You guys are just crazy with no life……Spaghetti monster????? even I could come up with something better - I pride myself on being a satanist. You guys are so fucking crap it makes me sick. You’re all blind and headed aon the wrong path - I’m not trying to drag you into satanism - it’s not what we do, but I’m just saying: OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!!! THERE’S NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!!
-anonymous
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
And the say we’re the crazy ones?
No such thing as a Flying Spaghetti Monster? Obviously you’re not looking at the evidence.
Why are you wasting your time with that Satan guy? Our God gives us beer and a stripper factory. What do you get?
What do satanists believe? Oh that’s right, that a big red guy with hooves for feet, and horns and a tail walks (hops) around in command of some sort of really hot correctional facility. Boy do I feel wierd that I believe in a spaghetti monster!
RAmen!
At least we have a mountain of evidence that he put there for us.
I think this mail actually IS from satan ;-)
May you be smitten by the wrath of the Great FSM’s noodly appendage, you infidel. You will boil for eternity in the microwave down under (not Australia) and us believers will watch you from the great noodle factory in the sky and laugh. Heathen scum.
man, I love this site. You couldn’t make this stuff up. classic
bless you. you’re funnee. teenagers *rock* in a so-much-passion, not-enough-information kinda way.
these guys aren’t against you, dude. It’s kinda fun that you’re determined they’re wrong anyhow…
I wonder if you’re thinking that satanism is just an inversion of judeo christian norms. in which case, you’re a fundie in disguise (and not a good disguise, either).
Anyhow. Enjoy :)
Hey now. There is no such no for such hate. You have your beliefs and we have ours. I don’t see you going around telling all the other religions that they are “fucking crap” for believing in Buddah, Sheeva, Beelisbub, Allah, or any other assortment of dieties. If you must insult us, please insult every other religion out there; for our belief in the FSM is just as valid as any other religion’s belief in their god.
*There is no such need for your hate. Sorry. Didn’t notice the mistake until it was too late.
Poor little lonely satanist.
Never learned the meaning of the word “irony”, eh anonymous?
Obvoiusly, Albert Einstein has been reincarnated. How can I refute such pure logic? I’m off to the local satanist bookstore to replace my library, and maybe score a T-shirt, too.
no insulting of his noodly appendage!
There is also NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS SATAN, so open your own fucking eyes
come up with? it was the flying spaghetti monster who came up with us, not the other way around. Also I dont see how the Satan is a better choice of being to worship, though feel free to prove me wrong. Finnaly I’ll open my eyes, when you open your mind.
I would just like to say two things. 1) Please go back to the High School you graduated from and give them back the diploma because due to your utter inability to grasp the basic rules of grammar you shouldn’t have been allowed past 9th grade English. 2) If you happen to have some evidence that yours or any other faith has a better claim to correctness then His Noodlie Appendage I would be more then willing to accept that there has been a mistake.
On a side note, I don’t think I’ve ever seen hate mail from a Satanist before (assuming its from a real Satanist), could this be a sign that His Noodlieness is making his presence felt more strongly?
RAmen
Now if this guy could type his rant upside down I’d pay more attention.
“it’s not what we do” What exactly do you do? - besides listening to bad music and torturing defenceless fuzzy animals.
I’ve said it before, but seriously…SO not worth our time.
I used to laugh at the irony when people would say that belief in the FSM is ridiculous.
.
Now it just depresses me.
We’re blind?! You are a follower of LaVey (whether you are LaVeyan or not - he was the founder and he brought Satanism to life). He lied about being in a circus, about being a crime photographer, even about his “gypsy” grandmother who taught him “black magic”.
.
I’m not blind. I just have bad eyesight. Thank FSM for glasses!
There is no evidence for the existence of Satan or any other superhuman being.
I will open my eyes on one stipulation…you open a dictionary and look up satire.
how dare you say anything bad about our parmesan-loving leader
I like a bowl of pasta with a good spaghetti sauce better than a bowl of blood.
