said, I would like to add that I find the FSM movement quite offensive and crude. Yet, even though I find this offensive and disagree with it through and through I will not lower myself to the point of name-calling. I am, in the true meaning of the words, a tolerant Christian. Tolerance, by definition is disagreeing yet co-existing. So that’s what I am – tolerant. That’s what the Bible teaches – tolerance. That’s what Christianity is – tolerant. I cannot deny the fact the Christianity has been hijacked and used in the past. I must admit that it has been and as a Christian I am ashamed of what has been done in the past under the Christian flag, but Humanists do not have a clean slate either, but at least I can say I have a clean conscience.
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This is proof that 16yofc has far too much time on their hands and far too little in their mind. Religion is a lot like politics, full of things that are a complete fabrication. I for one don’t mind that you have convictions and faith that yours is the right way, but this attempt to convert my starchy brothers and sisters is crossing the line of taste and is the very thing that turns people away from your denomination. Thank you for your commentary on this wonderful work of fiction though (I especially like the part about how we are all sinners and doomed to hell). Next time maybe we could discuss something better, like Rand or Asimov or Niven perhaps.
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Snap… forgot to spell check.
First line, second paragraph: “four” should be “for” and “It” should be “If.”
Okay, good day then.
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Why would your savior be dieing for “the ungodly” if he was the son of God? Please explain this to me i would be very happy to prove you wrong. Also a note: for all you people out their when you are arguing with someone on such an important topic it does best to always use proper grammar or else people will not take you seriously and overrule you in whatever your argument is. Just take note of that.
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What is Exodus? I am very confused. I didn’t see that in my copy of “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.” Since it wasn’t there then it must not be real. Oh wait!!! This guy was talking about the Christian bible? Oh, my mistake. I don’t read fiction!!! So when you speak of Exodus and Corinthians, well I just tune out. Much like Christians do with any other non-Christian religion.
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I think I got infected with dyslexia from reading that
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good sir, i do not go around belittling your religion so please don’t belittle mine. you MAY believe in a omniprecent being looking over your sholder all the time but i believe that out lord the FSM is shaping the world. if you would read OUR bible, i believe we have much better beliefs than your’s and you’re preverted message of peace. RAmen my brothers and sisters MYBT
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Ok now this is getting nuts!!! This was created to prove a point based on the civil rights of the American people. What right is that you ask? The right to have our children learn facts and theories based on facts. if ever we wanted to know what you believe we would read the bible ourselves (which on a side note i have). The last nail that you yourself put in your coffin is you take the bible out of context and forget to mention that Christ himself eat with genitals. So your crush and eradicate by means of threats of death and hell are more then wasted on any one that reads this site. SO LEAVE US ALONE.
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proof that ignorance and blind faith truly know no bounds…
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Wow. I love how you all believe that everyone, even the people who DO NOT BELIEVE IN YOUR RELIGION, should be bound by the same religious guidelines you are. Seriously. Why dont you go fuck yourself and let us believe what we so choose.
Thanks.
Mike
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Yea dude if people don’t believe in the bible they probably don’t care about what it says. Its like telling a blind kid his shirt is red, it dosen’t matter if its true or not he won’t care.
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“”"it tells us to demolish pagan gods so that mean we have to crush y’alls “SPAGATTI MONSTER” “”"
What is that, a threat? Geez, I’m shaking. I would be so embarrassed if someone in the church of the flying spaghetti monster were to leave a threat on someone else for the sole reason that they don’t think what he thinks. I wonder how embarressed other christians are about your empty threats, but I guess some people still refuse to stop living in medieval times.
I, for one, am glad that the church of the FSM doesn’t make such threats, the only thing they want is for everyone to be loved, and whether they accept that love from the warm embrace of the flying spaghetti monster or a vengeful god that will make people burn in hell for eternity for not choosing him. The only good thing that we must all accept is that this one is at least loved by someone, and thats still enough for me. But, still, some people haven’t gotten over medieval threats, I feel sorry for the smarter christians who are living in the modern day that have to deal with radicals like this, it must I can’t get over how embarrassing this must be.
-RAmen, and blessed be his noodley appendage
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So this is how people in Africa, Asia and South America feel when Christian missionaries come to tell them everything they have ever believed in is wrong and unless they change they will goto hell because they say so.
It seemed so different reading about the this in history books with the aztecs, native americans, and so on were “converted” to christianity.
At least pastafarianism has a money back guarentee if you dont like it.
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I love how you guys are so hateful and disrespectful to the religions of others, yet you actually expect people to show respect toward your “spaghetti monster” religion, which is an organized religion itself. I can’t say I follow the logic.
