wow you people are crazy i pray to my LORD jesus christ that you people wake up God created man in his own image and im sorry but if you look like noodles with meatballs growin out your BUTT you need to go back to SPACE or get back in the pan where you’ll be somebodys dinner!
people will believe anything!!
i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!
i hate to be the breaker of bad news but when you look around when u die u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL and i am a REAL christian and that hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell! over a random guy that started a joke and has nothing better to do besides make up some god for fun then see how many people are loving this idea.
God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!
-christy
He thinks we’re crazy while communicating telepathically with his invisible friend?
.
“homeschooled” Yeah, I guessed that.
.
“hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell” Yes, your god is very mean and pompous and not really very fair to people.
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There is this key called ‘Shift’ on your keyboard. Try using it.
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It makes me sad that a self-proclaimed believing Christian is so full of hatred and intolerance at this time of the year! I hope that His noodly appendage will touch you and guide you to tolerance, peace and love for all human beings on this world, no matter what they believe.
Oh yes, and 1st post! :D
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Pretty poor homeschooling there.
-no correct use of capitalization
-run on sentences
-lack of punctuation
-overuse of exclamation mark
-incorrect spelling of spaghetti, monster, very, growing, whacked
p.s. god is just as made up as the FSM
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people will believe anything!!
~
You’re right, including an invisible man in the sky who made the universe and everything in it.
~
Merry Christmas to all the Pastafarians out there.
Mariner
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”i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled”
It looks like whomever home schooled Christy did a very poor job. Just look at the spelling and punctuation!
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Come on, this has to be a Pastafarian sending a joke hate mail.
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“you people”-why is it always “you people?”
At first I thought christy had left us a code, kinda like the Da Vinci code “LORD BUTT SPACE HELL REAL” I looked closely for a while but then it occurred to me christy is just mental.
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Hmm. The problem with hatemail is that the writers say something then metaphoricly leave the room. So what I’m about to say is irrelevent. Wait…
**wow you people are crazy i pray to my LORD jesus christ that you people wake up God created man in his own image and im sorry but if you look like noodles with meatballs growin out your BUTT you need to go back to SPACE or get back in the pan where you’ll be somebodys dinner!**
Okay, so not only is this an affront to basic grammer, it is an attack on what other people beleave is true. How would you like it if Pastafarians started slagging off God? But they don’t, and you seem to be doing so to them. At the moment, it looks like Pastafarians have the moral high-ground.
**people will believe anything!!**
Including a bearded man who lives on a cloud, whose followers and himself mean well, but some take it too far?
**i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!**
The problem is FSM isn’t taught by schools. Pastafarians WANT their version of intelligent design taught in schools if ID is taught as a science.
**i hate to be the breaker of bad news but when you look around when u die u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL and i am a REAL christian and that hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell! over a random guy that started a joke and has nothing better to do besides make up some god for fun then see how many people are loving this idea.**
How do you know that? Are you some sort of classical hero, with ability to cross between this world and What Ever Comes After? Even so, how do you know that good Pastafarians won’t go to their own version of heaven?
**God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!
-christy**
May God, Allah, FSM, Brahmen and all the others bless you and your belief system. I beleave, if not anything, in tolerance, and only have respect to religions that allow other religions.
From Bristol, UK, the birthplace of piratey language, merry christmas ya’ll!
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“…but when you look around when u die…”
.
Not sure that looking around is the very first concern of someone who’s
-about to die
-dying
-dead
.
Not really good publicity for homeschooling either, I’m afraid. Anyway:
.
Merry and Happy Whatever-You-Want-To-Celebrate to all Pastafarians!
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Whether a joke or not, this letter helped me fully appreciate just how important punctuation really is. I actually had to read it a couple of times before realizing what she was trying to say. My first reaction was that we were trying to wake yhwh up. If he’s just slept throughout history that explains why there has not been any evidence of his existance. Can I copyright a belief system, because I bet you people will fall for that.
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It’s odd that (except for Pastafarians) people who are defending their beliefs are the most vicious and intolerant of others. Pastafarians don’t, as far as I know, send hate mail to other religious websites and make fun of what they believe.
Some of my friends today are celebrating Christmas, some Festivus, some the passing of the solstice a few days ago, some are watching movies, some enjoying their families, etc., but I don’t think anyone I know is spending the holiday season spewing acid about what the others are doing. And that’s the difference between those who have been touched by His Noodly Appendage and those who have not. Honestly, can’t we all just get along?
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Not only am i sure it’s the barer of bad new, but home schooling means that you only got the education that your one sided parents wanted you to get, and not the education that you properly deserve. There for you have no idea what your talking about. Just because “god’ made people in his image doesn’t mean that FSM made us in his. Oh, and the fact that you are a “REAL” Christian scares us. Well I’m a REAL Pastafarian and you will get STALE BEER!
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PLEASE – can someone send us some mail (made up or not) where we can’t
.
1) Make fun of the spelling, punctuation and grammar
2) Take out every reference to “god” and substitute FSM and have it make just as much sense, assuming it made sense in the first place which is a BIG assumption
3) Has at least a little bit of internal logic that isn’t based on laughable premises
.
I mean really, “these people” have had well over 2000 years to come up with one good argument. I think the problem is that up till a couple of decades ago they had the power to coerce “belief” and so haven’t really thought about it.
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She says she’s a REAL christian? Are there fake christians? Personally, actually, I thought they were all fake. I’ve been trying to ignore them for a long time, hoping they would go away. Alas, it is no longer necessary for me to take my medication. The christians are all real. *sigh* All this time *shaking head* . . .
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Look Christy,
You don’t have to believe in our almighty fsm. I don’t really believe in him either. But non-the less I will not be condemned to hell for that. Why not respect our religion. Just because you don’t agree with pastafarianism it doest’t mean that it’s bad.
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Perhaps therapy amongst your own kind would do you good. May I suggest:
http://www.bettybowers.com/
Betty is so close to Jesus, His Christmas shopping is ruining her credit! And she is, so she claims, a better Christian than you.
or better yet:
http://www.landoverbaptist.com/
Brother Harry’s Bible Study will fit right in with your beliefs. Someone asked BH the following question:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/brotherharry/september2001.html
Q: What is it about Christianity that makes Christians feel exempt from treating people with respect? How did Jesus’ message get so garbled, get stood on its head, get downgraded to simply being “right”? I just don’t get it, but I do know that visiting these boards is not worth darkening my day.
His Answer….
A: Dear Superficial Anal-Retentive One,
What do you expect from us? Consider what we are ordered to do in the Bible. If one of our neighbor’s children is unruly, we are required to go to the townsquare and stone the child until he is dead (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). I have to wonder when was the last stoning in which you participated? Frankly, it’s very difficult to be polite while literally beating the brains out of one’s skull with rock pelting. Rest assured, my wife’s pinky is always raised during a toss, but that’s about as Emily Post as it can get. God also told us to murder homosexuals, witches, adulterers and every living being in any town we invade. He told us to take the women there as our slaves. I have found no way to enslave someone in a polite fashion (allowing them to remove all bracelets before slapping on the irons is the closest I’ve gotten). God wasn’t particularly concerned about etiquette–unless, of course, it had to do with the way we slaughtered animals for Him. Then, his instructions were quite precise.
With the secular, liberal (a/k/a Satanic) laws of today, stoning is outlawed, so we must engage in persecution (always in the name of righteousness) in words, only. Rebuking just doesn’t lend itself to good hosting. I suspect even Ann Landers would concur.
Praying that all men will at least remove their hats before hurling those rocks,
Brother Harry Hardwick
Landover Baptist Church (landoverbaptist.com)
So, Christy, we hope you find your way. Save yourself from torturous cognitive dissonance by spending time with Betty Bowers or Brother Harry. Our Master will always reach out to you with his Noodly Appendage whether you believe in him or not.
