Take a look in exodus chapter 20 verse 3 -5 clearly states no to worshop any other God besides Jehova it also states in the same book chapter 23 verse 24. it tells us to demolish pagan gods so that mean we have to crush y’alls “SPAGATTI MONSTER” (that is so lame and retarded) and if you guys even want to enjoy peace in your life and know that you are going to heaven look up romans chapter 3 verse 23 it say for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god that means EVERY BODY SINS BUT GOD AND JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIORtake another look
Romans 5:6-21
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. 12 Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned– 13 for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. 14 Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come. 15 But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! 16 Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. 17 For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ. 18 Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. 19 For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous. 20 The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, 21 so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lordor how about this one
Romans 10:1-11
1 Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved. 2 For I can testify about them that they are zealous for God, but their zeal is not based on knowledge. 3 Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. 4 Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes. 5 Moses describes in this way the righteousness that is by the law: “The man who does these things will live by them.” 6 But the righteousness that is by faith says: “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down) 7 “or ‘Who will descend into the deep?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8 But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,” that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9 That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11 As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”there is more
Corinthians 3:11-15
11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. 14 If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15 If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.Oh no I am right oh no that this pasts frainism is a bunch of hungry fatbodys.
-16yofc
Wow….You just wasted so much of your life typing that up. If I only I had that much time on my hands…
Anyway. You realize that quoting lines from the BIBLE at people who know the Bible to be completely (if not just somewhat) fictitious is absolutely pointless…Just a waste of your own precious, mislead life.
These guys don’t realise that someone who worships another god isn’t bound by the OT. they are such idiots.
I also think I got the premier reply.
it was the other day when my friend told me a joke: A priest goes up North to a tribe of Eskimos and says “If you do not believe that Christ is your lord you will burn in Hell for eternity.” The Eskimo says “If i had never heard of Christ would i still burn in Hell?” The Priest said, “No… God is not cruel!” The Eskimo then said “Well then why did you tell me?!”
Christian try and “help” people who do not want to be help, and practically force their religion on people, while Pastafarians just let people decide for themselves. 16yofc is trying to use the Bible as PROOF we are going to Hell, but if we do not believe it is true, then how does it effect us? IT DOESN’T!
See the problem starts when…. well when you started speaking. You should just stop. Your bible is written by fat little boy penetrating priest. Actually that piece of shit book really just never makes much sense at all. Your quoting a crazy mans attempt to satisfy his curiousity. Your pretty crazy yourself sir, i wish his noodlyness would reach down and touch you, i feel ever so sorry that you’ll never get your stripper factory and beer volcanoe.
Quoting the bible as evidence that we shouldn’t worship OUR god, a book written 1500 years ago by a bunch of roman douche bags who worshipped a different god (named Mithra), who were trying to steal a religion in order to save Rome from tearing itself apart, as if that is “evidence” of something, to a bunch of people who don’t believe in what those roman douche bags had to say… interesting.
Please read page 78 of THE Gospel
1. I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious, holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness (you broke the first of the 8 i’d really rather you didn’ts).
listen… the bible is a very funny fairy tale, but I really wouldn’t quote the brothers grim as though you need to pay attention to every word as fact.
I honestly don’t care what the Jews wrote in exodus when THEY wrote the old testament, and I really don’t care what the Romans had to say when they wrote down their opinions of what the great Buddhist Jesus Christ had to say. All I will say, is that quoting something a evidence which has zero basis in reality or fact, and has been proven wrong on SOOOOO many fronts (earth is flat, earth is center of universe etc…), really doesn’t move intelligent people. However, I do realize from this post you have a hard time understanding how smart people think.
Dear 16yofc,
My holy book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, says otherwise.
.
I have read your book. You really should read mine. It makes much better sense and does not make you feel bad about being a human being. Why not give it a try? If you don’t feel the touch of His Noodly Appendage within 30 days, you can go back to your old ways. Guaranteed.
.