MAYBE that’s the point with some of it dim-wit. Are you silly? Whos eyes need to be open again?
Well, another person whitout any sense of humor or whatever. I don’t think he would have bashed us this way if he had read at least to lines on this site.
.
Welcome, anonymous, and try to read between the lines sometimes.
.
P.S. Satanists claim to be intelligent people. You will be deceiving them this way.
I’m certain that annon is correct. The Spaghetti Monster is not a “Fucking Thing”. He merely needs to wave his noodley appendage to create. He doesn’t need to mess around with all that sweaty stuff. On the other hand, there is the stripper factory…
I think we found the common grounds of Christians and Satanists… a miracle! His noodly appendages brought sworn enemies to preach together on the subject of His noodliness. His mediating nature brought them together, now if only they could see the light of the right path.
.
For He said “all religions are equal”, and behold - we get the same comments from two completely different religions. Praised be the Flying Spaghetti Monster in His infinite wisdom, and may His noodly appendages guide us all!
.
Ramen!
Spaghetti missionaries unite! We have a heavenly duty to help this poor soul see the light
This guy must be a Rosilicornian under disguise to use such harsh words against His Noodlyness…
I checked wikipedia to see what Satanism actually is. I assume this guy is a LaVeyan Satanist. They “feel free to satisfy their urges responsibly, exhibit kindness to their friends, and attack their enemies.” I find “attack their enemies” to be to ambiguous myself and open to too much interpretation. I question this anonymous’s intelligence as he missed incredibly obvious satire. He/she/it did spell spaghetti correctly, but used all caps with a string of exclamation points. I give it a 2/10. No death threats, going to hell, attempts at conversion, blasphemy, gross misspellings, utter lack of grammar, good insults, etc.
Dear Anal Onymous
I may be wrong , but I think you have, perhaps, missed the point about the FSM.
Also, the FSM could take your Satan in a square go, as we say on this side of the pond, and with one noodly appendage behind his back. So, away and play in the traffic.
“THERE’S NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!!”
.
Prove it.
.
OEJ
In contrary, the FSM has been more viewed than any other ‘god’
Ha….a satanist giving us the wrong path talk…so odd.
Uhhh… so you’re a Satanist? I’m guessing you’ve never really read into it, huh? Rule I of the XI Satanic Rules is “Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.” Rule VIII: “Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.” Yeah… it’s not all about Slayer and Satan, you know.
Oh, Satanist huh? That’s real original. I think that a religion about a flying spaghetti monster is just as credible as the church of Satan actually ^^
Wait a minute… you’re a Satanist. Are you sure? I mean, with what you typed, it’s obvious that you haven’t indulged yourself in the 11 Satanic Rules. Rule #1 - “do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.” Rule #8 - “do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.” Therefore, if it’s none of your business, then don’t make it your business. It’s ok, though… because it’s entertaining.
Bah!!! I posted twice, and it’s not here. :(
Even you could come up with something better?
Oh cool, like wha-…
Oh wait… o-..oh.
You’re a…satanist…
Oh yeah, well…. I guess that’s kinda…
yeah… really original…
Yeah…
Well, this is certainly a different kind of hate mail to what we’re used to….
The strange thing about this satanist is i like him more than the fundamentalist christians that send in hate mail every other hour, at least he hasn’t attempted to ‘convert’ or ’save’ us.
Anyone for a bet? I’ll give you pretty good odds that ‘anonymous’ was raised in a christian family. Most of the hallmarks of a christian hate mailer are there: overuse of caps lock, exclamation marks, swearing, calling us crazy.
Wow, Anonymous loves this site today.
You know, if you were a real satanist, you’d understand the concept of saying you believe in something, but not really believing it.
Get a clue, Frank.
There’s no such thing as Satan, so ha.
