I came across your site through Answers in Genesis. I have a couple of comments to make.Anyone can make up a religion these days. What you propose to people is just silly. Lets be real here.
What is your authority to say how things started? I ask because we must go back to some authority in which we can say such things. Also, how can you then get to Heaven? How are we saved? Why are we in the mess, that we are?
Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life. Can you say the same thing about your “God”?
2Pe 2:1
But false prophets arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. 1 These false teachers 2 will 3 infiltrate your midst 4 with destructive heresies, 5 even to the point of 6 denying the Master who bought them. As a result, they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves.2Pe 2:2
And many will follow their debauched lifestyles. 1 Because of these false teachers, 2 the way of truth will be slandered. 32Pe 2:19
Although these false teachers promise 1 such people 2 freedom, they themselves are enslaved to 3 immorality. 4 For whatever a person succumbs to, to that he is enslaved. 57:13 “Enter through the narrow gate, because the gate is wide and the way is spacious that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 7:14 But the gate is narrow and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
Living For Jesus
Joel
This is, of course, is based on the idea that the proposed audience you’re speaking to via this mail are all Christians.
Believe it or not, they are people who are religious but aren’t Christians.
Hey! Check out the above post! Wow! I love this idea (FSM) - but quoting scripture in defense of intelligent design? Come on! Onviously the above guy has: 1 No sense of humour 2 A unwaivering and unquestioning belief in a dogmatic sytem 3 too much time on his hands. (4 he also doesn’t put punctuation after his 5 bible line numbers)
Anyway Joel, none of these things are bad on their own, but all three traits wrapped up in a slightly suggestable male youth lead to, well…ever heard of Waco? Columbine? Jihad? or… The Crusades? Mormons? The Republican National Convention? A Soccer Riot? No?
People who quote scripture scare me. Hey Joel, keep up the good work with the bible study, buddy, but if you ever find your self climbing the the stairs of a campus clock tower with a .306 remmington avec bremnar scope all hidden in a flower box, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
living for Pasta,
Tommy J
PS - It’s the first time I’ve replied to this type of thing and I got to admit that if I ran around the interwebs posting retorts to everyone who quoted scripture in defence of their beliefs I’d have carpal tunnel, a really bad hemorrhoid and a worse sex life than I do now. Ouch.
Dear Joel,
I believe that most religions were made up a quite some years ago. And the people that wrote other religious books.. Did they have any athority of saying how thigs started?
Our God doesn’t find it very usefull to let someone die, so others can live. He thinks it rather unfair, or maybe he is just to busy doing meaningfull things like watching TV or shooting pool.
RAmen
“Anyone can make up a religion these days. What you propose to people is just silly. Lets be real here.”
Exactly, and the same thing happened a few thousand years ago. Christianity - as any other religion - is man made. God did not create man - man created God. Let’s be real here.
“What is your authority to say how things started? I ask because we must go back to some authority in which we can say such things. Also, how can you then get to Heaven? How are we saved? Why are we in the mess, that we are?”
What authority says that God exists? Who told you that God exists? Your parents? The local priest? My point is, that just because someone says that ’something’ is true, doesn’t actually make it so. We need evidence. We need evidence that God exists. We need evidence, that there really is a Heaven. If you come across this evidence, please let us know. Until then, the criticism you have for The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is just as true for Christianity. You can’t proved that God created the world, and you can’t disapprove that the Spaghetti Monster created the world.
Bible quotes! I am convinced now, Joel! That’s almost as good as real science!
“What is your authority to say how things started?”
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What is your authority for saying anything to the opposite of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I’d say before you proclaim The Flying Spaghetti Monster as false, you should bring some proof of your deity to the table. Show some proof of Heaven and Hell, show some proof of God’s miracles perhaps. Answer the age old question of why does god hate amputees (www.whydoesgodhateamputees.com)?
@Joel
“I came across your site through Answers in Genesis. I have a couple of comments to make. Anyone can make up a religion these days. What you propose to people is just silly. Lets be real here.”
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Agreed, it’s silly. But certainly no sillier than what Answers in Genesis proposes. Much less silly in fact. Pastafarianism doesn’t make many (if any) claims that go against reproducible, verifyable scientific evidence. AiG does, a lot.
“What is your authority to say how things started?”
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Our prophet Bobby Henderson had a revelation! Through him we have received His word, as written down in the Gospel of the FSM. I have faith!
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“I ask because we must go back to some authority in which we can say such things.”
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The FSM that spoke through Bobby is the highest authority in the universe. You know, the One who created it all in the first place.
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“Also, how can you then get to Heaven? How are we saved?”
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Obey the 8 ‘I’d really rather you didn’t’ statements and you automatically have an afterlife full of cool drinks and hot strippers to look forward to. Open your heart to the FSM and you will see life in a completely different way, both your life here on earth and the one after that. Of course you’re completely free to believe whatever you want, no pressure, but I would gently remind you that stale beer and old strippers with horribly wrinkled skin and artificial limbs is not something you want to risk. So the wisest thing to do (Google ‘Pascals wager’) is to embrace the FSM and the wisdom of His word (on rare occasions when He is sober) as written down in the Gospel of the FSM. RAmen.
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“Why are we in the mess, that we are?”
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Ok, I have to concede the point here. There is such a mess because our almighty, merciful deity, the FSM, noodles be forever upon Him, is actually a semi-continuously drunken piece of bungling incompetence, as far as almighty deities go.
