wow you people are crazy

wow you people are crazy i pray to my LORD jesus christ that you people wake up God created man in his own image and im sorry but if you look like noodles with meatballs growin out your BUTT you need to go back to SPACE or get back in the pan where you’ll be somebodys dinner!

people will believe anything!!

i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!

i hate to be the breaker of bad news but when you look around when u die u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL and i am a REAL christian and that hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell! over a random guy that started a joke and has nothing better to do besides make up some god for fun then see how many people are loving this idea.
God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!
-christy

197 Responses to “wow you people are crazy”

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  1. 151 - Fred - Jan 3rd, 2008

    Do any of you realize how ignorant your criticism is? Someone makes up this whole FSM “theory” just to prove that religion (christianity) is, in essence both stupid and redundent, right? Before you claim that, you should take a moment to see the ignorance of you own perspective. You claim that God doesn’t exist, right? logically, this means either one of two things:
    #1:You have simutaneously searched every particle in existance to the fullest possible extence, and in your search you have found no “god” or god-like being. Or,
    #2: you have unrefutable, mathematiacl proof the there can be no such thing as god.
    Well, I would love to debate this subject more, but I’ve got better things to do with my time.

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  2. 152 - Pluto - Jan 3rd, 2008

    I like you Christy. You say in one paragraph “wow you people are crazy i pray to my LORD jesus christ that you people wake up God created man in his own image…”
    Then in the next one you say “people will believe anything!!”
    .
    I’ll assume the irony is lost on you.

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  3. 153 - Jennyanydots - Jan 3rd, 2008

    No doubt already somewhere in the pages of comment, but such a shame your “well homeschooled” education omitted English Language classes.

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  4. 154 - Halo of Soil - Jan 3rd, 2008

    Leviticus also promotes gang-rape, mudering children, homophobia and genocide… the bible’s a tad outdated these days i think…

    And I love the hypocrasy in Christy’s response; “people will believe anything”… Yeah… Like a bearded omnipotent dude sits in the sky who has nothing better to do with his existance than to fart around in the affairs of us silly mortals… How arrogant can humans be!?

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  5. 155 - ShadowTheNinja - Jan 3rd, 2008

    Christy I can’t wait to see you in hell as well. If you are a real christian than you should know not to judge others.

    – Can’t Touch Dis

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  6. 156 - ShadowTheNinja - Jan 3rd, 2008

    Also, I can’t wait to die; wether I go to heaven or hell because either way It will be good. I mean how can you get STD’s when your dea? And I really don’t like beer anyway. Although I love fine wine. ^^ Ooo I can’t wait, but I am not stupid enough to kill myself thats for sure.

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  7. 157 - Maria - Jan 4th, 2008

    “Homeschooled” and it shows.

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  8. 158 - Jesus Christ - Jan 5th, 2008

    Yes, my child, people will believe anything. That’s why it was so easy for me to recruit followers. They lie down like sheep as I shovel my bulsh…. err, wisdom to them.

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  9. 159 - jeanyes - Jan 5th, 2008

    Wow. Now, whether you believe in Allah, or YWHW, or Shiva, or FSM, or no god at all, can’t you at least try to type a readable paragraph? Sooo not surprised to hear that you were home-schooled, and not solely because of the rabid Go-Go-God crap you spewed in your hate-mail. Let me guess, American by birth, Southern by the grace of God, right sugar?

    One more thought, then I’ll go. Do you think that the folks who read this website and on their way to hell might actually have gone to hell without this website? It’s not like there are directions to the place posted, or a link to MapQuest/directions/lakeoffire.

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  10. 160 - LOLinguini - Jan 5th, 2008

    You said it most aptly…

    “people will believe anything!!”

    For instance, this guy named Jesus being born on December 25th… a date repeatedly proven to have been usurped by the church from Pagan religions’ winter solstice traditions.

    Or, that Mark, Matthew and Luke didn’t plagiarize one another.

    Or, that Catholic priests would never harm children.

    Or, that Thor is responsible for thunder and lightning.

    Or, that Ra is responsible for the sun rising and Set (aptly named) is responsible for sunset.

    Can imagine the title of the only textbook in your “home school”.

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  11. 161 - LOLinguini - Jan 5th, 2008

    Btw,… Happy AstroMass everyone!

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  12. 162 - MooCow - Jan 5th, 2008

    Hey now.

    Not all us home-schoolers come back out as such.

    Hell, I was home-schooled….

    But yeah >

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  13. 163 - Marinara - Jan 5th, 2008

    I just need to know one thing: is this letter real? Has home-schooling gotten THAT bad?