How do you like it, Mr. I-Worship-The-Devil-Because-I-Can-And-It’s-Free?
Seriously, you as a satanist should understand something like the FSM. It’s a fucking parody!
I’ll stop believing in our noodly master once someone like you can prove to me that he does not exist.
who cares?
There is no proof of Satan and writing in CAPS doesn’t make your statement truer. So I can say the same thing about your religion. In your own words “OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!!! THERE’S NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS SATAN!!!!!
.
Also, when you put “I’m not trying to drag you into satanism - it’s not what we do” , you are proving you are just like the ignorant Christians that bash us. We don’t go on satanic websites making fun of your religion whether it is real or not. Why? Because we don’t care. You can pray to a head of lettuce if it brings you comfort. It is your right . But you bash us which makes you just like all the Christians that come here and do that. No surprise because opposites usually attract. They hate Satan telling everyone that is bad will go to him but I think secretly they love him and that is why you are just like them.
.
Maybe you will wise up and see the purpose of FSM, but I doubt you will because you are not educated enough to click on “About”.
RAmen!
Christian A: “Hmmm…these guys don’t seem to respond properly to hate-mail by Christians (ie; by repenting and converting)… I know! What’s the opposite of a Christian? A Satanist! So if I claim to be one of those they’ll surely believe me!”
Nice try, but…no cake.
Jesus christ, you’d think a satanist would get it.
You guys are just crazy with no life……Demon monster????? even I could come up with something better - I pride myself on being a Pastafarian. You guys are so fucking crap it makes me sick. You’re all blind and headed on the wrong path - I’m not trying to drag you into pastafarianism - it’s not what we do, but I’m just saying: OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!!! THERE’S NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS LUCIFER!!!!!
Try not to make arguments without evidence, someone might make them back at you.
I must disagree strongly with his satanic majesty, I have just come across the site and I feel that the truth has been revealed to me, I will never look another meatball in its noodly eye in quite the same way again. (pass the parmesan darling) I am a multi Billionaire and I would like to donate my entire fortune to the one and only truly provable religion I have come across.
AFTER ALL DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO HATES PASTA AND MEATBALLS???????????????
Ahh I rest my case.
What a shame no donation form for me to fill out, ahhhh well I am off to count my money again
100010100101
The FSM was created to show how ridiculous it is to teach something AS science that clearly has no scientific value on the whole of the curriculum.
and you can honestly say that there is such as a thing as a fallen angel that is now in charge of hell.
and you accuse others of going down the wrong path? Being a Satanist is really the answer.
well that’s rather interesting.
btw, I encourage you to think of something better than a spaghetti monster. Perhaps then it will let your critical thinking skills kick in and realize what this religion is about.
Duh. You haven’t realized that this is sarcasm and satire yet? Wow.
You haven’t realized that this has all been sarcasm and satire yet? Wow.
How do you know? To me the evidence seems pretty solid. Where is the evidence for your Satanist religion?
…Satanist. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s a first.
Well, I guess it’s comforting(?! more like sincerely unnerving) that “representatives” from more than one religion cannot read and/or comprehend satire.
I’ll be praying for His Noodly Appendage to bless you.
RAmen.
A fallen angel? Even I could come up with something better
oh but there is a little red guy with horns and legs like a goat?
and by the way, I hope the FSM didn’t hear you say that!! probly make him cry.. jerk
wow…you suck. don’t you realize the entire ‘religion’ was intended as mockery of the blind following facilitated by religion in general…Satanism? k. maybe there’s no such thing as Satan. maybe you’re just the one that’s crazy
I love spaghetti.
Well why dont you come up with something better??
I have seen the FSM and is a great sight , you should open your satanic eyes a little more lil one.
Pasta Peace to all
I think you meant, “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS SATAN, OR REAL SATANISM EXCEPT VIRGIN TREKKIES LIVING IN THEIR PARENTS’ BASEMENT.”
Oh yeah? Prove it?
