As an agnostic Buddhist

As an agnostic Buddhist, I have to say there is not one speck of the FSM religious belief system that I find troublesome if it is to be taught in public schools alongside intelligent design. The FSM system of beliefs makes perfect sense to me (I recently realized I have many daily rituals that follow the Pastafarian scripture, as I have always loved pirates, strippers, and beer, and do enjoy a good marinara. I have no problem with my son being taught the divine nature of these things), and even though Buddhism certainly won’t be taught in southern US schools, I whole heartedly support the FSM theory be taught along side of intelligent design.

Our children must see both the noodle and the meatball in order to find their way. You certainly shouldn’t study ID without FSM. I also would like to suggest that teachers who are to speak the words of the gospel should do so in a respectable way, by dressing as either the pope, a priest or nun while teaching ID (out of respect of course) and then to dress as a pirate while teaching FSM theory as not to offend the Pastafarians. When speaking any words of the gospel of the FSM, they should of course do that in pirate-speak, to do so any other way, would be offensive.

Of course when discussing global warming in science class, both the scientific theory presented by Al Gore in “An Inconvenient Truth”, AND the MP (missing pirate) theory of global warming should be taught side by side as well (if there is equally compelling evidence in the ID texts that there is an alternate theory specifically directed at global warming in ID, that should of course be allowed equal time).
-anima8or

41 Responses to “As an agnostic Buddhist”
  1. 1 - muuse - Dec 25th, 2007

    yarr

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  2. 2 - muuse - Dec 25th, 2007

    rAmen

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  3. 3 - Cap’n NS - Dec 25th, 2007

    rAmen indeed.
    I get taught ID by a catholic priest in my school, but it’s in the RE classroom and he also teaches alternatives.

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  4. 4 - CindyB - Dec 25th, 2007

    Dearest Agnostic B:

    You have a fabulous attitude and I agree with everything. If more people, Pastafarian or no, wore pirate garb, the world would be a better place. Your statement “our children must see both the noodle and the meatball in order to find their way,” was very enlightening and I plan on using it when telling folks about FSM. Hope you don’t mind…

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  5. 5 - Paisley the Pirate - Dec 25th, 2007

    RAmen, and happy Holiday!

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  6. 6 - PirateFridge™ - Dec 25th, 2007

    RAmen Mr Anima8tor! May you be blessed by His Noodly Appendage.

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  7. 7 - Etay - Dec 25th, 2007

    Hey! It’s Anny! What’s up?
    Anyway…
    Thanks for this. I’m glad to see at least one Agnostic Buddhist appreciates our beliefs.
    RAmen.

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  8. 8 - Black Hearted Jake - Dec 25th, 2007

    I hear the sound of one hand clapping.

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  9. 9 - punkmonk - Dec 25th, 2007

    RAmen to that man

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  10. 10 - PirateHooker - Dec 26th, 2007

    Yhaaarrrr. FSM theory must be taught. Else we anger His tasteful wrath. I’d rather be dead than face the power of his supreme deliciousness. TEACH! TEACH! else the world will be boiled in His pasta kitchen.

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  11. 11 - Tagliatellius - Dec 26th, 2007

    A Very Merry Plugmass to all pasta based life forms.
    Fundamentalist twats, stew in your twisted bile for all eternity, minus time off for good behaviour, Ramen, Hic……hic……This Czech Budvar….hic…lager is really…….hic……very..hic…..god”””’GOD!
    hic………I mean grud…..fukc……………………………….

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  12. 12 - Repmuht - Dec 26th, 2007

    @Anim8tor
    May your Nirvana be filled with beer and strippers.

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  13. 13 - Ayumi-chan - Dec 26th, 2007

    RAmen to one who shares my beliefs. RAmen indeed. You are truly touched by His Noodly Appendage.

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  14. 14 - Roger That - Dec 26th, 2007

    Yes. RAmen indeed. Great to see some intelligent posting.

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  15. 15 - StJason - Dec 26th, 2007

    Happy ChriFSMas! FSM bless us everyone!

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  16. 16 - Gaara_Loves_Ramen - Dec 26th, 2007

    Woot!
    RAmen to that man.
    I love your attitude.

