wow you people are crazy i pray to my LORD jesus christ that you people wake up God created man in his own image and im sorry but if you look like noodles with meatballs growin out your BUTT you need to go back to SPACE or get back in the pan where you’ll be somebodys dinner!
people will believe anything!!
i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!
i hate to be the breaker of bad news but when you look around when u die u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL and i am a REAL christian and that hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell! over a random guy that started a joke and has nothing better to do besides make up some god for fun then see how many people are loving this idea.
God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!
-christy
He thinks we’re crazy while communicating telepathically with his invisible friend?
.
“homeschooled” Yeah, I guessed that.
.
“hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell” Yes, your god is very mean and pompous and not really very fair to people.
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There is this key called ‘Shift’ on your keyboard. Try using it.
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It makes me sad that a self-proclaimed believing Christian is so full of hatred and intolerance at this time of the year! I hope that His noodly appendage will touch you and guide you to tolerance, peace and love for all human beings on this world, no matter what they believe.
Oh yes, and 1st post! :D
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Pretty poor homeschooling there.
-no correct use of capitalization
-run on sentences
-lack of punctuation
-overuse of exclamation mark
-incorrect spelling of spaghetti, monster, very, growing, whacked
p.s. god is just as made up as the FSM
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people will believe anything!!
~
You’re right, including an invisible man in the sky who made the universe and everything in it.
~
Merry Christmas to all the Pastafarians out there.
Mariner
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”i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled”
It looks like whomever home schooled Christy did a very poor job. Just look at the spelling and punctuation!
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Come on, this has to be a Pastafarian sending a joke hate mail.
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“you people”-why is it always “you people?”
At first I thought christy had left us a code, kinda like the Da Vinci code “LORD BUTT SPACE HELL REAL” I looked closely for a while but then it occurred to me christy is just mental.
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Hmm. The problem with hatemail is that the writers say something then metaphoricly leave the room. So what I’m about to say is irrelevent. Wait…
**wow you people are crazy i pray to my LORD jesus christ that you people wake up God created man in his own image and im sorry but if you look like noodles with meatballs growin out your BUTT you need to go back to SPACE or get back in the pan where you’ll be somebodys dinner!**
Okay, so not only is this an affront to basic grammer, it is an attack on what other people beleave is true. How would you like it if Pastafarians started slagging off God? But they don’t, and you seem to be doing so to them. At the moment, it looks like Pastafarians have the moral high-ground.
**people will believe anything!!**
Including a bearded man who lives on a cloud, whose followers and himself mean well, but some take it too far?
**i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!**
The problem is FSM isn’t taught by schools. Pastafarians WANT their version of intelligent design taught in schools if ID is taught as a science.
**i hate to be the breaker of bad news but when you look around when u die u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL and i am a REAL christian and that hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell! over a random guy that started a joke and has nothing better to do besides make up some god for fun then see how many people are loving this idea.**
How do you know that? Are you some sort of classical hero, with ability to cross between this world and What Ever Comes After? Even so, how do you know that good Pastafarians won’t go to their own version of heaven?
**God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!
-christy**
May God, Allah, FSM, Brahmen and all the others bless you and your belief system. I beleave, if not anything, in tolerance, and only have respect to religions that allow other religions.
From Bristol, UK, the birthplace of piratey language, merry christmas ya’ll!
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“…but when you look around when u die…”
.
Not sure that looking around is the very first concern of someone who’s
-about to die
-dying
-dead
.
Not really good publicity for homeschooling either, I’m afraid. Anyway:
.
Merry and Happy Whatever-You-Want-To-Celebrate to all Pastafarians!
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Whether a joke or not, this letter helped me fully appreciate just how important punctuation really is. I actually had to read it a couple of times before realizing what she was trying to say. My first reaction was that we were trying to wake yhwh up. If he’s just slept throughout history that explains why there has not been any evidence of his existance. Can I copyright a belief system, because I bet you people will fall for that.
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It’s odd that (except for Pastafarians) people who are defending their beliefs are the most vicious and intolerant of others. Pastafarians don’t, as far as I know, send hate mail to other religious websites and make fun of what they believe.