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  14. 164 - Z - Jan 7th, 2008

    Way to go dumbass. you’re right, people WILL believe anything, such as the ability of a woman to become pregnant without having sex and a man to snap his fingers and make fish appear. If your going to argue for “god” don’t refute your own arguement.

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  15. 165 - GL - Jan 8th, 2008

    And you have proof that your god exists, and that a flying spaghetti monster doesn’t?

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  16. 166 - Cey - Jan 8th, 2008

    Now, Lets say god is real.
    .
    I bet he is an awesome dude, whole creating the universe and everything.
    .
    If I go up before the Pearly Gates and Heaven is the way the Xians say it is, and have a chat with him I’m going to tell him, “Hum.. Bummer. You really do exist.” Then I am going to look past him at the bible thumpers, raise my eyebrows at him, giggle to myself, and bounce.
    .
    If Heaven is full of Xians, I’d rather burn in Hell.
    .
    I do happen to believe that if god does exist, and I end up having said awkward chat, I think I’ll have a much better shot at admission to his paradise than most of the ignoramuses who say I’m going to rot in hell.
    .
    Know why?
    .
    Because I’m going to live my life to the best of my ability, acting as humanly as possible. If we were created by said god, then we have the internal knowledge of what is right and wrong. Following that knowledge should be enough, kow-towing to some man on a stick simply because a bunch of old guys told me too just doesn’t seem all that important. If god is petty and small minded enough to say that, regardless of how well i treated others and how well i lived my life, because I did not get down on my knees and pray to him that I will not have access to heaven. Because I did not believe the words of another Human, I get to be eternally tortured. And i say unto you, “Lord”: Arrogant much?
    .
    Doesn’t really fit too well with what god is said to be. Contradictions abound, my friends. Church and religion is a human convention, and is corrupt. Listen to the voice you believe this god of yours has put into your mind: Treat others right, do no preach hate and hellfire, that is not his message. Now, i can fully understand burning in hellfire if god was to come into my mind and say, “Yo! Dude! I exist! and I appreciate a little love every once in a while!” And I say, “Screwz youz yo! Pasta time!” Then I can see some self righteous indignation. Otherwise, he isn’t a very good god.
    .
    Eh, its all unlikely anyway. god may exist, but I’m not going to waste my sundays or weekdays talking to myself. Far better chance the world was created by the Angel Hair wielding Lord of Noodles.

    RAmen!
    Sorry for the rambles! Hope it made some sense, I was more just.. thinking outloud.
    Cey!

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  17. 167 - Zekk - Jan 8th, 2008

    and you believe that some guy who sits on a cloud controls us telepathically and has the ability to send us underneath the earth where little red men poke us with pitch forks and the ability to send us up to a fluffy place where you can randomly get everything you want.

    Hello?! REALITY CHECK?!

    we actually know that spaghetti exists, yet there is no proof that god exists.

    OWNAGE!

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  18. 168 - Delilah - Jan 9th, 2008

    “God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!”\ I

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  19. 169 - sam - Jan 9th, 2008

    the amount of hypocrisies in this hate mail is amazing..

    im unable to even start writing about this because im simply blown away by how much stuff there is to contradict here..

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  20. 170 - Mike - Jan 9th, 2008

    I can’t read any of these without laughing. People are DUMB!

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  21. 171 - Exterminator - Jan 10th, 2008

    “i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!”
    .
    And what a fine job they did too, not only with your spelling and grammar but your obviously finely honed social skills as well!

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  22. 172 - JC - Jan 10th, 2008

    I ask you a fairly drawn out, yet nonetheless, important question:

    Do the leaders of your cult.. errr .. religion.. require the children to kneel down in front of a leader, consume alcoholic beverages, and put someone’s body in their mouths?

    Seriously messed up. And you think our religion is stupid?

    Go. Reflect. Say a trillion hail marys. Hopefully you will not breed.

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  23. 173 - neil - Jan 10th, 2008

    “happy i was well homeschooled becuase”

    ‘becuase’ ?

    well it seems to have worked for you. clearly not a slack jawed moron in any way shape or form. maybe if you stopped shagging your sister and eating squirrels long enough you might see the world around you.

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  24. 174 - neil - Jan 10th, 2008

    well at least you got one thing right…

    “i pray to my LORD jesus”

    correct – YOUR lord, not mine. buffoon.

