OK, I agree that this is a bunch of complete nonsense. All you people who actually think that a flying spaghetti monster created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end. I pray that someone around you will show you the Bible someday soon and that you turn to Jesus Christ our savior so God can have mercy on your souls, because if not, you’re all going to hell.
with pity,
anonymous
threats of hellfire again? These guys just aren’t original…
OK, I agree that this is a bunch of complete nonsense. All you people who actually think that an old guy created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end. I pray that someone around you will show you the Gospel someday soon and that you turn to the FSM our savior so He can have mercy on your souls, because if not, you’re all going to hell.
with pity,
Dr Dagger
Ah, that’s more like it! With the polite comments by christians appearing somewhat regularly lately, I was beginning to doubt my hard atheist line a bit. So thanks anonymous poster at the top of this thread for justifying my being an arse to christians every now and then.
“OK, I agree that this is a bunch of complete nonsense.”
Most of us are aware of this. We are much more intelligent than you make us look, as we often use sarcasm to get our point across. If you don’t believe me, try reading a few evidences and worships through. It’s clear we’re making not being serious.
.
This, however, is disturbing:
“All you people who actually think that a flying spaghetti monster created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end.”
I’m sure you thought the same thing when you heard that people historically didn’t believe in the same god as yours. Since obviously, the world hasn’t ended during these days–even the Great Flood failed to keep Chinese from living happily with their Taoism 4,000 years ago–we don’t believe the people who actually does believe in FSM would be any more influential to the end of the world as Taoism
.
I strongly don’t believe that people should go to hell because they don’t believe in the same God as you do. A person who passionately believes in a Catholic God, then kills Protestant due to conflicting interpretation of the Bible should have a higher probability of going to hell than a a Buddhist who advocates for peace and prosperity for all people. If you don’t agree with my perspective, than I can only conclude your perception of the Bible is what’s bringing the world to unneeded bloodshed.
It’s good that you feel that way. It means you understand exactly how we feel about your religion, that it’s “complete nonsense”. Oh, and by the way, that’s also how 4 plus billion other people on earth feel about your religion.
Sir, with all due respect to YOUR God, please stop referring to Jesus Christ as OUR Savior. I can only hope that when you finally realize the true ways of Pastafarianism, when the one True FSM invites you into heaven (yes, you non-believers get a ticket as well, our Diety is as generous as He is handsome), you will enjoy the fact that we can still get along, regardless of how wrong OUR beliefs are to you.
RAmen.
Well, I happen to think that your belief system is compete nonsense; but as our noodley creator is merciful and kind, he does not send people to hell just for believing nonsense.
with pity,
Sarah
Sir, with all due respect to you and YOUR beliefs, please refrain from calling Jesus Christ OUR savior. We have our own savior, and when you finally realize the true way of the Pastafarian, you will understand. And when the FSM invites you to heaven (yes, you non-believers get a ticket as well, for our savior is as generous as He is handsome) you will learn that just because we think differently than you, we are just as right as you are in our beliefs.
RAmen
You mean our supernatural being that can’t be seen or heard is nonsense, but your supernatural being that can’t be seen or heard makes sense? I think that they are at least equal on the surface. When you add in how Flying Spaghetti Monsterism explains why observation differs from scripture, we are much more rational. Although a strong argument could be made against both. -Fizz
But why the HELL do they think that hell afraid us???? It is complete non sense! There is no hell! There is just stale beer and HIV strippers…
.
YOU should be afraid that you may be fated to drink something even flatter and tasteless than american beer for eternity… (Canadian beer is way better)
.
I am becoming very bothered with this “hell” issue. As as for the world coming to an end, I repeat and repeat that the world will probably end with some religious fanatic using an H-Bomb because someone has drawn caricatures of his damn HUMAN prophet… or something even worse.
.
Think that believing in God is not a prerequisite to love this world and protect it.
And PLEASE stop with the pity thing… We are very happy of our condition, and I think that everybody here agrees with that.
Does anyone seriously believe that the world is coming to an end soon!?
What’s NOT a sign of the Apocalypse to an anonymous End-Timer these days?
Since this one can spell and punctuate, I assume he will recognise the word “Apocalypse”.
Hey Anonymous,
.
I usually don’t write to people like you because you won’t read what I say, but I have three things to tell you:
.
1. This is satire.
2. Most of us have read the bible.
3. We have chosen, based on scientific and philosophical criteria, to live a moral life that isn’t based on the idea that an invisible, omniscient man (woman??) is watching over us, created us, and is completely undetectable.
