I feel really bad

Published January 19th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I feel really bad for everyone who is here and is joking on the one and only true God,who created you, loves you with all His heart and died for your sins so that you could go to heaven and not and unimaginable place of Hell where there is no strip clubs and volcanoes of beer. Hell is a real place, and i guarantee if you were to look down on hell for 30 seconds you would be too sick and defiled and would live your life perfect until you die, regretting every sin you have done in your life. I will pray for all you jokesters who think this life is just for fun, because whether its in this life or after you die, you WILL realize that there is a true God, the only difference is that if you wait until you die you will be spending ETERNITY in Hell, and at that time its to late for forgiveness…….
- T-Jones

Update 1/21/08 – Another message from T-Jones:

you guys want proof? huh? since the Holy Bible isn’t enough for you because it was written over 2,00 years ago,even though all the historical facts in It line up and are proved 100% accurate. Just look at yourself for while, I guarentee you are living a life of sin and could care less what you do and want to believe in some spaghetti monster because he doesn’t care either, and you want to ignore anyone telling you to stop your life of sin. thats why most people don’t believe in God,it’s because they aren’t willing to hang up there life as it is. just look at true christians, most are trying to avoid sin,we aren’t perfect and we still commit sin sometimes, but were not God.most of you guys I bet feel like you have everything but for some reason missing something, well that is Jesus telling you that nothing can feel that gap, not sex,drugs,beer,cars, applainces or anything else, just Him. And For all you Guys that keep asking “How can a good God, send people to Hell?”, well let me tell you something, HE DOESN’T, incase you don’t read the Bible let me tell you the story. In the begginign before man was alive there was just angels around, with God in 1st command and Lutheran (better known as Satan) in 2nd. So, one day Satan thought he was better than God and got some angels and went to take over, well it wasn’t even close and God made a place for Satan and his followers to stay at(known as Hell). Now that there was sin around, so God decided to make man and woman in his own image, therfore makeing Adam and Eve. after God made them He told them to not eat of the fruit of good and evil, but then Satan came along and convinced Eve to eat of the fruit, therefore disobeying God and practically following Satan meaning man-kind doomed to Hell. God knew that too,and the only way he would forgive, is if someone perfect were to die for the sins of man-kind. and the only person that could do that was Jesus-Christ, the son of God. So Jesus came to earth and died on the cross, rose again the third day and descended to heaven 40 days later. This gave man-kind a second chance to spend eternity somewhere else other than Hell, that place which is Heaven. The only way we can go to Heaven is by believing 100% that Jesus Christ died for our sins and ask forgiveness for all sins we have committed and that Jesus may live in our hearts and promise to try and live a better life.(The whole process is called Salvation).. So you see, God doesn’t send us to Hell, he is giving you a second chance, you can either continue to live a sinful life and not have anything to do with God and follow Satan. or you can follow Jesus and believe in Him, which will send you to Heaven if you believe 100%. yea no-ones perfect and God doesn’t expect you to never sin again after you become saved. but does want you to represent Him good and try and live the best you can, and plus once God enter your heart, you will feel very guilty for all the sins you commit.

***like I said you don’t have to believe me right now, but you will believe sometime, i just pray that you guys will believe in this life and not have to regret it in the next one!!!



206 Responses to “I feel really bad”

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  1. Eric says:

    I’d like to see you prove why you think your religion is correct, and why ours is not.

  2. Aesi says:

    You say (and I quote) “one and only true God” (and i’m guessing you mean the christian god) however, please return to reply to our… replies (unlike everybody else :D) because I really want you to answer this.
    .
    If your god is real and the FSM isn’t then explain why, after my computer became (for lack of a better term) totally fucked and refused to start, when I put on my pirate gear and rebooted my computer (it had refused to start a previous 11+ times after rebooting) it suddenly worked perfectly well.
    .
    P.S I’m a little happy right now and probably slightly drunk (because I feared i’d have to call customer support’s high-charge phone line to get help to fix my computer) so please just… ignore all my grammatical and spelling errors :).

  3. Steve Seymour says:

    I feel so sorry for you. And seriously concerned about your version of Heaven.

    Or is this a wind-up?

  4. Maurog says:

    But we do believe in the one true God who, despite what T-Jones says, is benevolent and loving and whose noodly appendages bring light and joy in the lives of all people! I really don’t understand why some people worship a vengeful version of our noodly GOD that’s all about finding flaws in people and sending them to HELL. God is nothing like that, he’s caring and forgiving and made out of pasta and love!
    .
    T-Jones, I hope you will see the light and embrace the Flying Spaghetti Monster as your true God. But even if you don’t, our true noodly deity will forgive you, because people are flawed and stupid and prone to many mistakes, and He understands. That’s one of the reasons He chose the form of pasta, to remind us how silly this life is. That doesn’t mean you should do whatever you want, but as long as you’re not a complete asshat (even for wrong reasons like thinking God will punish you), you’ll be just fine…
    .
    All these condescending people are sure in for a surprise when instead of hell they will see beer volcanoes! Tee-hee.

  5. Surcouf says:

    Personally, the time for forgiveness is already over, blasphemy being an unforgivable sin, but thank you for the others.

    But apart from that, you don’t think you’ll convince anyone with that, do you? You may believe in and follow god because you are frightened of what he could do to you if you didn’t. But everybody here thinks that is not particularly a good argument: in nazi Germany, if you opposed Hitler and his regime, you were sent to a concentration camp. You will probably be outraged, but basically, it is the same idea than god sending nonbelievers to hell. And such a god is not worth to be honoured and worshipped.

    Doing something that seems wrong only because you are afraid of what might happen if you didn’t isn’t respectable. Actually, it is just being a coward.

  6. Pirates Evolve Too says:

    Dear T-Jones,
    .
    Too late for forgiveness? Wow, what a merciful god you have! Fire and brimstone and all that compassionate love…
    .
    Look, you’ve obviously read some of this site since you know of our belief that hell is full of (note: STALE) beer and (note: STD-ridden) prostitutes. If you know this, perhaps you’ve come across some other information regarding intelligent design. Though Pastafarianism is a wonderful and peaceful religion, it is founded on the premise that non-scientific dogma not be taught in public schools: I.D. is untestable B.S. while evolution has weathered the harsh and unforgiving world of scientific experimentation to become an all but established fact.
    .
    Jones, you go ahead and believe in your christian god and your Dante-esque concept of hell. I’ll go ahead and trust factual evidence. And please, don’t send you pity here…the majority of atheists are thinking, rational, and moral people…most I know are much less hypocritical and much more socially aware than any christians I know.
    .
    Ramen, and to you Jones, may the beer flow plentifully wherever you end up.
    .
    P.E.T.

  7. Paisley the Pirate says:

    Wait, life isn’t fun? Gee, how sad for you. I think I can have fun and still be a good person at the same time. I don’t need your “god” to be a good person. Am I still going to hell?
    .
    This “god” fella kind of seems like an asshole.

  8. KaelinRing says:

    Someone here made fun of Yeshua? Not that I’ve seen. Oh, by the by, could you share your evidence that God exists? I’d love to see it, because you seem so certain that you are right and that we are wrong. Have I overlooked some key evidence that the FSM doesn’t exist, and that your God does? I didn’t think so.

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