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Somehow I feel the same as Spud (Dec 25th, 2007 at 5:21 pm), but what the heck.
For your information, Christy, the FSM created *pasta* in His image (as well as DNA, bushes, tree roots and subatomic strings, but that’s another story). Not us. Who would be as arrogant as to say that they looked the same as their god? *cough*
And He’s not a master meatball, he is made primarily of spaghetti (hence the name) – he just includes meatballs in his Noodly Visage to provide a more interesting and tasty physical form for himself.
Please do your research properly next time.
@Visitor – RAmen, fellow Bristolian! We should both go evangelize some time. >.>
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If you were a real Christian, you would realize that Jesus didn’t care if anyone didn’t believe in him. He wanted people to understand that your religion doesn’t matter, it all matters whether you’re a good person or not.
He didn’t care if people believed in him or not. How about you listen to your Lord Jesus Christ for once.
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I despair of these narrow-minded homeschoolers. They are so narrow-minded that their ears touch as my late father used to say.
All my sprogs were educated at home and have turned out fairly normal and well-balanced. They also have the ability to read and spell and write grammatically. That is because the kind of home education we espoused was that of living in the real world.
Please don’t take the IDiot above as typical.
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“you need to go back to SPACE”
No thank you, we are Pastafarians. Perhaps you meant to address Scientologists?
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Hello, Mr. Christian. Keep one thing in mind. “Thou shalt have no gods before me.”
Your first commandment. That includes that whole “Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged,” thing.
We can laugh at you, while you’re burning right next to us.
RAmen.
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So, you pity me because I’m going to burn in hell, but you’d punch a teacher in the face?
You’re happy to believe the lord of all creation is an old man who lives in the sky, but refuse to accept he may assume the form of a flying spaghetti monster?
You proclaim yourself a REAL christian, but appear not to follow the Christs’s teachings of “Love one another as I have loved you” and “If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn the other cheek and offer it to him also”, to name but two.
You offer us God’s blessing after you have given us your curse.
You are verryyy happy (hope I spelt that correctly), but you come here and disturb my meditations on the nature of the pasta-verse with your inane, ill-informed and illogical rantings.
Indeed, “people will believe anything!!”
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Jean Bart wrote “Not sure that looking around is the very first concern of someone who’s
-dead”
I’ll be looking around for the beer volcanos and stripper factories. And a big plate of pasta please.:)
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@dragon made from clay
Welcome to the church of the FSM to you as a first-time poster. Hang around, post some more if you like.
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I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes! This is truly what makes “believers” so damn funny. I especially enjoyed this one: “people will believe anything!!” These morons are so clueless they have not even figured out that this whole website is making fun of them…yes Christy your “god” must be so proud of you, lol.
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Crazy like a fox! RAmen
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Jesus endorses punching teachers CONFIRMED.
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What a guy. Does he live in a trailer in West Virgina? The backwoods are full of these guys. Amusing to read.
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So we should go into space this time? That makes a change for once from being told to go to Hell, that lovely village in Norway. Same question then: will you provide us tickets for the next space tourism flight? I’d love to go.
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Another example why homeschooling should be banned.
Christy, the saying should be “Hate to be the bearer of bad news” not “breaker of bad news”, you were homeschooled so you lack the intelligence to see the differece.
Also, since you are breaking your own religions commandments I guess you will be burning too.
Another negative side of homeschooling is the lack of comprehension. You must of read the about page because you knew it was made up. However, because your parents did not teach you how to comprehend what you read, you could not figure out the point of the whole thing. Unfortunately, you would need to go back to real school to figure this out.
Only people who can not think for themselves are so threatened by anyone or anything that may go against their belief system.
At the end of the day you pray to a Jewish boy and even in your old testament the Jews are the chosen people. Based on your ignorance you probably condem Jews too while without realizing your Lord is a Jew. Since you must be very confused right now I will end this rant.
When you learn to comprehend what you read go back to the about page and be enlightened.
RAmen!
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Well since I am a masochist, I sure will love eternal bliss in a fiery pit of BDSM
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☠DutchPastaGuy☠ Dec 26th, 2007 at 12:57 am
“That makes a change for once from being told to go to Hell, that lovely village in Norway.”
.
So many broken promises from these *Christians*!
I’ve been checking my letterbox for those tickets tickets to Hell for a year and still no sign! I’m beginning to think that all these *Christians* (the *REAL* trademark ones) are just a bunch of fibbers! :p
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How does “homeskool” work exactly? Is there a bell? Does mom bully you at lunch time? And what about the curriculum? Do you have to do all that crazy nonsense like English, History, Math and Science or can you just do advanced Bible Studies and learn practical skills such as field stripping your AK47 in preparation for Armageddon?
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@DPG
Hello. Why is hell in Norway?
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Some people get home schooled because they can’t meet the requirements for staying in a public/private school. I suspect Christy falls in that cataglory. I would recommend an anger management course for her, not to maybe some english classes as well
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Right. Because believing in a Zombie God who is his own father and requires us to telepathically devout ourselves to him and beg forgiveness for sins that, since he is omniscient, he allows to happen makes soooo much sense.
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Please, do not think this poorly educated religious fundamentalist is a true representation of homeschoolers. My husband and I homeschool our children partially to avoid the throngs of evangelicals running our local public schools and mainly to to provide a sound classical education to our sons. The religious homeschoolers are the vocal minority. The larger percentage of homeschoolers do so for academic or social reasons unrelated to religion, but we are not a loud united front like the Christians.
I would expect my 10 year old son to write with better grammar, punctuation, and clarity than this poster has exhibited. That same son is also well versed in many aspects of Pastafarianism (he does not yet see the appeal of beer and stripper factories so has adapted his view of heaven to include root beer volcanoes and video game factories). We spend many hours every week discussing the mythologies of all the world’s major religions and why neither I nor his father believe in any of them.
I have also taught him about ID, not as an alternative theory, but to give him the necessary knowledge to properly defend evolution when faced with a confrontational ID’er (a situation which, sadly, he has had to face several times already).
Homeschooling allows us to teach our children about evolution, encourage them to read banned books, and helps us give them the tools and confidence to stand up for themselves and young rational freethinkers.
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Crazy and proud XD But what has that got to do with anything?
Plus…are you dissing my looks? -sobs- It’s not MY fault I look sort of…noodly. :(
Anyway, I’m not going to Hell because of Bobby Henderson. If you extreme Christians are right about the whole “BELIEF OR ETERNAL DAMNATION” thing, I’ve been headed for Hell since I was about six. And I’m sorry if it hurts you to “know” I’m going to Hell, but deal with it. If you’re so concerned about others, why don’t you help those suffering NOW instead of wasting your life posting hate messages?
By the way, can you explain the whole “made in God’s image” thing to me? Since I was a kid, I was told God is
a. an old guy with a beard
b. the holy spirit (invisible)
c. Jesus
d. all of us
e. a random floating glowy thing (a glowworm?)
f. the light within (I LIKE Quakers. Quakers rule, especially since they let me be Quaker even without belief in God)
So, are you any or all of the above?
Didn’t think so.
Anyway, did we claim we were made in FSM’s image? I can’t say for sure yet (I got the Gospel for ChriFSMas but haven’t read it yet) but I don’t THINK we do…
By the way, just as a pointer, that is clearly not FSM’s BUTT. I assume your homeschooling didn’t include basic noodle anatomy? A sad deprivation in a child’s education. Noodles don’t even HAVE butts! Your homeschooling clearly also skipped basic English Language, Religious Studies (except Christianity. I think you got an overdose of that), Basic Sense Of Humour Studies (what do you mean, that’s not a real lesson? WHY NOT???? Those poor misguided fundies need our help!) and -ahem- anger management.
