I came across your site through Answers in Genesis. I have a couple of comments to make.
Anyone can make up a religion these days. What you propose to people is just silly. Lets be real here.
What is your authority to say how things started? I ask because we must go back to some authority in which we can say such things. Also, how can you then get to Heaven? How are we saved? Why are we in the mess, that we are?
Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life. Can you say the same thing about your “God”?
2Pe 2:1
But false prophets arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. 1 These false teachers 2 will 3 infiltrate your midst 4 with destructive heresies, 5 even to the point of 6 denying the Master who bought them. As a result, they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves.2Pe 2:2
And many will follow their debauched lifestyles. 1 Because of these false teachers, 2 the way of truth will be slandered. 32Pe 2:19
Although these false teachers promise 1 such people 2 freedom, they themselves are enslaved to 3 immorality. 4 For whatever a person succumbs to, to that he is enslaved. 57:13 “Enter through the narrow gate, because the gate is wide and the way is spacious that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 7:14 But the gate is narrow and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Living For Jesus
Joel
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Joel,
Christianity vs FSM in silliness. I would have to think Christianity wins that one.
1. Most of you are cafeteria Christians, you pick and choose what you want. Calling our religion silly is going against your own teachings.
2. No one has ever died in the name of FSM , you can’t say the same for your religion.
3. Jesus was a Jew and Jews don’t believe he died on the cross. The silly thing is if the Old Testament is right and the Jews are the chosen ones, how can the New Testament be correct? It can’t be, it was written by man not God. To think otherwise is silly.
4. Quoting scripture means absolutely nothing since you already contradicted your beliefs by making fun of us.
5. If you believe every word in the Bible then you believe the Earth is only 6000 years old and the sun revolves around the earth. That is silly.
Christians in the beginning were thought to pagans and if not for the Roman Emperor who needed forgiveness for killing his wife and child, I doubt Christianity would have exploded.
6. You highest religious leaders commit immoral acts all the time against children, taking contributions from the people to support lavish lifestyles, so it is silly to say we are immoral.
7. Everything you quoted means nothing to Christians because most of them violate that. Let me guess, just ask for forgiveness and your good again. Silly.
Joel, faith is fine but blind faith is just plain silly!
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….
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Well it is all very interesting.
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First you say that anyone can start a religion today. Well it was true two thousand years ago, as I know.
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Then you try to say that atheism and other religions are immoral and not good and etc. But well you take it from the textbook that started your religion. So what? It is sure that the bible will defend its interest. And you ask how we can get to heaven, admitting a priori that it exists, like if it was something obvious. Basing yourself upon the textbook of a religion to make a point about it is the silly thing in there, don’t you think?
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So, let’s be real, ok? Us people are all like you on the moral side and everything, it’s just that we are not afraid of burning in hell for we do not believe it exists. For FSM it is about stale beer. And also, diversify your readings, for there is not only the bible in libraries.
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“Anyone can make up a religion these days.”
Exactly just as they made up religions back on these days.
“What is your authority to say how things started?”
Pretty much the same as your authority.
“Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life. Can you say the same thing about your God?”
No, the FSM doesn’t hold us to ransom. He doesn’t expect us to believe in him or else. In fact he doesn’t really care whether you believe in him or not, he’s bigger than petty human emotions which your “God” seems to wallow in with quite distinctly human abandon.
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well at least he’s more civil than most. i respect you joel for
a) actually bothering to read the bible enough to know what quotes help your case, or at least looking them up;
b) not swearing;
c) not immediately condemning us all to hell for being heretics, like most people do
I think a bowl of pasta is in order for this moderately enlightened soul. rAmen!
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Well, at least you get brownie points for having a basic knowledge of the english language, Joel. Here, have a cookie.
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Why Jesus dying is something to be admired I’ll never understand. First of all, he came back to life. His death was neither final nor meaningful, since his sacrifice depends on him actually sacrificing something. Second of all, he “died“ to forgive original sin. Now, see, this is the part where I just really don’t get the heroism. Jesus is God or God send Jesus (you people just can’t make up your mind about that), so he can spill his innocent blood to forgive our sin. If he wanted to forgive us, why didn’t he simply DO that? He is supposedly omnipotent after all. The implication here is that an innocent has to die to absolve the guilty. Which is the equivalent of bringing a human sacrifice in form of, say, burning a virgin alive to please the gods.
Christians – claiming moral high ground since a human sacrifice was nailed to a cross.
