You are an idiot

You are an idiot. You’re nothing more than a evangelist for idiocy. Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster. Get a life. I’d say get a job but what idiot would hire you?
-Harrison

127 Responses to “You are an idiot”

Pages: « 1 2 [3] Show All

  1. 101 - neal - Dec 26th, 2007

    @ Uncle Jesse. Your daughter sounded like a most precocious young child. To be reading the FSM website and ordering FSM t-shirts with her Amex. Or was it Visa? And then, to elect what the Stoics called the “noble option” when she realized what balderdash the Xtain religion was! And to do it from a church roof! Well done, young lady, well done!

    Your daughter was undoubtedly doing this to make certain that none of your genes continued to pollute our pool. Again, Bravo for her, for accepting her Darwin award with such equanimity.
    Seriously, Uncle Jesse, I share yours and Cooter’s grief over her passing. I’m sure she would have made a fine scientist and been nothing like you. Who knows if more guys like you had more daughters like her, states like Alabama, Tennessee, North and South Caroline, Virginia and West Virginia, might all turn blue on Anderson Cooper’s presidential election board by 2020 if not sooner.
    Here’s hoping. And you say there’s no such thing as evolutionl

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  2. 102 - Newly Converted - Dec 26th, 2007

    Fat Tony and rmw… I’m sorry… I didn’t eat all day when I typed that, so I kinda got screwed over with the memory thing. :)

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  3. 103 - neal - Dec 27th, 2007

    @Uncle Jesse, how’s her mother Daisy taking the news, how did Bo and Luke feel? I new sooner or later you would pluck that Daisy, you codger you!

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  4. 104 - That was Actually kinda funny - Dec 28th, 2007

    This guy sounds more convincing then any of the other people commenting here. The FSM church has just lost one convert.

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  5. 105 - pheer6224 - Dec 28th, 2007

    Blasphhemer!

    You, sir, are an idiot.

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  6. 106 - Gaz - Dec 29th, 2007

    I’d have to agree..
    This poster sounds like they actually have half a brain!
    It must be the FSM trying to trick us into not believing!

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  7. 107 - zach - Dec 29th, 2007

    Our Profit Has loads of money from spreading the words of our Noodly Creator the FSM religion has millions of followers world wide

    RAmen

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  8. 108 - Shinysheep - Dec 29th, 2007

    well. It makes a change from the illiterate hate mail I usually see on here. However, I’m not sure what this guy is getting at.

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  9. 109 - iwishyouwouldlearntoreadafarian - Dec 29th, 2007

    @That was Actually Kinda Funny

    You should be embarrassed to admit that Harrison convinced you of anything considering everything he typed lacked any type of intelligence. “This guy sounds more convincing than any of the other people commenting here”? Convinced you of what? That hate-mailers are idiots? That hate-mailers don’t get the point of this whole thing? You must be a very sad individual. If Harrison was able to convince you with his garbage then I am sure you are one of those people that fall victim to email and phone scams.

    May His Noodly Appendage have mercy on your grainy soul!

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  10. 110 - Cap’n Ollie - Dec 29th, 2007

    Love it!!
    “spewing moronic brain excrement “!!
    The problem with your argument is the line “Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass [...]deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster”- implying that somebody is doing a bad thing, but condemning them to something awesome?
    If anything you have encouraged people to send money to Bob Henderson in the hope we will go to pasta heaven.

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  11. 111 - GB - Dec 30th, 2007

    Now that the Flying Shit Monster is considered an alternate theory, the schools will need to give it equal time with the Flying Spaghetti Monster, creationism, all other religions and actual science – how will they ever find the time?

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  12. 112 - Momi Pink Shoes - Jan 2nd, 2008

    I kind of have a job…
    .
    “Oh my gosh! They believe something other than what I do!! They must be Satan!”

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  13. 113 - Pete - Jan 3rd, 2008

    Uncle Jessie’s story proves the superiority of Pastafarianism. No child would be able to throw themselves to their deaths off the roof of one of our churches since His Noodleyness “Rather We Wouldn’t” build them. Looks like FSM cares more about our safety than the supposed christian god does.