.
Yes, we all are truly going to hell for being logical, moral, and philosophically sound people…that’s what a just god does.
.
RAmen,
.
P.E.T.
There we go again - another Christian who proves the majority are idiots - why do you feel the need to come here to tell us you believe we’re going to burn in hell? Nobody gives a flying fuck what you believe buddy and neither should we. You are under the same impression as the vast majority of religious people - you seem to think that we should respect your beliefs by constantly throwing them in our face. Get this in your thick skull - nobody cares about you’re beliefs - you show nothing but absolute ignorance and malice towards others by writting something like this. Get over yourself; nobody gives a fuck what your personal beliefs are (and while you’re at it keep it out of the goddamned schools; if you want to retard your children at home by all means do so).
suck my balls,
Dereck.
How in a minimum of 11 years of English class did anonymous miss learning about sarcasm? anonymous, you may very well be right that the human race is coming to an end. We’ve never had the knowledge that would enable a few people to kill everyone on this planet until 60 years ago. The world will still be here long after it is no longer suitable for human habitation thought. This means billions of years. Hell isn’t so bad. Hellfire to cook my pasta and the holy sauce, stale beer (but still beer), and plenty of company (many rock and roll greats, scientists like Newton, the Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and many others as well).
Why the bible? Why not the Quran? Or the torah? Which one of those is right? Which one should i choose? What is the meaning of like? Aaaaaa……
How many of you retards have been predicting the end of the world over the years? It’s simply fucking amazing that someone who claims to love God and His creation is soooo looking forward to it being destroyed. You disgust me.
Someone doesn’t get the idea of satire.
Nor does this someone understand that threatening non-Christians with hell is like threatening Christians with being banned from Asgard.
And didn’t the Bible say Jesus would return before his generation passed away? Seems he’s a bit late, eh?
Does the concept of sarcasm go right over your head? Read the comment just before yours by a pastor of your religion, it might show you what this is all really about.
Bobby please do me a favour and stop posting shit like this up - all it does is piss everybody off. Let the retard’s words fall on deaf ears please. By posting his words you encourage these pretend Christians to continue spewing their vaginal discharge of ideas from minds that have de-evolved from apes. There is a reason that IQ is negatively correlated with Religion - this site should be dedicated to our ideals of equality and peace not this fucking garbage. RAmen!
Hehe. Yet another ‘do as we say or you’ll burn FOREVER!’ Christian. I find it funny how you say that Jesus Christ is your savior then say that we are all going to burn in Hell in the same sentence.
.
Goober-head!
“I pray that someone around you will show you the Bible someday soon…”
Oh, believe me, they have. I think the whole horse and water argument applies here. Especially when the water is stagnant.
………………………………..”Epic”
Hey, he/she is absolutely right! I also agree that everything after that first sentence “is a bunch of complete nonsense” Welcome to Pastafarianism, anonymous! Oh and congratulations on the recent attacks on those Scientology whackos, or was that a different anonymous (I never can tell.)
Another one of these great emails from someone that doesn’t read or understand. Why is the same thing getting posted over and over. Fine we are all going to Hell because you condemned us there. The other 1,000,000 emails were ignored, but yours finally kicked your Jesus in the ass and we are all going to rot now.
If people would read and actually use their brains I don’t think so many would rely on the Bible as an argument.
MLB
Better to rule in hell than serve in heaven…
I haven’t got anything to say to that. My words would obviously have no effect on you.
I hope some day, you are introduced to the Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, so you can at long last see the truth, and reach salvation. If not, you’re going to pasta hell.
Why post anonymously? Just make up a name like the rest of us!
As for the rest, well duh… It’s irony - look it up.
Also, just a note to all that we named our new cat “Noodle” in honor of the FSM.
I’m starting to take these threats of eternal damnation as a compliment. Thank you anonymous!!!
i think thats sad, you come to a site, bash other peoples beliefs and threaten them with your belief systems punishment, do you attack buddists and anyone else who doent believe in a god that rapes virgins to make martyrs? I think your bible is more of a sanctamonius pile of shit then this, but at least we know who created FSM and there intentions, the bible was written by who? the long lost disciples of someone, MAYBE and its full of inconsistancys and murder.. you my friend can pray to your god that you can get into heaven or hell, i will live happy knowing that i will not be haunted by threats of Eternal fire and brimstone.
Clear concience and without un-wanted pity.