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I’ll stick to my pasta, thank you very much. May his noodly appendage guide you to the Truth.
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I guess you have to be a mass murderer like Constantine or just really horny like Henry the 8th to actually have some authority…
Bobby, you have to get a better attitude if you want this thing to really take off… I have said it before and I’ll say it again. To have religious authority in western culture you HAVE to start killing people who disagree with you (and not just one at a time, I mean solid mass murder on a large scale is how you gain authority to say things like “who god is”). Our religion I suppose could take off in the way Buddhism did, by simply making sense… but until you threaten to punish people with torture and death the way the Christians did it, you just are not going to have any authority to design a religion for you own personal gain (again the way the Christians did) and have western culture take to it.
I think this guy makes a very valid point… we really need to work on the whole authority thing by starting the scare people rather than just using logic, since logic only works for the 40% with an IQ higher than 110 who can actually grasp the idea of logical reasoning. To really hit the masses and gain the majority, George Bush proves again that in American society it takes a psychotic nut job in it ONLY for personal gain (and while Bobby does get a lot of personal wealth from this, he is not in it ONLY for that reason, which is why we are still falling short in the authority department… we need to find a way for ALL of us preaching will profit in a huge way like the evangelicals if we are really going to take off in this country). We have to have the ability to scare people with lies to REALLY rally the masses and win the hearts at the bottom of the brain pool, so they will teach their kids as though the FSM is just fact so that they won’t doubt (and be burned at the stake for it), and then their kids (like this guy) who actually believe will be safe from our persecution and torture… I mean THAT is the way to kick start a religion if history tells us anything.
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@Fiesta42
“Wow! Answers in Genesis has a link to this site? You can’t buy that kind of great advertising!”
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Here is the link:
http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/2008/01/22/flying-spaghetti-monster
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“7:13 “Enter through the narrow gate, because the gate is wide and the way is spacious that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 7:14 But the gate is narrow and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it.”
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I’m confused…lets call the narrow gate “Gate A” and the not so narrow gate “Gate B”. Is it the situation that fewer folks find Gate A on account of it being “narrower”…er…less spacious… or was it simply designed to be narrow because fewer folks actually use it? Surely the installation of a “wider” gate…er less narrow…would encourage traffic away from Gate B towards Gate A?…perhaps the all mighty might consider a sign above the gate… although I guess more traffic could result in “bottle necking” and injury should a panic erupt among the faithful (like if they discovered a hindu trying to sneak past)…this just doesn’t make any sense to me….
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AAAAUGGGH NOOOO BIBLE QUOTES!!!!! Why can’t they try to have an intelligent argument without using scripture?? As soon as the quotes from some old dead guy hundreds of years ago are brought out as some kind of ammunition, my brain walks out the door.
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You need to be slapped with the ‘No sense of sarcasm’ stick by His Noodly Appendage.
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FSM ALL THE WAY YOU STUPID NONE BELEIVERS
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☠DutchPastaGuy☠
Jan 31st, 2008 at 9:40 am
@Fiesta42
“Wow! Answers in Genesis has a link to this site? You can’t buy that kind of great advertising!”
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Here is the link:
http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/2008/01/22/flying-spaghetti-monster
*
Where were they when logic was being distibuted? I love their way of reasoning though: we know the answer, how can we make the evidence fit? Lovely to see the knots in which they need to twist themselves :))
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Circular reasoning is circular, just like the FSM’s meatballs.
-RAmen
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☠DutchPastaGuy☠ Jan 31st, 2008 at 9:40 am
“Here is the link:
http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/2008/01/22/flying-spaghetti-monster”
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That’s excellent….
Except for the *relatively* small amount of BS (compulsory for AiG articles), example…
“Ironically enough, the “members” of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (known as “Pastafarians”), in addition to mocking God himself, are lampooning the Intelligent Design”
…..that’s the best article I’ve ever come across on AiG!
Wonder what ID is going to try to do about the huge widening cracks appearing in its target support base. :)
Woohoo!!
IDiocy: damned if it does and damned if it doesn’t!
*grinning from ear to ear*
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FSM FTW and i never told you jesus was just an asian retard(not really) so dont rag on the FSM or you will be Spaghettied(fsms way of smiteing).
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I am crushed. How good of you to point out the error of everyone’s ways. Now that a member of a legitimate religion with all its attendant authority has weighed in on the legitimacy of this site, I shall abandon this tomfoolery. After all, the member of an established, legitimate, with the authority of the bible behind it has spoken, how can I question it. Clearly, I must fall right into line and get with the program.