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  17. 17 - John Phillips (aka Iron John Bonney) - Dec 26th, 2007

    Well said anima8or, and, better late than never, a happy noodlemass to one and all irrespective of your personal beliefs. Even you hate mail senders, or perhaps especially you hate mail senders, as you need to feel the touch of his noodly appendages more than most.
    .
    RAmen

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  18. 18 - a sarcastic wench - Dec 26th, 2007

    RAmen.

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  19. 19 - neal - Dec 26th, 2007

    You know the Pope has some bitchin’ hats. I’m thinkin FSM store should start offering a three foot tall inverted truncated cone hat with the image of the FSM on it.

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  20. 20 - George - Dec 26th, 2007

    RAmen

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  21. 21 - rmw - Dec 26th, 2007

    RAmen, anima8or! It is refreshing to hear from an enlightened soul such as yourself. May your bowl of pasta runneth over and may you be touched by his noodley appendage.

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  22. 22 - Mike - Dec 26th, 2007

    I love the love mail. That’s what it’s all about. I’m curious, I have only limited knowledge regarding Buddhism and am curious if there is a creation theory in Buddhism. If so it would have every right to be taught side by side with the FSM theory.

    Pasta be with you,
    Ramen

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  23. 23 - Michael - Dec 26th, 2007

    RAmen (Happy Allah-Days!)

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  24. 24 - mnoutdoorlover - Dec 26th, 2007

    Aaaarrrrrramen!

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  25. 25 - Ohio Pirate - Dec 27th, 2007

    Well said!!!
    RAmen!!

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  26. 26 - PaulecoTreco - Dec 27th, 2007

    As an agnostic Agnostic, I could make a point here: Jesus said (I’m not sure whether he really existed or not though) “Come all the poors and the children for theirs is the Kingdom of God” – or something like that, I read the bible when I was 7 – and he was right! For if there were no rich people on earth to deceive poor people then poverty would not exist and Jesus would have nothing to do but to stay still there like a…Christ. What to do with children once there is no chance of them not existing – well this is a really complex philosophical question (don’t ask Herodes, please – he failed!).

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  27. 27 - Elliott Averett - Dec 27th, 2007

    I’m an agnostic Buddhist as well, and I really appreciated your post. RAmen.

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  28. 28 - MsOfTheDark - Dec 28th, 2007

    WOW…….Very interesting, something I have never heard of, but none the less interesting.

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  29. 29 - Teh Spag-worshipper - Dec 28th, 2007

    RAmen to that! After so long browsing only the hate mail section (ah, the joys of ‘debating’ with fundies), it’s refreshing to know people like this actually exist!

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  30. 30 - katelyn - Dec 28th, 2007

    RAmen brother! It is great to hear how His saucey goodness has touched you with his noodley appendege! May others souls be enlightened by Him as you have. RAmen, Sause be with you!

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  31. 31 - Blanche Carbohydrate - Dec 30th, 2007

    “Pay ‘de load!”

    That’s what you say when the Spaghetti arrives and the Spaghetti has arrived! I can not heap enough organically grown victory garden tomatoes into the sauce in praise of your fine effort here on behalf of the whole spiritual community. It hasta be pasta! RAmen!

    Blanche

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  32. 32 - ZEN TOFU STUD RASCAL - Dec 31st, 2007

    Wow! This is really amazing, but I too am an agnostic buddhist, who has recently heard the calling to return to my pastafarian roots! Does anyone else think that maybe there’s something to this? Perhaps in the same way that some believe Abraham’s God created all of the people on earth, but then chose the people of Israel to be his “special people unto himself, above all others” (Deut. 7:6) – maybe our noodley master has chosen us agnostic buddhists as HIS favorites! I’m going to get meditating – I mean FETA-tating – right away to see if I can receive any further insight into “The Four Noodle Truths”. I will close for tonight with the newly revealed mantra…

    “BOY-AR-DEE-PAD-THAI-YUM”

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  33. 33 - Anim8or - Dec 31st, 2007

    To answer a couple of the questions.

    1. Agnostic Buddhism means that we believe in the Buddhist philosophy, which in a nutshell states that material greed causes most of the pain in the world, I personally believe in Chi (but probably more in the scientific Stephen Hawking, quantum physics way). The Agnostic part is where we are un-sure of the things that can’t be scientifically proven, so we sort of believe what seems “real”, like to me, the idea of Chi going somewhere when you die makes sense ( because Hawking proved that electricity can’t die, and quantum physics pretty much proves that your consciousness is electrical). I do believe in some sort of cosmic guidance, but not some dude with a beard causing everything. I also don’t believe that people get punished in the afterlife, I think the misery your life turns into when you put out too much bad Karma (ie, people thinking you are a dink and treating you as such) is enough.