RAmen
“11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ”
Uhm… Buddha laid very similar foudations 2000 years before Christ. The whole, love each other, stop blindly worshipping gods and performing rituals you don’t understand, and have a personal relationship with your religion, don’t be all preachy, don’t be a greedy shit and screw up everyone else’s life being all preachy about stuff you don’t understand yourself…. that was the “real” Jesus’ message and it wasn’t an original idea or foundation for anything, it was the oldest prevalent concepts of organized human culture dating back to written documents that existed in China (older than your stupid bible claims the earth is), it was pretty much the purpose of the founders of every major religion (including FSM) have been trying to say. Jesus also didn’t “choose” to be crucified for you, the Romans sorta did that for him, and they did it because people were starting to listen to him, reducing the power the Romans had over their people (he was a revolutionist when it came to religion, and like bush, without fear people are hard to control, although Bush uses terrorism not god, but you get the idea). However when the romans decided to hijack the name Christ from the Christians to save Rome in 450ad, they basically had to have a noble reason for murdering their new messiah, and so, turned him into a self sacrificing marter which sort of makes sense…. so that quote from the Romans bible is a tad flawed, especially considering the entire book is nothing new… They simple went through the Mithra sun god’s “history” (their myth, which is very easy to find documents on since it was only 1500 years ago and tons of literature remains) and renamed their own god (Mithra) to “Jesus Christ” with pretty much a search and replace in Mithra’s story, and just retold Mithra’s myth and called it the new testament, the whole thing is a tad suspect to me..
Dear henderob. Your contributions are frequent and, in this particular case, very elaborate. It seems His Noodliness has been able to grab your attention. You will soon be touched by His Noodly Appendage (provided that you are willing to trade “TEMPORARY disappointment” in exchange for meaning in your life (the dissapointment will go away very fast as you realize that you have been fooled during all these years ))
“chapter 20 verse 3 -5 clearly states no to worship any other God besides Jehova” seems to me Jehova had very little self esteem, was insecure, and very much egocentric. Besides he may not have accepted His Noodliness or maybe he felt challenged by Him. Remember that FEAR is the best way to add more customers to your religion; very simple marketing.
We are so much perfect that a 30-day trial offer is included and in fact, we are more than willing to let you shop around for other gods. His Noodliness will not be offended. He knows that as soon as you open your eyes to reality you will come back! That is why our religion is so perfect… No fear included.
I was thinking of replying to every single point you mentioned but I have to go to lunch and hopefully fill myself with His Noodliness. Maybe later this week l might come back to you. In the mean time, I know that several of our members will be more than pleased to enlighten you.
One final point… You should really check your sources. You see, all that you have written comes from very thick pamphlets not much different from either the JC Penney Catalog or the communist propaganda of the 50s. Based on very simple observation and reason, one can completely reject your god and every single word written in his/her/its name. It just a scam!
I have always wondered why do you need to spend so much time trying to understand what your or other gods really wanted to say? Old Testament lessons, New Testament lessons, etc., come on! This is nonsense. Simple brainwashing! This should be evidence that whatever was written was a very big lie that require CIA, FBI, Mossad, Vatican experience to brainwash you and force you believe that all those written words can be somehow considered truth. Please think about it! Wasting so much time to try to understand someone else’s view of life because of a mental disorder does not make much sense to me. Remember, lies are very hard to sell. Also, as the lies grows, interpretations and explanations become more and more complex and inconsistent. (There is a Bernstain Bears Book about this right?)
On the other hand, our Gospel is written in very simple language, rated PG-13, and I assure you, no interpretations required, no batteries included… then again they are not needed.
Hm… How do I say this….
Well, let me start by saying (*SPOILER WARNING*) that no-one here actually believes in the FSM (SURPRISE!). This is a satirical spoof of modern religion…. Wow, I think that I just got a little bit dumber from having to explain that….
Ok. I used to be a Christian. I know all of the “evangelism tricks.” Seriously, when I went on missions trips, I had to sit through evangelism boot-camps. Back then, I almost knew what I know now, and that is that evangelism is only effective on people who WANT to believe something like that. Why? Because there is no solid evidence to present. You just stated your views about Christianity and what spawns from that faith. Instead of defending it with real proof, you defended it with the Bible. I stopped being a Christian when I stopped believing what I read in the Bible. NEWSFLASH: If someone doesn’t believe in Christianity, it is not very likely that they will believe in the Bible. Seriously, it is a book of fiction to us. No matter what it means to you, it means NOTHING to us. It is circular reasoning. “Christianity is true because it says that it is true!”
Ok, following that logic, Islam is also true. In fact, how do you know that Islam isn’t the true religion, and you are following a lie. That is the problem with these exclusive religions. Entry into one is often based upon what your parents believe, what you were brought up to believe, and what is prevalent in your area. People who were raised in an Islamic home will grow up to view Christianity as false, and vice-versa.