However, @iwishyouwouldlearntoreadafarian (which is a very long name, btw o.0), homeschooling could be a positive thing, provided
a. the parents/guardians/tutors are qualified and ready and willing to give a full curriculum, not just share their bigotries and hatred
b. the child honestly can’t cope, either socially or mentally, with school, or finds it impossible to regularly attend school
For example, somebody who travelled all the time, whose mum had a degree and who was learning about the kind of things they need to know, like maths etc and philosophy, RS and all those other things, I would say could reasonably be homeschooled. However, I accept it’s hard to tell from outside if this is the case.
Phew, long post, and after the stress of ChriFSMas I could just…zzzzzzz…
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your saying we’re crazy, because we believe in the FSM. let me get this straight. You believe in Jesus, a man who was resurrected from the dead and reincarnated into the form of a rabbit to give chocolate chicken eggs and fake marshmallow birds to children (which is a main reason for obesity) and then say we’re the crazy ones.
Christians are natural stealer’s. The Christmas tree you hold so dear is actually a Scandinavian tradition back in pagan times. They put evergreens up as a way to remember spring would come.
not only that your main symbol of faith is the thing that killed your supposed lord. would you worship a gun if it killed your lord? considering you are mostly right wing nut-jobs anyway, you probably do.
The problem with Christianity is that you are the most ignorant bunch of assholes in the world. Get a clue, you won’t change us. And what’s so controversial of having schools teach other religions views. Evidently, all Christians have a chance at corrupting children’s minds, but if you want to teach other views of the world, then your the bad guy.
considering its being taught in science, shouldn’t the scientific theory (that’s basically been proven true) be taught and not a theory used to gain more flock for your thinning pastures. You think that your view has any more clout than the Hindu or Norse idea’s.
“No,” you say. “Those guys were fucking morons.”
Aren’t you the fucking ignorant prick that doesn’t see anybody else’s belief’s because you’re fighting god’s war.
By you trying to convert us and calling us idiots you make yourself look like an idiot. And since you’re a Christian and you influence my views on all Christians (because trust me, you uphold most beliefs of moron Christians) it teaches me that your the most ignorant creatures on the planet.
Its not that I hate your views, I don’t want you to fucking convert me, because it’s my belief. And if I don’t believe in hell, there’s a good chance I won’t end up there.
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You have to understand that they have been brainwashed into beleiving such nonsense. Not all can hope to achieve the level-headedness of pastafarians. Although I have just stumbled upon this site I’ve argued on many other on such issues, and have a few topics to bring up before you bash him much further (although i do believe he was quite rude all the same)
1. Brainwashing- The christian belief is ran by fear, the fear of eternal flames. They only REALLY want to help but are so overwhelmed by the fear of rotting they could not think otherwise. They are forced into closemindedness from birth. Only a few escape
2. Helpfulness- It helps alot of people to just be able to move on. These other religions… as silly as they are. Some people just would go all crazy phsyco and kill themselves once they fully understand they are just going to end up a pile of meat in the end. Just something to look foward to. A hope.
3. Stereotype- Don’t let this rather rude fellow make you hate other christians anymore. There are some smart ones out there.
Although I doubt i have brought up much in his defense I hope you will take in to account just how screwed this child is and maybe treat him as a cripple, a broken noodle who needs repair.
-Michael P Of Greenway Highschool
RAmen
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Actually in the Bible it states Man will be created in our image
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people will believe anything!!
*
Christy got that one right, some will even believe in someone called Jesus being a saviour! I’d rather have a Noodly lord with flavour.
*
And homeschooling cannot be good for you, judging by your atrocious spelling and grammar skills!
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I must say: if heaven be filled with examples such as this, then their company would truly be a hell, and any plane other would be like a heaven.
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Thank you christy! For showing me the way. WWJD? Punch a teacher in the face, that’s what.
Complements on the home schooling – excellent use of capitalization and punctuation, really helps drive your point home. It’s nice to finally read such an articulate argument expressed by such a kind and understanding person such as yourself. I am sure that your God, as an omnipotent, all powerful being, hates nothing worse than getting stiffed on production credit. I mean, if you can’t get people to kiss your ass, what good is being the benevolent ruler of the universe?
May you be touched by His Noodley Appendage.
– RAmen
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@Repmuht
“Hello. Why is hell in Norway?”
.
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell%2C_Norway
.
I quote from the wiki article:
“Hell is a small village in Stjørdal, Norway with a population of 352. It has become a minor tourist attraction because of its name, since people like to take the train there to get photographed in front of the station sign.”
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@Wench Nikkee
“*Christians* (the *REAL* trademark ones)” Christians ™ is the expression you’re looking for.
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YOU LOT ARE OFF YOUR ROCKERS!!!!!!
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YOU ARE ALL NOBS!!!!!!!!!
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“people will believe anything!!”
No, we don’t believe in the FSM more than you believe in all other Gods but one. At least, most of us don’t… You should read this website more carefully.
@chirs3
“Jesus endorses punching teachers CONFIRMED.”
This is slightly more believable.
Also, for comment posters like unluckymisfit, you’re not being a very good representation of FSM. Can you guys keep some of your harsh rudeness to yourself? I support the FSM because ID should not be taught in a science class, not because I hate Christianity.
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Well I’m convinced. If I continue to believe in the Flying Spaghetti monster, it is obvious I will go to hell where Jesus, grown to 600 feet tall will come down and crush me with his feet like I am a bunch of grapes. I further believe this Jesus will refrain from cutting his toe nails and will rip me to sheds with them, while he and all the faithful in heaven guffaw at my plight, because they love me and God is love.
Later, when Jesus is finished with me, the hounds of hell will eat me, defecate me out and I will be reconsittuted so the entire cycle can be repeated again and again for all eternity.
Futher, upon reading this it is just so clear that Xtainity is SOOO MUCH MORE PLAUSIBLE than Pastafarianism. How could anyone believe in anything as far-fetched as an omnipotent flyinng pile of noodles and meatballs, when you can believe in an old man who’s always been there, who creates the entire universe in 168 hours roughly 6000 years ago, fathers a son who is himself, punishes all creation because two of his creations eat an apple, demands and gets his own son butchered for that transgression, and kills everything he creates buts lets the really good creation’s ghosts party with him and his son for all time to come because he is SOOO LOVING. Makes so much more sense, doesn’t it?
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You guys are NUTS!!! I LOVE THIS WEBSITE!!!!
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, home schooling is not the way to go. You can only teach a kid the things you know and if you don’t know how to spell or use proper grammer then your child can’t learn it.
It is good to know that you are a real christian as aposed to all of those artificial ones I’ve been seeing on the market. However if your true concern is people burning in hell for not beleaving the same things you do then I think there is a much higher population of follwers anywhere else, but hey thanks for giving notice.
Pasta be with you,
Ramen
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@ HomeschoolMom4FSM–I’m guessing Christy does not have the type of homeschooling that most homeschoolers I know received. I don’t know what it is like in other states and countries, but in CO, you do have to meet state standards for reading, writing, arthimetic, etc. It’s your choice if you want to teach your child(ren) a religious curriculum as well, but these basic standards are supposed to be met. (Admittedly, whether they are or not is another question entirely. Perhaps Christy falls in this category.)
.
I’ve noticed a trend here with hate-mailers (as opposed to those with concerned criticisms): the spelling and grammar tends to be atrocious, and there are plenty of threats of violence and/or going to hell. My favorites are the ones that try to rip us a new one (”You’re going to BURN in HELL; I hope you die; you’re faggots, retarded, heathens, etc.”) then follow with a “God bless you.” Are we being cursed or blessed? Please hate-mailers, make up your minds! It’s got to be one or the other. I find it very difficult to believe you can do both.