Shilo Butler, unafraid to say who i am!
What makes you so sure you’re not going to hell with us and that the Muslims had it right all along? Or even that WE are the right religion and that you’re wrong?
We can certainly provide evidence to support our claims, just look at the sings FSMs followers have been recieving!
RAmen!
“you’re all going to hell”
i think we should all go here this summer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell%2C_Michigan
We can call it Pastafarians Burn in Hell 2008
Anonymous, why is it that the FSM signals the end of the world? Is it our entire universe that is going to end? Or is it just the earth where we live? Is going to hell meant to be a way of motivating nonbelievers to believe christian theology as opposed to FSM?
already been shown the bible. a bit preachy, but the stories are really interesting. would never use it to guide my beliefs. FSM, in my not so humble opinion, is better for that. and theologically makes as much sense as the bible.
Where is this magical Bible that all these people keep telling me to look at? I’ve read quite a few Bibles and found them nothing more than a collection of stories, fairy tales, poetries and ramblings of a few generations of tribal peoples. Where is this Bible that causes my brain to fall out, accept nonsense over reason and believe there is a highly improbable sky daddy ready to spank me for not knowing his superstitious form existed?
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Satire is a word you should look up.
.
Also, how chicken-shit must you be to sign something “anonymous?” You must not be that confident in your beliefs if you are afraid to back them up with your real name.
Love,
John
Yes a “Your going to hell” hate mail, they are my favorite. If only Jeebus were here, he could save me.
Good, we were short one person for a titillating game of “missing the whole fucking point.”
I saw the bible. It was a fairy tale. Oh, and who are you agreeing with? Nobody here, that’s for sure.
Seen the Bible.
After heavy personal debate, I found it just wasn’t right for me.
The FSM, on the other hand…
RAmen!
OK,
I agree that this is a bunch of complete nonsense. All you people who actually think that a Holy Ghost created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end. I pray that someone around you will show you the direct corelation of less pirates = thining ozone someday soon and that you turn to Flying Spaghetto Monster, because if not, you’re all going to burn here on this earth as if it were that terrible place named hell in that scienceless fiction book, The holey BUY-BULL.
with pity,
Always remember to sprinkle a little grated stinky cheese upon the FSM. Mmmm so tasty
“All you people who actually think that a flying spaghetti monster created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end.”
.
If you truly believe that this is the beginning of the end of the world, I feel sorry for you. I really do. The world has been around long before us and it will outlive us by a long shot. That you believe that we are the be all and end all of creation is an insult to nature and life itself.
.
“I pray that someone around you will show you the Bible someday soon and that you turn to Jesus Christ our savior so God can have mercy on your souls, because if not, you’re all going to hell.”
.
Yeah, yeah! We’re going to Hell, what else is new?
Why are these xtians so sure that we are bringing the world to an end???? And why are they so sure we have never read the bible??? Actually, I’m pretty sure (as in my case) that reading the bible is a major contributing factor to a lot of us being here
(Hmmm I used the word ’sure’ quite a lot there…oops, did it again)
OK,
I agree that this god thing is a bunch of complete nonsense. All you people who actually think that a Holy Ghost created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end. I pray that someone around you will show you the direct correlation between less pirates and a thinning ozone someday soon and that you turn to the FSM, because if not, we’re all going to live on an earth that is like the hell place in that scienceless fiction holey BUY-BULL book
with great fear,
Always show your respect to the FSM…sprinkle some grated stinky cheese on it. MMmmmm so tasty
I agree that this god thing is a bunch of complete nonsense. All you people who actually think that a Holy Ghost created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end. I pray that someone around you will show you the direct correlation between less pirates and a thinning ozone someday soon and that you turn to the FSM, because if not, we’re all going to live on an earth that is like the hell place in that scienceless fiction holey BUY-BULL book
with great fear,
Always show your respect to the FSM…sprinkle some grated stinky cheese on it. MMmmmm so
Actually, and this is absolutely true, Jesus himself is a Pastafarian. He is guiding my fingers as I write this. It is an amazing feeling.
Lame.
‘
“Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I’m expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside. “
shit, why did noone bring this up before?! I had no idea, thank you for letting us know, we must all change our ways guys with this new piece of information.
read it… pretty stupid book full of lots of scary stuff designed to scare people into conforming, and taking power away from the real Christians in Rome. written back in 450AD before they knew the earth was round, and the sun was the center of the solar system (things that you would be killed for disagreeing with) and stuff… yeah…. Great way to guide your life… as we can see from your judgmental comments. Thanks for making our point for us though. It helps our cause.