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“Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life. Can you say the same thing about your “God”?”
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Of course. Jesus was the son of the FSM! You didn’t know that?! Some christians were upset to learn this. Yet noone has ever met the challenge to produce evidence that it isn’t so. There is an online challenge to come up with evidence that it isn’t so. Any christian who has convincing evidence that jesus is not he son of the FSM can win a fortune.
It was such a great tragedy that in another bout of drunkenness, the FSM let jesus be nailed to a wooden bar. He later regretted it terribly, letting his son suffer so horribly for no good reason whatsoever. I assume you’ll agree that creating suffering doesn’t help to make the world a better place. You’d have a pretty sick world view if you thought the way forward is by placing people in terrible agony.
Come on guys: he gets here through Answers in Genesis, doesn’t that say enough? Quotes of scriptue to prove said scripture is about the level I’d expect sadly enough.
I am appaled at the thought that our benevolent noodly God would want to make someone die, for whatever reason. Nor does He need to die for us to have a life, thank you very much. He is a loving and forgiving deity, blessed be His pasta for all eternity.
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As for how do we know, don’t we have the gospel written by Him directly through His prophet? In plain English, mind you, not translated from any obscure language. He told us how He created everything, starting with mountains and midgits, and who are you to undermine the authority of living Spaghetti God? He tells us he loves us and even guides us with the holy I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts.
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As for false teachers, looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You say the gate is narrow, so why do you pick on a religion which is obviously a *minority* religion? Surely, it’s the big religions who are wrong, because if they were right, the people won’t fit into the gate? “The gate is narrow and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it”, why, that’s about us! We are the few who found the way of Pasta and people like Joel are making our life difficult. It all makes sense now!
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As for you, Joel, I pray He will touch you with His noodly appendage and you will see the light.
Ramen.
Hi Joel
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“Anyone can make up a religion these days.”
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Anyone has always been able to make up a religion, and did they ever! The difference these days is perhaps that the internet enables a religion to establish itself quickly. Almost any argument you use to support your beliefs works equally well against them. For example, what is YOUR authority to say how things started? I ask because I would like to hear how you think you know your Gospel is more authoritative than ours. Can you not imagine a first century Roman saying to the Disciples “Quis vos populis propono iustum leviculum est, (”What you propose to people is just silly” excuse my schoolboy Latin — see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIAdHEwiAy8 ) and Jupiter and Mars won’t like it”. Hence the need over the last two thousand years for the established Church to torture and murder your “false teachers” lest the true teachers be shown wanting.
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“Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life”
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Never quite got this. He died, but will live in heaven for ever. Not much of a sacrifice if you think about it! Hence the need for such a strong taboo against suicide to prevent believers taking a shortcut out of this life on on to better things beyond.
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“Also, how can you then get to Heaven?” —— Read our Gospel!
“How are we saved? —— Read our Gospel!
“Why are we in the mess, that we are?” —— Read our Gospel! Plus, humanity has spent much of the last two thousand years using arguments about the finer points of brown nosing your God as a justification for mass murder.
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“Can you say the same thing about your God?”
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We can, and with the same level of certainty you can say it about yours.
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Advocatus Diabioli.
Some are saved, others invested. Clearly, few heed the call of the Prophet, Swami Snatchadamonee, who wrote of these things in his First Letter to the Crustaceans: “Be ye as a crab and sidle, Seek the bottom and feed contentedly” .
Some points of dogma, though: Is one anointed with, or by, the Flying Spaghetti Monster? The text is scanty on this point.
Is there a place in the theory of the FSM for UFOs, healing crystals, and aluminum foil headware? Not that I have an objection to any of them; I think that aluminum headware is very trendy, and a great way of recycling aluminum foil.
Bob Runowski
Can you quote the entire bible please, Joel? I’m getting interested.
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But then why are you saying our religion is false? Because it’s not yours. (that wasn’t a question, it’s an answer).
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Of course, it would be very stupid if the writers of the bible would say “any other prophet could be true too, there are many roads that lead to Rome”.
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That’s the good thing about the FSM religion; we could be wrong. We admit it; all we need it proof. “It’s written in my [your religious book of choise]” doesn’t count.
Wow! Answers in Genesis has a link to this site? You can’t buy that kind of great advertising!
Joel -
Please realize that we do not share your point of view about the bible as an authority for anything. You have probably spent your life being told that your one particular book is Truth, that every last word is true, and that all truth can be found there. You believe this fervently, and are used to using arguments from the bible within your church community, and having them automatically accepted. But by posting here, you are within OUR “church community”, and we have different standards.
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To be able to use any quote from the bible to prove anything to us, you must first establish the truth of the bible. The argument that “the bible must be true” because “it says so in the bible” is totally circular. I can argue “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is true” because “it says so in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster”. Same arguement, exactly, but I don’t think you’ll accept it. This is why we don’t accept yours. Proof of the validity of a source must come from OUTSIDE the source. You CANNOT prove the bible is true by using only things written in the bible.
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To us, it is one of many, many ancient texts. It’s full of mythology and legend, ancient mysticism and superstition, mixed with historical records of the wars of a small bronze-age mideastern tribe. I have read it, cover to cover, in two different translations. I have also read other works of ancient mythology. I have no reason to believe in the “Truth” of any of those books. They provide an interesting perpsective on the mindsets of the people of those times. They are a useful cultural reference. But no amount of quoting from your special “book” can convince me that any of the numerous people who wrote it, or edited it, had a lock on “Truth”.