.
@Ayumi-chan–noodles don’t have BUTTS! You are so right! Preach it sista!
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Hmm… yet another “Real Christian” who likes to punch people in the face.
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My dearist Christy,
I feel so, so sorry for you. From reading what you wrote, I can guess either you have parents who are incapable of rational thought and teaching, as is obvious by you atrocious grammar and penmanship, OR you have so many disorders stacked against you varying from learning disabilities to temper control issues that the very God you believe in MUST hate you. There is no other reasonable explanation for it except He hates you.
On a seperate note, “ME” seems to have identity crisis issues. You see, when I read your posts, I see they were written by me. However, when someone else reads them, they will clearly see that THEY authored such insightful comments as “YOU ARE ALL NOBS!!!!!!!!!” I searched every definition service the internet has to offer, but can’t figure out what the bloody fuck a ‘nob’ is.
Anyway, I was distracted. Christy, this god you so adamantly believe in hates you for writing such things, surely. That, or due to your parents, you have earned the sympathy of hundreds. I’ll submit your name to Oprah, maybe she can do something about it.
Tar, I apologize if my post seems hateful of christians, but they taught me to hate them, through 5 years of catholic school.
Back to you Christy, in high expectation of your future career, I answer in advance, for all to see: No, I would NOT like fries with that. If I did, I surely would have ordered them, wouldn’t I have?
PS My Fiance hates mac and cheese, spaghetti, and pasta alltogether, but she LOVES her pastafarian
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Apparently home schooling skips not only Pastafarianism but also spelling and cultivating one’s sense of humor.
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I, too, would like for people to realize that homeschooling is not limited to the religious right or conservatives. There are any number of reasons people homeschool their children, most of which are entirely logical and practical. These might include failure of the school system to meet the educational needs of your child, need for many changes of location for work situations or extended travel, harmful school environments because of physical threats or violence, a child being too far outside the curve in either direction in some specific areas for the school to deal with, and a host of other reasons. There are many areas where families homeschool for these reasons in equal or greater numbers than for religious isolation or indoctrination.
It is my hope that people will not assume that “homeschooler” equals “religious fanatic.” While I agree there are areas of our country where that is usually the case, there are many of us who chose the excitement of helping our children learn directly, with the world as our classroom, because it is simply the best way for our particular children to learn.
Happy Noodletide to all, and to all a good sauce.
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LOL! This is way to easy! This letter alone will probably convert another 100 people to us…
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This has to be a fake letter.
“People will believe anything!”
She is makeing our argument!
Also, … “over a random guy that started a joke”…
Xian Fundies don’t do research.
It’s probably Red Dutchpasta Wench pretending she had a xian mum and dad or PacificPam
imagining what it would be like to have a labotomy or possibly Wench Nikkiee has removed her brain, stomped on it, put it through a meat grinder, splashed it with rum, lit it on fire, put it out with parrot, ate it, shat it out, sculpted it into a bust of Plato, put it back in her head, drank a bottle of yagermeister, and decided to do some creative writing.
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Couldn’t she just send a x-mas card???? At least this one is not written in CapsLock, although she still doesn’t know which letters to capitalize… I have a few things to point out…
#1. im sorry but if you look like noodles with meatballs growin out your BUTT you need to go back to SPACE or get back in the pan where you’ll be somebodys dinner—-HAHAHAHAHAHA that’s craziness reminiscent of the BLR… it doesn’t even make sense.
#2. i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr– In that case, we’re happy, too. Plus, that means we didn’t have to sit next to you at lunch while we ate our cafeteria spaghetti.
#3. i hate to be the breaker of bad news –I think you like it.
#4. God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks! — Thanks, right back at ya! (A backhanded compliment, no less? How christian of her.)
But this one is the most important….
#5. i am a REAL christian –Then why the HELL are you on VENGANZA on your lord and savior’s birthday instead of, I don’t know, blindfolding him, spinning him around, and helping him play Pin the Tail on the Donkey or something? Jesus is pissed at you for not coming to his party. You WON’T be invited to the next one… and THAT one is in HEAVEN. Sucks to be you.
.
Meanwhile, my family was celebrating the FSM’s victory over Polk County public schools and keeping the FSM in ChrisFSMas… we had lasagna and watched Pirates.
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NOTE TO OUR PROPHET: I really liked the pink background!!!!! Where did it go????????
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Sweetie, your home schooling did you no favors. Your spelling and grammar suck.
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Must be fake.
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@ME
Caps lock is not a substitution for an education or intellegence. Try again.
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Christy,
Thats all fine and dandy that you are a christian. Unfortunately you missed the point. The point here is that Christians have absolutely no right to have their beliefs taught in public schools. Biology is a scientific discipline; religion is not. Intelligent design should be taught in a theology class where it belongs. I also find it hard to believe that you are even a christian at all. True christians strive to be christ-like. Punching people in the face and looking down on everyone with opposing viewpoints is not being christ-like.
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I did not know irony until i read this guys message.
Praise the FSM!
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@DPG
“Hell is a small village in Stjørdal, Norway with a population of 352. It has become a minor tourist attraction because of its name, since people like to take the train there to get photographed in front of the station sign.”
Fantastic! I wonder if the have any cool aristocracy like a Duke or Baron. Being introduced at parties as the “Duke of Hell” would really be something. I guess “go to hell” would be the least used expression in Hell. Endless fun.
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Yep. It looks fake. The capitalised ‘LORD’, but the failure to spell ‘Jesus’ with a capital ‘J’ (I got kicked from a Jesus irc channel once for saying ‘jesus’ rather than ‘Jesus’), & the inconsistency of ‘you’ & ‘u’.
.
Sorry christy, it doesn’t cut it for me–unless of course you really did get homeschooled & your parents taught you everything they know.
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Proper Nouns
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@All: one of my (music) students is homeschooled, has an protestant (evangelical) background, and ranks amongst the most intelligent people I’ve ever met. Won a highly reputed spelling contest as well. But countries and educational standards differ, of course.
.
@Starbuckaneer Dec 27th, 2007 at 12:49 am: “NOTE TO OUR PROPHET: I really liked the pink background!!!!! Where did it go????????”
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You’ll see: ’round Easter it will be yellow! Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaargh!
.
RAmen and Noodly Days to all Pastafarians!
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@anon Dec 27th, 2007 at 1:22 pm: “I did not know irony until i read this guys message.”
.
It’s like goldy, or bronzy, only it’s made out of iron (Baldrick in “Blackadder the Third”)
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It’s a classic, so why refrain from posting it… Brian’s Life keeps coming back here too!
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Ummmmm, the bible does not say God created man in his image… it says “We” will create man in “our” image, in “our” likeness, therefor, there is more than one god…… and the must include our Lord and Savior…FSM
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I would like to join the Holy Order of the Pastafarians.
This website has shown me the true path of life. Would our holy divinity, the flying spaghetti monster, be pleased if I would sacrify my first-born son?
Geetings, fellow Pastafarians
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Thank you for your letter, Christy.
And your lack of education has convinced me I couldn’t possibly be right. You’ve sold me.
Praise Jesus!
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@JC–”It’s probably Red Dutchpasta Wench pretending she had a xian mum and dad or PacificPam
imagining what it would be like to have a labotomy or possibly Wench Nikkiee has removed her brain, stomped on it, put it through a meat grinder, splashed it with rum, lit it on fire, put it out with parrot, ate it, shat it out, sculpted it into a bust of Plato, put it back in her head, drank a bottle of yagermeister, and decided to do some creative writing.”
.