Christians are all the same.
Yeah, I said it. You worship Satan, a member of the Christian pantheon. Therefore you ARE a christian.
Personal abuse: the last refuge of the truly unimaginative.
Look, fuck off. Why do you care about what others believe? This is why the Middle East is brimming with conflict - people like you attack others and start a whole damn war on beliefs. Just go your own ways. If you think they’ll go to hell (or wherever) then you can think that. Killing them won’t save them from that, will it? The Spanish Inquisition failed because its victims died believers of their own beliefs. Christian Evangelicals fail because people can now just ignore them without being killed (usually). Believe in your own theory; why do you care what others think? If some Chinese farmer is Buddhist, how does that affect your life if you’ve never met him? If some scientist is Atheist and researches to further the study of evolution, can’t you just ignore him if you don’t agree? If someone is a different religion than you and you’ve never met them and don’t care about them (for the most part), WHY DO YOU GIVE A DAMN WHETHER THEY WORSHIP/MEDITATE TO/ETC Al-lah, Deus (God), Yhwh (”I am that I am” (or God) in Hebrew), Shiva (or another Hindu deity), Buddha (or another Buddhist figure), Kami (Shinto deities and spirits), devils, demons, dragons, or the FSM, or anythin else. WHY DO YOU CARE? IT’S NOT LIKE IT’LL AFFECT YOUR LIFE (with rare exceptions). WHY BOTHER?
WHY?
WHY???
Mmmm… satan on pasta. Sounds delicious.
Oh, wait… that’s seitan!
my bad.
awww. See, i love satanists. I think they have a realistic look on life. But you, my friend, give them a bad name. Respect others religions. Even if you find them stupid. Like I find Christians stupid. Because you have no say in there lives. Well, despite the fact that your a dick, I wish you the best.
Peace love and pirates
RAmen
How are you so sure that there’s a satan? Because he’s mentioned in the bible? Weak argument dude. At least we have graphs.
Ok and I guess that a satanist is nothing but an Inverse Christian right?… Satan only makes good music, besides that he´s a Jesus pal
Oh no, a satanist thinks our religion is unbelievable. The satanist is calling us crazy and saying we are on the wrong path. We should learn that we are “so fucking crap” and find out what that means. I challenge you to prove there is a Satan. If you’re not that type of satanist then your religion is inaccurately named.
hey there buckshot, theres no Satan either. guess that pops a hole in your belief system dosent it?
Well i’ll be the first to say: “You guys are so fucking crap.” explain to me what exactly that means? is it that as pastafarians we fuck crap? did you mean to say “full of fucking Crap” or “such fucking Crap”, which would in turn question the meaning of “fucking Crap”? or is it of some other greater philosopocal aspect that we (or I, rather) cannot comprehend…
If you indeed He is not real then look back at what you worship (Ad Hominem is nigh): an abstract Conceptual Demon of Pain and Suffering. Looking at his (your God’s) polar opposite we see again an abstract conceptual PERSON of Creation…
You may see where this is leading: our God, is not, in any tangible way, Abstract. He is percievable and tangible.
Again explain how we are on the wrong path in our path following a non-Abstract Concept that was not based off of another Abstract contradicting religion?
And no…unlike you we have a life outside of Religion, and respect our rights to Life…
Thank you for commenting
So what’s your point?
@☠DutchPastaGuy☠
Jan 25th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
I hope you’re giving good odds…doesn’t take a nuclear physicist to work out anon is “damaged goods”…lets face it…being a fundy Xtian zombie is one thing but a self professed “Satanist” is a believer so left of centre the rest of the flock couldn’t stand to socialise with him over tang and shortbread…frankly he rebelled…if I had to profile him…which I’m not qualified to do but won’t let that stop me…I’d say “anon” is a greasy haired reject from “happy clappy” land who has had one too many wedgies and is a step removed from a mass shooting…other than that…he’s probably pretty boring…
“I pride myself on being a satanist.”