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Joel, I’ve read quite a few other books in my time. I’ve studied science, and listened to lots of opinions. I’ve seen the Invisible Pink Unicorn’s blessings on my laundry - raptured socks and white shirts taking on her holy color. I have prayed at the Church of Google and had my prayers answered in nanoseconds. I have looked for noodliness in the world, and lo, it is pervasive. I find more evidence in front of me in support of these fictional religions than for any traditional one. Nothing that your “book” says can convince me that your invisible friend is real. So don’t bother quoting it at me.
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Care to try arguing a different way? Find a way to establish the authority of your book that does not involve quotes from the book as the proof. Then you might have more success in getting our attention.
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You might gain some perspective by realizing that we are a mirror for you. We are behaving in exactly the same ways your community does (only usually more politely, and with better spelling). We take the arguments you make, substitute “Flying Spaghetti Monster” for your god, substitute our made-up beliefs for the ones you are accustomed to, and argue them right back at you. If this seems silly and preposterous, please realize that you look the same way to non-Christians. If you don’t like what you see here, look to the mote in your own eye.
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RAmen
2Pe 2:19
Although these false teachers promise 1 such people 2 freedom, they themselves are enslaved to 3 immorality. 4 For whatever a person succumbs to, to that he is enslaved.
Wow… kinda reminds you of Christianity, doesn’t it? Joel, just becuase you can throw scripture in our faces doesn’t make you right. Anyone could write a reasonable prediction of what will occur in the future. And, with enough time, all reasonable predictions will come to fruition.
And low is is stated in the book of Mike the pirate Page 132, Paragraph 90 Sentence 3 Subphase 27… beta.
“Reached out with his noodley apendage did he and graced the life of human, and it was tasty.”
Pasta be with you
RAmen.
sir… all these questions and more can be answered if you read The Gospel. How do we get to Heaven, why Bobby Henderson has authority, how he knows how it started. If you would like a copy I am known around town for lending them to non-believers.
Your bible was written by people just like ours. Sighting it as proof, ie EXACTLY the same as us sighting ours as proof. Try again.
It’s not “how do we get into our heaven?” it’s more “how do we end up in our hell?” I would say it’s nearly impossible to end up in our hell, unless you rape children and then eat their corpses.
And who had the authority to start Christianity, or Islam, or Buddhism (there’s actually an answer for that one!) or Paganism? Why is it that we get so much flak for our Spaghedeity? Aren’t all the gods pretty much the same thing? So what if we choose to believe that he likes to take the form of tasty Pasta goods?
Joel,
If you want to talk about made up religions, let us first talk about the Abrahamic faiths, which according to evidence, are no where near the first or oldest religions in human history. There is distinct archaelogical evidence for countless polytheistic and nature worship religions long before any of the Abrahamic faiths. So based off that and other evidence Judaism was the second monotheistic faith invented by man(Akanaton’s Aton worship predates it iirc) and who knows how far down the line of religions in general. Then around 2 thousand years ago a Jewish Rabbi supposedly (the historical proof for his existance is limited at best) started a ministry and formed a Messianic cult. This cult then interpreted his actions and the events of his life to a change in the covenant with the Jewish god which allowed (at least according to some of this Rabbi’s followers) gentiles to join the faith enabling it to grow into a major world religion. Then ~600 years ago an arab merchant went into a cave and wrote a book which he claimed an angel told him to write proclaiming a new variant of the covenant. If I may be so bold sir, what gave Abraham, Jesus, or Mohammad the right to invent their religions? What makes Abraham’s YHWH more valid then the ancient cave man’s fertility goddess? Or the Greek Zeus? You may believe, rightly or wrongly, that your faith is the absolute truth and the only right one, but that does not change the fact that you have no more evidence to support that (or to disprove the Flying Spaghetti Monster) then I have to say that in fact a giant pasta monster created existence. So please sir, until you have that proof please be respectful of the rights of others to believe what they want and we will do the same to you (and no, the Bible cannot be used to prove itself, please find some real evidence).
RAmen
I am reminded of the story of the pot calling the kettle black.
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Jesus died for you? I’m willing to bet that your parents and their parents were Christian. Isn’t it extremely lucky that you just happened to be brought up in the one correct religion? If you were born in Saudi Arabia, you would be Muslim. If you were born in ancient Norway, you would believe in Thor. How fortunate- and not at all suspect and sad- that you think that the religion that you just happened to be indoctrinated into as a child is the correct one.
You are just not getting it, Joel. You should have FAITH in his Noodliness. Ever heard the word before? Flying Spaghetti Monster is whom we get our HOPE from. And faith is a virtue. We are the people of the covenant, the chosen people of His Noodliness. His Noodliness created us. Just he is not masochistic enought to die for us on a cross. He can give us his eternal blessing without that. Why don’t you wake up and see that His Noodliness loves you, that his appendages are touching you all over.
Joel, notice, this website has nothing to do with the Bible (though it mocks it), and more to do with science.
I don’t mind if you think your religion is right; I think my Shinto beliefs is just as correct. It is good to openly accept others religious system, lest we avoid any religious wars.
I DO care if you think you religion is science (or vice versa). The scientific view requires utmost skepticism, and a mind that only believes in what one sees, feel, hear, smell, and taste. It has nothing to do with spiritualism and supernaturals. And science never should.