I’ve seen the Bible!! Have you seen the Gospel?
Ah… hell, how are the winters there? Because it’s cold here in ohio and I could really go for a warm climate change. Thanks for the well wishes anonymous!
RAmen!
How exactly will I make the world end faster? Everyone who sends a e-mail in keeps telling us that.
RAmen,
Bobert
Our beliefs our everywhere just as valid as your’s, maybe even more seeing as how a Flying Spaghetti Monster did create the universe
Congratulations on knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Quite a refreshing change.
PS. Someone did show me the Bible once. It made a great placemat for my ravioli.
Why are so many Christians cursing the world to end?
I have seen the bible and the pages within made perfect rolling papers!! Thank you FSM!
There is no difference between the God and the Flying Spagetti Monster, don’t you see? God is looking like a usual man — and the Monster looks like a usual spagetti. Christians cannot imagine unusual and powerfull spagetti — and it is difficult for me to imagine a man, who can make marvels and lives somewhere in the sky (where is he living, if all the sky is occupied by satellites, planes, space stations and so on?). I’m thinking that it easy for a wishing biologist to make up an evil or a Spagetti Monster, but neither one nor another would be able to make marvels — they both would be modified animals or humans, no more. If Christian thinks behavior of God is different from behavior of the Monster it is not a reason to say that it doesn’t exist — it exists but was misunderstood, so create your own secta, believing in the same Monster.
Christians, start believing in THE SPAGETTI MONSTER!!! At least, noone will be able to say that The Monster harmed the humanity by wars.
RAmen.
P.S. If it doesn’t matter what the god(the monster) looks like and what is its name, then islamists, christians and all religious people can start believing in the monster. The only difference will be how many “better you wouldn’t do it”, where, and to whom did the Monster give. So we can bravely decide that the Monster has went down to give the rules to people several times, and each time the people couldn’t see him enough well to understand what is HE like — and thought out their own picture.
Yes it is nonsense. I agree fully with you. It is nuts to believe in superstitious nonsense (including your superstitious nonsense).
Another Christian nut condemning us to Hell and they wonder why so many people have issues with Christians. Oh yeah, Christians have been claiming the world will end for centuries so when you say it we can all take it as a grain of salt. Also, wise up, when revelations was written John most likely was referring to the Roman emperor Nero in which his name when converted to a numeric value is 666. He thought he world would end thousands of years ago when he was exiled.
.
Additionally, you prove to be another hypocrite of your religion because a true follower would not be going to websites and telling people they are going to hell of which I do not believe in. Condemning us to hell is nothing but pure hatred.
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Keep your pity to yourself because you are a very sad excuse for a human being. I hope you do something to you qualify for the Darwin Awards. The human race would be better off without your dna in the gene pool.
RAmen!
Christians, islamists, other religious people — what is the difference between Monster, God and Allah? God and Allah are said to look like people — I sooner think that the people who met them, couldn’t see them well and made their appearance up. So it could easily be that the Monster is also the God and the Allah at the same time and that the Monster has come down to the Earth the same quantity of times how many different religions exist. Each time he made up the rules for people on their language and this is why the rules are different. People at the time when he visited them didn’t know what spagetti look like and couldn’t understand what the Monster looks like — so they made up human-like appearence. Now the truth is found! Religion is one for all the world — this is belief in The Freat Flying Monster.
Religions of all countries, turn into sects of The FSM!
P.S. The funnier your God will be, the easier it will be for atheists to destroy the religion. But the larger the quantity of religions will be, the difficultier it will be for religion (nonsence) to make the government to fight with science and evolution (sence).
gold? i don’t quite understand why a religious belief other than your own is proof that the world is coming to an end. do you consider buddhism, hinduism, or judaism proof as well?
They actually signed their name “anonymous” ?????? Well, at least they spelled it right.
I fart on your bible and laugh in the face of the hell I am supposedly destined for. The FSM is the true path! May you learn the error of your ways and be touched by his noodly appendage.
RAmen.
lololol, apparently christians are not evolved enough to understand the concept of “Parody”
Yes…because a joke will most truly damn your eternal soul…. *sigh*
Using my noodly appendage, I have transformed this drivel into sense! Behold:
“OK, I agree that this is a bunch of complete nonsense. All you people who actually think that a flying [white guy with a beard] created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end. I pray that someone around you will show you the [Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster] someday soon and that you turn to [Him] our savior so [FSM] can have mercy on your souls, because if not, you’re all going to hell. [where the strippers are unattractive, and the beer domestic]
with pity,
anonymous”
Viola! Another convert!