I know I didn’t explain this very well, and I could probably just keep going, but my time here is done.
If you have strong faith, please read The God Delusion (by Richard Dawkins). It is an excellent book.
What’s all this gibberish? It made my head hurt to attempt reading it.
Yeah, but take a look in the Gospel of the FSM. It clearly states that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is God. And we know that the Gosel of the FSM is the One True Word of the FSM. Therefore you should worship His Noodleness, not your silly zombie person.
What was that? I stopped paying attention after the first paragraph.
Er… yeah well done. Nothing like a well thought out and reasoned argument based on provable scientific fact or theory grounded in research and evidence is there.
Fucking nutter.
Ungh! You’re so boring and so very stupid!
A Scripture Battle!!!! I love it! Count me in…
.
Here is proof that the Creator, His Noodly Goodness, wants us to respect people of other faiths and foodstuffs:
.
THN:Tower of Scrapple
“Like Noah, his sons were real entrepreneurs, and they did spread out - Ham went to the southern nations and started the Hamites; Cheese went to the central nations and started the Cheese-Its; and Omel journeyed northward to start the Omelets. There they did establish family diners to supply the locals with foodstuffs.”
Im pretty sure his name stands for “16 years old, of course”
Maybe not in body, but that’s probably about the level their intelligence is at.
Let me start by saying (*SPOILER WARNING*) that no-one here actually believes in the FSM (SURPRISE!). This is a satirical spoof of modern religion…. Wow, I think that I just got a little bit dumber from having to explain that….
Ok. I used to be a Christian. I know all of the “evangelism tricks.” Seriously, when I went on missions trips, I had to sit through evangelism boot-camps. Back then, I almost knew what I know now, and that is that evangelism is only effective on people who WANT to believe something like that. Why? Because there is no solid evidence to present. You just stated your views about Christianity and what spawns from that faith. Instead of defending it with real proof, you defended it with the Bible. I stopped being a Christian when I stopped believing what I read in the Bible. NEWSFLASH: If someone doesn’t believe in Christianity, it is not very likely that they will believe in the Bible. Seriously, it is a book of fiction to us. No matter what it means to you, it means NOTHING to us. It is circular reasoning. “Christianity is true because it says that it is true!”
Ok, following that logic, Islam is also true. In fact, how do you know that Islam isn’t the true religion, and you are following a lie. That is the problem with these exclusive religions. Entry into one is often based upon what your parents believe, what you were brought up to believe, and what is prevalent in your area. People who were raised in an Islamic home will often grow up to view Christianity as false, and vice-versa.
Hm… How do I say this….
Well, let me start by saying (*SPOILER WARNING*) that no-one here actually believes in the FSM (SURPRISE!). This is a satirical spoof of modern religion…. Wow, I think that I just got a little bit dumber from having to explain that….
Ok. I used to be a Christian. I know all of the “evangelism tricks.” Seriously, when I went on missions trips, I had to sit through evangelism boot-camps. Back then, I almost knew what I know now, and that is that evangelism is only effective on people who WANT to believe something like that. Why? Because there is no solid evidence to present. You just stated your views about Christianity and what spawns from that faith. Instead of defending it with real proof, you defended it with the Bible. I stopped being a Christian when I stopped believing what I read in the Bible. NEWSFLASH: If someone doesn’t believe in Christianity, it is not very likely that they will believe in the Bible. Seriously, it is a book of fiction to us. No matter what it means to you, it means NOTHING to us. It is circular reasoning. “Christianity is true because it says that it is true!”
If you have strong faith, please read The God Delusion (by Richard Dawkins). It is an excellent book.
What…the…hell…
I’m not sure if this is even qualified as a hate mail.
*sigh*, more bible quoting. When will they learn?
Ah well, at least he/she/it had the decency to call Jesus “my” lord and saviour, and not “our”. That’s something I suppose.
Oh, so you can use something illogical to prove something that is illogical? Capital! I also commend you for your ability to copy and paste. In my personal archive of Jesus’s teachings, Jesus preached about the joys of flying pasta. But the manuscripts are invisible, so only I can read them. Prove me wrong.
So like, how can we argue against you if you assume everything in the bible is correct?
If you can blindly assume that your holy book is correct, than I have the right to believe everything in my holy book is correct. Otherwise, I’m going against the will of God! Don’t want that, right?