While I fear others after me will post terrible comments, please understand this: we do not stand against Christianity. Many of us are Christians, believe it or not, but we all believe that religion should not be taught as science. Religion and science must remain separate. This is our only goal.
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Thank you for your concern.
geek took the words right out of my mouth…..nothing like qouting the bible to set things straight:)
And to say that beleiving in the Flying Spaghetti Monster is any more ridiculous than beleiving in Christianity, let met pose the idea of Christianity in these terms:
“The belief that a cosmic, Jewish, zombie (he did rise from the dead) can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so that he can remove an evil force from your ’soul’, that happens to be present in all humanity, because a woman created from a mans rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple from a magical tree.”
Yea…..that makes ALOT more sense than FSM.
Ramen
of course anyone can make up a religion. ALL religions were made up by someone, or a group of someones. just because a religion was made up a long time ago does not mean that it is any more or less valid than a religion that was made up recently. the fsm offers just as much proof as the christian bible. its all there, if you take the time to read it.
living for the fsm
kelly
Well, I might be wrong here, but to answer your question about why we are here in this mess were in or whatnot.
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The FSM created all of us and this world and the universe and all that junk in a drunken fit. Later, after realizing His blunder, He decided that it would be best to take responsibility for His creation, and so He created heaven. You see, He does not feel that it is fair to punish us for mistakes we make during an existence which He imposed on us. What a kind and fair Monster He is.
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I hope this clears things up.
Joel, I’m very please you were able to come across our website. I, in fact, just came across your wifes face while screaming praise to your god and jesus.
“Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life”
Sorry dude, I’m not really into religions that promote human sacrifice. Also, I find it rather revealing that the hard-core Christians that post on this site have completely missed the point of all this. I mean completely. All of their posts just prove the point that they arent using their brains.
Joel,
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We believe the Flying Spaghetti Monster through his word, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (available from amazon.com). We get to heaven for staying true to his Noodliness, preaching his word in full pirate regalia, and eating of his body. We do not need to be saved seeing as people are inherently good…the mess we are in is due to good people being ruined by bad, man-made things (i.e. religion other than Pastafarianism). Our god didn’t need to die for us seeing as he knows we are good people, besides, he gives his body to us every day (yum).
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As for your scripture selections, your god sounds spiteful, mean, and not nearly as yummy. Think about coming over to the light side…laugh a little…and realize (brace yourself)…This site is SATIRE. How many times do we have to tell you this. Look at how easily I replaced “Christianity” with “Pastafarianism.” Think about it…how hard is it to found a religion knowing the things that people want to hear?
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Joel, get away from answers in genesis, they knowingly distort scientific, philosophical and even religious fact in order to sway people looking for easy answers. Answers come from searching the library and your mind, not from bible-toting fundamentalists.
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RAmen,
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P.E.T.
Well, at least he used decent grammar and the smaller portion of his brain. That’s more than I could say for most commenters.
Obviously, another case of squirreline encephalitis.
To any Christian wanting to quote their bible at me to try and get me to abandon His Noodliness, I give you this bible quote:
“What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?”
1 Corinthians 5:12
In other words, leave me alone.
CF
To answer your questions:
-Our authority is the many FSM sightings, and also the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You can have your Jesus-pancakes and bible. This is what we have.
-You get to heaven by believing in the FSM and following the 8 I’d-really-rather-you-didn’ts. And there’s no need for us to be saved because we don’t believe that everyone is a sinner.
-If the “mess” that you’re referring to is global warming, it’s because we persecuted all the pirates. Pirates=cooler earth. If the mess you’re referring to is war, well, that’s not the FSM’s fault. All the wars going on currently have to do with religious extremists forcing their beliefs on others. The FSM doesn’t condone that. The religious extremists are clearly not Pastafarians.
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Am I leaving out any messes?
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~Paisley
What is your authority to say how things started? I ask because we must go back to some authority in which we can say such things.
I said it before and I’ll say it again: The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster said it. I believe it. That settles it.
Also, how can you then get to Heaven? How are we saved?
No worries! The FSM loves all his creations! Follow the eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” and you should be fine.
Why are we in the mess, that we are?
Too much intolerance. It’s very sad.
Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life. Can you say the same thing about your “God”?
We can say even better! The FSM lets us have life without anyone having to get nailed to anything.
Yeah! I like the “Geek” ’s answer. If I had a meatball for everytime I had Jesus thrown at me living in the south.
My other problem is that I became a Pastafarian right about the same time as I went once a low-carb diet.
Any sugestions? Is being a Anti-pasto-farian the same as becoming a satanist in christianity?
rAmen
“What you propose to people is just silly.”
Any sillier than a bearded sky ferry watching every single humans every move and thought? I think not.
“What is your authority to say how things started?”
What is yours? Oh wait, I remember reading something on this. It was called the Nicean Creed I believe. A bunch of people in 325 AD got together and voted on what Christan belief should be. What was thier authority?
You go ahead and quote your Story Book all you want. Just because someone wrote it down a couple thousand years ago doesn’t make it true (oh yeah, someone wrote it down, then someone else read it, and wrote it down differently, then someone new read it and rewrote it differently, and etc. etc. It’s a really long game of Religious Telephone.)
Living for RAmen,
Squingle
You’re just asking for it, aren’t you?
“What is your authority to say how things started?”- an interesting question to ask, and it’ even more interesting that you would bae the validity of our argument upon it. Working on the principle that we have to have the correct authority in order to have a valid opinion, you clearly don’t have one. Hell, it’s not even your opinion- YOU’RE “living for jesus”.