*sobs hysterically*
Dear noodly Fsm, why do you send these repetitious, illiterate fools in droves to your holy website?
seriously, how many times can they say the same thing, akmost word for word
i am starting to believe that this is all the work of one truly deranged schizophrenic
because how could so many, be so bloody stupid?
-RAmen
Have you not considered reading the evidence section of the site? There are at least 100 hundred persons with Ph.Ds out there claiming FSM is REAL!! I believe it, so therefore it is the REAL truth.
RAmen
I have some serious trouble comprehending the assumptions that most of the hater out there make about atheists (or Pastafarians). They seem to assume that we are all fundamentally evil and amoral monsters all rightfully bound for hell. I am a proud atheist who lives a life which is by anybody’s standard “moral” and “good”. I have read the bible and I can say with confidence that my moral standards are very high; I don’t cheat, steal, lie, cause intentional harm to others, discriminate, hate… I don’t think that any “good” God could condemn me or the majority of atheists out there to hell for simply refusing to believe Him due to lack of any empirical scientific evidence (but are otherwise are good moral people).
Anon,
The FSM is a deity which was made up to mock the idea of a deity. It was made to show that the FSM is just as un-disprovable as your god.
At least, that’s my understanding of it.
Sincerely,
Pwnzerfaust
um, dude, shove it up ur ass. cuz no one here cares what you have to say.
may you be blessed by his noodly appendage.
Peace love and pirates
Ramen
OK,
I agree that this god thing is a bunch of complete nonsense. All you people who actually think that a Holy Ghost created us are just confirmation that this world is soon coming to an end. I pray that someone around you will show you the direct correlation between less pirates and a thinning ozone someday soon and that you turn to the FSM, because if not, we’re all going to live on an earth that is like the hell place in that scienceless fiction holey BUY-BULL book
with great fear,
Always show your respect to the FSM…sprinkle some grated stinky cheese on it. MMmmmm so tasty!
Hm. Doesn’t sound like a letter from /b/ at all.
Oh…
he(she?) means /that/ sort of anonymous.
Ahh yes, hell! So much cooler than boring clouds where you have to watch out for aircraft. I think that hell may be there simply for his noodely goodness to cook more noodles. Afterall, if he doesn’t have enough noodles to hold everyone down, we would be really tall. So hurray for hell! Also, there are not enough seats in heaven, you have to stand the whole time.
Ramen!
People who try to convert me to bible-based religeons usually recieve the blessing of knowing what my door looks like from the outside. It’s a very special and unique gift, given to people I don’t particularly care for.
Allow the good people here to collectively give you this gift, and a wedgie for good measure.
I’ll be sure to request you as a public servant sometime when I get into heaven, seeing as you’ll surely spend some time in hell with a selfish attitude like that.
Also, with a group of people as smart as the ones here, even if we do go to hell, we’ll end up with AC, computers, a new internet, robot servants, beer and strippers to occupy our time.
So, I ask you, for the fate of the world and maybe the universe: convert to Pastafarianism, become a pirate, and help save it all one noodle at a time.
I personally love the FSM.
For those who chose to go about and bash and send the hoards of Hate mail…consider
“None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it.”
A quote from the Open letter to the Kansas School Board.
Sound familiar?
Oh joy, I’m going to hell. Oh well, I’ll see my fellow Pastafarians there, along with Plato, Aristotle, Gandhi, Einstein, Virgil, Tesla, oh woe is me, to go to see people who epitomized logic and reason. You know, regardless of how much faith you have in your God, there’s nothing different about your God and our FSM. There’s no concrete empirical evidence either exists, so both an argumentum ad ignorantiam, and neither can fall to any more of a reduction to the absurd. (Wow… I feel like I’ve said this before… “humm…”) Anyway because our beliefs are BELIEFS and neither backed up by anything, you fail to prove why your religion is somehow right and ours is wrong. Get off your high horse, Pastafarians and Christians are the same, we have equally valid beliefs! We’ve got a book to say the FSM created everything, you’ve got one saying God created everything, there’s no empirical evidence to say that your god is any more valid than the FSM. It’s people like you who give Christians a bad name, “If you don’t believe what we do, you’re going to hell!”… believe what you want, but DONT go forcing those beliefs on others. Oh well, if Christianity turns out to be true, I’m still glad I’ll be in better company in hell than in heaven with guys like you who have nothing better to do than impose their non-empirical beliefs on others.