Holy fuck. God DAMN (yes, I dare to blaspheme) that was boring as hell. Decided to quit reading after the first paragraph because I knew all it was gonna be was scripture. If I wanted to be bothered with reading your lame ass old book I would. Don’t presume that because I don’t believe in your imaginary friend that you should be forced to tell me what you think I should hear. I’m in a pissy mood right now and I don’t need some christian dipshit telling me what I need to believe.
Sorry for the rant my fellow Pastafarians, but it’s raining out and I just woke up.
~Mariner
You give us what the Bible says, but don’t give us a convincing reason to believe it’s real? Typical. Anyway…
Jesus did say you should convert other people to Christianity. But I don’t think Jesus ever said you should disrespect and hate others for not believing in your religion. Honestly, I don’t remember a single church that taught Christianity the way you teach it.
I learned from Church to love my enemies, and try to understand their standpoint. Haven’t you?
Great, another twit quoting bible-verses at me to prove the bible is true. Other religions also have holy books little boy (16 right?), they also say they are the one true faith/book, doesn’t prove a thing.
really now, quoting the bible? a sacred book to really only Jews and Christians. Besides, who’s to say that Jehova, the one true god is not the same as the FSM and all the other mono theistic deities? The Christian bible is, here mostly irrelevant. I’m not going to try to bash you for your faith, though. But, please, practice your own faith and leave ours alone.
May he touch you with his noodly appendage
RAmen
Wow. Unsubstantiated “proof” of a non existent being!
Since it was written down then it must be so.
All Xians are retards.
Behold, the new gospel. All Xians are retards. You read it here, so it must be so.
Jesus who?
Please, my noodly Lord, grant all humans the ability to understand satire, even the ones who don’t believe you exist. By the way 16yofc, using the Bible as proof of your Gods existance or as proof against the noodly One’s existence doesn’t work. That type of argument is called circular reasoning.
May you be touched by His noodly appendage,
Spartan
Or, how about YOU look in the dictionary, under Satire.
Ahuh.
Yeah, I’d feel silly too.
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen.
Dear lamo 16 year old for Christ:
I want you to know that we are all living iniquitous lives so that we can call the wrath of god down on all our heads–including and especially yours. It’s kinda like the guy who wears the t-shirt that says
“I know violence ins’t the answer, I got it wrong on purpose.”
We’re just living our lives of sin on purpose so we can have the sheer shadenfreude (look it up) of seeing people like yourself screaming in terror and agony when the almighty rains flaming sulphuruos death down on righteous and wicked alike-just as he did so many times in the Old Testament.
Know what? There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s a free country, and people like myself will use our constitutional freedoms to mock and piss off your god. Since you are unable to stop us, your god will punish you every bit as much if not more than he punishes people like me.
Enjoy what little time you have left.
RAMEN
Why are so many people seriously thinking we would abandon our holy FSM because the bible tells us to do so?
Hi 16yofc! Here’s a couple of dollars, go buy yourself a couple of original ideas! =^_^=
What is a Spagatti Monster?
“his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man’s work. 14 If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. 15 If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.”
-What if what we built survives and what you build doesn’t?
And you wasted all that time on some superstitious belief of yours that is, let’s be honest, about as likely to be accurate as the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Good job!
Another clown who can’t understand a spoof.
Get a life dude.
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com
Just how many times do we need to point out that the bible is not proof of itself?
.
And we are not hungry. He ensures all pirates and wenches have bellies full of pasta and grog. I doubt anyone ever got full on a jebus cookie (or enjoyed it if they did).
Please stop vomiting forth Bible verses trying to disproof the FSM. You have NO proof those Bible verses are true, and not just some drunk in the corner writing down whatever comes into his alcohol-soaked brain.
But in our Gospel, it says that those who believe in Him shall go to a heaven full of beer volcanoes and a stripper factory.
Shall we duel books about invisible deities? It’s like Dueling Banjos, but less redneck and more… ecclesiastical.
Why doesn’t anyone in this bible thingy write more clearly?
What a vain and self centered bastard your carpenter was. Not is. Was. Worm food. Deceased.
What vanity, what self indulgent bullshit. To imagine that anyone would care that he died for our sakes? For Christ’s Sake! And they made him a God.
And what exactly are those quotes from a compilation of ancient fairytales supposed to prove?
