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As an agnostic Buddhist

Published December 25th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

As an agnostic Buddhist, I have to say there is not one speck of the FSM religious belief system that I find troublesome if it is to be taught in public schools alongside intelligent design. The FSM system of beliefs makes perfect sense to me (I recently realized I have many daily rituals that follow the Pastafarian scripture, as I have always loved pirates, strippers, and beer, and do enjoy a good marinara. I have no problem with my son being taught the divine nature of these things), and even though Buddhism certainly won’t be taught in southern US schools, I whole heartedly support the FSM theory be taught along side of intelligent design.

Our children must see both the noodle and the meatball in order to find their way. You certainly shouldn’t study ID without FSM. I also would like to suggest that teachers who are to speak the words of the gospel should do so in a respectable way, by dressing as either the pope, a priest or nun while teaching ID (out of respect of course) and then to dress as a pirate while teaching FSM theory as not to offend the Pastafarians. When speaking any words of the gospel of the FSM, they should of course do that in pirate-speak, to do so any other way, would be offensive.

Of course when discussing global warming in science class, both the scientific theory presented by Al Gore in “An Inconvenient Truth”, AND the MP (missing pirate) theory of global warming should be taught side by side as well (if there is equally compelling evidence in the ID texts that there is an alternate theory specifically directed at global warming in ID, that should of course be allowed equal time).
-anima8or



44 Responses to “As an agnostic Buddhist”

  1. Anim8or says:

    To answer a couple of the questions.

    1. Agnostic Buddhism means that we believe in the Buddhist philosophy, which in a nutshell states that material greed causes most of the pain in the world, I personally believe in Chi (but probably more in the scientific Stephen Hawking, quantum physics way). The Agnostic part is where we are un-sure of the things that can’t be scientifically proven, so we sort of believe what seems “real”, like to me, the idea of Chi going somewhere when you die makes sense ( because Hawking proved that electricity can’t die, and quantum physics pretty much proves that your consciousness is electrical). I do believe in some sort of cosmic guidance, but not some dude with a beard causing everything. I also don’t believe that people get punished in the afterlife, I think the misery your life turns into when you put out too much bad Karma (ie, people thinking you are a dink and treating you as such) is enough.

    2. Buddhist creation myth is actually quite interesting, because it’s close the big bang theory. That all life came from one mass of energy that fractured into independent consciousness, and follows quantum theory very closely as well, in that all things are still connected on the level of Chi (electrical life energy which every eastern religion has words for and we don’t), and consciousness is the electrical energy that flows through the human body. The concept of Karma plays heavily, to me, Karma is the “Swing your arms as wide and fast as you want, just don’t smack anyone while you are doing it”.

    I simply found Buddhism to be based on real analysis of the world using scientific concepts and philosophy of making the world a nice place to live, rather than some guy making up a story to make money, save Rome, or have an excuse to kill people with bigger noses than himself (something that seems to be a running theme of human existence… I think probably related to the “size of a man’s nose, being related to the size of his… you know”)….

    Of course as far as guys making up stories (and I am fairly sure he is a messiah, so he is probably correct, and if he isn’t, I am sure the FSM is stepping in to correct his data as he writes it, so it’s OK in this case) the FSM is the closest thing to a scientific religion I have ever seen in western culture… so I love it, and have no conflict in allowing the FSM to fill in the agnostic side of my Buddhist philosophical beliefs. I was already practicing “talk like a pirate day” even before discovering where it came from. So it was divine intervention.

  2. Jade says:

    RAmen!

  3. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    Wow! Anim8or! You actually responded to us! Yay!
    .
    You have truly been touched by his noodle. Ramen to you, my friend!

  4. jason the amazing whiteboy says:

    well personally, i dont think that intelligent design should be taught in schools, or FSMism for that matter. keep them both out, or have them both in if need be. not just one or the other.

  5. Zekk says:

    Thank you :)

    I am buddhist myself and have long argued that if you want a peacful world, either ban religion, or become wither buddhist or pastafarian. Anyone agree with me or is it just the sugar rush??

    :P

    YOU RULE!

  6. skinimini says:

    RAMEN!! HERE, HERE!

  7. Cap'n Wolf says:

    RAMEN!

  8. Francesc says:

    @ Anim8or

    ehm… i agree with you about the “philosophy of making the world a nice place to live” thing. But I’m sorry it’s the only part of your response I can agree with.

    “I simply found Buddhism to be based on real analysis of the world using scientific concepts ” is silly. The man who invented Buddhism didn’t knew a thing -he couldn’t, provided god’s revelation- about the Big-bang. If it seems accurate to you is because you want it to seem.

    What you are describing to us is a religion? Well, what’s the difference between ID god and the “cosmic guidance”??

    “when you put out too much bad Karma” – can you give us a prove that Karma exists? It’s a statistic correlation between “bad actions” and “bad luck? So, in wich way that’s a scientific approach?

    “the idea of Chi going somewhere when you die makes sense ( because Hawking proved that electricity can’t die, and quantum physics pretty much proves that your consciousness is electrical)”
    - ok, that was good…
    1.- To establish a link between quantum physics and any philosophy/religion is bullshit. quantum physics doesn’t speaks about consciousness…
    2.- What’s the Chi? Have you seen his effects? Wich are his properties? It’s more scientific than christian’s soul?
    3.- Electricity can’t die… ok, a vast majority of our atoms will still be here hundreds of years after our decease; in fact, the atoms I was born with aren’t more in my body, but they still exists somewhere. You are doing the same with that “electricity”

    So, I was meaning that Buddhism is a religion, and I would like you to see that it’s as nonsense -in scientific terms- as any other religion. As it is FSM. You can believe in it but not prove it.

    RAmen

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