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  25. 175 - skinimini - Jan 11th, 2008

    Yeah, your home schooling did a lot of good…religion allows you to stop thinking for yourself, which you’ve obviously NEVER done…And what makes you think we’re even accepting of the things you call Heaven and Hell?? Wouldn’t we have to believe in Hell in order to go there after death?? I don’t acknowledge the existence of either said place…

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  26. 176 - unknown - Jan 11th, 2008

    dude do you think that anyone on this site even beleives in hell i mean come on what proof do you even have that hell exists………..idiot.

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  27. 177 - skinimini - Jan 12th, 2008

    @JC “Hopefully you will not breed.”

    RAMEN TO THAT!! The last thing we need is more ignorant people in this world…Why is it religious equals ignorant??

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  28. 178 - JJ - Jan 13th, 2008

    “i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr!”

    Because THAT’S definitely what Jesus would do! Sounds like you need to spend less time being hypocritical and more time studying the religion you claim to follow.

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  29. 179 - tom - Jan 15th, 2008

    it’s a bit sad really. i thought christians were supposed to be friendly.

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  30. 180 - indigo v. - Jan 18th, 2008

    This makes me very sad.
    People like this, who get over stupid fights because of religion, I just can’t understand. Why do they feel the need to tell us we’ll burn in hell? WWJD, I thought that was their motto. The only message that Jesus had was to LOVE. How can you claim to follow him if you cannot follow his basic principle? You may know every psalm, all 12 disciples and the story of Jesus’ birth, but when it comes to loving your neighbor, you have some serious deficiencies.
    I hope one day that you’ll wake up from this demented dream and realize how many people you’ve hurt on your way to “heaven”. I’m just glad that I know not to pay you any attention.

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  31. 181 - kung foo colin - Jan 19th, 2008

    O goody, a real christian. Living roof that, as he stated himself, “People will believe anything!!”

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  32. 182 - yourgrandma - Jan 20th, 2008

    You know, the first thing that jumps out at me in most of these hate comments is the very real anger that the messages convey. The next thing I notice is the lack of spelling, punctuation and grammar. I am not a Pulitzer Prize winner, but I do tend to put some thought into what I’m saying.

    I don’t subscribe to any religion. If I have to be threatened to think a certain way, I run.

    One thing I will concede to the detractors is the Pirate aspect of the teachings. If my understanding of Pirate is correct (even in the nautical sence), there are more pirates now than ever. The coasts of Africa are pretty messed up lately. But I could be wrong. And that is the beauty of being a reasonable person. I can admit to being wrong. Isn’t it amazing?

    Ramen to all.

    Granny

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  33. 183 - Ann - Jan 26th, 2008

    i iz so happy i wuz homeschooled, soz i dint have to lern no puntuashun

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  34. 184 - Gavin - Jan 26th, 2008

    so much confusion…this one was hard to read:

    wow you people are crazy(comma) i pray to my LORD jesus christ (is that your Lord? and if so being a demi-god what would he do?) that you people wake up God (that we people wake up God [is he sleeping, and unknowing to what he has created? CHRISTIANS!!!) created man in his own image (period, delete next word) and im sorry but if you look like noodles with meatballs growin out your BUTT (huh huh...BUTT) you need to go back to SPACE or get back in the pan where you’ll be somebody(apostrophe)s dinner!

    people will believe anything!!

    (Apparently...)

    i am verryyy happy i was well homeschooled becuase (well you'll need to re-learn slelnipg)i would be in jail for punching a teacher in the face when she tried to tell me about this so called spagetti monsterr(delete last letter)!

    And if you weren't homeschooled Christian, would you still be Christian? Thus if not couldn't we rule out you punching a teacher in the face for teaching you Blasphemy according to YOUR religion?

    i hate to be the breaker of bad news (breaker of bad news...so now bad news doesn't work anymore? or what?) but when you look around when u die (very confusing sentence there: When you look around [comma] when you die, OR When you look around when you die [comma]) u wont be with your master meatball you’ll be burning in the pits of HELL (can you prove that??) and i am a REAL christian and that hurts to know that so many people are gonna be in hell (isn’t it a sin to judge as your Lord, the REAL Judge, would judge? is it not up to Him one’s destiny?) ! (random end of sentence there) over a random guy that started a joke and has nothing better to do besides make up some god for fun then see how many people are loving this idea (it was actually a response to YOUR FREAKISHLY crazy ass!!!).
    God bless you wacked out meatball loving freaks!
    -christy

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  35. 185 - sheldon - Jan 29th, 2008

    why thats all i as why do you hate us what did we ever do to you? huh i just dont understand it you know its people like you that give christians a bad name but because i am a pastafarian i have to say that its ok and even if you do belive diferently to us most chrisians will got to heaven

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  36. 186 - tigger95 - Mar 28th, 2008

    i believe that everyone has the right to believe what they want, and if there really is a flying spaghetti monster, all the more power to ya.