I don’t believe, however, that Exodus has anything to say about being required to misspell the names of those nasty pagan gods.
you can quote the bible all you want but all your argument really boils down to is…”because the bible said so.” which isn’t really an intellectual debate. neither is calling us hungry fatbodys. F for originality. A for time invested.
“all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of god that means EVERY BODY SINS BUT GOD AND JESUS CHRIST MY LORD AND SAVIOR”
That’s total bullshit. It means that they are impervious to the effects of sinning. God has sinned several million times.
Damn God can’t even follow his own fucking rules. What a dickhead.
tl;dr
well, that might be convincing - IF i believed in the bible!
but the gospel of the flying spaghetti monster and other holy books say something different!
plus the first commandment says you shall not have any gods BEFORE me - it does NOT say no gods other than/beside/except me. so if you’re a jew or christian, you can believe and have other gods, you’re just suppose to put yhwh/yahweh/jehovah first.
LOL!
Wow.
I looked up Jebus in the phone book. He is a Mexican Gardner. Why should I worship him?
oh,oh,oh! Judge not lest ye be judged! Oh,oh,oh love thy neighbor as thy self! Why don’t Christians ever follow those two? Can ya’ll tell me whats a pasts frainism is? I reckon I cain’t figure it out.
fatbody…..?
Have you ever noticed how rabid Christians can’t spell? Do you think it’s the emotion of the moment perhaps that robs of this ability?
Just curious!
hmm a fundie trying to disprove me by pointing out verses of a bible that I believe to be fiction
logical
Wow! 16yofc sure took a lot of time writing that e-mail. Its people like him/her that make Pastafarianism so appealing. Talk about ignorant!
Dear “16yofc,”
Hey, what vesion are you using? Depending on the version you use, this could all just be a “load of tripe.” Most versions of any religous book, for that matter, have been edited by kings and such so that people must follow their ruling…I mean, look at King James! Of course, wedon’t have to worry about that kind of stuff in our church, now do we?
Besides, shouldn’t you be going after some other religion, with your silly holy war you are declaring?
Yours truly, bbbrrr_the_shivering_pirate, a.k.a. Nerdicus
P.S. Why did I say load of tripe?
Thanks, dude… without you I wouldn’t have gotten my proper dose of raving lunatic today! PS: You’re special ;-D
Ok, all i got from this, was that some people think quoting the bible is going to convert us, NEWSFLASH - telling us something we already don’t believe, isn’t going to convince us that you’re right, just that your an idiot. The entire purpose of this post, was to attack us, because your deity is not tolerent, unlike the gracious FSM, may you be touched by his noodly appendages. RAmen.
Dear “16yofc,”
Hey, what version are you using? You do know that most versions have been edited and changed, and basically have become unreliable as any kind of book or doctrine or proof…I mean, Kings and noblemen used to change all kinds of religous books regularly-I mean, look at King James!
And besides, don’t you have some other religion to persecute, or declare a “Holy War” upon?
Yours truly, bbbrrrr_the_Shivering_Pirate, a.k.a Nerdicus
Wow, that was pretty wasted work, looking up all those verses
All this assumes that we actually believe what your bible says. And we don’t.
Quoting from the Bible doesn’t make it any more real then quoting from the Gospel. Since Jews don’t believe in the New testament and do not believe Jesus was the messiah they would disagree with you.
1.”every body” is everybody , typical of a Christian whack job to make that mistake.
2. It is Spaghetti not “SPAGATTI” you moron! Which means anything else you wrote is a bunch of crap and has no merit.
3. Christianity was a Pagan religion when it first began. Ask the Jews and the Romans.
4. Calling us lame and retarded is not Christ like and you are violating your own religious principles.
For all you cutting and pasting you have no argument and only show that you are an uneducated fool that based on your grammar lives in the bible belt and probably lives in a trailer park.
Oh yeah, ever hear of satire? Guess not otherwise you would not have wasted time putting in quotes from the bible.
Get a life and go back to school.
For us to be “terrified” or at least religiously give a care, we would have to be religious or believe in your bible to begin with.
Bible Verses! I’m convinced now, 16yoilliterate.