Anonomous: I probably know the holy babble better than you do, along with the Koran and the Torah. After all, it is reading the various so called holy books that helped me realise that it was just a man made bronze aged myth. I hope that one day you will truly read the babble and see it for the contradictory nonsense it is and free yourself to live your own life in this one instead of worrying about what will happen when you are worm food.
Just a few unrelated observations:
1. Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Oral Roberts and Benny Hinn are other reliable sources that can be used to support your belief that we have come the end of time. “The end of time” that is actually relevant, I suspect, should be specified as the end of THEIR time.
2. If you contact just about any six Rastafarians, I think you will discover that many of them own bibles, but having actually read the mighty tome, now use it (them) as door stops. I own two, not counting my newly acquired Book of Mormon (it is a riot-give it a try).
3. If Jesus Christ is such a savior, why did he focus his message on Iron Age Palestine. Everyone prior to that time, and everyone geographically isolated from that worldwide crossroad (such as those in China, Mongolia, the South Pacific and basically the rest of the world) missed his message. They then died. Now, they are now roasting in hell enjoying perpetual renewed torture by fire because of their inability to sign up with your savior. According to your bible, all of the good people who died before, or out of reach of, Jesus’s message are presenly roasting along with the actively evil deceased. Our noodly master would never condemn the good and innocent.
4. My noodly master will save us all, even Jerry Falwell. He will send us to a place where beer comes up out of the ground and where there is a never ending source of fresh free-range strippers. We will be happier than a pigs in butter.
How Christ-like.
nearly every reply here looks like it was made by rednecks! i don’t believe in FSM, i am (sortoff) christian. but we can do better than just threaten them with hell!
If you’re in heaven I’d rather not go there thank you. You’d bore me to tears real soon.
How does a telepathic zombie who is his own father make more sense than the FSM? And people have always acted nonsensically. Really. It’s not a sign of the endtimes; it’s just how people are.
And please, don’t suck out and sign anonymously. If you truly believe your stuff is right, stand for it! Be MENSCH!
Maybe if you actually read the Bible instead of just showing it to everyone, you’d realize that you don’t know what you’re talking about. Even in your perverted depiction of His noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, that you call God, His message is that of love, not of hate. Of tolerance, not of bigotry. By calling our true religion nonsense, and talking about hell, you are betraying the spirit of His message. If your hateful inerpretation of Him was true, you’d be going to hell, but luckily for you, He will forgive. I only hope one day you will be touched by His noodly appendage and realize the error of your ways.
.
Ramen.
Thanks for the warning
What part of the word ‘parody’ do you fail to understand?
With laughter,
Marc
Oh I have seen the bible. Yet I turned around and all I saw was a bowl of pasta. So perhaps as I have actual proof of my beilief and I do not base it soley on eons of mis-truths and a book riddled with mistakes due to chinese whispers. But dear friend I respect your right to believe what ever it is you want to belive, and for you doing so I do not think you are going to end up in a bowl of pasta sauce wishing you had known better. Ahh the luxury of having an open mind.
Oh, I have seen the bible, as have most of us. It is a quite interesting story book but some of the stories reveal a very serious case of mental illness on the part of it’s author. I mean, what’s with all that killing, hating and forbidding non-sense? You need a very crazy mind to come up with such filth…yuck!
And apparently you need an equally crazy mind to think it is real xD
I didn’t know that not being Christian made the end of the world get closer and closer. I’m pretty sure that the Bible hasn’t got that written in it anywhere. Is there some passage somewhere that I’m overlooking? It was a big, boring book so i probably missed a couple of pages.
“OK, I agree that this is a bunch of complete nonsense.”
With whom? If you just come here and start with “OK, I agree…” you won’t seem very logical.
Are you talking to us without us knowing it?
Do we agree that the FSM is nonsense? I don’t.
“All you people who actually think that a flying… yada yada yada, we’re all gonna die.”
Personally, I don’t think that a flying spaghetti monster is any less of a deity than a dude who got himself killed, but then he wasn’t dead after all, but wasn’t alive either. Sounds like Days of Our Lives crossed over with Resident Evil.
Sounds cool, but isn’t.
“I pray that someone around you will show… yada yada, you’re going to hell.”