I don’t think so. The grammar and sentence structure are so bad, that even if these highly intelligent members did receive lobotomies or humungous quantities of alcohol, I doubt they could dumb themselves down enough to write something this moronic.
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“Hell is a small village in Stjørdal, Norway with a population of 352. ”
Really?!? You mean we’re all going to Norway when we die?!? Coooooool!!
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“Tar, I apologize if my post seems hateful of Christians, but they taught me to hate them, through 5 years of catholic school.”
OK, John, I give you that. I agree, these “converters” are as annoying as (dare I say it?) hell.
.
I do not think a religion should be ridiculed by the people representing the religion, or a person ridiculed for what he/she believes in. But ridiculing a person’s action, such as this hatemail is fine by me :-).
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zOMG! This guy better repent!
I’m ready to join Pastafarians and worship the He who is HIM, my Lord teh m0nst0rz!!
I love how out of touch with reality people can be. Yay FSM!
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Christy has broken the 11th, and Secret Commandment, which goes, “The Truest among you shall praise Me with bad grammar and poor punctuation. You shall spell like nitwits and argue like fucktards in My Name. But Ye shall only do this amongst yourselves, and never before the heathens, that they might know My secret commandment.”
Tsk, tsk.
Ah well, Christy. When your god smites you, or your people take you out and stone you with stones till you be dead, you can always turn to His Noodliness. He is a much more forgiving deity.
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i’m so glad that this person wrote a letter to the kansas board.
what you ‘christians’ need to realize is that your religion is just as ‘absurd’ and ‘illogical’ as any other.
just because it’s popular doesn’t mean that it’s right.
stop being an ignorant little brat.
“when u die u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL and i am a REAL christian”
& you’re calling us crazy?
no offense, but i’d rather not worship some asshole that sends his ‘children’ to ‘burn in the pits of hell’. thanks.
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@Q Smets
“I would like to join the Holy Order of the Pastafarians.
This website has shown me the true path of life. Would our holy divinity, the flying spaghetti monster, be pleased if I would sacrify my first-born son?”
.
You just joined us. No paperwork required, posting here is enough. And certainly no sacrificing of children in His honor. The merciful FSM is not vain and doesn’t want us doing all sort of things in His honor. It is His wish to spend your energies on living in peace, curing diseases, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable.
.
@Cygnostik
Welcome to your new spiritual home to you too.
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ONe thing I will say about all this hate mail, reading it and everyone’s comments really puts the FUN back in funbdamentalism.
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Home schooled.
/fail/
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rmw
Dec 27th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
I don’t think so. The grammar and sentence structure are so bad, that even if these highly intelligent members did receive lobotomies or humungous quantities of alcohol, I doubt they could dumb themselves down enough to write something this moronic.
*
Thanks rmw :))
*
(I didn’t write it by the way, honestly!)
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WELL, FUCK! WE SHOULD ALL BE HOMESCHOOLED! Great idea!
Then we won’t have any illiteracy problems or obviously low I.Q.s!
And no, you are not a real christian.
Try loving thy damn neighbour, bitch
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yes, because i religion where a woman was created from a rib, all animals lived in walking distance of a mans house, and people can walk on water isn’t crazy at all :(. you are an idiot. RAmen
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Amazing that CHRISTy says “people will believe anything!!” since Christians believe the bible is literal facts and it’s pure fantasy.
Matt talks about “True christians” above. He is right on. One thing though – there appear to be VERY FEW true christians since all christians I hear on TV or meet in person are like her – mean spirited, intolerant, and violent and they think everyone should think like them.
RB
(I purposely did NOT capitalize christians. The word doesn’t really deserve it since christians in general do not embody the teachings of Christ.
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look, you have made all of us other homeschooled kids look like bible-bahing freaks in gingham! Stop it!
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It’s GOOD to KNOW that you HAVE some love in your LIFE – even if it IS for CAPITAL letters.
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“master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL”
will there be spaghetti in “HELL”
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The “homeschooled” remark makes me doubt the validity of this email.
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I just want to remind people of the first “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t”:
“I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.”
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@DPG
“Hell is a small village in Stjørdal, Norway with a population of 352. It has become a minor tourist attraction because of its name, since people like to take the train there to get photographed in front of the station sign.”
.
Not to mention the prospect of seeing Hell frozen over. :)
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@JC Dec 27th, 2007 at 12:27 am
“or possibly Wench Nikkiee has removed her brain, stomped on it, put it through a meat grinder, splashed it with rum, lit it on fire, put it out with parrot, ate it, shat it out, sculpted it into a bust of Plato, put it back in her head, drank a bottle of yagermeister, and decided to do some creative writing.”
.
Not yet. Preparation sounds a little complicated and uncomfortable. Maybe I should drink at least 4 or 5 bottles of yagermeister… FIRST!? :p
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So…..when I die, do I get to eat some of this godlike creature ????
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Well here we are again discussing what is “crazy” and what is not. As far as I know mental disease must be treated at a proper facility. So long
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@Wench Nikkiee
“Not to mention the prospect of seeing Hell frozen over” – Or a cold day in Hell.
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@Wench Nikkiee (and other disgruntled homeschoolees) I’d like to apologise for my intolerant attitude towards homeschooled people. It was wrong of me to judge you based on this single…person(?).
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This was great xD! I especially liked the part about “Master Meatball” xD
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No man shall judge another man. That is the job of the Flying Speghetti Monster.
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Well I do have to partially agree with this asshole. People will believe anything.
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@bombadil
Dec 28th, 2007 at 12:46 am
“Where a woman was created from a rib, all animals lived in walking distance of a mans house, and people can walk on water isn’t crazy at all”
Some of my favourite “Bible crazy” is Noah cramming two of every critter (some poisonous and others spikey) into a home made boat to survive a cataclysm and the story of Bel and the Dragon. There are also some dietary tips worth noting.
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He almost gets the point. It’s so sad he just misses it.
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@Wench Nikkiee and Cap’n Ollie
And knowing that much better how good a snowball’s chance in Hell is.
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@Wench Nikkiee
Not yet. Preparation sounds a little complicated and uncomfortable. Maybe I should drink at least 4 or 5 bottles of yagermeister… FIRST!? :p
yes!! much better… then the sculpting!
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Wha? Cap’n Ollie? My apologies, Repmuht (who I actually meant), and may His noodly appendage touch you all!
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um dude The flying Speggethi monster did not make us in his image he made basid us on the holy image of pirates
and good for you becuse you will be
put into our hell
With no Beer Volcanos and Strippers with Stds
SO HA
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WOW!!!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who realizes Christy’s home school teacher, sucked!
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“i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!”
.
Homeschooling, eh?
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I don’t think this is real. She can’t spell. If she was home schooled, she might as well have been kicking herself in the head, or having her mother or father kick her in the head, whatever…. you know what I mean. I think this email is a joke, but it’s still funny.
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is it just me, or do the Christians always seem to have horrible grammar/spelling/punctuation/understanding of their own religion?
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Blessing be to all! And may the great Flying Spaghetti Monster touch you all with his noodly appendages!…especially you miss Christie I pray that he touches you with his special noodly appendage of Un-ignorance, so that you may come to accept our lord Flying Spaghetti Monster as your personal lord and savior!….
I just have to say that it really ticks me off when people judge others with out knowing anything about them, like they know god thinks… That is unless the The Flying Spaghetti Monster talks to you in your sleep!
Peace To ALL
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Well, we are made in His image. My body is the Holy Pasta Tray, with its own noodly appendages issuing forth. Look at nature. Trees, snakes, even telephone poles reflect His Pastine perfection. I see his presence everywhere.
Smothered is saucy, spicy love,
Daryle
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i bet u think jeses is white too
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You might want to check and see if you can get your money back on that home schooling thing.