Boring! How about you explain how everyone (me included) has the belief that they are right. Unless we are in parallel universes, (not a high chance of being likely). Thing is, how do you know you are “right”? Technically I can fly, I believe it, I have total faith in it. Is it true? Technically yes, in several cases:
1. When I am aboard an aircraft that is flying.
2. When I imagine that I am flying (following your logic, I believe therefore it must be true).
3. When I read Peter Pan, because it’s a book, and therefore must be true.
Also, as a point of civility, if you insist on bashing someone’s beliefs, please learn proper grammar.
Thank you!
Wow. Don’t you just love original thought?
Dude… chill out.
Here, have some baked ziti with seitan.
RAmen
I dunno. You god uses a lot of numbers in his sacred passages. What was that, like one per sentence? Seems kinda sciency to me….
Here’s the thing, man. We’d have to believe in your “bible” first.
Blah, blah, blah… why don’t you have somehting as our I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts. Why do you always have to attack other people because they don’t share your beliefs. WHY? Your bible quotes my have as well the same effect as if you were quoting a Spiderman comic book. Don’t assume your truth is universal. Live in peace with others, that’s what our beloved FSM would want us to.
But, by y’all’s logic, the FSM must be true, cos it says so right here in this book of mine. Y’all needs ta get on down to y’all’s bookshop & get a copy. The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster holds the truth, and if y’all disregards it, then y’all will suffer an eternity of stale, warm beer; mouldy pasta; & middle-aged, worn-out strippers dressed in old lingerie from the bargain bin at the city mission thrift shop.
.
And, like I said, it’s gotta be true cos it says so right here in this book of mine.
.
Saint John the Blasphemist
Saint of 2nd Hand Shops
Well what if you’re wrong and we’re wrong. Our book is written by His Noodlyness, and is indisputable law.
So, to sum up your entire letter. “The bible is right because it says so in the bible”.
Wow! I mean, just … WOW!
This is the kind of non-thinking that must be fought. For a 16yo fanatical Christian (fc?) to submit such a verbose email on His Noddliness is simply further evidence that His Message is not being spread far enough and without sufficient force.
His way is not The way. His way is not the Best way. His way is A way (and a darned good way, too), and that is what needs to be brought before the masses. If I win my council election this April, I promise to perform the first City Council Invocation as a blessing from Him.
Together in Pasta,
RAmen.
It’s in a book so it must be true, eh?
So I guess that means that the FSM is real and that YOU are wrong. I’ll be enjoying my stripper factory and beer volcano, yarrr.
Have you even read the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Its just as credible and a much shorter and happier read. But I do have a favorite passage from the bible to return back at you from the lord of love:
psalm 137:9
How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones against the rock
Sexy huh? Nothing quite as compassionate as baby killing…
Is “Wow” a suitable response to this… this?
errrrr IDiot
Wow! Your powers of copying and pasting are amazing! I am truly converted to Christianity!
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This only shows just how insecure your god is, and how he can’t accept that not everyone worships him. It also shows how insecure YOU are by saying we need to be “crushed.” Why don’t you go and crush all the other religions while your at it? You know, KILL MILLIONS IN THE NAME OF YOUR GOD? Sound familiar eh?
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Give me proof of god, and give me proof that he will actually send us to a place of eternal fire because he’s so insecure, and give me proof that he wrote those phrases and not some guy on ecstasy.
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Lastly, “a bunch of hungry fatbodys”?? What’s that for? Ah yes, a Christian says we need to do this or we’ll burn in hell, quotes from his almighty ecstasy book, and then insults us.
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Good job.
…why do Christians hate English syntax so much?
let me answer those quotes with qoutes of my own
south park episode 1,2,3,4,5 etc.
kyle & stan:
you bastards
its clear your a bastard, because I qouted something, right?
I couldn’t get past the first couple lines without thinking of pasta. The Noodly logic used here is surely evidence of our great pasta savior.
RAmen.
Eeeeuw…we’re being bible versed again!
Shoo…..go on shoo
16yofc,
We can point to passages in our Holy Book that say the FSM is the creator of the world. What makes your Bible more correct than ours? I can only hope one day you will come to worship his noodliness. Until then, I pray you are touched by his noodly appendage. RAmen.
We don’t believe what the bible says.
Okay your turn now.
I’m overthrown by skriptures, I surrender :) No, I’m joking :)
Why does every whacko think, that if he knew his fantasy book by hard, its convicning?
I know many people who know LOTR by hard, does that make it true?