Some of my friends today are celebrating Christmas, some Festivus, some the passing of the solstice a few days ago, some are watching movies, some enjoying their families, etc., but I don’t think anyone I know is spending the holiday season spewing acid about what the others are doing. And that’s the difference between those who have been touched by His Noodly Appendage and those who have not. Honestly, can’t we all just get along?
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Not only am i sure it’s the barer of bad new, but home schooling means that you only got the education that your one sided parents wanted you to get, and not the education that you properly deserve. There for you have no idea what your talking about. Just because “god’ made people in his image doesn’t mean that FSM made us in his. Oh, and the fact that you are a “REAL” Christian scares us. Well I’m a REAL Pastafarian and you will get STALE BEER!
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PLEASE – can someone send us some mail (made up or not) where we can’t
.
1) Make fun of the spelling, punctuation and grammar
2) Take out every reference to “god” and substitute FSM and have it make just as much sense, assuming it made sense in the first place which is a BIG assumption
3) Has at least a little bit of internal logic that isn’t based on laughable premises
.
I mean really, “these people” have had well over 2000 years to come up with one good argument. I think the problem is that up till a couple of decades ago they had the power to coerce “belief” and so haven’t really thought about it.
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She says she’s a REAL christian? Are there fake christians? Personally, actually, I thought they were all fake. I’ve been trying to ignore them for a long time, hoping they would go away. Alas, it is no longer necessary for me to take my medication. The christians are all real. *sigh* All this time *shaking head* . . .
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Look Christy,
You don’t have to believe in our almighty fsm. I don’t really believe in him either. But non-the less I will not be condemned to hell for that. Why not respect our religion. Just because you don’t agree with pastafarianism it doest’t mean that it’s bad.
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Perhaps therapy amongst your own kind would do you good. May I suggest:
http://www.bettybowers.com/
Betty is so close to Jesus, His Christmas shopping is ruining her credit! And she is, so she claims, a better Christian than you.
or better yet:
http://www.landoverbaptist.com/
Brother Harry’s Bible Study will fit right in with your beliefs. Someone asked BH the following question:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/brotherharry/september2001.html
Q: What is it about Christianity that makes Christians feel exempt from treating people with respect? How did Jesus’ message get so garbled, get stood on its head, get downgraded to simply being “right”? I just don’t get it, but I do know that visiting these boards is not worth darkening my day.
His Answer….
A: Dear Superficial Anal-Retentive One,
What do you expect from us? Consider what we are ordered to do in the Bible. If one of our neighbor’s children is unruly, we are required to go to the townsquare and stone the child until he is dead (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). I have to wonder when was the last stoning in which you participated? Frankly, it’s very difficult to be polite while literally beating the brains out of one’s skull with rock pelting. Rest assured, my wife’s pinky is always raised during a toss, but that’s about as Emily Post as it can get. God also told us to murder homosexuals, witches, adulterers and every living being in any town we invade. He told us to take the women there as our slaves. I have found no way to enslave someone in a polite fashion (allowing them to remove all bracelets before slapping on the irons is the closest I’ve gotten). God wasn’t particularly concerned about etiquette–unless, of course, it had to do with the way we slaughtered animals for Him. Then, his instructions were quite precise.
With the secular, liberal (a/k/a Satanic) laws of today, stoning is outlawed, so we must engage in persecution (always in the name of righteousness) in words, only. Rebuking just doesn’t lend itself to good hosting. I suspect even Ann Landers would concur.
Praying that all men will at least remove their hats before hurling those rocks,
Brother Harry Hardwick
Landover Baptist Church (landoverbaptist.com)
So, Christy, we hope you find your way. Save yourself from torturous cognitive dissonance by spending time with Betty Bowers or Brother Harry. Our Master will always reach out to you with his Noodly Appendage whether you believe in him or not.
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Somehow I feel the same as Spud (Dec 25th, 2007 at 5:21 pm), but what the heck.
For your information, Christy, the FSM created *pasta* in His image (as well as DNA, bushes, tree roots and subatomic strings, but that’s another story). Not us. Who would be as arrogant as to say that they looked the same as their god? *cough*
And He’s not a master meatball, he is made primarily of spaghetti (hence the name) – he just includes meatballs in his Noodly Visage to provide a more interesting and tasty physical form for himself.
