The FSM has recently revealed Himself in an Israeli high school through a painting depicting the pre-creation state of the universe as portrayed in Genesis 1:2.
The high school students were given the assignment of creating an artistic work related to one of the stories from the Book of Genesis. A couple of students chose to paint their interpretation of the appearance of the universe before the biblical Creation (or, as literally translated from Hebrew, “chaos”). The noodly Lord was easily spotted in the painting only after it was hanged on the corridor wall. The work’s creators claim that the painting did not originally include the FSM:
“We didn’t paint Him, I swear. I have no idea how He got there,” one of them says.
This divine act of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has made many students recognize His existence, and many have converted to Pastafarianism. Some of the recently converted Pastafarians even believe that Israel is in fact the Holy Land of Pastafarianism, and they are already contemplating methods to eliminate the all Jews, Muslims and Christians in Israel who won’t agree to convert.
The FSM’s message is obvious. For many years the state of Israel has forced the Jewish religion and its studies upon Israeli students of Jewish descent by making it a compulsory subject for receiving a matriculation certificate. The school system in Israel starts teaching students the concepts of the Old Testament when they are very young and innocent, and every student must continue studying these religious stories, regardless of his beliefs. The Holy FSM, clearly, just wishes for Israeli students to be taught the true religion, Pastafarianism.
May we all be touched by His noodly appendage,
RAmen.
Submitted by Incognito.
This divine act of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has made many students recognize His existence, and many have converted to Pastafarianism. Some of the recently converted Pastafarians even believe that Israel is in fact the Holy Land of Pastafarianism, and they are already contemplating methods to eliminate the all Jews, Muslims and Christians in Israel who won’t agree to convert.
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Please, first buy the gospel and read the 8 I’d-really-rather-you-didn’ts. Elimination of non-believers is not what the FSM would want! Offer them some good pasta instead.
I find your tongue firmly in cheek outlook encouraging.
As long as you don’t resort to violence. Let everyone see the truth of His Noodly Appendages for themselves.
The fact that His Noodliness has been spotted in Israel is indeed a positive development, however…
“Some of the recently converted Pastafarians even believe that Israel is in fact the Holy Land of Pastafarianism, and they are already contemplating methods to eliminate the all Jews, Muslims and Christians in Israel who won’t agree to convert.”
Please, let’s not follow this path. There is no need for a Pasta-Inquisition or Noodly Crusade. This is exactly the kind of behavior that religious fundamentalist nut-cases around the world advocate. This is the sort of thing that leads to religious extremism and repression, which is not what the FSM is all about. May his noodly appendage bring peace to the Middle East with its touch.
RAmen
WHOAH! Please refrain from eliminating the non- and/or other-believers. Pastafarianism is a peaceful system, more akin to Jainism than those others you mentioned, and as such, opposed to the sort of Ausrotten you seem to be advocating. Please pick up a copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and become one with our noodly master. Oh, and welcome.
“[…] Israel is in fact the Holy Land of Pastafarianism, and they are already contemplating methods to eliminate the all Jews, Muslims and Christians in Israel who won’t agree to convert.”
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Wrong, very wrong. What happened to the tolerance that pastafarians have prided themselves on for centuries past?
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Splinter Groups
Miraculous indeed! I’m not so sure however, that His Noodeliness would want Israel to be occupied soley by Pastafarians. First, it would be a mighty small population since so few of us have seen the light and would want to move there. Second, I would think the FSM would rather pick someplace like Jamaica or Hawaii for a homeland.
The Holy City of Pastafarianism can’t be Jeruzalem. It’s Bologna, so obvious!
woah, so many didn’t get the loke.
I like this. I like this a lot. But for the ones trying to convert others, forceful converting is just wrong. Please remain tolerant. Let the love seep through, not the hate to overwhelm.
With that line the guy’s obviously just trying to show how bad religion sucks and how it will always lead to violence.
No! No! It isn’t “Pasta-Inquisition”; it would be “Pastaquisition”. Involving “sauce boarding”, “noodling” (don’t ask). and “noodle flogging”. Some of which I would find sexually stimulating but that’s probably just me.
I love how he was found there, but lets avoid the violence, shall we?
We don’t need any more faith-based deaths.
RAmen.
The truth is all around us!
Another spotting!
http://www.315aw.afrc.af.mil/shared/media/photodb/photos/060516-F-9712C-456.JPG
Well, the FSM does reveal Himself in strange and mysterious ways. It is obvious He wanted to show us that He was present at the beginning of the world and that He still remains present in the world today. We should turn to Him as a force of peace in a land so rocked by continuous and ever-present religious violence. If the jews that hate the muslims and the muslims that hate the jews would all turn to their beliefs to the FSM and be blessed by his noodly appendage then maybe they’d stop killing eachother and find peace. Ramen to that brothers and sisters.