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And could YOU answer these questions, baed on christian teachings?
“how can you then get to Heaven? How are we saved? Why are we in the mess, that we are?”
Hell no you can’t.
Maybe I’ll add one of my own to your little compilation of un-answerable questions:
Why can’t you understand how to use commas?
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Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life. Can you say the same thing about your “God”?-
Answer: No, we can’t say the same thing about our God, he’s clearly still alive….
OH WAIT, that’s actually vastly superior to being dead.
Also, Jesus didn;t die to give us life, you dipshit. He died to make a point about beleiving in your God through faith. Im not going to go into it, but people write essays on this kind of stuff.
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I could go on, but I have more important things to do…
…Like doing nothing.
I don’t mean to offend because i consider this my second religion but it is a joke. It was made to piss off people who believe in perfect design. bty i’m catholic and don’t believe in it
Joel,
Our religion has authority that is as equally based in evidence as yours is. His Noodly Greatness even warned us about you.
The Holy Noodle: The Flood
“Then the Flying Spaghetti Monster saw that the wickedness of Man was great on earth, and that every thought of the little midget was ruled by his stomach.”
Joel, if I may 1 ask a question, why did you 2 add numbers into 3 your letter? I found it 4 very disrupting to 5 read when there were all these 6 numbers in between your 7 words. Alas, 8 I think we shall never 9 know the 10 truth as to why 11 Joel did this.
Quoting bible verses at non-Christians. That’s gonna work, eh?
“Anyone can make up a religion these days.”
Anyone can make up a religion at any point in time. You don’t know how Catholicism really could have started.
“How can you then get to Heaven?” I believe that The FSM swoops down and embraces us in his noodley appendages and carries us to Heaven. It’s all quite logical. Once we are taken to Heaven we can enjoy the beer volcano and the stripper factory. It beats bouncing around on fluffy clouds and playing a harp. I can’t play a harp. It’s got too many strings. I can play a kazoo. I’ll bet the FSM is okay with a kazoo.
I came across your site through Answers in Genesis. I have a couple of comments to make.
Thanks for looking
Anyone can make up a religion these days. What you propose to people is just silly. Lets be real here.
Who said we weren’t being real?
What is your authority to say how things started?
What is yours?
I ask because we must go back to some authority in which we can say such things.
who says?
Also, how can you then get to Heaven?
By honoring the holy FSM
How are we saved?
By living a good life
Why are we in the mess, that we are?
Well, not knowing where to put a comma could be part of teh cause…..
Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life. Can you say the same thing about your “God”?
Ummm…. Yeah
People have been on earth for millions of years
there has been life on earth for millions of years
Please explain to me how in 2000 years we got everything we have now
and no, Because my god is holy in that he doesnt need to die to be holy
2Pe 2:1
But false prophets arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. 1 These false teachers 2 will 3 infiltrate your midst 4 with destructive heresies, 5 even to the point of 6 denying the Master who bought them. As a result, they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves.
2Pe 2:2
And many will follow their debauched lifestyles. 1 Because of these false teachers, 2 the way of truth will be slandered. 3
2Pe 2:19
Although these false teachers promise 1 such people 2 freedom, they themselves are enslaved to 3 immorality. 4 For whatever a person succumbs to, to that he is enslaved. 5
7:13 “Enter through the narrow gate, because the gate is wide and the way is spacious that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 7:14 But the gate is narrow and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it.
awww, how cute
Use a good book
Living For Jesus
Joel
Joel is just sad.
Anyone can make up a religion these days. Also, anyone could make up a religion 2000 years ago. Who says yours is better than ours?
Circular logic much? Honestly… your entire argument relies first on the premise that the bible is right… so… your argument is “the bible says if you don’t believe the words in the bible, you go to hell”… yeah… that’s not at all circular.
Bleh, there’s nothing to say your religion is “better” or “more right” or “more made up” than ours, any logical fallacy you can present, I can present an equally invalid one in support of his Noodlyness. I’m sorry, but your argument fails. RAmen.
Andrew
I must ask you this:
What is YOUR authority to say how things started?
There is not a book as falsifiable as the Bible
and thats your source of whats right? A book of lies and errors?
If “Jesus” died so that we could have life, what happened to every human that lived and died “Before Christ”? Where did they come from, where did they go? There’s real evidence that we were here before the bible says we were supposed to be. Also, I love that he capitalized the G in “God” when reffering to The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
You need his noodly goodness to cleanse your wicked wicked soul. Only through his divine buttery touch will you find the happiness and freedom. ‘Our’ noodly master was boiled in water for 15 minutes, can your God claim that? And he had hot meat sauce poured upon his divine countenance. He went through hell for us, and for YOU! Pastafarianism is every bit as valid as ID.
Find your noodly master, before it is too late.
Joel,
Christianity vs FSM in silliness. I would have to think Christianity wins that one.
1. Most of you are cafeteria Christians, you pick and choose what you want. Calling our religion silly is going against your own teachings.
2. No one has ever died in the name of FSM , you can’t say the same for your religion.
3. Jesus was a Jew and Jews don’t believe he died on the cross. The silly thing is if the Old Testament is right and the Jews are the chosen ones, how can the New Testament be correct? It can’t be, it was written by man not God. To think otherwise is silly.