You couldn’t “follow the garbage”? Apparently not as you have no understanding of the Christian Scripture whatsoever. I don’t call your scripture or what-have-you “garbage”, no I’d give you more respect than that.
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As Ghandi Said…. I like your christ, but your christians are so unlike your christ.
Jeez…. You, frankly are pathetic. Maybe we’re bad by your religion, but not by ours. WAKE UP!
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I read something about how in the bible there was…
And then my mind dissolved. To be perfectly fair, Christianity says nothing to the existance of other gods, just that no other god shall be above THAT God.
Which I think is just silly.
May His Special Sauce Rain Down Upon Thee.
-M-
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The stupid — it burns!!!
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If we believed in the Bible, we would read it! You don’t have to quote it at us- it’s a collection of stories. It’s not Gospel, despite the fact that that it litterally is “Gospel”. People wrote it. Not God. It’s fine if you believe in it, but don’t shove it in our faces, and we won’t shove the FSM in yours.
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Is it just me or does anyone else see the irony of someone who is unable to spell, construct a sentence, or even think through a single thought, trying to teach us the truth about anything. Forget about religion. How about teaching us about what to do when the light at the crosswalk turns read?
If this is a 16 year old, and it is from the USA, then I fear for the future of my country. By the time I was 16 I was capable of not only spelling well and constructing a sentence, but recognizing the appropriate time and place for discourse on various subjects.
I just hope that 16yofc is able to figure out its spell checker before it’s too late.
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blah blah blah… i read like none of that. way to long. But i will asume you are just a hater, jelous because our religion is so much better the yours.
peace love and pirates
RAmen
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Um…no.
[citation needed]
I read the entire thing as I thought you deserved a chance, then when I got to the end of the set of very long quotes, I realised.
You use scripture to give you knowledge of God.
You believe in the scripture because it is God’s words.
Do you see the circular flaw?
You don’t seem to experience God outside the bible, but rely on a bible-derived God, for ratification in the same book.
May you be touched by his noodley appendage,
RAmen.
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does anyone knows if there is any other information about this subject in other languages?
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If you really believed we should be Christian, you’d tell us about Heaven and what Jesus preached. Not just how we’re all going to hell. Is the word ‘Repentance’ in your vocabulary? It’d help more if you told us good things about Christianity, wouldn’t it? Don’t know why I bother. Ignorant people…
RAmen, Blessed be and Merry Meet.
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Umm… I not sure anyones ever told you this 16yofc but your using an argument fallacy known as circular logic. Quoting the parts of the bible that give the bible authority, doesn’t give it any actual authority, all you’ve said is the bible is right because it says its right, and you are wrong because it says your wrong, and it has authority to declare this b/c it states that it has authority.
See lets try this in reverse now.
Dear Heathen
As we know I am a prophet of FSM, pasta be with you, and I say because his noodly appendage’s will is manifests in my words, that FSM is the one and only true master of the universe, he even has a cool master of the universe belt which he won from a fight with FFM (Flying Fork Monster). FSM is all knowing, all loving, omniscient, omnipresent, conveniently invisible being (because with the whole omnipresent thing all we would see is pasta everywhere, so we owe our thanks to his noodly invisible conveniences). FSM says that anyone who speaks of or writes of other religious books are automatically wrong because he is right, plus FSM promises a beer volcano which makes him omnicool too. FSM also says that Jesus is dead and spends his days at the stripper factory with Peter, and Mathew, and that you can stop believing that he was an actual God, b/c evidently FSM says that Jesus says it was a joke that got out of hand, and that he never thought that anyone would be dumb enough to believe in virgin births and celestial Jewish zombies that are their own fathers that impregnated their own mom with themselves. Jesus said that he and Paul reviewed before it was released in public and made sure that it was extra silly so as to not be taken seriously, FSM doesn’t mind, plus he’s all loving so its not like he’ll get mad or anything anyway.
Do you know why all of this is true?
Well because in first HOLYPASTABALLS letter to a heathen :”FSM is the one and only true master of the universe”
Do you understand why you are so incredibly wrong, and silly?
Well because in first HOLYPASTABALLS letter to a heathen it clearly states: “Jesus said that he and Paul reviewed before it was released in public and made sure that it was extra silly so as to not be taken seriously, FSM doesn’t mind…”
See you can have great fun with circular logic, and more so b/c as long as your not an idiot you realize that the use of circular logic is fallacious and doesn’t mean or prove anything, unless your debating with people on a short yellow bus no ones going to take you seriously.
