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I am not trying to be rude

Published January 4th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I am not trying to be rude but there is one hole in this religion that I need to point out. Pirates. How in the world do pirates have anything to do with global warming? There just people like any of us. Pirates are not different from us in anyway except for the way they act. Which (not to be rude) is totally barbaric. I think that this part of the religion needs to be thought over more to give a better explanation.
-STN

[Part 2]:

Ok, really this is the part of this religion that makes no sense. I mean how can pirates have any effects on the quality of the air in our ecosystem? I mean pirates are just humans with worse tempers and better clothes. We all know the reason for Global Warming is the pollutants in the air and increasing green house gases. If people would be more tidy and instead of throwing away there garbage; recycle it. Also with trees. If we could find a alternative way of staying the same as now but using different materials then we would be set in the department. Global Warming is a cause of humans acting stupid and not taking care of mother earth. Pirates; the only good thing about them is the fact that they look cool and plunder.

But either way I think that we need to have this part of this religion re-thought about.
-STN



82 Responses to “I am not trying to be rude”

  1. holden says:

    so like, I couldn’t find a place to comment, so I’ll just write here. Is your god Italian? I mean, we do eat of him everyday right? I mean, like, white sauce and meatballs right?

  2. ShadowTheNinja says:

    Ok, really this is the part of this religion that makes no sense. I mean how can pirates have any effects on the quality of the air in our ecosystem? I mean pirates are just humans with worse tempers and better clothes. We all know the reason for Global Warming is the pollutants in the air and increasing green house gases. If people would be more tidy and instead of throwing away there garbage; recycle it. Also with trees. If we could find a alternative way of staying the same as now but using different materials then we would be set in the department. Global Warming is a cause of humans acting stupid and not taking care of mother earth. Pirates; the only good thing about them is the fact that they look cool and plunder.

    But either way I think that we need to have this part of this religion re-thought about.

  3. Gavin says:

    what does man’s relationship with another man have to do with burning? or what does suffering for God have to do with loving said God?

  4. Ann says:

    “How in the world do pirates have anything to do with global warming?”

    How does biting into an apple (or other fruit – it wasn’t specified) make people have the sudden desire to put on clothes and be ashamed of themselves?

  5. Paul The Burptist says:

    Just the one hole in our religion? That’s not bad at all.

  6. Cape Buffalo says:

    “We all know the reason for Global Warming is the pollutants in the air and increasing green house gases.”

    I don’t think the FSM-damn fundies know this, STN. They think the scientists are obviously wrong about evolution, so everything scientists say is therefore bullshit, ie global warming.

    But if instead of higher sea levels and melting ice caps, the scientists said that global warming was going to cause plague, famine, locusts, and 4 horsemen to ride upon the Earth, those stupid fucking christians would be all about global warming then… wouldn’t they.

  7. Cory the Pastafarian says:

    Pirates are the people that evolved from the original Midgets. They then evolved into us, the current “model” of humans. They were not evil, the way they were protrayed in text books. They circled the globe and gave candy to children of every color and creed. I think we have devolved from Pirates. They did not judge.

    • Keith says:

      Sounds like a good theological proposition to me.

  8. Cap'n Wolf says:

    Not a hole, actually. It’s been proven.

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