4. Quoting scripture means absolutely nothing since you already contradicted your beliefs by making fun of us.
5. If you believe every word in the Bible then you believe the Earth is only 6000 years old and the sun revolves around the earth. That is silly.
Christians in the beginning were thought to pagans and if not for the Roman Emperor who needed forgiveness for killing his wife and child, I doubt Christianity would have exploded.
6. You highest religious leaders commit immoral acts all the time against children, taking contributions from the people to support lavish lifestyles, so it is silly to say we are immoral.
7. Everything you quoted means nothing to Christians because most of them violate that. Let me guess, just ask for forgiveness and your good again. Silly.
Joel, faith is fine but blind faith is just plain silly!
….
.
Well it is all very interesting.
.
First you say that anyone can start a religion today. Well it was true two thousand years ago, as I know.
.
Then you try to say that atheism and other religions are immoral and not good and etc. But well you take it from the textbook that started your religion. So what? It is sure that the bible will defend its interest. And you ask how we can get to heaven, admitting a priori that it exists, like if it was something obvious. Basing yourself upon the textbook of a religion to make a point about it is the silly thing in there, don’t you think?
.
So, let’s be real, ok? Us people are all like you on the moral side and everything, it’s just that we are not afraid of burning in hell for we do not believe it exists. For FSM it is about stale beer. And also, diversify your readings, for there is not only the bible in libraries.
“Anyone can make up a religion these days.”
Exactly just as they made up religions back on these days.
“What is your authority to say how things started?”
Pretty much the same as your authority.
“Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could have life. Can you say the same thing about your God?”
No, the FSM doesn’t hold us to ransom. He doesn’t expect us to believe in him or else. In fact he doesn’t really care whether you believe in him or not, he’s bigger than petty human emotions which your “God” seems to wallow in with quite distinctly human abandon.
well at least he’s more civil than most. i respect you joel for
a) actually bothering to read the bible enough to know what quotes help your case, or at least looking them up;
b) not swearing;
c) not immediately condemning us all to hell for being heretics, like most people do
I think a bowl of pasta is in order for this moderately enlightened soul. rAmen!
Well, at least you get brownie points for having a basic knowledge of the english language, Joel. Here, have a cookie.
.
Why Jesus dying is something to be admired I’ll never understand. First of all, he came back to life. His death was neither final nor meaningful, since his sacrifice depends on him actually sacrificing something. Second of all, he “died“ to forgive original sin. Now, see, this is the part where I just really don’t get the heroism. Jesus is God or God send Jesus (you people just can’t make up your mind about that), so he can spill his innocent blood to forgive our sin. If he wanted to forgive us, why didn’t he simply DO that? He is supposedly omnipotent after all. The implication here is that an innocent has to die to absolve the guilty. Which is the equivalent of bringing a human sacrifice in form of, say, burning a virgin alive to please the gods.
Christians – claiming moral high ground since a human sacrifice was nailed to a cross.
.
I’ll stick to my pasta, thank you very much. May his noodly appendage guide you to the Truth.
I guess you have to be a mass murderer like Constantine or just really horny like Henry the 8th to actually have some authority…
Bobby, you have to get a better attitude if you want this thing to really take off… I have said it before and I’ll say it again. To have religious authority in western culture you HAVE to start killing people who disagree with you (and not just one at a time, I mean solid mass murder on a large scale is how you gain authority to say things like “who god is”). Our religion I suppose could take off in the way Buddhism did, by simply making sense… but until you threaten to punish people with torture and death the way the Christians did it, you just are not going to have any authority to design a religion for you own personal gain (again the way the Christians did) and have western culture take to it.
I think this guy makes a very valid point… we really need to work on the whole authority thing by starting the scare people rather than just using logic, since logic only works for the 40% with an IQ higher than 110 who can actually grasp the idea of logical reasoning. To really hit the masses and gain the majority, George Bush proves again that in American society it takes a psychotic nut job in it ONLY for personal gain (and while Bobby does get a lot of personal wealth from this, he is not in it ONLY for that reason, which is why we are still falling short in the authority department… we need to find a way for ALL of us preaching will profit in a huge way like the evangelicals if we are really going to take off in this country). We have to have the ability to scare people with lies to REALLY rally the masses and win the hearts at the bottom of the brain pool, so they will teach their kids as though the FSM is just fact so that they won’t doubt (and be burned at the stake for it), and then their kids (like this guy) who actually believe will be safe from our persecution and torture… I mean THAT is the way to kick start a religion if history tells us anything.
@Fiesta42
“Wow! Answers in Genesis has a link to this site? You can’t buy that kind of great advertising!”
.
Here is the link:
http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/2008/01/22/flying-spaghetti-monster
“7:13 “Enter through the narrow gate, because the gate is wide and the way is spacious that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. 7:14 But the gate is narrow and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it.”
.
I’m confused…lets call the narrow gate “Gate A” and the not so narrow gate “Gate B”. Is it the situation that fewer folks find Gate A on account of it being “narrower”…er…less spacious… or was it simply designed to be narrow because fewer folks actually use it? Surely the installation of a “wider” gate…er less narrow…would encourage traffic away from Gate B towards Gate A?…perhaps the all mighty might consider a sign above the gate… although I guess more traffic could result in “bottle necking” and injury should a panic erupt among the faithful (like if they discovered a hindu trying to sneak past)…this just doesn’t make any sense to me….