Please do your research properly next time.
@Visitor – RAmen, fellow Bristolian! We should both go evangelize some time. >.>
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If you were a real Christian, you would realize that Jesus didn’t care if anyone didn’t believe in him. He wanted people to understand that your religion doesn’t matter, it all matters whether you’re a good person or not.
He didn’t care if people believed in him or not. How about you listen to your Lord Jesus Christ for once.
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I despair of these narrow-minded homeschoolers. They are so narrow-minded that their ears touch as my late father used to say.
All my sprogs were educated at home and have turned out fairly normal and well-balanced. They also have the ability to read and spell and write grammatically. That is because the kind of home education we espoused was that of living in the real world.
Please don’t take the IDiot above as typical.
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“you need to go back to SPACE”
No thank you, we are Pastafarians. Perhaps you meant to address Scientologists?
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Hello, Mr. Christian. Keep one thing in mind. “Thou shalt have no gods before me.”
Your first commandment. That includes that whole “Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged,” thing.
We can laugh at you, while you’re burning right next to us.
RAmen.
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So, you pity me because I’m going to burn in hell, but you’d punch a teacher in the face?
You’re happy to believe the lord of all creation is an old man who lives in the sky, but refuse to accept he may assume the form of a flying spaghetti monster?
You proclaim yourself a REAL christian, but appear not to follow the Christs’s teachings of “Love one another as I have loved you” and “If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn the other cheek and offer it to him also”, to name but two.
You offer us God’s blessing after you have given us your curse.
You are verryyy happy (hope I spelt that correctly), but you come here and disturb my meditations on the nature of the pasta-verse with your inane, ill-informed and illogical rantings.
Indeed, “people will believe anything!!”
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Jean Bart wrote “Not sure that looking around is the very first concern of someone who’s
-dead”
I’ll be looking around for the beer volcanos and stripper factories. And a big plate of pasta please.:)
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@dragon made from clay
Welcome to the church of the FSM to you as a first-time poster. Hang around, post some more if you like.
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I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes! This is truly what makes “believers” so damn funny. I especially enjoyed this one: “people will believe anything!!” These morons are so clueless they have not even figured out that this whole website is making fun of them…yes Christy your “god” must be so proud of you, lol.
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Crazy like a fox! RAmen
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Jesus endorses punching teachers CONFIRMED.
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What a guy. Does he live in a trailer in West Virgina? The backwoods are full of these guys. Amusing to read.
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So we should go into space this time? That makes a change for once from being told to go to Hell, that lovely village in Norway. Same question then: will you provide us tickets for the next space tourism flight? I’d love to go.
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Another example why homeschooling should be banned.
Christy, the saying should be “Hate to be the bearer of bad news” not “breaker of bad news”, you were homeschooled so you lack the intelligence to see the differece.
Also, since you are breaking your own religions commandments I guess you will be burning too.
Another negative side of homeschooling is the lack of comprehension. You must of read the about page because you knew it was made up. However, because your parents did not teach you how to comprehend what you read, you could not figure out the point of the whole thing. Unfortunately, you would need to go back to real school to figure this out.
Only people who can not think for themselves are so threatened by anyone or anything that may go against their belief system.
At the end of the day you pray to a Jewish boy and even in your old testament the Jews are the chosen people. Based on your ignorance you probably condem Jews too while without realizing your Lord is a Jew. Since you must be very confused right now I will end this rant.
When you learn to comprehend what you read go back to the about page and be enlightened.
RAmen!
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Well since I am a masochist, I sure will love eternal bliss in a fiery pit of BDSM
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☠DutchPastaGuy☠ Dec 26th, 2007 at 12:57 am
“That makes a change for once from being told to go to Hell, that lovely village in Norway.”
.
So many broken promises from these *Christians*!
I’ve been checking my letterbox for those tickets tickets to Hell for a year and still no sign! I’m beginning to think that all these *Christians* (the *REAL* trademark ones) are just a bunch of fibbers! :p
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How does “homeskool” work exactly? Is there a bell? Does mom bully you at lunch time? And what about the curriculum? Do you have to do all that crazy nonsense like English, History, Math and Science or can you just do advanced Bible Studies and learn practical skills such as field stripping your AK47 in preparation for Armageddon?