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Are you a Jehova’s witness?
You seem to have both the guts to use Jehova’s name (which followers of the Christian Church don’t, I think) and the overwhelming urge to quote random paragraphs from the Bible with no valid justification whatsoever. Go and read Awake! or Watchtower xDD
RAmen
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*zorba puts his hhead in his hands and sighs*
First @Joseph Merrick:
Look up the word satire. We aren’t an organised religion, I’d say we are veri disorganized. Generally bagging of the actual religions doesn’t happen, just the PEOPLE who claim to follow it. Big distinction really.
@Joshua J.K.:
It’s 5 a.m. here and your holier than thou condecension is giving me a head ache so I’ll leave the others to truly put you straight. The difference between creationism and evolution is that evolution CAN be proven. Kind of knocks all your patter about faith into a cocked hat doesn’t it?
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@Joshua J. K.
“Evolution has faith in a Philosophy of Scientific Naturalism and in a Religion called Humanism”.
I have heard this argument before. But evolution doesn’t need humanism, only to have “faith” in the scientific method and logic.
There is still another problem with your argument; our “faith” in logic is…well…logic. It’s part of our experience, and has been usefull to predict the natural world. Your faith is as natural and the FSM, and is equal worthy to do predictions.
” For Christianity, faith is in the God of the Bible. For Humanists, faith is in their god – Man”
Agian, you are trying to see an equivalence were it doesn’t exists. Man is not omnipresent, omniscient and all-powerful. And we are real, not imaginary
“I find the FSM movement quite offensive and crude”. oh, well, no-one’s forcing you to see this web, are we?
“Tolerance, by definition is disagreeing yet co-existing. So that’s what I am – tolerant. That’s what the Bible teaches – tolerance. That’s what Christianity is – tolerant”. Co-existing? Tolerant? Are you kidding? I could remember you the crusades or the reason for wich the americans flied from europe! But also when Jesus expelled the farises from the temple “Mateus 9:11,34; 12:2,14,24,38; 15:1,12; 16:6-12; Lucas 11:37-44; 12:1″, he was not that tolerant
“but at least I can say I have a clean conscience” – so I’ll see you near a beer volcanoe!
–
@Joseph Merrick
“I love how you guys are so hateful and disrespectful to the religions of others, yet you actually expect people to show respect toward your “spaghetti monster” religion, which is an organized religion itself. I can’t say I follow the logic.”
I don’t think we are hateful to other religions, we aren’t bashing them.
And yeah, FSMism is an organized religion…and yes, we expect you all are going to see the Truth and respect and worship the FSM… and our next step is to invade Japan with a fleet of Pirate’s ships.
RAMEN
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@ Joshua J. K. your first paragraph is a blatant lie: Dawkins never said anything similar to that, on the contrary he always claims the contrary.
.
You may be very tolerant but by pretending that one needs “faith” not to believe you show that you are also very ignorant. Faith is believing in something despite the lack of evidence (or contrary to the evidence – some call it superstition). Science, evolution or humanism are based on evidence (or lack thereof) and this makes all the difference.
.
Please try to understand that some of us refuse your extremely limited way of thinking about the world.
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It’s nice to see that every once in a while we devout believers in the FSM are intellectually challenged and struggle to defend ourselves when faced with an argument so fluent and full of reason.
Personally I find myself utterly confused and unable to respond with any force of argument when faced with the gripping logic of circular reasoning. Well done, you are an outstanding example of the output of our education system.
I think therefore I yam.
RAmen
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@Joshua J.K.
.
First, thanks for hanging around here participating in this discussion, and doing it reasonably gramatically. (That seems to be all too rare around here.)
.
Now, you say, “Just some food four thought: It faith goes, so does anything that requires it. Theism goes but so does Atheism – both require faith: Theism has faith in God while Atheism has faith in the lack of God. ”
.
I cannot agree with you on this. “Faith” is believing in something, despite the lack of any hard evidence that it is true. This is precisely what atheists are refusing to do. This is not a matter of “we have faith there is no god”. This is more like: “until you show us some vaild evidence indicating the existence of a god, we have no reason to believe there is one, and we are perfectly happy living our lives without faith”. Atheism is not a religion, it is a LACK of religion.
.
There are lots of things I don’t belive in. Like the Tooth Fairy. I used to believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I grew out of it. I don’t need to have FAITH that “there is no Tooth Fairy”, I just figured out that what looked like magic was actually Mom. Now, I have no good evidence to believe in the Tooth Fairy, so I no longer do. If she actually showed up in my kid’s room some night in all her sparkly fairy glory, then I would reconsider.