Well, if a book says, its the only true word of god, why not, right? :D lol
Also, here in the heart of europe, posibly one of the most atheistic countries, there is no need for pastafarianism, which makes me sad and happy at the same time :)
Ramen from Brno :)
Okay… I have to admit, I gave up on reading this at “y’alls” but whoever wrote this must be high on something… honestly. Quoting pieces from the Bible to non-Christians… when will they learn?
“But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” - Jesus of Nazareth, as recorded in Matthew 5:44
I cant find anywhere in your bible that says to force your beliefs on others.
why do you follow a book that contradicts itself?
first you say that Jesus died to forgive our sins……later says that god will send the sinners to hell.
Then , why god let Jesus die in the cross?
It is easy…the bible is bullshit.
God you’re an idiot…
*woooooooosh*
Oh I see. Now that the might of random scriptures has blinded me, I wil worship God.
RAmen
Why should I heed the words of a god I DON’T WORSHIP! Jeez Louise! And yes, I do actually say Jeez Louise in real life. As well as Fudgeums.
So that person’s proof that his religion is the right religion is because his religion says so. That’s really twisted logic.
I won’t be the first to point this little gem out, probably, but if we don’t even believe in the Bible, why should we care what it says?
Your gospel is false, ours is the one true gospel; you just wasted your time.
Eh. Seems like a manufactured spoof. Sorry, I don’t buy this one as genuine.
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-OEJ
“Take a look in exodus chapter 20 verse 3 -5 clearly states no to worshop any other God ”
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Pure advertising in a world of competition - what would you expect it to say? The book of Pepsi tells us “Thou shalt have no other Cola but me”, but I still drink Coke from time to time.
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16 is no where near old enough to make an informed decision on such an important question - give it a couple of years before picking this particular brand of unreason.
And somehow a book written thousands of years ago at a time when people still believed the world was flat is proof that will change my mind? Wow! Your arrogance knows no bounds.
Well, I guess that settles the issue.
“it tells us to demolish pagan gods so that mean we have to crush y’alls ‘SPAGATTI MONSTER’ (that is so lame and retarded)”. You call pastafarianisms and their god retarded, but then you can’t even spell spaghetti right?
www.freewebs.com/awsumnessanity
Well at least you bothered to actually find the proper passages as opposed to saying ‘my mom said they’re in there’. Good job with that. But, explain please how you know that the Bible is true over our Gospel? You’ll probably tell me that our Gospel was written by man, but newsflash, Bible was written by people too. And translated a zillion times, which means it’s probably deviated from the original a significant margin. People inspired by God wrote it? Methinks Bobby was inspired by the FSM too.
They have nothing over each other, and that’s the point. May he honor you with his noodly appendage. rAmen.
Thanks for the info.
Bible quoters scare me though, so sorry, I can not date you at the moment. Bye.
We Pastafarians have written proof, too! It is called The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Read it and learn! Unlike pre-pubescent fundy, I will summize:
beer
pirates
@16yofc
this post is made with one assumtion: the bible is true
sadly enough(for you), it isn’t
luckily for you pastafarians are non-violent people who only use persuation as means of converting people. You will therefore recieve little more than insults from our part.
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If I may point out that there are a lot of people who are a lot more violent that fall into that pagan category of yours. I suggest you stop being narrowminded or atleast stop being narrowminded in public/semi-public.
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As said, this is sad, but atleast this reminds people how relegious conflicts are created.
Yaaawwwwwn!!!!!!
2 things.
Number one: I guess it is pretty obvious to see that the man is too stupid to understand our great religion.
He can’t even spell spaghetti correctly “Spagatti”,
And number two: Do some people find it completely impossible to respect something they don’t believe in? I think Christianity is wrong but I don’t going around saying Christianity must be wiped out. Although I don’t think this guy deserves to get to our beer volcanoes and stripper factories.
“pasts frainism”? do you mean Pastafarianism?
“SPAGATTI MONSTER” ? Do you mean Spaghetti Monster?
Why are you people all illiterate?
Hey, I know a book that says that Frodo had to take a ring to Mordor; just because it’s in a book does that mean it’s true? I don’t care what your bible says!
What’s a ‘hungry fatbody’? am i missing something?
I notice that Corinthians 3:11-15 says nothing about Pirate Ships
Maybe he should read a REAL science textbook, hmm?
I was so disappointed. I was hoping to see a reference to The Noodly One in Exodus but instead just another tedious fundy ranting.