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@DPG
Hello. Why is hell in Norway?
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Some people get home schooled because they can’t meet the requirements for staying in a public/private school. I suspect Christy falls in that cataglory. I would recommend an anger management course for her, not to maybe some english classes as well
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Right. Because believing in a Zombie God who is his own father and requires us to telepathically devout ourselves to him and beg forgiveness for sins that, since he is omniscient, he allows to happen makes soooo much sense.
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Please, do not think this poorly educated religious fundamentalist is a true representation of homeschoolers. My husband and I homeschool our children partially to avoid the throngs of evangelicals running our local public schools and mainly to to provide a sound classical education to our sons. The religious homeschoolers are the vocal minority. The larger percentage of homeschoolers do so for academic or social reasons unrelated to religion, but we are not a loud united front like the Christians.
I would expect my 10 year old son to write with better grammar, punctuation, and clarity than this poster has exhibited. That same son is also well versed in many aspects of Pastafarianism (he does not yet see the appeal of beer and stripper factories so has adapted his view of heaven to include root beer volcanoes and video game factories). We spend many hours every week discussing the mythologies of all the world’s major religions and why neither I nor his father believe in any of them.
I have also taught him about ID, not as an alternative theory, but to give him the necessary knowledge to properly defend evolution when faced with a confrontational ID’er (a situation which, sadly, he has had to face several times already).
Homeschooling allows us to teach our children about evolution, encourage them to read banned books, and helps us give them the tools and confidence to stand up for themselves and young rational freethinkers.
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Crazy and proud XD But what has that got to do with anything?
Plus…are you dissing my looks? -sobs- It’s not MY fault I look sort of…noodly. :(
Anyway, I’m not going to Hell because of Bobby Henderson. If you extreme Christians are right about the whole “BELIEF OR ETERNAL DAMNATION” thing, I’ve been headed for Hell since I was about six. And I’m sorry if it hurts you to “know” I’m going to Hell, but deal with it. If you’re so concerned about others, why don’t you help those suffering NOW instead of wasting your life posting hate messages?
By the way, can you explain the whole “made in God’s image” thing to me? Since I was a kid, I was told God is
a. an old guy with a beard
b. the holy spirit (invisible)
c. Jesus
d. all of us
e. a random floating glowy thing (a glowworm?)
f. the light within (I LIKE Quakers. Quakers rule, especially since they let me be Quaker even without belief in God)
So, are you any or all of the above?
Didn’t think so.
Anyway, did we claim we were made in FSM’s image? I can’t say for sure yet (I got the Gospel for ChriFSMas but haven’t read it yet) but I don’t THINK we do…
By the way, just as a pointer, that is clearly not FSM’s BUTT. I assume your homeschooling didn’t include basic noodle anatomy? A sad deprivation in a child’s education. Noodles don’t even HAVE butts! Your homeschooling clearly also skipped basic English Language, Religious Studies (except Christianity. I think you got an overdose of that), Basic Sense Of Humour Studies (what do you mean, that’s not a real lesson? WHY NOT???? Those poor misguided fundies need our help!) and -ahem- anger management.
However, @iwishyouwouldlearntoreadafarian (which is a very long name, btw o.0), homeschooling could be a positive thing, provided
a. the parents/guardians/tutors are qualified and ready and willing to give a full curriculum, not just share their bigotries and hatred
b. the child honestly can’t cope, either socially or mentally, with school, or finds it impossible to regularly attend school
For example, somebody who travelled all the time, whose mum had a degree and who was learning about the kind of things they need to know, like maths etc and philosophy, RS and all those other things, I would say could reasonably be homeschooled. However, I accept it’s hard to tell from outside if this is the case.
Phew, long post, and after the stress of ChriFSMas I could just…zzzzzzz…
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your saying we’re crazy, because we believe in the FSM. let me get this straight. You believe in Jesus, a man who was resurrected from the dead and reincarnated into the form of a rabbit to give chocolate chicken eggs and fake marshmallow birds to children (which is a main reason for obesity) and then say we’re the crazy ones.
