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Did Moses see the FSM?

Published January 20th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

A very clever man who I know only as Theologikos has made the claim that Moses did not see a Burning Bush, but instead our Flying Spaghetti Monster.

He makes the argument that Moses may simply have had bad eyesight. If this was the case, what looked like a Burning Bush could easily have been the FSM.

With perfect vision, it’s easy to tell the two apart:

moses2.jpg

But with bad eyesight, the two look very similar:

moses1.jpg

I’m convinced. Thank you, Theologikos.

You can watch the youtube presentation here.



57 Responses to “Did Moses see the FSM?”

  1. Skyler says:

    Are you serious? If Moses did have bad eyesight, which he didn’t, how could he write the first five books of the Bible? I mean it’s logical that Moses could see what he wrote. And about the pasta monster, it doesn’t exist. sorry to kill your joy but it doesn’t make sence that pasta, invented by Italians, could create the planet. I know that GOD created the heavens and the earth (see GENESIS 1:1) and later sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for all of our sins. Why would He send His son to die for us? Because He loves you and has a plan for you! If you want to learn more about God’s love and His plan for your life please E-mail me ” mewicket@yahoo.com
    In Christ’s name,
    Skyler

  2. Skyler says:

    The pasta monster was made up in 2005 as a symbol of making fun of creation being tought in schools. People thought if you can teach about God then you can teach about a flying pasta monster..WRONG!!! Again I say to you all that God loves you and has a plan for you!!! I am continually praying for you all and that you would quit worshiping a sci-fi character and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. All you have to do is admit to Him that you are a sinner, The bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and came back to life. And confess Him to others!!! That’s all you have to do to be able to go to heaven. Some people will tell you that all good people go to heaven but Jeus said ” I am the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the father but through me!! Once you’ve prayed that prayer you have been adopted into the family of God and your name has been written in the lamb’s book of life! That means you can never loose your salvation!!! In Christ’s name-Skyler

  3. Keith says:

    Skyler, can you provide us with proof of all your assertions? Incidentally, when I was a child I used to have a tortoise named Moses. I never saw him write anything. I cannot vouch for his vision.

  4. plunberbob says:

    @ 49 – Skyler,

    “At a beginning…” you have no knowledge of the state of Moses’ eyesight. Moses didn’t write any of the Hebrew Bible. The language used was a Hebrew common during the period of the divided kingdoms of Israel/Judah. That was several centuries after the alleged time of the alleged exodus from Egypt. The difference was at least similar to the difference between modern and Shakespearean English. If you can read Hebrew, we can discuss the fact that Genesis 1:1 was written by a priestly source, “E”, probably the out-of-work priests from the Mushite dynasty at Shiloh in the northern kingdom of Israel.

    Historians will confirm for you that pasta was made by the Chinese at least several centuries before Marco Polo brought it to Italy.

    Your only evidence for the existence of any of the mythology which you have proposed is what your parents, your minister, or your church have solemnly told you. Most of what your parents tell you is true, because it is about what you need to survive in this world. What the minister and church have told you is a pack of lies to keep you mentally and emotionally enslaved, paying money and time to support them.

    RAmen

  5. Bob says:

    Skyler @ 49

    You are seriously missing the point. I’m happy for you all jacked-up on old-time religion as you are, the honeymoon is great, and maybe like most great marriages it will last if you can remain blind to your partner’s flaws. You can make this last a lifetime if you keep your eyes half shut and your fingers in your ears.

    If you get tired of smiling while the huge inconsistencies of your belief box you in, consider the possibility that God wrote his truths in the universe, and not in your horrendously flawed and hypocritical book. You can challenge yourself learn what you can of the universe and be comforted in the ineffable grandness of it, or you can lock onto fearful I-don-wanna-die story and assume all the flaws and limitations of humanity in the big egomaniac in the sky explain our existence and subsequent eternity.

    Keep smiling and fearing, hell, lack of morality, locusts – whatever – while telling yourself it’s the love you’re feeling that keeps you on your knees. People who beat down people for not complying to their rules and call it love are usually diagnosable sociopaths. But you tremble in your boots because you lack even the courage to question why your God isn’t even accountable to the lowest standards of humanity anywhere at any time.( So He drowned everyone He made because He felt they weren’t worthy – that story only flies because you cannot question it.) God gets the get out of logic free card and all the horrors he created are ours, all the beauty his. And you want me to jump on the guilt band wagon and fear with you so we can trade a fear of death for a fear and/or hope for a ridiculously contrived afterlife?