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I just found this and think it is GREAT!
Hey if we all do burn in hell (NOT!) Rest assured I made reservations. Third street to the left as soon as you get through the gates. Anyway if hell does exist I would suppose all the creative and fun people will be there.
Blessed Be to ALL
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“i hate to be the breaker of bad news but when you look around when u die u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL and i am a REAL christian and that hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell!”
.
Just admit it, deep down you don’t hate being the bearer of bad news, you love it! Only downside is that your religion is probably also wrong! Have you ever noticed how many religions there really are and the only reason your particular one is the dominant one, in the western world, is because of how many people were killed to promote it? Now, that doesn’t make it any more true. And to top it off within your religion there are numerous different interpretations that would most likely put you in Hell too?
.
Why not just stick with a Spaghetti Monster that isn’t demanding and let’s you have a good time, until you fall asleep that last time and the world goes on without you?
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of course people will believe anything if it makes sense. and if it sounds neato, becomes popular enough with the proper packaging ie: be good, go to heaven, it’ll spread like a plague on steroids. no different than santa or the easter bunny. interesting how these imaginary figures are tied into the whole christian faith. hmm
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Cap’n Ollie Dec 28th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
“@Wench Nikkiee (and other disgruntled homeschoolees)”
.
I’m homeschooled?? I think I must have played hooky the whole time :p
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@freedom fighter
Welcome to the church of the FSM. Hang around, post some more if you like. This is a nice cyber-spot to hang out.
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This is hilarious
http://www.doublesharpevideo.com/HomeSchool2/Homeschool2.html
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I hate it when people judge all of the home-schooled kids by these people who are home-schooled so they aren’t exposed to un-Christian values. I am home-schooled because the public school system failed to offer me proper gifted sources, and I was drowning in boredom of too little thought and too much busy work. And I am going back to public school so I can enroll in a fine arts school and do drama.
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She is a true christian! See, real christians go around stoning people to death just because they think their imaginary friend is better.
It’s because of people like Christy that we had the crusades act.
The people who did the crusades were buttheads.
Following this train of thought, Christy is a butthead.
Have a nice day!
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um so u were homeschooled?
that clarifies a lot.
but honestly? if were all going to hell then i can’t wait ’cause everyone i know will be there.
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Pot, meet kettle.
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All of you shut up and love the Flying Spaghetti monster! Or he will smite you all!
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At some point in the future, when I feel that my property taxes have gone too high (the majority of which support public education), I will reread this glorious example of the results of “home-school’in” kids, at which point I will include an additional $1K in my tax envelope.
“i hate to be the breaker of bad news”, but this child is deluded. Go FSM !
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Your “God” doesn’t love people who hate others because their beliefs are different than yours. Its not fair of you to judge them just because they believe in something different.
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what’s sad is that this is yet another person who has been brought up to think of religion as something you win. Note how she constantly points out that we’re going to hell? She is really proud of the fact that she’s on the winning team.
Too many people who run religions these days do this to their members — they act as if religion is a high school basketball game and promote accordingly.
interestingly, my wife, who was brought up in a fundamentalist religion (but got better) says that these people really honestly believe they have to save others, it’s their duty. Which puts the attitude of this sad person into an even more interesting light, since her attitude is so paternalistic, so prideful, so hate-filled (and I could probably add in a couple more of the seven deadly sins if I put my mind to it) that she’s not going to win converts, she’s going to repel them.
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Mmmm…hellfire – gotta have something with which to cook the pasta and worship His Noodly Goodness.
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…hey, have you noticed the number of repeated letters in this thing?
Who holds down the keys for that long? Im beginning to wonder if we’ve all been insulting a paraplegic.
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Religion is all a huge lie, anyone who believes in anything is trying to escape reality, and is henceforth a bubbling moron.
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Wow. This is hatemail. Liberal capslock, poor spelling, little capitalization, fanatical mentions of violence, hipocracy, bigotry, no capitalization of first name, ect… This hatemail is by the book.
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shut up now
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Breaker of bad news? Good thing you were homeschooled so well.
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Wow. She was taught well huh? Then why would she not capitalize her ‘I’s and not spell out ‘you’? I was home schooled for a year and a half, best thing that happened to me- not enough proper gifted programs in the public schools. The fact that she doesn’t appreciate and is unwilling to learn about other people’s beliefs embodies her “true christianism.” She believes in Hell? Okay, I just hope she knows the lowest level is held specially for people who use liberal and improper capitalization and poor spelling while trying to make a point.
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I reckon that her mama plum forgot to teach her about them periods and capital letters when homeschoolin’ her. But, shoot, she don’t need to know that kind of book learnin’– just knowin’ that the buybull is 100% true is enough. And, if you disagree, you is goin to HELL!!!!!!!!
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Well if you believe the literal translation of the bible then you should be happy for us sinners who burn in hell because there are only 144,000 open spots in heaven. Are you sure you are good enough to be included? I think there may have been more then that just in priests and nuns. Good luck in the DMV line from hell.
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@Noodly 1
“Wow. This is hatemail. Liberal capslock, poor spelling, little capitalization, fanatical mentions of violence, hipocracy, bigotry, no capitalization of first name, ect… This hatemail is by the book”…the good book…and Jesus said…”happy is he who can spell the name of the Lorrd…”
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“people will believe anything”. You are so right on that, christy.
I’ve heard that some people are crazy enough to believe that some obviously false god (not the FSM, that would be credible enough), wanting to have a son, used his “holy” noodle to impregnate a virgin who then went on to have a dude that could change water into wine and have fish multiply and an unending collection of other crazy stuff.
You are right, christy, people are crazy!!
Remember, always say to yourself: I know my Flying Spaghetti Monster loves me cause my recipe book tells me so.
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wow, you ARE right
people WILL believe anything
just look at yourself!
You BELIEVE that we BELIEVE the Flying Spaghetti Monster
It’s a freakin’ joke!
wow, look who’s the gullible one now,
not to mention hippocritical
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Now now folks, I think so far people have been a little hard on Christy, she has a right to express her feelings and views in just about any way she wishes. We should be more accepting of those who take the time and effort into communicating via this medium. Surely the essence of Pastafarianism and the will of our delicous lord (may he touch us all with his noodley apendage) would be to embrace critisim and opinion.
RAmen
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Christy, what makes you think you are right?
I’m also glad you were home schooled. Maybe you should stay in your home the rest of your life so you can’t reproduce and induct another generation with ignorant ideas and unfounded lies?
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…Let me get this straight…After telling us that you hope we get eaten, we’re going to hell and that you would punch someone because they believe something different than you…you say ‘God Bless’? Oh, how sweet! You hate our guts; but God Bless! Makes sense…>.>
.
You would punch someone who told you about the FSM, but here are you people, telling us of eternal torture for defying something non-existent, the fall of mankind because someone ate a piece of fruit because a talking snake told them to and a zombie God – Why should I not punch you? You’re doing the same thing!
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wow this person needs to chill out. im all for learning about other cultures and beliefs isnt that the way it should be??
we’re all taught about learning to understand other religions and beliefs yet this person is quite quick to condemn ours??
and what proof, might i ask, do YOU have that YOUR god exists??
im glad you were home schooled too coz no one needs to listen to your sort of narrow minded thoughts
RAmen
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LEIK NO WAY SHE IS HOMESCHOOOLED? SHE TALKS SO WELL!
i mean come on, luk @ her very intelligent response! I dun’t think u people can understand liek how educated she eees! i am verrrrrrrrrry happi that she wrote in bcuz u ppl r crazy! LIEK OH EM GEE! UR ALL GUNNA BURN IN HELL OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
…
OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOL
The real response:
I guess her parents never taught her grammar, huh?