Christians are natural stealer’s. The Christmas tree you hold so dear is actually a Scandinavian tradition back in pagan times. They put evergreens up as a way to remember spring would come.
not only that your main symbol of faith is the thing that killed your supposed lord. would you worship a gun if it killed your lord? considering you are mostly right wing nut-jobs anyway, you probably do.
The problem with Christianity is that you are the most ignorant bunch of assholes in the world. Get a clue, you won’t change us. And what’s so controversial of having schools teach other religions views. Evidently, all Christians have a chance at corrupting children’s minds, but if you want to teach other views of the world, then your the bad guy.
considering its being taught in science, shouldn’t the scientific theory (that’s basically been proven true) be taught and not a theory used to gain more flock for your thinning pastures. You think that your view has any more clout than the Hindu or Norse idea’s.
“No,” you say. “Those guys were fucking morons.”
Aren’t you the fucking ignorant prick that doesn’t see anybody else’s belief’s because you’re fighting god’s war.
By you trying to convert us and calling us idiots you make yourself look like an idiot. And since you’re a Christian and you influence my views on all Christians (because trust me, you uphold most beliefs of moron Christians) it teaches me that your the most ignorant creatures on the planet.
Its not that I hate your views, I don’t want you to fucking convert me, because it’s my belief. And if I don’t believe in hell, there’s a good chance I won’t end up there.
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You have to understand that they have been brainwashed into beleiving such nonsense. Not all can hope to achieve the level-headedness of pastafarians. Although I have just stumbled upon this site I’ve argued on many other on such issues, and have a few topics to bring up before you bash him much further (although i do believe he was quite rude all the same)
1. Brainwashing- The christian belief is ran by fear, the fear of eternal flames. They only REALLY want to help but are so overwhelmed by the fear of rotting they could not think otherwise. They are forced into closemindedness from birth. Only a few escape
2. Helpfulness- It helps alot of people to just be able to move on. These other religions… as silly as they are. Some people just would go all crazy phsyco and kill themselves once they fully understand they are just going to end up a pile of meat in the end. Just something to look foward to. A hope.
3. Stereotype- Don’t let this rather rude fellow make you hate other christians anymore. There are some smart ones out there.
Although I doubt i have brought up much in his defense I hope you will take in to account just how screwed this child is and maybe treat him as a cripple, a broken noodle who needs repair.
-Michael P Of Greenway Highschool
RAmen
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Actually in the Bible it states Man will be created in our image
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people will believe anything!!
*
Christy got that one right, some will even believe in someone called Jesus being a saviour! I’d rather have a Noodly lord with flavour.
*
And homeschooling cannot be good for you, judging by your atrocious spelling and grammar skills!
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I must say: if heaven be filled with examples such as this, then their company would truly be a hell, and any plane other would be like a heaven.
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Thank you christy! For showing me the way. WWJD? Punch a teacher in the face, that’s what.
Complements on the home schooling – excellent use of capitalization and punctuation, really helps drive your point home. It’s nice to finally read such an articulate argument expressed by such a kind and understanding person such as yourself. I am sure that your God, as an omnipotent, all powerful being, hates nothing worse than getting stiffed on production credit. I mean, if you can’t get people to kiss your ass, what good is being the benevolent ruler of the universe?
May you be touched by His Noodley Appendage.
– RAmen
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@Repmuht
“Hello. Why is hell in Norway?”
.
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell%2C_Norway
.
I quote from the wiki article:
“Hell is a small village in Stjørdal, Norway with a population of 352. It has become a minor tourist attraction because of its name, since people like to take the train there to get photographed in front of the station sign.”
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@Wench Nikkee
“*Christians* (the *REAL* trademark ones)” Christians ™ is the expression you’re looking for.
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YOU LOT ARE OFF YOUR ROCKERS!!!!!!
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YOU ARE ALL NOBS!!!!!!!!!
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“people will believe anything!!”
No, we don’t believe in the FSM more than you believe in all other Gods but one. At least, most of us don’t… You should read this website more carefully.
@chirs3
“Jesus endorses punching teachers CONFIRMED.”
This is slightly more believable.
Also, for comment posters like unluckymisfit, you’re not being a very good representation of FSM. Can you guys keep some of your harsh rudeness to yourself? I support the FSM because ID should not be taught in a science class, not because I hate Christianity.
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