.
On the other hand, I believe in my microwave oven. I believe that when I put a cup of tea in in, and I punch the button, the tea will get warm. This is not faith. This is something supported by the fact that it has warmed up my tea every morning since I bought it. Works every time. I have evidence that it’s real, so it is something I believe in.
.
I think a lot of atheists are like this too. We are, for the most part, open minded, much more than you might think. If there was good solid proof (not the assertions of some ancient book) for the real existence of a god who made the world and answers prayers, I think we might reconsider. If some god were to start actually granting prayers, we’d take notice. If you came to my house and prayed to your god that my tea would warm up, and it DID, I might rethink my position. (And if you could repeat that, several times, then you would really have my attention.) If you had a thousand believers pray that a soldier’s amputated leg would grow back, and it DID, you might convert somebody. But I’m not holding my breath. I have been watching for over 40 years now, and I have yet to see anthing that has convinced me.
.
I recommend this video on youtube, on “How to convert an atheist”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rqUsC2KsiI
(Be sure to also watch part two). I hope that you will watch it, and then come back and let me know your reaction to it. I don’t think there is anything there that would offend you, only a clear explanation of what evidence will and will not be convincing to a non-believer.
.
RAmen
.
p.s. There is one religion that I have possibly seen some concrete evidence for. The Invisible Pink Unicorn has blessed my laundry with her holy color, poked holes in my socks with her horn, and raptured worthy socks directly to sock heaven. Does this convince you? No?
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Well, with the beginning already, I kind of expected long citations of that crazy old book.
Glad to know I wasn’t disappointed.
It would be better if you could at least learn to check your spelling.
Nobody here cares about your religion, so please, spare us the boredom of it.
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Wow, you sure can quote rote scripture. You’ve been well indoctrinated. Have some spaghetti.
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So what if people worship pasta? It’s a damn fine food. Last time i checked Christianity was a peaceful and tolerant religon. I guess the nazi fascists like yourself are simply to bigoted to see this.
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That’s deep brother.
I’m glad to know that the Bibles for Convicts program is alive in strong, but hwen did you guys get such readily available computer access.
I think the current administration is investing in using inmates for “digital defense” against “religous extremists”.
Or maybe he’s just a part of Black Water’s online detachment.
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Science is based on observation, experimentation, data and analysis.
Religion is based on superstition, magic and fear.
Dogma rules, but you can get over it.
Would you care for cheese on your spaghetti?
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As a Christian, your response is embarrassing and immature. If you actually believe you can “win converts” this way, you are sadly mistaken. People like you are the reason that so many people “hate God.”
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What you need is a healthy dose of the rest of exodus, leviticus, deuteronomy, shall i go on? because there are around 600 laws that you are supposed to follow. so tell me, how many have you broken? one really good one is if you charged interest on a loan (this is something even the church openly does even though the bible says you’re not supposed to!) or perhaps you never gave your father lip? cause if you did either of these you were supposed to have been stoned. YAR AND RAMEN PRAISE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!
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This would all be very scary IF I believed any of the crap in that badly written 2000-year-old piece of junk. The only reason the faithful aren’t locked up in the asylum is because there are simply too many of them.
Do you have any idea how arrogant and small-minded it is to claim you are going to heaven and everyone on this site is going to hell? If you do believe in God, then leave that particular judgement to him. In fact, just enjoy your “God” and leave us alone to enjoy ours. I’ll seek you out in the afterlife and if there’s no beer-volcano, I’ll admit I was wrong.
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why does he tell us to take a look in exodus, if he’s then going to tell us all the important bits anyway.
Foolish Fundie, Foolish Foolish Fundie
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it also says we should kill and rape people. and steal ppls land. I think i like our spaghetti gods morals better
peace love and pirates
RAmen
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Isn’t one of the ten commandments thou shalt not kill, or something to that effect? Do you know what Christians did to demolish the pagan gods? It consisted mostly of killing all of the pagans. Sound kinda hypocritical to anyone?