    I could stay up all night writing questions about your God you can’t possibly answer, but why? You won’t hear them while you wear the denial required by your belief. With out denial they are self-evident. Wrap up the huge and troubling stories you must swallow and call it faith, call the troubling things you can’t assimilate Satan, figure Gods plan is too great for your feeble and unworthy little mind to grasp. Make a friend of fear and call it God.

    Any question left why I don’t want to join your little validation party?

    The FSM is a benevolent and in most ways more likely deity, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. I, for my part, don’t really believe in the FSM. I believe in his followers.

    Ramen

  6. Drained and Washed Clean says:

    Skylar

    Are you serious?
    – Yes… Completely.

    If Moses did have bad eyesight, which he didn’t,
    – Just out of curiosity, how do you know? Have you met Moses? Talked to him? Asked him about his eyesight? Can you prove Moses existed? Even if he did, the story of the exodus is completely inaccurate.

    how could he write the first five books of the Bible?
    – I dunno… It confounds me! I guess the same as the people who wrote Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. They steal someone else’s identity.

    I mean it’s logical that Moses could see what he wrote.
    – But not if he didn’t write it. And I have AWFUL eyesight, but I can still write without my glasses if I am close enough to the paper.

    And about the pasta monster, it doesn’t exist.
    – And neither does god.

    sorry to kill your joy
    – Me too.

    but it doesn’t make sence that pasta, invented by Italians, could create the planet.
    – I doesn’t make sense that an invisible zombie sky daddy created it either.

    I know that GOD created the heavens and the earth (see GENESIS 1:1)
    – You may want to look at Genesis 2 because it tells a different story of creation than chapter 1. Which I find interesting since it was supposedly written by the same person…

    and later sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for all of our sins.
    – Sins that god created. Your god is a little obsessed with blood and death. I find it pretty sadistic.

    Why would He send His son to die for us?
    – Easy. There is no god to send a son.

    Because He loves you and has a plan for you!
    – No, I have a plan for myself which I am fulfilling nicely thank you.

    The pasta monster was made up in 2005 as a symbol of making fun of creation being tought in schools.
    – tAught dear… Learn how to spell.

    People thought if you can teach about God then you can teach about a flying pasta monster..WRONG!!!
    – Why? You think you have all the answers?

    Again I say to you all that God loves you and has a plan for you!!!
    – Prove that god exists, and why does this plan include horrible things like friends dying, family dying tragically, long term fatal illnesses… This is a pretty shitty plan dude.

    I am continually praying for you all and that you would quit worshiping a sci-fi character and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
    – I wish you would get off your knees and actually do something with your life and quit worshiping a zombie sky Jew and accept that you are going to die and fade into oblivion no matter what fictitious deity you chose to believe in to deal with the fact you are afraid of dying.

    All you have to do is admit to Him that you are a sinner, The bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and came back to life. And confess Him to others!!!
    – Been there, done that, went on a quest for god and became an atheist. All you who are running around “confessing” god to others are really just pious, holier-than-though theists who drive me crazy with your “I am right and the rest of the world is wrong” attitude.

    That’s all you have to do to be able to go to heaven. Some people will tell you that all good people go to heaven but Jeus said ” I am the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the father but through me!!
    – Well, Jesus supposedly said a lot of stuff, but he contradicts himself when you read the gospels. So, I don’t trust anything the bible says. And if that is all I have to do, then explain to me how it is OK for some murdering rapist to ask for forgiveness on their deathbed after leaving a path of destruction in their wake. I cannot accept that a god would accept that person into heaven over a good person. Screw that.

    Once you’ve prayed that prayer you have been adopted into the family of God and your name has been written in the lamb’s book of life! That means you can never loose your salvation!!! In Christ’s name-Skyler
    – Blah, blah, blah… the only “family of god” that has been created is the one loosely joined by people who are asking for your money and control what you think, how you vote, and the information you accept to be true… I consider that a little more slavery than family.

  7. Danimal says:

    Skyler,
    I want you to go check out the postings of a one Maroun Shami over on the hate mail/concerned criticism “Fallacy of your Satire” You both claim to be christians but your beliefs contradict so much. Reconcile this for me as a group and let me know what you come up with.
    k thx bye
    Danimal

  8. Zedekiah says:

    What a missed-point-fest!

    I’m saddened to see how often people with no sence of humour will explain what’s “wrong” with a joke, even one as funny as the one at the top of this page, and go on to grind everybody elses’ nerves with some pointless and aggravating rant.

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