.
From The Nine Satanic Sins:
.
1. Stupidity—The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.
.
Now, how can you pride yourself on being a satanist when you don’t even do marginal research on what you criticize?
.
Why, indeed, cannot people enjoy their beliefs in private and let others enjoy theirs.
One answer appears in the Humes book “Monkey Girl” (recommended reading for all pirates). Fundamentalists believe they will go to hell if they do not believe every word in the Bible is literally true. Thus, if their children are led astray by exposure to other ideas, they might have to spend eternity separated from their children. It is enough to reduce some of them to tears. It is both sad and scary. It also leaves little room for compromise and explains why theocracy is part of their agenda (a little Christian version of the taliban right here for you and me).
@Felix
“I hope you’re giving good odds…doesn’t take a nuclear physicist to work out anon is “damaged goods”…lets face it…being a fundy Xtian zombie is one thing but a self professed “Satanist” is a believer so left of centre the rest of the flock couldn’t stand to socialise with him over tang and shortbread”
.
I would give you very good odds on the bet of ‘anonymous’ being ex-xtian, if it weren’t for the fact that we’re thinking in the same direction. Anyone there who thinks anonymous isn’t an ex-xtian? With 10:1 odds in your favour?
Of course he exists. Can you prove that he doesn’t exist. Furthermore, we have youtube clips that show him, but more importantly I know from those special feelings in my heart that the FSM is real.
Can i just get this in my head. You are a satanist, right. I know little about satanism, it’s all sacrifycing virgins on alters of bones while chanting to an angel who couldn’t keep his footing or something. If you don’t understand something, don’t comment on it - it makes you sound like a prat, a stupid prat. The whole concept is satire and just as believeable as every religion, with more evidence as well.
May the pasta deliver you to where ever you wish to go, and if he doesn’t then find a pirate to do it.
Nameless shinobi, I think there may be more to satanism than sacrificing virgins on altars of bone, but that is a pretty good summary. Plus, anyone who thinks he can create a better religion is welcome to try.
Five bucks says he can’t do it.
@Nameless
what a lovely blessing - May the pasta deliver ….
Thank you.
Satan, and all of his mischievous followers are just jealous because they will be left out of the war to come, when the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Lord Xenu battle for the rights of the universe and claim to all souls.
I really think it’s touching how serious people take us. They get so emotional! They must be touched by his Noodly Appendage!
RAmen.
Does anyone else here think there just may be a tad of over enthusiasm too much here?
What gets me is the utter confidence with which one belief is dismissed and another entirely embraced in the same paragraph.
And he’s got the wrong one right. (eh?)
ramen
So…our Noodley Master doesn’t exist, but some dude with horns, hooves, a really bad sense of direction, and what has got to be some very serious body odor does exist? Yeah, that makes sense. Hmm, why don’t you get back to scaring the hell out of (heh) xians, because you are better at that than you are at forming a coherent thought.
But of course Satin is real….good logic there
While our friend ‘anonymous’ is obviously a bit of a prat with no sense of humour and has missed the point of the site entirely, I would advise my fellow pastafarians not to be so quick with their denouncements of satanism. Obviously it carries a stigma in popular culture; sacrificing virgins, black mass, big red guy with horns who was in an abusive relationship with Saddam Hussein in the past, etc. But modern Satanism is a completely different thing, and doesn’t actually have anything to do with Satan as a being, and unless I’m mistaken is a wholly non-supreme-being-based religious movement. Wikipedia has a good set of articles to explain it.
Of course, there are still also people who call themselves Satanist who are just ACTUAL devil-worshippers of the stereotypical kind, but I don’t think our friend ‘anonymous’ here is one of those. I could be wrong of course, but I doubt it, for if I was His Noodly Appendage would correct my thinking.
RAmen
I’m an atheist but Satanists don’t believe in Satan. Just thought I would share that with you, all you have to do is a little google search and you can see they are not much different.