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it’s funny how they can quote the hell outta this book to damn us but they forget about passages that tell them to accept others regardless, ‘love thy neighbor’, or something to that effect. ‘Judge not lest ye be judged’, is a favorite of mine. They’ll never understand how closeminded and ignorant they sound…it’s like we’re back in Europe around 1415 and some guy’s trying to say the world may not be flat…
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just a test
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what kind of person has nothing better to do but write something so boring and so long to people who dont even care
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-16yofc
16 years old and fkn crazy
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Did anyone actually read that whole thing? I didn’t even try to skim over it
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My child,
What if your “God” does not exist? What if I do? Ridiculous as I may sound, am I more ridiculous than a man who talks to a burning bush and under its command goes to set his people free? More ridiculous than the same man splitting a sea in two and living in the desert for 40 years, inventing matzoh, etc, etc? I think not. And if I exist and your God does not, does that give my people a right to kill you? I think not, and I also think your God is rather jealous. I am a tolerant, accepting being who allows my children to believe what they choose. There is no way to find out whether God or I exist, for you can not know whether I wrote this post or whether a mortal is impersonating me. As you may never know who is in the right, I suggest that you tolerate your fellow mortals’ beliefs and accept them as you are, though you may disagree.
Peace, Love, and Pirates to all!
RAmen,
FSM
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If you lived in Europe, you’d be living in an asylum, mate!
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Ok! You say that we must demolish our god!
let´s finish him with some garlic bread!
And some wine….
By the way, please read a book, mate. You ought to learn how to spell.
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Are you reasoning your hate (or your wish to crush us), or are you trying to convince us not to follow another god? If the former, then why are you telling us? If the latter, then quoting the bible, which it can be assumed that we do not agree with due to the fact that we do not believe in your god, extensively is not going to do much and may, in fact, hinder your efforts to convert us. Though I understand I have no jurisdiction over y’all’s choice of words, it would be nice you people would refrain from saying “y’all”, as it gives the logical members of the southern community a bad name.
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Why then were there other holy texts written also stating to merely believe in them? There are hundreds of other holy beings out there. And one thing that the Bible so foolishly messed up in the very beginning is when your god created light, BEFORE he created the Sun. Now how would that make sense? It doesn’t. Your “god” always claims to mix fabrics should cause you to be punished. Go ahead, fall into the Bible. Live your life by it’s every word – stone your children if they ever hit you. It’s fine, because the Bible said it was okay to do it.
It’s NOT okay. The Bible is rubbish.
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Once again, more Christians posting with horrible fucking spelling and punctuation. How do these people think we’re going to be able to read the things they post? They teach spelling and grammar in school so that you use it correctly. Anywho…
Numerous people have said it before me, but for some reason I feel the need to reiterate that nobody that is surfing this site gives a shit about Bible scripture. You could quote it for days, and nobody would read it. Here’s an idea for you though: Go back and re-read you Bible, and see if you can’t find any good moral teachings in it, say perhaps TOLERANCE!
The world is made up of many people of many colors, cultures, faiths, shapes, sizes, smells, and even hairstyles. If you can’t be tolerant of the people around you, maybe you should just off yourself, man. But have a nice heaping bowl of spaghetti and meatballs before you do. Maybe throw a little Romano cheese on top. You never know: It just might change your opinion of this “ridiculous” religion.
PIRATES ROCK!!!
RAmen
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So really it comes down to following what comes a few lines after that whole praise no other gods bit…
Exd 20:4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness [of any thing] that [is] in heaven above, or that [is] in the earth beneath, or that [is] in the water under the earth:
Exd 20:5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God [am] a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth [generation] of them that hate me;
So making a crusifix, with your savior who is supposidly in heaven, is bad mKay.
Praying to Jesus, who is not Jehova, that’s bad mKay.
Having a multitude of Saints who you can ask things from and for, well you get the point mKay.
Quoting scripture to those who don’t follow that book, but have a better one, waste of time
mKay!
RAmen
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1. Doesn’t it also say “Judge not lest ye be judged”?
2. What is it with fundies and the word ’spaghetti’? Do they get it wrong out of contempt or something? SPAGATTI? Wtf?
3. There is NO point 3
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Why do you people take the bait so readily? Has not life taught you that arguing the toss with the devout is akin to nailing jelly to a wall? It can be frustrating and annoying to enter into a conversation with people barely equipped to entertain the visualisation of a single mile let alone encompass the idea that a 4 thousand year old Hebrew soap opera might be simply that. The bible is a collection of scripts, written by normal everyday hermetic outcasts (”and they removed the tent pegs of Rasilon…..” – because someone literate, literally recorded the event of Rasilon moving camp – Wow!!!) and translated across centuries.
Don’t feed the fire – let ‘em absolve themselves of all personal responsibility and follow the dogma – remember – “Faith is a great consolation” – mind you, being hooked up to a pethadine drip would probably feel pretty good to.
“Most people would rather Die than think – in fact they do!”