    2. Buddhist creation myth is actually quite interesting, because it’s close the big bang theory. That all life came from one mass of energy that fractured into independent consciousness, and follows quantum theory very closely as well, in that all things are still connected on the level of Chi (electrical life energy which every eastern religion has words for and we don’t), and consciousness is the electrical energy that flows through the human body. The concept of Karma plays heavily, to me, Karma is the “Swing your arms as wide and fast as you want, just don’t smack anyone while you are doing it”.

    I simply found Buddhism to be based on real analysis of the world using scientific concepts and philosophy of making the world a nice place to live, rather than some guy making up a story to make money, save Rome, or have an excuse to kill people with bigger noses than himself (something that seems to be a running theme of human existence… I think probably related to the “size of a man’s nose, being related to the size of his… you know”)….

    Of course as far as guys making up stories (and I am fairly sure he is a messiah, so he is probably correct, and if he isn’t, I am sure the FSM is stepping in to correct his data as he writes it, so it’s OK in this case) the FSM is the closest thing to a scientific religion I have ever seen in western culture… so I love it, and have no conflict in allowing the FSM to fill in the agnostic side of my Buddhist philosophical beliefs. I was already practicing “talk like a pirate day” even before discovering where it came from. So it was divine intervention.

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  34. 34 - Jade - Jan 3rd, 2008

    RAmen!

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  35. 35 - Momi Pink Shoes - Jan 3rd, 2008

    Wow! Anim8or! You actually responded to us! Yay!
    .
    You have truly been touched by his noodle. Ramen to you, my friend!

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  36. 36 - jason the amazing whiteboy - Jan 6th, 2008

    well personally, i dont think that intelligent design should be taught in schools, or FSMism for that matter. keep them both out, or have them both in if need be. not just one or the other.

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  37. 37 - Zekk - Jan 8th, 2008

    Thank you :)

    I am buddhist myself and have long argued that if you want a peacful world, either ban religion, or become wither buddhist or pastafarian. Anyone agree with me or is it just the sugar rush??

    :P

    YOU RULE!

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  38. 38 - skinimini - Jan 11th, 2008

    RAMEN!! HERE, HERE!

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  39. 39 - Cap’n Wolf - Mar 30th, 2008

    RAMEN!

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  40. 40 - Francesc - Mar 31st, 2008

    @ Anim8or

    ehm… i agree with you about the “philosophy of making the world a nice place to live” thing. But I’m sorry it’s the only part of your response I can agree with.

    “I simply found Buddhism to be based on real analysis of the world using scientific concepts ” is silly. The man who invented Buddhism didn’t knew a thing -he couldn’t, provided god’s revelation- about the Big-bang. If it seems accurate to you is because you want it to seem.

    What you are describing to us is a religion? Well, what’s the difference between ID god and the “cosmic guidance”??

    “when you put out too much bad Karma” – can you give us a prove that Karma exists? It’s a statistic correlation between “bad actions” and “bad luck? So, in wich way that’s a scientific approach?

    “the idea of Chi going somewhere when you die makes sense ( because Hawking proved that electricity can’t die, and quantum physics pretty much proves that your consciousness is electrical)”
    - ok, that was good…
    1.- To establish a link between quantum physics and any philosophy/religion is bullshit. quantum physics doesn’t speaks about consciousness…
    2.- What’s the Chi? Have you seen his effects? Wich are his properties? It’s more scientific than christian’s soul?
    3.- Electricity can’t die… ok, a vast majority of our atoms will still be here hundreds of years after our decease; in fact, the atoms I was born with aren’t more in my body, but they still exists somewhere. You are doing the same with that “electricity”

    So, I was meaning that Buddhism is a religion, and I would like you to see that it’s as nonsense -in scientific terms- as any other religion. As it is FSM. You can believe in it but not prove it.

    RAmen

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  41. 41 - PeggyLuWho - Aug 15th, 2008

    Wow. The voice of reason. Many beers and strippers to you.

    RAmen

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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