    Of course I call total BS on his story as well so the point is moot.

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  14. 114 - Pluto - Jan 3rd, 2008

    @ Uncle Jessie- You will rot in FSM hell with diseased infested hookers and stale beer!
    I read the Bible (I’m only 26 years old) and jumped of a brothel wearing one of your ‘I love Jesus’ T-shirts. Consequently I am now dead! I hope you are happy with yourself!
    Wile poor innocent pastifarians (and maybe some pizzafarians???) are trying to save the educational standards of future generations, you are destroying it.
    The poor non-ID supporting members of the Kansas school board face a lot of resistance and scrutiny to teaching good science to benefit the future of humanity. Those intelligent people are in grave danger because of hatful evangelical types.
    In other words, you are almost as bad as Moses!
    Merry Easter!

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  15. 115 - Wench Nikkiee - Jan 3rd, 2008

    @That was Actually kinda funny Dec 28th, 2007 at 4:27 am
    “This guy sounds more convincing then any of the other people commenting here.”
    .
    Gullible much?
    .
    “The FSM church has just lost one convert.”
    .

    And gained 20….
    RAmen

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  16. 116 - the first midget - Jan 4th, 2008

    heres the thing you have to understand about pastfarianism: its not as much about the actual religion as it is about the point it makes, how if you acknowledge one intelligent design theory as correct, its only fair to acknowledge them all.

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  17. 117 - Banditopants - Jan 7th, 2008

    Well he DOES have that physics degree

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  18. 118 - Zekk - Jan 8th, 2008

    Flying Shit Monster? You have No imagination >:-(

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  19. 119 - Delilah - Jan 9th, 2008

    if you’re going to insult someone’s god, you could be respectful, His name is the Flying Spaghetti Monster

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  20. 120 - XaurreauX - Jan 9th, 2008

    Whew! That guy is a genius!

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  21. 121 - neil - Jan 10th, 2008

    as with most idiots you are clearly confused, you say:

    “spewing moronic brain excrement”

    this is interesting as most inbred zelots tend to be impressively anal in their outlook whereas you seem to be unfamiliar with the most rudimentary bodily functions.

    surely even one with such a low forhead as your good self would recognise you either

    a) spew moronic brain vomit – or
    b) defacate moronic brain excrement

    or maybe the ‘intelligent designer’ was having an off day when he hooked you up

    idiot

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  22. 122 - N - Jan 11th, 2008

    Flying shit monster! That’s a brilliant turn of phrase. I like how people often add a “flying” before expletives, as in, “I don’t give a flying fuck.” You sir are a gifted writer

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  23. 123 - Gavin - Jan 26th, 2008

    You are an idiot. You’re nothing more than a evangelist for idiocy. Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster. Get a life. I’d say get a job but what idiot would hire you?
    -Harrison

    Dear God,

    The anger that flows through me is unbearable…
    what? why God?
    i don’t know:

    anyway…
    Actually the FSM and Pastafarianism is a brilliant piece of work…even if one doesn’t accept it as a religion one should take it for what it’s worth: an idea that keeps Idiocy and Blind Faith out of the world, starting in public schools…
    Apparently Good ol’ Mister Henderson does have SOME sort of life if he can create such a simple but (what word to describe) Great idea…

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  24. 124 - sheldon - Jan 29th, 2008

    Harrison im not a violant person why do you care in what we belive? and i have a life probebly more so then you because i dont sit on a computer all day bad mouthing people of differant belifs

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  25. 125 - Cape Buffalo - Mar 28th, 2008

    Im confused… there are evangelics who don’t preach idiocy?

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  26. 126 - Cap’n Wolf - Mar 30th, 2008

    Hear, hear, Sheldon! RAmen!

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  27. 127 - the random frog - Jun 11th, 2008

    wow! what a brilliant description of preists.
    ’sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world ‘

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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