Such a devoted Satanist. So devoted, that he broke two of his 11 Satanic Rules: Rule 1 - Don’t give your opinion or advice unless asked, and Rule 8 - Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself… sooooooooo… basically, keep your whining and opinions to yourself in business that doesn’t concern you. Wow… I’m not a Satanist, yet I obviously know more than this “proud satanist.”
I doubt he’s a real Satanist, though, and he’s really a frizzy, long haired, Slayer obsessing, black nail polish wearing, Hot Topic shopping spawn of the Hollywood made Satanism.
Umm… As a satanist, I’d like to kick hin out of my “Not-so-dumb-satanist,” club. He obviously hasn’t read the black book in a long time.
i used to be a satanist and follow the black preist anton lavey and the nine sins but now all i have to say to you is GET FUCKED YOU FUCKING SATANIST FUCKWIT IF YOU COME HEAR FOR THE SOUL INTENTION OF BEING DIS-RESPECTFUL THEN YOUR NOT A FUCKING SATANIST!
WWW.SATANISM101.COM IF ANY ONE IS INTERESTED OF FINDING OU MORE.
ID LIKE TO FOCUS ON THE 11 RULES ON EARTH #1 DO NOT GIVE YOUR OPINION/ADVICE UNLESS ASKED WHERE YOU FUCKING ASKED? #2 DO NOT SHARE AN OPINION UNLESS YOU ARE SURE WE WANT TO HERE IT (WE DIDNT) #3 WHEN IN ANOTHERS LAIR SHOW RESPECT OR ELSE DO NOT GO THERE. OUR LAIR DID I SEE RESPECT? NO! #8 DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING YOU NEED NOT SUBJECT YOURSELF TOO. THATS 4 RULE BROKEN THATS A FUCKING REAL DEVOTED SATANIST AINT IT YOU LITLE CHILD GO HOME AND PLAY WITH YOU PENTAGRAMS YOU DISCUST ME!
and satanists dont sacrifice virgins those guys are kreeps. find out at satanism 101
not to post heaps but reading the conversations the only reson satan even exist is coz god does but god doesnt so therefore there can be no satan meaning that your worshiping nothing..
and i also fo got to say Ramen
Ramen
The modern church of Satanism is composed priamarly of atheists and agnostics. There whole point is the opposition of authority and thus the authority of the church. That is unless something happend to them in the last couple years since I saw them, maybe they all stopped playing Dungeons and Dragons. Thats too bad, its a good game, and it leads to satanism of course, with all the demon summoning you do.
What does so fucking crap mean?
You know what? You can go to Hell.
When you say sacrificing a virgin, you mean deflowering, right? If so, that sounds like my kind of religion, but FSM is good too. Nothing wrong with polytheism as long as we keep Yaweh out of our pantheon.
If you are going to be so unsatanist, don’t announce that you are a satanist. You’re making a bad impression for the real satanists out there.
Satanism is actually my closest religion; i did a lot of research into it. I wasn’t going to be one, no way. But it means I know the basics of it.
So go learn how to be a satanist and leave us to worship our noodly lord because he is all-mighty and made of pasta.
You should open your fucking eyes. Then you would see his noodly goodness.
Well, I will not stoop the level of satanism. I am a Santaist.
Woah hahaha man this “religion” is pretty cool i wanna get a FSM for my dads car and a shirt and a sticker for my room i love this!
Is it crazy to love the pasta? If so, I don’t want to be sane. RAmen.
Hey,
Don’t bash the pasta guys. They have a very valid theory that is more reasonable than any other religion/belief. There is not Satan, just a guy named Santa and Stan, but most definately, no Satan.
Sanity is for non-religious people.
I know a lot of Computer Science students who literally worship Serial ATA technology
SATAists they are!
lol ween will people start 2 realise that we pastafariansare not satanists