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  37. 187 - Cape Buffalo - Mar 28th, 2008

    You know Christy, my wife and I thought about homeschooling our son. But then we realized he needs the interaction with the other children in public school. That cannot be taught at homeschool.

    Im sure your a great person, but many of the people I know who homeschool their childern do so because they want to bring everything back to their christain god, so their child hears only this one narrow point of view. They don’t accept that there are things they just don’t know, and the bible doesn’t have any of the answers. Sad.

    It is not healthy for a young child to only be exposed to one narrow point of view for so many years. I sincerely hope for your sake that your experience in homeschool has not been a handicap you have had to deal with for your entire adult life.

    There is no Hell Chirsty, nor a heaven. Read a science book, and use your bible for something usefull, like tinder for your fireplace. The thin paper burns better than newspaper.

    I would love to punch a teacher in the face for telling my childern that just because there is a universe, then there MUST have been a god that created it. I wont because this is assult and battery, and I don’t want to go to jail over such sillyness. I would just tell my children the truth.

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  38. 188 - Cap’n Wolf - Mar 30th, 2008

    yourgrandma and Gavin are extremely correct.

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  39. 189 - Hepius - Mar 31st, 2008

    I missed the part in the Bible where Jesus tells us to punch our teachers in the face.

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  40. 190 - Bucken - Apr 18th, 2008

    U broked mah Bad n00z :’(

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  41. 191 - Maxwell - Apr 18th, 2008

    Ahhh, the “Burning in the pits of hell” unlike “real christians” argument. I’m pleased to see that like most christians, little Christy here is not afraid to punch out anyone that suggests her god may not be their god. Frankly, I’m glad you were ‘homeschooled’ too….it makes your horrible punctuation even that much funnier! (even though I rely heavily on the comma, which, in most cases, is, unnecessary.) I bet Mommy taught you the Earth is only 6000 years old too? Did she buy textbooks that showed jesus and dinosaurs together, or did she just use the bible as her textbook? Go play in the street.

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  42. 192 - Rich Rab - Jun 4th, 2008

    This is a simple arguement to settle. Just bring me your god personaly to my front door. All the thousands of gods that have existed and many still do from over the years. I will pimp slap all of them and put them on their knees in front of me and make all them suck my ****.
    Of coarse there is no such thing as god so I will have to hire one, sort of like hireing a santa at christmas.

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  43. 193 - Arrrr - Jul 8th, 2008

    Whoof, I’m veeeerrry happy you were homeschooled too. Heaven forbid you’d be out in PUBLIC.

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  44. 194 - Ayumi-chan - Sep 13th, 2008

    Well, if your God wants me to burn in Hell for such a minor offence, no WAY I’m going to worship him. Sorry, but I’d only be encouraging him ;)

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  45. 195 - Jack - Dec 19th, 2008

    what i want to know is why would you hate me just because i LOOKED like noodles?

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  46. 196 - Garrick McElroy - Jun 23rd, 2009

    With the billions, maybe trillions, of people your god has already sent to hell, why would you worry about a few more million?

    Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you,
    -GM
    RAmen

    If you have any questions about, or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net

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  47. 197 - Koko am Moko - Jul 30th, 2009

    @ Fred 151
    By that logic (i.e. you can’t prove God doesn’t exist, so therefore he does!) then EVERYTHING you can’t prove doesn’t exist, does actually exist. Like dragons. You can’t prove they don’t exist, so by your logic they do. And aliens (which many Xians don’t believe in) can’t be disproved, so then they must exist! See how stupid this is?
    Also, by that logic not only your god would exist, everyone else’s god would too. Just FYI there.
    And what does disproving god have to do with creating a fake religion? If we had to disprove your god, we might as well disprove them all. And that would take awhile, and it wouldn’t leave any time for pasta.
    Also, no one ever said that they have proof that god doesn’t exist. It just isn’t likely. So don’t be hating on people who don’t believe in something that isn’t very likely.
    @ the rest of you: Actually, I believe theoretically a woman can get pregnant without sex, but Mary would have difficulty with this. Ever heard of artificial insemination? It’s not really as grand as the Xians make it seem, now is it?
    I’ve got a question for anyone up to the challenge: What if Genesis was correct, and the Xian god did make something in his image. But it was aliens. And we’re the aliens of the people god made it his image.
    Just something different, I suppose.
    Make pasta not war!
    Koko am Moko

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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