AAAAUGGGH NOOOO BIBLE QUOTES!!!!! Why can’t they try to have an intelligent argument without using scripture?? As soon as the quotes from some old dead guy hundreds of years ago are brought out as some kind of ammunition, my brain walks out the door.
You need to be slapped with the ‘No sense of sarcasm’ stick by His Noodly Appendage.
FSM ALL THE WAY YOU STUPID NONE BELEIVERS
☠DutchPastaGuy☠
Jan 31st, 2008 at 9:40 am
@Fiesta42
“Wow! Answers in Genesis has a link to this site? You can’t buy that kind of great advertising!”
.
Here is the link:
http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/2008/01/22/flying-spaghetti-monster
*
Where were they when logic was being distibuted? I love their way of reasoning though: we know the answer, how can we make the evidence fit? Lovely to see the knots in which they need to twist themselves :))
Circular reasoning is circular, just like the FSM’s meatballs.
-RAmen
☠DutchPastaGuy☠ Jan 31st, 2008 at 9:40 am
“Here is the link:
http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/2008/01/22/flying-spaghetti-monster”
.
That’s excellent….
Except for the *relatively* small amount of BS (compulsory for AiG articles), example…
“Ironically enough, the “members” of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (known as “Pastafarians”), in addition to mocking God himself, are lampooning the Intelligent Design”
…..that’s the best article I’ve ever come across on AiG!
Wonder what ID is going to try to do about the huge widening cracks appearing in its target support base. :)
Woohoo!!
IDiocy: damned if it does and damned if it doesn’t!
*grinning from ear to ear*
FSM FTW and i never told you jesus was just an asian retard(not really) so dont rag on the FSM or you will be Spaghettied(fsms way of smiteing).
I am crushed. How good of you to point out the error of everyone’s ways. Now that a member of a legitimate religion with all its attendant authority has weighed in on the legitimacy of this site, I shall abandon this tomfoolery. After all, the member of an established, legitimate, with the authority of the bible behind it has spoken, how can I question it. Clearly, I must fall right into line and get with the program.
Notttt.
I’m afraid, Joel, that quoting the Bible doesn’t serve to prove a point when the audience does not believe in it as you do.
Anyone can make up a religion these days? Just like thousands of years ago. On what authority does anyone have to speak on events that can not be proven, and instead fly against reason and fact? No one has authority in matters that can only be explained with “faith”. Man this guy makes the perfect case against Christianity.
@blackbird:
bout time someone said that. ’tis funny how people rebel against their parents yet never actually bother to follow through.
Straight up, Joel, you’re a fucking idiot.
Wow, “How are you to say how things started? How are you to say a carpender died for our lives, you insecitive hypocrite
suck my invisable balls christian. I try 2 respect you christian ppl, but damn it ur such a douche! But his noodlyness forgives all, even douches.
peace love and pirates
RAmen
Why is Joel worshiping a dead God? FSM LIVES! and His/Her eternal presence suffers from no multiple personality disorders with self destructive tendencies!!
Tim
A Hearty AAAArgh to you all,
I came across your site a few days ago and the more I peruse the more amazed I become by the lack of understanding shown by the various authors of negative feedback. It seems most don’t even read the site fully, some seem to just see the pretty pictures and make rash judgements.
My favourite responses come from those who wax lyrical about their god piously only to call us retards and tell us to fuck ourselves in the next sentance…..very christian.
As regards the above feedback, “let be real here”
Yeah lets, lets all believe in a woman who gets pregant by magic,a dude who turns water to wine and dies and comes back to life (suppose he would be cool to have at a party though) and my personal favourite- the guy who fits a pair of all of the creatures of the earth into a boat (good luck with that).
Compaired to that our Noodly Master seems almost dull, however FSM must have a sense of humour- he created Christianity after all.
By the way, I can’t seem to register as a member of the site. Anyone know why -or what I’m doing wrong.
Best regards,
Macabry.
u guys are all missing the point — he says what makes a religion real is an “authority.”Joseph Smith knew that 175 or so years ago, which is why he did all that stuff with golden plates and rocks in his hat and so forth … he cranked out a book that describes his religion’s history.
So, some buy a copy of the book, go bury it on a hillside, let it age a week or so and then have a friend from the local archeology department over for beer, say “ya know, i was wondering if there were any religiously relevent documents buried on that hillside over there. Shall we look?”
and there you are, one genuine authority.
ct
yo weren’t people alive and seemed to be doing ok before jesus suposedly died? FSM for life!!!
Excuse me, but what is your authority to say such things? All you have cited is tradition. We’re just inventing tradition, which you yourself stated anyone can do.
RAmen.
Teehee. Silly Christians, Bible quotes are for believers of your God.
It’d be nice if people would stop shoving that crap down “heretic’s” throats.
Blessed be his Noodly Appendage
Our book is way better.
Hmm… circular logic is fun, reminds of a quote: “The bible wasn’t faxed to us from heaven.”
Hmmm… let me quote something…
Shylock:
I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands,
organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same
food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases,
heal’d by the same means, warm’d and cool’d by the same winter
and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If
you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, do we not revenge? If we are like you in the
rest, we will resemble you in that.
The Merchant Of Venice Act 3, scene 1, 58–68
hmm … another quote that may not be factual (Shylock did not really exsist and say just this) but can be used as a guideline for moral choices….. which is what many intellectual people see that Bible as. It is a source of some the greatest wisdoms of the human race. Good moral stories and fables. But it was written by man - therefore it is not completely perfect or totally factual. People have to realize that quoting the Bible does no infer an imperative for non-religious people. It is just the same as me quoting any other book to me. It may be based in fact but there is no other evidence that can solely prove that it is the exact written word of the Christian god.