Notttt.
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I’m afraid, Joel, that quoting the Bible doesn’t serve to prove a point when the audience does not believe in it as you do.
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Anyone can make up a religion these days? Just like thousands of years ago. On what authority does anyone have to speak on events that can not be proven, and instead fly against reason and fact? No one has authority in matters that can only be explained with “faith”. Man this guy makes the perfect case against Christianity.
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@blackbird:
bout time someone said that. ’tis funny how people rebel against their parents yet never actually bother to follow through.
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Straight up, Joel, you’re a fucking idiot.
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Wow, “How are you to say how things started? How are you to say a carpender died for our lives, you insecitive hypocrite
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suck my invisable balls christian. I try 2 respect you christian ppl, but damn it ur such a douche! But his noodlyness forgives all, even douches.
peace love and pirates
RAmen
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Why is Joel worshiping a dead God? FSM LIVES! and His/Her eternal presence suffers from no multiple personality disorders with self destructive tendencies!!
Tim
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A Hearty AAAArgh to you all,
I came across your site a few days ago and the more I peruse the more amazed I become by the lack of understanding shown by the various authors of negative feedback. It seems most don’t even read the site fully, some seem to just see the pretty pictures and make rash judgements.
My favourite responses come from those who wax lyrical about their god piously only to call us retards and tell us to fuck ourselves in the next sentance…..very christian.
As regards the above feedback, “let be real here”
Yeah lets, lets all believe in a woman who gets pregant by magic,a dude who turns water to wine and dies and comes back to life (suppose he would be cool to have at a party though) and my personal favourite- the guy who fits a pair of all of the creatures of the earth into a boat (good luck with that).
Compaired to that our Noodly Master seems almost dull, however FSM must have a sense of humour- he created Christianity after all.
By the way, I can’t seem to register as a member of the site. Anyone know why -or what I’m doing wrong.
Best regards,
Macabry.
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u guys are all missing the point — he says what makes a religion real is an “authority.”Joseph Smith knew that 175 or so years ago, which is why he did all that stuff with golden plates and rocks in his hat and so forth … he cranked out a book that describes his religion’s history.
So, some buy a copy of the book, go bury it on a hillside, let it age a week or so and then have a friend from the local archeology department over for beer, say “ya know, i was wondering if there were any religiously relevent documents buried on that hillside over there. Shall we look?”
and there you are, one genuine authority.
ct
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yo weren’t people alive and seemed to be doing ok before jesus suposedly died? FSM for life!!!
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Excuse me, but what is your authority to say such things? All you have cited is tradition. We’re just inventing tradition, which you yourself stated anyone can do.
RAmen.
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Teehee. Silly Christians, Bible quotes are for believers of your God.
It’d be nice if people would stop shoving that crap down “heretic’s” throats.
Blessed be his Noodly Appendage
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Our book is way better.
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Hmm… circular logic is fun, reminds of a quote: “The bible wasn’t faxed to us from heaven.”
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Hmmm… let me quote something…
Shylock:
I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands,
organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same
food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases,
heal’d by the same means, warm’d and cool’d by the same winter
and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If
you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the
rest, we will resemble you in that.
The Merchant Of Venice Act 3, scene 1, 58–68
hmm … another quote that may not be factual (Shylock did not really exsist and say just this) but can be used as a guideline for moral choices….. which is what many intellectual people see that Bible as. It is a source of some the greatest wisdoms of the human race. Good moral stories and fables. But it was written by man – therefore it is not completely perfect or totally factual. People have to realize that quoting the Bible does no infer an imperative for non-religious people. It is just the same as me quoting any other book to me. It may be based in fact but there is no other evidence that can solely prove that it is the exact written word of the Christian god.
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Christian Scallywag!
Funny how they can find a million and one ways to twist up the logic in the one book they’ve actually read. What Christians don’t understand is that the noodly appendage is already punishing them by making them feel the constant need to start circular arguments (i.e. “The Bible is the true Word” how do I know this? “The Bible tells me”). Salvation may only come by donning the eyepatch of true sight and trading the two-dimensional circle of Christianity for the two meat-filled balls of the FSM. Science teaches that two mighty balls will always bring forth the power to fill the emptiness of the hollow circle! Yaaaar! Thar be the truth!
RAmen
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Jesu always over cooked and never rinsed. His sauce sucked too.