What’ll happen to the Dalai Lama when he dies? Hell? What about Ghandi?
Sure, you can say they just go to Limbo, but don’t you think that’s still a little harsh?
Or what about those atheists who don’t eat kitten hearts?
Like, real people?
Are they gonna suffer forever too, or are they gonna go to heaven with nutbags like you?
Either way, it’s an unfair punishment for you God not giving enough evidence of His(?) existence.
Unlike the FSM, of course. He has given innumerous amounts of unquestionable evidence.
I pray that someone around you will show you the Gospel of the FSM someday and that you turn to the pirates, our saviors so FSM can have mercy on your soul(s?), because if not, you’re going to hell.
Also, my first post, and GOLD!
Yours truly,
Earl.
RAmen.
I would first of all like to compliment you on your calm choice of wording, and decent punctuation. I wish to inform you, that, wait for it, I have been shown a bible, in fact, throughout the course of my short life (16 years) i have owned 3 of them (gift’s form people trying to convert me), and have probably read more of it than many people who call themselves Christians. Reading holy text’s only reaffirmed my then atheism. As a person of highly scientific background, I found the bible lacking. I am quite proud to say, that a bunch of 14 and 15 year olds managed to hold in depth discussions about theology (the teacher of the English class was not impressed, we all still passed any way) the type of discussion that many parts of America would benefit from no end, even though, no person was converted by either view, opinions were exchanged without either party feeling ostracized, and all participants remained friends, or often became friends. I see very little of those attempts here, normally because the members of other religions who choose to come here usually attack us, those few who genuinely com, and attempt to be peaceful such as this example http://www.venganza.org/2008/01/24/as-a-moderate-christian-pastor.htm create a sharing of good will, even if out views on certain subjects vary, the few people who were aggressive, are most likely harbor a true hatred of Christianity, possibly derived from people such as yourself, who attempt to indoctrinate people who do not wish to be, most ironically, at our equivalent of a church. Which reminds me, you don’t see us IN you churches, trying to preach our views to you, and belittle your views, may i repeat, we don’t go in your church and assault you, in fact, on the frequent occasions I am within a Christian church, I do my utmost to respect the establishment and your views. I ask you, and other members of religions with different views, to please, respect our place of worship, as we respect yours. Also, may you please express your views in a non aggressive form, to those willing to listen, plenty of atheists, pastafraians or members of other religions re perfectly willing to discuss theology with people of the christen faith
May the fsm touch you with his noodly appendages, failing that, can he please grant you the ability to present your views at the correct place, at the correct time, in the correct manner.
RAmen
Alocai, a pirate of both movies and music.
*Yawns* I think one of the real signs of the world coming to an end is when the anonymous hate mail condemning everyone to hell gets so damn repetitive. Come on all you people out there with no sense of humour, say something original for a change! How about a description of Satan’s favourite tortures for Pastafarians or something? (Presumably involving drowning you in superheated bolognese sauce?)
Or, y’know, you could all grow up and get one of those senses of humour instead. Just a suggestion y’all.
RAmen.
These emails are so hilarious, that sometimes I doubt if they are not a joke.
I mean, as we pastafarians are making fun of those people, it may well be that those emails are from people making fun of us…
confused? me too…
I just can’t believe people can say things like this. I hope you are under 10 years old, otherwise jeeez man, open your eyes.
Sigh.
Don’t pity us. We all share a commonality that brings us closer. We are a community of people that are loving and caring. We love everyone, even the Bible-thumpers that always insist we are going to hell.
I’ve *read* the Bible, thanks. I don’t need to be shown around it. I even know a bit about theology. I’ve also read Revelation in detail.
There ain’t nothing in there about pasta. Nothing.
There’s quite a bit about warmongers spreading pestilence across the world, though. If you’re gonna read signs and portents, I’d say ole Bushy Boy is about as big a portent as you’re gonna get.
On the other hand, you could cheer up and be touched by his Noodly Appendage. I can testify that he’s certainly made my soul saucy.
Hello, Mr. Anonymous. I assume that the title of your post refers to its contents, since it is certainly an accurate description thereof. I have ranted elsewhere on the subject of a blind god who will welcome an axe-murderer into heaven if he says he’s sorry, but condemn the nicest, most generous person to hell for not groveling sufficiently. Here’s the short version: screw off, and take your imaginary deity with you.