Christian Scallywag!
Funny how they can find a million and one ways to twist up the logic in the one book they’ve actually read. What Christians don’t understand is that the noodly appendage is already punishing them by making them feel the constant need to start circular arguments (i.e. “The Bible is the true Word” how do I know this? “The Bible tells me”). Salvation may only come by donning the eyepatch of true sight and trading the two-dimensional circle of Christianity for the two meat-filled balls of the FSM. Science teaches that two mighty balls will always bring forth the power to fill the emptiness of the hollow circle! Yaaaar! Thar be the truth!
RAmen
Jesu always over cooked and never rinsed. His sauce sucked too.
2Pe 2:1
But false prophets arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. 1 These false teachers 2 will 3 infiltrate your midst 4 with destructive heresies, 5 even to the point of 6 denying the Master who bought them. As a result, they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves.
soo, if its supposed to be swift, why are we not dead?
You can get to heaven by dying.
Our religion doesn’t save you because we’re never in danger in the first place.
We are in the mess that we are because his noodliness wishes it to be and if he wishes it to be then it shall eventually benefit us.
You can’t come here and expect to be taken seriously when you’re using quotes from a book that is equally probable when viewed next to ours. It’s a case of “This is wrong, I am right, don’t ask me why.”
whats up with all the numbers in this email? 1 is it like a secret math lesson? 2 because I can already count to seven. 3 they aren’t even clearly line number. 4 at first I thought 5 they 6 respected 9 the end of each sentence 10 14 62 hike! but they don’t. do you talk to people this way, or is it like a JC hipster thing to write like that?
Dieing for some pasta!
I too believe in some form of devine presence, call it God/Allah/FSM/og Odin. I consider myself a believer, but not religious.
That aside, I find it interesting you choose to quote the following.
[Quote]
2Pe 2:1
1 These false teachers … they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves. [/Quote]
Keyword: Swift.
Once 6-7 years ago, I began trying to convince people about my own made up religion, based on all religions being valid. I am still waiting for that swift destruction.
I gave up on the religion later as I came to the conclusion that; no man (limited and flawed as we are) are able to understand our “creators” intentions, so any religion conveyed through man, be that Moses, Jesus, the Pope or Bobby Henderson, must be flawed. The only “truth” we can really fully adhere to is what science can prove. That is the only truth we can really teach. Anything else, should be up to individual to decide for him/herself.
rAMEN
How can you insult us in the slightest when you can’t even see that a religion linking pirates with global warming in it’s founding letter is satire? You are the proof that most christians are ignorant and above all stupid.
It always tickles me when people throw Jesus at me like that. I usually duck, but as I have gotten older, I am stepping up to the plate and swinging a bat at those throws.
I am Jewish… and while I still practice, I also incorporate the teachings of Buddha into my life because they make so much sense. But here is the story that amuses me most.
A person I know once asked me if I was Jewish… I said yes. He is a Deacon, so he asked me when I was going to let Christ into my heart so that I could be “accepted into God’s kingdom when I die.” I advised him… No time soon, or ever.
He then went on to let me know that just because I was one of “God’s Chosen ones” I would not get into heaven until I accepted Christ as “My lord and Savior.”
I asked: “Well… Then I would no longer be a Jew, and thus I would no longer be one of the Chosen.”
He said…”The only real Jews, are Christians!”
I asked “Then what were Jews before Christ and Christiandom?”
The conversation stopped there, and I could hear him mumbling the rest of the day.
Look up the word ‘tautology’ in the dictionary. It will say: see ‘tautology’….
What is your authority on saying how things were started?
…how can you say our “gods” not real? all you have 2 go on is a bible. well guess what? we have one to.
peace love and pirates
RAmen
@Al Free Do re: whats up with all the numbers in this email?
Al, The numbers are the verses of the chapter from the Bible. His first citation, for example, is from Second book of Peter, Chapter 2, Versus 1 - 7.
What he has written as “2Pe 2:1″ is more correctly written as “2Pe 2:1-7″
Why does an omniscient, all powerfull being need to write with all those annoying numbers in the middle of his/her/its sentences???
Why would you quote the bible on a Website about a diffrent religion. Thats like someone quoteing the Koran on a website about Christianity
Think before you act. You think because you are able to list parts of a book that you are going to make us see the “error in our ways” and convert to Christianity. Sorry but no sale here
What right do you have to decide what is right about creation
I always find it hilarious how some people use THEIR religions as proof that your religion is wrong. ROFL!!
Jesus talked to me last night.I am now a prophet.He has told me the truth:to go in heaven , you MUST eat spaghetti all day , and include meat ballz with it for protein, indispensible for sound reasoning.Now I have told you the truth ,I hope your soul may one day rest once you have realised the flying spaghetti monster is the only healthy true god.May god be in your plate, everywhere you eat.Amen. BAI NOOBZ
What about Mac and Cheese?
“As a result, they will bring 7 swift destruction on themselves.”
I see no swift destruction here… Your ‘God’ must be a ruse also
“Anyone can make up a religion these days.”
Nothing much changes does it? Seems that anyone could make up silly religions 2000 years ago too.
RAmen
Why is it that so many people feel the need to insult His noodley goodness?
Who is to say that there is