The FSM has recently revealed Himself in an Israeli high school through a painting depicting the pre-creation state of the universe as portrayed in Genesis 1:2.
The high school students were given the assignment of creating an artistic work related to one of the stories from the Book of Genesis. A couple of students chose to paint their interpretation of the appearance of the universe before the biblical Creation (or, as literally translated from Hebrew, “chaos”). The noodly Lord was easily spotted in the painting only after it was hanged on the corridor wall. The work’s creators claim that the painting did not originally include the FSM:
“We didn’t paint Him, I swear. I have no idea how He got there,” one of them says.
This divine act of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has made many students recognize His existence, and many have converted to Pastafarianism. Some of the recently converted Pastafarians even believe that Israel is in fact the Holy Land of Pastafarianism, and they are already contemplating methods to eliminate the all Jews, Muslims and Christians in Israel who won’t agree to convert.
The FSM’s message is obvious. For many years the state of Israel has forced the Jewish religion and its studies upon Israeli students of Jewish descent by making it a compulsory subject for receiving a matriculation certificate. The school system in Israel starts teaching students the concepts of the Old Testament when they are very young and innocent, and every student must continue studying these religious stories, regardless of his beliefs. The Holy FSM, clearly, just wishes for Israeli students to be taught the true religion, Pastafarianism.
May we all be touched by His noodly appendage,
RAmen.
Submitted by Incognito.
to beautiful for words…
RAmen
Whoa, who said anything about elimination, if they don’t want to convert let them believe what they want, they can still get into our heaven as long as they are not complete jerks, the FSM will still accept them, mass genocide of non-beleivers is for the Christians, Muslims and usually against the jews, the poor jews, well anyway Genocide is not the pastafarian way, let it go Incognito, let it go.
RAmen
James D
can we have a pastafarian homeland too?
i suggest taking over Pizza Hut and naturally pasta bearing Italian restaurants. The tolerance and pacificism bits are going to be a problem of course…
Being Israeli myself, I’m glad to see that the FSM has finally made its official appearance in my country.
RAmen!
he moves in mysterious ways.
i dont mean to insult pastafarianism, but who are the prophet/s?
Pizza Hut as our Holy Land…I like it. ; )
couldn’t we get a slightly nicer restaurant for our holy land? I mean, Pizza Hut? thats pizza, not pasta. How about the Spaghetti Factory here in Seattle? That has Spaghetti right in the name.
No, if we’re going to have a Holy City, it has to be somewhere where all can live in harmony, uncliamed land, where flours of all kinds can be shipped, wheat, semolina, even rice. I’m thinking somewhere in the Mediterainean, or on an unclaimed Caribean Island(to be close to our pirate roots).
And, although it goes without saying, no elimination, hate is bad, read the Gospel, learn it, live it, love it.
For those wondering what the pastafarian homeland is, the open seas my brothers and wenches, and female pirates that are not wenches, the open seas. Where we can drink grog and have wenches, and maybe male wenches for the female pirates, all sounds good. Before I forget, in order to reiterate my point, the pastafarian homeland is the pirate boat.
Although precise calculations reveal that letting the non-Pastafarians live is a much deadlier option than their total elimination, the overly eager Pastafarians have dropped their mass slaughtering schemes. You may cease to worry.
As to the Pastafarian Holy City/homeland, I, too, can think of several reasons why it should not be Jerusalem/Israel, including the lack of originality.
“We didn’t paint Him, I swear. I have no idea how He got there”
The FSM sure works in mysterious ways…
It’s so obvious, just look around you, how can’t everyone see that’s the work of a flying spaghetti monster?
Only spaghetti can do such a beautiful creation…
RAmen.
As an Israeli citizen, I am most grateful for the appearance of FSM amongst us. As a computer scientist, I have many times stood in wonder at the bizarre effects that computers display on many occasions. There is no doubt in my mind that a higher power is responsible for many of these effects. For example, when my son was 5 years old, he played Digger and the computer spitefully disqualified him just as he was nearing the record that his sister set. Now I understand that the problem was that as a 5 years old, he was not aware enough of the deeds of FSM. Also, when I program a computer, it many times displays bizarre effects which I didn’t mean. For example, if I ask it to add 1 to a number, it sometimes (but not always) turns a large positive number to a negative one. No one could explain this reasonably, although scientists many times tried to explain it logically. Now I know: It’s FSM.
Ramen, ramen and ramen to that!
ET
You do know that was painted by 6 year olds…
I should know I wuz ther
lol