- Bertrand Russel
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Lets not forget the purpose of our cause. The separation of Church and state. To do this we must maintain people on both sides of the line. Sure their are militant atheists and Christian Fundamentalists (among other groups), but we should always keep in mind that this organization is not against the average, sensible, reasonable religious/ nonreligious individual.
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These Christians write the most longwinded hate-mail
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Dude… you are looking at it the wrong way. What Exodus tells us does not matter because the only true god is FSM. That’s it.
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Bibles are good for nothing but toilet paper and fire starters ( and the occasional plate for food)
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i also like it how vain and jealouse jehova is ( or yaweh you can never tell with christians) and how he feels so insecure that he is the number one religion in the world so he has to crush any other gods or goddesses out there just so he can sleep and not worry about waking up to a bunch of pagan idol worshippers ( like me ). it tells us to demolish pagan gods so that mean we have to crush y’alls “SPAGATTI MONSTER” (that is so lame and retarded) how can you not spell spaghetti but you can spell retarded? and the y’alls really really really makes me happy to know that christians know how to speak in a civil manner rather than the hick,redneck,hill billy way of speaking. Lets not forget the worlds 1# dad GOD after all he sent his OWN SON down so he could die on a peice of plywood and be spat on and mocked by people who already hated the church ( and for a good reason after all look what their like today) HELL he did that to his OWN SON what makes you think he gives a damn about your worthless existence. I also like how you can’t write your own argument so you have to right down words in the bible word for word ( did you have to look at a book without pictures to accomplish something like that? how terrible for you ) also i seem to recall the pagan religions being around before Jehova and Yaweh….so god just moves in and starts beating the hell out of their followers? sounds like the peace loving, mercifull god we all know. lets not forget that he doesn’t do ANYTHING to help out the people who really need it but instead he says ” i help people who help themselves” oh so if i get myself up in the morning i automatically have to give credit to GOD? what an asshole taking credit for something he doesn’t even care about. and what about the starving people in africa? or the poor people all over the WORLD? doesn’t he give a crap about them? oh wait i forgot i help people who help themselves. SO YOU hear that starving people in africa go find yourself some food and then when you finnally do get some give me credit for it!
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i like how he can’t spell spaghetti even though its like right in front of him. and then he says FSM is lame and retarded.
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soooo i have this cool idea!
god create Lucifer, but he was evil and was send away and created the evil to annoy the ppl right?
so, if god is perfect, and knows everything, way did he created the devil???
hum?
huuuum?
God=Evil
not god
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“Take a look in exodus chapter 20 verse 3 -5 clearly states no to worshop any other God besides Jehova it also states in the same book chapter 23 verse 24″
WTF?? STFU D:
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So,
Becuase your holy books says that I’m wrong, I should believe what it says. Do you know what a circular argument is? Your last statement would be like me saying to believe in the Koran as correct, because the Koran says it’s right. And since none of the religions that I have ever seen, actually prove that they are correct, I see no reason to believe in them. So unless you can prove that those words are correct they will remain in my eyes, words. It’s just like how the U.N. is, unfortuately, usless organization, because it dosn’t actaully have any force behind it. (No offense U.N. but we really need you to get some clout).
-J.T.S.
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I find it hilarious for two reasons:
He puts all this effort into writing a long letter and does not even understand what we are all about, and
He somehow thinks that quoting lines from a book we don’t believe is true will concince us “God” is real.
And surely aren’t there better things to do with your time than worship an invisible man who lives in the sky?
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Blah Blah Blah Sin, Blah Blah, Jesus Christ, Blah.
Take a look in Genesis, namely Gen 19:6.
Lot was going to give his two daughters to the angry mob to do with as the mob wished, and your fucking God saved Lot from the distruction of Sodom? What the FUCK could the sodomites have done that was worse than what Lot was about to do? Tell me. Why would your god save this prick? Then his two daughters rape Lot and get pregnant by him and God doesn’t do shit about that? — But later in the bible when the good king sleeps with a Hittite tramp, god causes the child to suffer for seven days and then die?
What the FUCK is WRONG with this god of yours?
Take a look in your own book asshole, I wont because its messages sicken me.
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And so people try to conform our minority of intelligence.
Zach, I disagree. A plate is too high for the Bible.
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Just because your fictional book it says to destroy other people’s religion you feel you are right. If i make a holy book and i say to burn every other book that has the word “god” in it, does this mean i am right?