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Christy – spaghetti is cooked in a pot, not a pan. jeez. no respect.
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This is wonderful – what a wonderful letter to receive on ChriFSMas day!
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“i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled”
i hate to break it to you, but (while having since converted to the church of FSM) i was raised a christian and its pretty much universally accepted that:
CHRISTIANS DO NOT APPROVE OF:
Cannibalism
Violence against others
CHRISTIANS DO APPROVE OF:
Tolerance
Good grammar and punctuation
I guess whoever taught you was just trying to scare you in to believing that non christians would end up “burning in the pits of HELL”.
huh, i guess people really WILL believe anything.
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ok, just because we’ve been hearing about your so called religion for so long doesn’t make it true. Its like me saying that if you sit on quarters for an hour while the microwave is on and you’re singing Camptown Girls will turn those quarters into dollars. You wouldnt believe it then, but how about if i said it for so thousands of years and claimed God told me that, would u believe it then?
Yeah, ridiculous eh?
Take a look at Leviticus you zealot, i bet you haven’t even read it. There is a passage in there that says if there is mold in your house you should evacuate it and god will cleanse it for you. Well we’ve been reading that for so long i thought it must be true but when i tried it out i found out that ‘god’ fell short. That was when i converted to pastafarianism.
RAmen
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Do any of you realize how ignorant your criticism is? Someone makes up this whole FSM “theory” just to prove that religion (christianity) is, in essence both stupid and redundent, right? Before you claim that, you should take a moment to see the ignorance of you own perspective. You claim that God doesn’t exist, right? logically, this means either one of two things:
#1:You have simutaneously searched every particle in existance to the fullest possible extence, and in your search you have found no “god” or god-like being. Or,
#2: you have unrefutable, mathematiacl proof the there can be no such thing as god.
Well, I would love to debate this subject more, but I’ve got better things to do with my time.
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I like you Christy. You say in one paragraph “wow you people are crazy i pray to my LORD jesus christ that you people wake up God created man in his own image…”
Then in the next one you say “people will believe anything!!”
.
I’ll assume the irony is lost on you.
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No doubt already somewhere in the pages of comment, but such a shame your “well homeschooled” education omitted English Language classes.
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Leviticus also promotes gang-rape, mudering children, homophobia and genocide… the bible’s a tad outdated these days i think…
And I love the hypocrasy in Christy’s response; “people will believe anything”… Yeah… Like a bearded omnipotent dude sits in the sky who has nothing better to do with his existance than to fart around in the affairs of us silly mortals… How arrogant can humans be!?
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Christy I can’t wait to see you in hell as well. If you are a real christian than you should know not to judge others.
– Can’t Touch Dis
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Also, I can’t wait to die; wether I go to heaven or hell because either way It will be good. I mean how can you get STD’s when your dea? And I really don’t like beer anyway. Although I love fine wine. ^^ Ooo I can’t wait, but I am not stupid enough to kill myself thats for sure.
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“Homeschooled” and it shows.
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Yes, my child, people will believe anything. That’s why it was so easy for me to recruit followers. They lie down like sheep as I shovel my bulsh…. err, wisdom to them.
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Wow. Now, whether you believe in Allah, or YWHW, or Shiva, or FSM, or no god at all, can’t you at least try to type a readable paragraph? Sooo not surprised to hear that you were home-schooled, and not solely because of the rabid Go-Go-God crap you spewed in your hate-mail. Let me guess, American by birth, Southern by the grace of God, right sugar?
One more thought, then I’ll go. Do you think that the folks who read this website and on their way to hell might actually have gone to hell without this website? It’s not like there are directions to the place posted, or a link to MapQuest/directions/lakeoffire.
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You said it most aptly…
“people will believe anything!!”
For instance, this guy named Jesus being born on December 25th… a date repeatedly proven to have been usurped by the church from Pagan religions’ winter solstice traditions.
Or, that Mark, Matthew and Luke didn’t plagiarize one another.
Or, that Catholic priests would never harm children.
Or, that Thor is responsible for thunder and lightning.
Or, that Ra is responsible for the sun rising and Set (aptly named) is responsible for sunset.
Can imagine the title of the only textbook in your “home school”.
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Btw,… Happy AstroMass everyone!
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Hey now.
Not all us home-schoolers come back out as such.
Hell, I was home-schooled….
But yeah >
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I just need to know one thing: is this letter real? Has home-schooling gotten THAT bad?
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Way to go dumbass. you’re right, people WILL believe anything, such as the ability of a woman to become pregnant without having sex and a man to snap his fingers and make fish appear. If your going to argue for “god” don’t refute your own arguement.
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And you have proof that your god exists, and that a flying spaghetti monster doesn’t?
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Now, Lets say god is real.
.
I bet he is an awesome dude, whole creating the universe and everything.
.
If I go up before the Pearly Gates and Heaven is the way the Xians say it is, and have a chat with him I’m going to tell him, “Hum.. Bummer. You really do exist.” Then I am going to look past him at the bible thumpers, raise my eyebrows at him, giggle to myself, and bounce.
.
If Heaven is full of Xians, I’d rather burn in Hell.
.
I do happen to believe that if god does exist, and I end up having said awkward chat, I think I’ll have a much better shot at admission to his paradise than most of the ignoramuses who say I’m going to rot in hell.
.
Know why?
.
Because I’m going to live my life to the best of my ability, acting as humanly as possible. If we were created by said god, then we have the internal knowledge of what is right and wrong. Following that knowledge should be enough, kow-towing to some man on a stick simply because a bunch of old guys told me too just doesn’t seem all that important. If god is petty and small minded enough to say that, regardless of how well i treated others and how well i lived my life, because I did not get down on my knees and pray to him that I will not have access to heaven. Because I did not believe the words of another Human, I get to be eternally tortured. And i say unto you, “Lord”: Arrogant much?
.
Doesn’t really fit too well with what god is said to be. Contradictions abound, my friends. Church and religion is a human convention, and is corrupt. Listen to the voice you believe this god of yours has put into your mind: Treat others right, do no preach hate and hellfire, that is not his message. Now, i can fully understand burning in hellfire if god was to come into my mind and say, “Yo! Dude! I exist! and I appreciate a little love every once in a while!” And I say, “Screwz youz yo! Pasta time!” Then I can see some self righteous indignation. Otherwise, he isn’t a very good god.
.
Eh, its all unlikely anyway. god may exist, but I’m not going to waste my sundays or weekdays talking to myself. Far better chance the world was created by the Angel Hair wielding Lord of Noodles.
RAmen!
Sorry for the rambles! Hope it made some sense, I was more just.. thinking outloud.
Cey!
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and you believe that some guy who sits on a cloud controls us telepathically and has the ability to send us underneath the earth where little red men poke us with pitch forks and the ability to send us up to a fluffy place where you can randomly get everything you want.
Hello?! REALITY CHECK?!
we actually know that spaghetti exists, yet there is no proof that god exists.
OWNAGE!
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“God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!”\ I
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the amount of hypocrisies in this hate mail is amazing..
im unable to even start writing about this because im simply blown away by how much stuff there is to contradict here..
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I can’t read any of these without laughing. People are DUMB!
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“i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!”
.
And what a fine job they did too, not only with your spelling and grammar but your obviously finely honed social skills as well!
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I ask you a fairly drawn out, yet nonetheless, important question:
Do the leaders of your cult.. errr .. religion.. require the children to kneel down in front of a leader, consume alcoholic beverages, and put someone’s body in their mouths?
Seriously messed up. And you think our religion is stupid?
Go. Reflect. Say a trillion hail marys. Hopefully you will not breed.