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2Pe 2:1
But false prophets arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. 1 These false teachers 2 will 3 infiltrate your midst 4 with destructive heresies, 5 even to the point of 6 denying the Master who bought them. As a result, they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves.
soo, if its supposed to be swift, why are we not dead?
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You can get to heaven by dying.
Our religion doesn’t save you because we’re never in danger in the first place.
We are in the mess that we are because his noodliness wishes it to be and if he wishes it to be then it shall eventually benefit us.
You can’t come here and expect to be taken seriously when you’re using quotes from a book that is equally probable when viewed next to ours. It’s a case of “This is wrong, I am right, don’t ask me why.”
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whats up with all the numbers in this email? 1 is it like a secret math lesson? 2 because I can already count to seven. 3 they aren’t even clearly line number. 4 at first I thought 5 they 6 respected 9 the end of each sentence 10 14 62 hike! but they don’t. do you talk to people this way, or is it like a JC hipster thing to write like that?
Dieing for some pasta!
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I too believe in some form of devine presence, call it God/Allah/FSM/og Odin. I consider myself a believer, but not religious.
That aside, I find it interesting you choose to quote the following.
[Quote]
2Pe 2:1
1 These false teachers … they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves. [/Quote]
Keyword: Swift.
Once 6-7 years ago, I began trying to convince people about my own made up religion, based on all religions being valid. I am still waiting for that swift destruction.
I gave up on the religion later as I came to the conclusion that; no man (limited and flawed as we are) are able to understand our “creators” intentions, so any religion conveyed through man, be that Moses, Jesus, the Pope or Bobby Henderson, must be flawed. The only “truth” we can really fully adhere to is what science can prove. That is the only truth we can really teach. Anything else, should be up to individual to decide for him/herself.
rAMEN
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How can you insult us in the slightest when you can’t even see that a religion linking pirates with global warming in it’s founding letter is satire? You are the proof that most christians are ignorant and above all stupid.
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It always tickles me when people throw Jesus at me like that. I usually duck, but as I have gotten older, I am stepping up to the plate and swinging a bat at those throws.
I am Jewish… and while I still practice, I also incorporate the teachings of Buddha into my life because they make so much sense. But here is the story that amuses me most.
A person I know once asked me if I was Jewish… I said yes. He is a Deacon, so he asked me when I was going to let Christ into my heart so that I could be “accepted into God’s kingdom when I die.” I advised him… No time soon, or ever.
He then went on to let me know that just because I was one of “God’s Chosen ones” I would not get into heaven until I accepted Christ as “My lord and Savior.”
I asked: “Well… Then I would no longer be a Jew, and thus I would no longer be one of the Chosen.”
He said…”The only real Jews, are Christians!”
I asked “Then what were Jews before Christ and Christiandom?”
The conversation stopped there, and I could hear him mumbling the rest of the day.
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Look up the word ‘tautology’ in the dictionary. It will say: see ‘tautology’….
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What is your authority on saying how things were started?
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…how can you say our “gods” not real? all you have 2 go on is a bible. well guess what? we have one to.
peace love and pirates
RAmen
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@Al Free Do re: whats up with all the numbers in this email?
Al, The numbers are the verses of the chapter from the Bible. His first citation, for example, is from Second book of Peter, Chapter 2, Versus 1 – 7.
What he has written as “2Pe 2:1″ is more correctly written as “2Pe 2:1-7″
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Why does an omniscient, all powerfull being need to write with all those annoying numbers in the middle of his/her/its sentences???
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Why would you quote the bible on a Website about a diffrent religion. Thats like someone quoteing the Koran on a website about Christianity
Think before you act. You think because you are able to list parts of a book that you are going to make us see the “error in our ways” and convert to Christianity. Sorry but no sale here
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What right do you have to decide what is right about creation
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I always find it hilarious how some people use THEIR religions as proof that your religion is wrong. ROFL!!
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Jesus talked to me last night.I am now a prophet.He has told me the truth:to go in heaven , you MUST eat spaghetti all day , and include meat ballz with it for protein, indispensible for sound reasoning.Now I have told you the truth ,I hope your soul may one day rest once you have realised the flying spaghetti monster is the only healthy true god.May god be in your plate, everywhere you eat.Amen. BAI NOOBZ
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What about Mac and Cheese?
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“As a result, they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves.”
I see no swift destruction here… Your ‘God’ must be a ruse also
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