Peace me hearties! let’s not eliminate anybody, a little grog and plliging is more that sufficient
RAmen
oops, “pillaging”.
Must get ny spelling right, don’t want to be mistaken for a christian!
omg, it is a miracle. Can’t you all see that this is the sign for pastafarians the world over to join in a single glorious campaign to destroy that world wide cult they cll christianity, which help our species back for 1500 year! Viva la FSM!!! RAmen!!!
I thought the Holy City of Pastafarianism was somewhere in Italy, where they make fine spaghetti and meatballs.
Anyway, what I want to say is that while it can be argued that the image on the grilled cheese sandwich may or not be Jesus, or the salt stains under a bridge may or may not be the Virgin Mary, there can be no doubt whatsoever that the image that appears in this painting is indeed the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
This is a clear image, not so much a matter of interpretation as it is an actual representation.
You have to forgive the people of Israel for thinking it means that they have to fight against all others who do not share their beliefs, as this is what they have been conditioned to believe.
That His Noodley Goodness has chosen to appear to these people clearly suggests that He has come to bring peace to a land that has always been home to religious warfare.
Thank you, my fellow Pastafarians, for correcting this misinterpretation of His holy visage.
Peace be with you!
In the name of the pasta, and of the sauce, and of the holy meatballs,
Ramen
Consistent with other posts, non-violence and tolerance are clearly the way to go. Perhaps Pastafarianism can be catapulted onto the World Stage by catalyzing peace and harmony in Israel/Gaza/West Bank. Do we have pastafazoola missiles ready to launch from pirate ships in the Persian Gulf or in the eastern Mediterranean????
to beautiful for words…
RAmen
Whoa, who said anything about elimination, if they don’t want to convert let them believe what they want, they can still get into our heaven as long as they are not complete jerks, the FSM will still accept them, mass genocide of non-beleivers is for the Christians, Muslims and usually against the jews, the poor jews, well anyway Genocide is not the pastafarian way, let it go Incognito, let it go.
RAmen
James D
can we have a pastafarian homeland too?
i suggest taking over Pizza Hut and naturally pasta bearing Italian restaurants. The tolerance and pacificism bits are going to be a problem of course…
Being Israeli myself, I’m glad to see that the FSM has finally made its official appearance in my country.
RAmen!
he moves in mysterious ways.
i dont mean to insult pastafarianism, but who are the prophet/s?
Pizza Hut as our Holy Land…I like it. ; )
couldn’t we get a slightly nicer restaurant for our holy land? I mean, Pizza Hut? thats pizza, not pasta. How about the Spaghetti Factory here in Seattle? That has Spaghetti right in the name.
No, if we’re going to have a Holy City, it has to be somewhere where all can live in harmony, uncliamed land, where flours of all kinds can be shipped, wheat, semolina, even rice. I’m thinking somewhere in the Mediterainean, or on an unclaimed Caribean Island(to be close to our pirate roots).
And, although it goes without saying, no elimination, hate is bad, read the Gospel, learn it, live it, love it.
For those wondering what the pastafarian homeland is, the open seas my brothers and wenches, and female pirates that are not wenches, the open seas. Where we can drink grog and have wenches, and maybe male wenches for the female pirates, all sounds good. Before I forget, in order to reiterate my point, the pastafarian homeland is the pirate boat.
Although precise calculations reveal that letting the non-Pastafarians live is a much deadlier option than their total elimination, the overly eager Pastafarians have dropped their mass slaughtering schemes. You may cease to worry.
As to the Pastafarian Holy City/homeland, I, too, can think of several reasons why it should not be Jerusalem/Israel, including the lack of originality.
“We didn’t paint Him, I swear. I have no idea how He got there”
The FSM sure works in mysterious ways…
It’s so obvious, just look around you, how can’t everyone see that’s the work of a flying spaghetti monster?
Only spaghetti can do such a beautiful creation…
RAmen.
As an Israeli citizen, I am most grateful for the appearance of FSM amongst us. As a computer scientist, I have many times stood in wonder at the bizarre effects that computers display on many occasions. There is no doubt in my mind that a higher power is responsible for many of these effects. For example, when my son was 5 years old, he played Digger and the computer spitefully disqualified him just as he was nearing the record that his sister set. Now I understand that the problem was that as a 5 years old, he was not aware enough of the deeds of FSM. Also, when I program a computer, it many times displays bizarre effects which I didn’t mean. For example, if I ask it to add 1 to a number, it sometimes (but not always) turns a large positive number to a negative one. No one could explain this reasonably, although scientists many times tried to explain it logically. Now I know: It’s FSM.
Ramen, ramen and ramen to that!
ET
You do know that was painted by 6 year olds…
I should know I wuz ther
lol
I love your ideas, and I’m thinking of converting to Pastafarianism from Christianity.
May you all be touched by His noodly appendage.
RAmen.