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“it tells us to demolish pagan gods so that mean we have to crush y’alls “SPAGATTI MONSTER” (that is so lame and retarded) and if you guys even want to enjoy peace in your life and know that you are going to heaven look up romans chapter 3 verse 23 it say for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god that means EVERY BODY SINS BUT GOD AND JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIOR”
Congrats on the worst written sentence of all time. Shall I proof this for you, Moron? Let start with “mean” – ah, ah, ah, verb needs to agree with noun. Minus 10 point. “we have to crush y’alls” – we will have to crush all of your. Minus 50 for fake word and wrong verb tense. “SPAGATTI” – misspelled. Minus 10. “Retarded” – this means reduced growth; incorrect usage (try moronic, idiotic, unintelligent – just like you); also not PC. Minus 25. Multiple instances of missing punctuation. Minus 1 billion. “romans” – needs to be capitalized. Minus 5. “say” – see “mean” above. Minus 10.
“EVERY BODY SINS BUT GOD AND JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIOR” – whew, great job with the number of mistakes in just a few words – “every body” – needs to be one word. “but” – needs to be except; wrong word usage. Need a comma after “sins” and “Christ.” Needs exclamation point after savior.
you were obviously home schooled and apparently dropped out after 1st grade. Nice job. Please DO NOT BREED.
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when did paganism mean any god that isn’t Christian? don’t EVER compare us to pagans, you asshat!
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I believe there was a man, not religious. An athiest. By the name of Kelly Jones, the lead singer of the band Stereophonics. He said
‘you can find yourself a god, believe in which one you want because they love you all the same they just go by different names’
bare that in mind next time you challenge someones faith you cunt!
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Guess who else has a Bible? We do!
Ramen.
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Yeah, but that Bible was wrong. Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is right. Know how I know? It was published more recently.
Experiment:
Get a physics book from 2000 years ago, and a physics book from last year.
Also get an astronomy book and a medical text from 2000 years ago and one of each from last year.
Now read all of these and compare accuracy. Which one’s right?
Now compare the Bible and the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pretty different, eh? Coincidence?! Maybe.
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Oy. Your Ctrl+V skills are mighty impressive, and by fettuccine, I think I read two words. Your mission to conversion is fulfilled, oh great pasting one.
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about the whole jehova thing, arnt you not ment to say the name of god?
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Frozen yogurt will turn you invisible. Its true. A book said it. It even has cool chapter titles and organizational system using numbers and colons. Thus, it must be taken as literal truth, and not a collection of fables assembled to turn a faith into a political and economic power by excluding any contradictory stories and killing all who challenge it.
What I am trying to say is, silly Christian, where’s yer proof? WE have it, thus making our religion far more legitimate than yours.
Peace
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And it is written in Harry Potter that magic is real, and in “The God Delusion” (where I heard about FSM) that there are no Gods. None of them.
I mean come ON, i wasn’t aware that intelligent design was so far behind with some people…
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You could have saved yourself much time and lack of pasta if you just typed your last sentence thusly:
.
“Oh no I am right oh no that this pasts frainism is a bunch of hungry fatbodys”
.
That makes about as much sense as anything else you said. Meatballs to you too!
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Just because a ~1800 year old book says something, it doesn’t mean that it’s true.
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Ok, I’m not following jahova, I’m still here, what’s he waiting for?
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Does he really think quoting something we don’t believe in will change our minds? And y’alls? Why must there be so many rednecks.
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‘Oh no’
Sad a 16 yo has his head filled with all these teachings of a false profit.
May he find himself touched by His noodly appendage
Ramen
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i think you may be onto something. if what you’ve posted checks out…..why, we may not actually believe in the bible……
what a mindfuck.
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Apparently this spaggati monster is a bad dude. Good thing the FSM is protecting us.
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So the argument here is to quote a bunch of stuff from a book that none of us lends credence to, and the orders of a god that none of us believes in.
Well, that sounds like the most soundest argument evar! Sold!
See, guy, much like you wouldn’t lend an ear to US preaching to YOU about the Gospel of the FSM, we really have no use for your stories and lore. See how that works?
Because you assert yours is true and right, doesn’t make it so. If a billion people say the sky is pink, doesn’t make the sky pink.
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Actually Eric……As far as pink goes – if enough people were raised such that the wavelength of light which we now associate with the color ‘blue’ were instead labeled ‘pink’ in an equally arbitrary fashion, then calling the sky pink _would_ make it pink.
Here we see the dangers in equating the label with the reality. Government and Churches are very good at symbol manipulation.
‘They’ aren’t like ‘us’. ‘They’ are ‘gay’, or ‘communists’ or ’sinners’ or what have you. Thats how you can train someone to step over another human’s bleeding corpse and not think twice. Self-hypnotize deeply enough and you will only see ‘the enemy’.
cheers
COM
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I agree with Plague Chicken. It’s very true, most only see black and white when it comes to religion, gender, sexual preference, system of government, etc. You see in color for a reason. Well, 2 reasons.