Cute, a christian hate-monger.
Since you, 16yofc, cited Exodus 20:3-5 and called God, Jehova, I am assuming you are Jehova’s Witness. What is in a name anyway. What difference is it if I call the supreme ruler of life and the universe Jehova , Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Bob? You blindly follow the teachings of your watchtower society and never question anything. I feel really sorry for you. Let me know when the next end of days is so I can go to all of your JW friends an buy their property cheap. Next time you go to your bible study, ask some questions. Who wrote the Bible? Who edited the Bible, Who translated the Bible? What makes the bible any different than the Holy Koran, Mother Goose, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, or the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Why is Chuck Taze Russel’s “New World Translation” better than King James, Martin Lutheran, or Thomas Jefferson’s versions? Hold on, Jehova is calling me on my cell, he is giving me some divine inspiration. Watch for my testament in a holy book near you…
And because someone took the time to write it down, it must be true. QED
Quoting Bible passages is about as meaningless as singing Waltzing Matilda… less in fact.
Oh dear, oh dear.
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Here’s another xtian who comes into our church and quotes their book at us. As if that is going to change anybody’s mind. If we went into their church and read our book at them, they would be outraged.
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Tempting to try it sometime. But, alas, I have manners, so I won’t.
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RAmen
Umm… whats your point?
Throwing scripture at people who don’t believe in it? do you really expect people to take you seriously? there is really no point in telling people who don’t believe in hell, that they’re going to be spending eternity there…
and exodus, or romans or Corinthians for that matter, can say whatever they like, it don’t make it true. you cant prove anything through scripture until you prove that the scripture it true. can you do that? Can you prove that god exists and that he wrote your holy book? please don’t try and prove that by quoting more scripture… spare us.
i get so frustrated i want to scream…
CARBONARRAAAAHH!!
First, let me point out that you are quoting a fictional book written by men. Consequently this causes your quotes to be meaningless. If you were to say this book is not fiction, I would ask you to prove it.
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The best way to convince someone that the bible is a bunch of unholy crap is to make them read it. Anyone with half a brain will realize that it is a bunch of fairy tales.
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Aside from my arguments above, allow me to indulge in this quoting game.
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Deuteronomy 20:10
“When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim peace unto it. And it shall be, if it make thee answer of peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be, that all the people that is found therein shall be tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee. And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it. And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword. But the WOMAN, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.”
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The woman? I wonder what was done with those women? There are translations of this passage where the word women is replaced with the word virgin. How old would a virgin be in this time period? 15? 16? Would these “women” want to be with these men that have taken them from their homes? I’m sure the word rape could sum up my point here.
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Deuteronomy 22:28
“If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.”
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REEEEAAALLY? So I can just go find a virgin, have my way with her, and if I get caught my punishment is to give her father 50 pieces of silver and marry her? Well I could probably find quite a few federal prison inmates that would love a principle like this… Lucky most humans are not stupid and we put people like this in jail
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I have one last quote. Is not from the Christian bible, but sounds like it belongs with it. It is scary how similar the quran and the bible are so similar.
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“Remember thy Lord inspired the angels (with the message): “I am with you: give firmness to the Believers: I will instil terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers: smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them.”
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Anyway, my point with all this quoting is your god makes Hitler look like a pretty cool guy. I would worship a Flying Spaghetti monster, hell I would worship a doorknob before I took the bible to be the word of an all loving all caring god.
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Your quotes mean nothing. I was a Christian when I was very young, then I read the bible, then I wasn’t a Christian. It’s as simple as that.
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RAmen
Blah, blah, blah, a few quotes does not evidence make. Face it; we are all just guessing here. At least mine is an educated guess!
I know all these words but I can’t parse this. Can someone translate it into American for me please?
“Oh no I am right oh no that this pasts frainism is a bunch of hungry fatbodys.”
Especially that. I don’t even know where to start….
Also, is there not a “Thou shalt not kill” thing somewhere in the bible? Although ironically, all this has proved that there are other gods out there besides the christian one. There god said so himself.
I want proof other than the Bible that Chistianit is THE religion. Keep in mind many other relgions make just as compelling an arguement and are older and more historicaly accurate. So, prove it.
Take your time, I don’t expect a reply. Dogma excludes the use of rational thought, and it seems all you know about is the Dogma. Shame you don’t use that brain your God suposesly gave you.