Well Anonymous,
You are entitled to your opinion, though I assume that while you are attacking our faith you are similarly assaulting the beliefs of the other ~4 Billion people in the world that are in fact not Christian. If not then you are just being a hypocrite.
RAmen
And i hope the noodle will descend and light up your heart with tomato sauce and pasta goodness
And i hope his noodles will touch the warm depths of your heart with saue and pasta goodness.
So typically stupid that does not even deserve a reply.
.
But, as I am in a good mood, I just tell you, anonymous, that most of us have read the bible and know it far better than you do.
.
RAmen
No we’re going to Heaven; there are Beer Vulcanoes!
But um… what do you ‘actually think’?
Just proof me that the world wasn’t created by the FSM and I’m outa here.
Where to begin? I’ve read the Holey Bibble and I don’t remember reading anywhere that belief in the FSM should be taken as “confirmation” that the world was ending. Perhaps its in Judges. That book kind of drags and I might have missed it.
Your prayers, while hopefully well intentioned, are not necessary. It is safe for you to assume that folks around here have heard of this Jesus that you speak of, and all of his Holey Mackerals. Its too bad folks didn’t just take his advice, but instead tried to turn him into a god.
I have heard hell described as a separation from god. If this is true, then you Anonymous are already there. Too bad too, because you could have tried to figure some things out for yourself, rather than try to tell other people how to live and believe.
And I was having such a good day. I can’t believe people can be so stupid, no I take that back, I can. Evidently no one really bothers to read the website or can recognize good sarcasm.
I was shown the Bible… and I read it. The Bible consists of the same amount of proof confirming it as the legit Word as well as the Gospel of the FSM. Therefore, they both have to be real since they’re typed in ink stating that it’s the real deal… but I prefer to worship the one that’s less a-hole-ish, rational… and yummy.
I had to learn christianity for 3 summers in a row. i read the bible every day, we had too. And i was read part of the bible yesterday, and found out that if it were true, i’m going to hell in 8 different ways. One more thing: If God loves us all as you say, why would he end the world?
I learned christianity 3 summers in a row bud, and i thought a lot of it was ridiculous, and i was ages 9-12 then. I was also read passages of the bible yesterday by a friend, and found out that i’m going to hell in 8 different ways. One question for you: If God loves us so much, why is he supposedly going to “end the world”?
Dear anonimous,
I hope somone will show you the bible someday, as it says to “Love thy neighbor”. It also says not to judge people. In addition I wouldnt mind hell much, as it has strippers and beer (be them vd and stale).
.
Sincerely Yours,
.
Somone Obvously More Schooled In Your Religion Then You
Anonymous again? Where on the intartron do you not live?
It’s funny how a Christian tries to convert us, but a Satanist just flips us off and leaves us alone.
The world is coming to an end. Luckily, it’s an extremely slow process.
the fact that “the faithfull” still haven’t realized that their ignorant views and unfounded ideas about the world ARE going to bring the end is what scares me. the idea that ANYTHING except probablity created the world is rediculous…so the noodley wonderfulness is just as LOGICAL to pray to as your Jewish carpenter born to a virgin…yeah…
uuhhhhhh….the fact that “the faithfull” still haven’t realized that their ignorant views and unfounded ideas about the world ARE going to bring the end is what scares me. the idea that ANYTHING except probablity created the world is rediculous…so the noodley wonderfulness is just as LOGICAL to pray to as your Jewish carpenter born to a virgin…yeah…
Actually, and this is the truth, Jesus himself is a Pastafarian. I know this because he is guiding my fingers as I type this. The feeling is amazing and almost impossible to believe.
Mhm. One word:
“Satire.”
I’ve read the bible. Also read the book of morman… So far none of it makes any more sense than the Gospel of the FSM
Dear anonymous (if that is your real name),
I have seen a bible. That is exactly why I am here thank you.
1) Your savior, not, NOT “ours”
2) Your Hell, you burn in it
3) Who are you agreeing with?
4) The Great FSM is much more believable than some giant old man, or a white Jesus in the Muslim and Black Middle East and Africa.
Hang on a sec, doesn’t the argument go that Jesus died for our sins and with the death and resurrection all sins past, present and future were washed away? Therefore by that argument no one, no matter what we do will ever got to hell.
Yippee cold beer and gorgeous strippers await for all…
RAMEN
See how I mixed my metaphors? good eh?
Nobody said That Religion should meke sense right? I mean YOU should know it, And For the bible, I have read it, A few times, I find it amusing for a Book that old And So patched up