1. He willed it with his mighty noodly appendage, because I’m sure He thought seeing only black and white would be boring.
and
2. You ready? This is important. THERE ARE DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW.
When you see red, what do you feel? Anger? Happiness? Warmth? Those are 3 ways to feel about 1 color. Everything in this world has multiple ways to appear to people. There is no black and white for anything. And claiming that anyone who doesn’t follow your magic old book of holiness is doomed to torment eternal is pretty arrogant, especially when you use said magic old book of holiness to justify it, as well as your poor regional grammar.
Please, for your sake 16yofc, don’t claim you know what’s good for anyone other than yourself, or at best your children, because you don’t know. And fettuccine help us if you do have kids. Only He knows what you’ll corrupt them with, you bigoted self righteous douchebag.
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I agree with Plague Chicken. It’s very true, most only see black and white when it comes to religion, gender, sexual preference, system of government, etc. You see in color for a reason. Well, 2 reasons.
1. He willed it with his mighty noodly appendage, because I’m sure He thought seeing only black and white would be boring.
and
2. You ready? This is important. THERE ARE DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW.
When you see red, what do you feel? Anger? Happiness? Warmth? Those are 3 ways to feel about 1 color. Everything in this world has multiple ways to appear to people. There is no black and white for anything. And claiming that anyone who doesn’t follow your magic old book of holiness is doomed to torment eternal is pretty arrogant, especially when you use said magic old book of holiness to justify it, as well as your poor regional grammar.
Please, for your sake 16yofc, don’t claim you know what’s good for anyone other than yourself, or at best your children, because you don’t know. And fettuccine help us if you do have kids. Only He knows what you’ll corrupt them with, you bigoted self righteous douchebag.
Much pirate love to all,
Ugert Von Draken
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Actually, if we’re still going of early old testament, we’d be forced to ostricize all Rastafarians for their extensive handling of meatballs with parmasian cheese (as it might be made from the milk of the mother of that animal, IF all the meat of that animal is even clean to begin with.)
Still on the Exodus theme, I don’t think any of us are actually to be held accountable for our actions if they are indeed heathen… after all, anyone who is familiar with this book of the Bible is aware that “God” has the power to “harden [our] hearts,” essentially swaying our actions toward evil.
Also, your message didn’t necessarily seem directed at converting anyone so much as satisfying some Christian urge of yours to be right, yet I noticed that you used “God’s” name several times… would that constitue using his name in vain(Ex 20:7.)
And you published this note on a Saturday– aka the Sabbath. It’s pretty lengthy, and you’ve obviously done your research, making this work of sorts… looks like we have to stone you. Tough break, eh?
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I really believe that this is the epitome of the inbred human that it takes to brain wash in order to gain a following for something so far fetched that it can be spoon fed to the masses. Thank the FSM for natural selection (and Darwin). ” Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a year; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.”
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Read this posting, line 1 where it clearly states anyone who takes the bible literally is a fool! On line 2, I – oops! IT clearly states the FSM is heavenly delicious, and thou shalt have no pasta before him – OR before washing your hands.
Hey, 16yofc: Loved that quote of “For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. ” How true!!
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My fellow Pastafarians, take heed! This 16 year old “fc” (I suspect the c is for Christian, and I’ll leave it up to your imaginations what the f is for) has show us the light! He astutely typed passages from his Heavily Edited Book of Outdated, Ambiguous and Contradictory Fourth Hand Stories. Repent before it’s too late! Or not. Pass the garlic bread. R’Amen.
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Sorry to dissapoint you all but the guy seems unlikely to type that well. It looks like a cut and paster job to me. No point giving the dude credit where it isn’t due
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Why do you people quote the bible to us? We’re not gonna just say, “OMG you’re right. I’m converting to Christianity!” No. Doesn’t work.
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Raman 1:16-18
16And He laid His Noodly Appendage on the land and 17Lo there sprung midgets, and strippers, and all the animals and toppings 18And He saw that it was good, especially with a few beers
see it’s all there in my book too…
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Ugh, shut up. Nobody here cares about your bible verses.
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Hey, 16-year-old! Does it bother you that archeologists and historians are now convinced that the EXODUS NEVER HAPPENED? That large number of Jews were never in Egypt, they never wandered in the desert for a long time, and only one of the many battles they supposed won to take over their promised land has ANY physical evidence? You’re basing your tirade on fables. Then again, you’re a Christian. Go figure.
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