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“happy i was well homeschooled becuase”
‘becuase’ ?
well it seems to have worked for you. clearly not a slack jawed moron in any way shape or form. maybe if you stopped shagging your sister and eating squirrels long enough you might see the world around you.
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well at least you got one thing right…
“i pray to my LORD jesus”
correct – YOUR lord, not mine. buffoon.
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Yeah, your home schooling did a lot of good…religion allows you to stop thinking for yourself, which you’ve obviously NEVER done…And what makes you think we’re even accepting of the things you call Heaven and Hell?? Wouldn’t we have to believe in Hell in order to go there after death?? I don’t acknowledge the existence of either said place…
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dude do you think that anyone on this site even beleives in hell i mean come on what proof do you even have that hell exists………..idiot.
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@JC “Hopefully you will not breed.”
RAMEN TO THAT!! The last thing we need is more ignorant people in this world…Why is it religious equals ignorant??
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“i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!”
Because THAT’S definitely what Jesus would do! Sounds like you need to spend less time being hypocritical and more time studying the religion you claim to follow.
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it’s a bit sad really. i thought christians were supposed to be friendly.
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This makes me very sad.
People like this, who get over stupid fights because of religion, I just can’t understand. Why do they feel the need to tell us we’ll burn in hell? WWJD, I thought that was their motto. The only message that Jesus had was to LOVE. How can you claim to follow him if you cannot follow his basic principle? You may know every psalm, all 12 disciples and the story of Jesus’ birth, but when it comes to loving your neighbor, you have some serious deficiencies.
I hope one day that you’ll wake up from this demented dream and realize how many people you’ve hurt on your way to “heaven”. I’m just glad that I know not to pay you any attention.
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O goody, a real christian. Living roof that, as he stated himself, “People will believe anything!!”
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You know, the first thing that jumps out at me in most of these hate comments is the very real anger that the messages convey. The next thing I notice is the lack of spelling, punctuation and grammar. I am not a Pulitzer Prize winner, but I do tend to put some thought into what I’m saying.
I don’t subscribe to any religion. If I have to be threatened to think a certain way, I run.
One thing I will concede to the detractors is the Pirate aspect of the teachings. If my understanding of Pirate is correct (even in the nautical sence), there are more pirates now than ever. The coasts of Africa are pretty messed up lately. But I could be wrong. And that is the beauty of being a reasonable person. I can admit to being wrong. Isn’t it amazing?
Ramen to all.
Granny
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i iz so happy i wuz homeschooled, soz i dint have to lern no puntuashun
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so much confusion…this one was hard to read:
wow you people are crazy(comma) i pray to my LORD jesus christ (is that your Lord? and if so being a demi-god what would he do?) that you people wake up God (that we people wake up God [is he sleeping, and unknowing to what he has created? CHRISTIANS!!!) created man in his own image (period, delete next word) and im sorry but if you look like noodles with meatballs growin out your BUTT (huh huh...BUTT) you need to go back to SPACE or get back in the pan where you’ll be somebody(apostrophe)s dinner!
people will believe anything!!
(Apparently...)
i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase (well you'll need to re-learn slelnipg)i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr(delete last letter)!
And if you weren't homeschooled Christian, would you still be Christian? Thus if not couldn't we rule out you punching a teacher in the face for teaching you Blasphemy according to YOUR religion?
i hate to be the breaker of bad news (breaker of bad news...so now bad news doesn't work anymore? or what?) but when you look around when u die (very confusing sentence there: When you look around [comma] when you die, OR When you look around when you die [comma]) u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL (can you prove that??) and i am a REAL christian and that hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell (isn’t it a sin to judge as your Lord, the REAL Judge, would judge? is it not up to Him one’s destiny?) ! (random end of sentence there) over a random guy that started a joke and has nothing better to do besides make up some god for fun then see how many people are loving this idea (it was actually a response to YOUR FREAKISHLY crazy ass!!!).
God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!
-christy
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why thats all i as why do you hate us what did we ever do to you? huh i just dont understand it you know its people like you that give christians a bad name but because i am a pastafarian i have to say that its ok and even if you do belive diferently to us most chrisians will got to heaven
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i believe that everyone has the right to believe what they want, and if there really is a flying spaghetti monster, all the more power to ya.
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You know Christy, my wife and I thought about homeschooling our son. But then we realized he needs the interaction with the other children in public school. That cannot be taught at homeschool.
Im sure your a great person, but many of the people I know who homeschool their childern do so because they want to bring everything back to their christain god, so their child hears only this one narrow point of view. They don’t accept that there are things they just don’t know, and the bible doesn’t have any of the answers. Sad.
It is not healthy for a young child to only be exposed to one narrow point of view for so many years. I sincerely hope for your sake that your experience in homeschool has not been a handicap you have had to deal with for your entire adult life.
There is no Hell Chirsty, nor a heaven. Read a science book, and use your bible for something usefull, like tinder for your fireplace. The thin paper burns better than newspaper.
I would love to punch a teacher in the face for telling my childern that just because there is a universe, then there MUST have been a god that created it. I wont because this is assult and battery, and I don’t want to go to jail over such sillyness. I would just tell my children the truth.
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yourgrandma and Gavin are extremely correct.
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I missed the part in the Bible where Jesus tells us to punch our teachers in the face.
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U broked mah Bad n00z :’(
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Ahhh, the “Burning in the pits of hell” unlike “real christians” argument. I’m pleased to see that like most christians, little Christy here is not afraid to punch out anyone that suggests her god may not be their god. Frankly, I’m glad you were ‘homeschooled’ too….it makes your horrible punctuation even that much funnier! (even though I rely heavily on the comma, which, in most cases, is, unnecessary.) I bet Mommy taught you the Earth is only 6000 years old too? Did she buy textbooks that showed jesus and dinosaurs together, or did she just use the bible as her textbook? Go play in the street.
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This is a simple arguement to settle. Just bring me your god personaly to my front door. All the thousands of gods that have existed and many still do from over the years. I will pimp slap all of them and put them on their knees in front of me and make all them suck my ****.
Of coarse there is no such thing as god so I will have to hire one, sort of like hireing a santa at christmas.
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Whoof, I’m veeeerrry happy you were homeschooled too. Heaven forbid you’d be out in PUBLIC.
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Well, if your God wants me to burn in Hell for such a minor offence, no WAY I’m going to worship him. Sorry, but I’d only be encouraging him ;)
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what i want to know is why would you hate me just because i LOOKED like noodles?
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With the billions, maybe trillions, of people your god has already sent to hell, why would you worry about a few more million?
Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
-GM
RAmen
If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net
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@ Fred 151
By that logic (i.e. you can’t prove God doesn’t exist, so therefore he does!) then EVERYTHING you can’t prove doesn’t exist, does actually exist. Like dragons. You can’t prove they don’t exist, so by your logic they do. And aliens (which many Xians don’t believe in) can’t be disproved, so then they must exist! See how stupid this is?
Also, by that logic not only your god would exist, everyone else’s god would too. Just FYI there.
And what does disproving god have to do with creating a fake religion? If we had to disprove your god, we might as well disprove them all. And that would take awhile, and it wouldn’t leave any time for pasta.
Also, no one ever said that they have proof that god doesn’t exist. It just isn’t likely. So don’t be hating on people who don’t believe in something that isn’t very likely.
@ the rest of you: Actually, I believe theoretically a woman can get pregnant without sex, but Mary would have difficulty with this. Ever heard of artificial insemination? It’s not really as grand as the Xians make it seem, now is it?
I’ve got a question for anyone up to the challenge: What if Genesis was correct, and the Xian god did make something in his image. But it was aliens. And we’re the aliens of the people god made it his image.
Just something different, I suppose.
Make pasta not war!
Koko am Moko
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