You are an idiot. You’re nothing more than a evangelist for idiocy. Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster. Get a life. I’d say get a job but what idiot would hire you?
-Harrison
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Something tells me we’re going to see Uncle Jesse in the hate-mail section again (put side-by-side with that one guy’s friend who was expelled from school).
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And no thank you for brain excrement, they give Kuru diseases.
@Uncle Jesse- Are you one of those “creepy uncles”?
@Newly Converted–don’t punch yourself. Our pasta creator is secure enough that he’s okay with a bit of skepticism. He says so in the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts.” And your fellow Pastafarians are okay with some doubt/skepticism too. We won’t ostracize you! All are welcome. (With the possible exception of asses like Harrison and Uncle Jesse.)
Yeah, it seems we will get another lie about a 5 year old jumping off the roof of a church eventually from our dear uncle. Hopefully his noodley appendage will touch uncle over holiday
Peace IPA
Flying /spaghetti/ monster. If you must insult us, at least do so properly.
And include an actual argument.
And read about Bobby Henderson’s qualifications before you say only an idiot would hire him.
And judge not, so you be not judged.
In fact, just go and have a nice long think in the corner. Here, I’ll even give you some metaphorical chalk to flick at metaphorical classmates from under your metaphorical dunce’s cap.
i think harrison has his man period
Maybe the Flying Shit Monster is really the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s invisible evil twin brother who was sent to tempt the world away from Pasta and Pirates?
I know this is completely unrelated, but it was so funny I had to post it here.
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I live in Lynchburg, Virginia, U.S.A, which is an extremely baptist city. I was watching tv earlier, and a commercial for a christian boarding school came on. Now, usually X-ians try to be subtle about their children’s brainwashing, but this commercial came right out and said, “Here, we don’t just teach your children what to think, we teach them how to think.”
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Ok, that’s it for the off-topic posting. I’ll leave for now.
@ Harrison
So exactly the same as people paying to get into heaven in the middle ages then?
Please don’t refer to the monster as shit as I’m also made from Spaghetti and find your comments soooo out off touch. Along with the lepracauns that reside beside me there are numerous other wonderful creatures but don’t know our maker you non believer
TheLaughingMan
Dec 30th, 2006 at 10:41 am
If by first you mean I wrote the comment after I took a shower, got unpacked, helped the rest of my family unpack, called my girlfriend to tell her I was back (unlike you I can actually be with her because she goes to my school), ate dinner, watched my Friday show, then came in to laugh my ass off at you guys turning into cavemen because I wasn’t here (which appears to be true)… then yeah, it was at the top of my to-do list. And thanks for being able to spell Daffodil correctly, I’m sure glad you took the time to commit the spelling of it to heart. If you’re going to give me flower names… I find it only right that I should give you one. How about “Giant Pansy”?
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P.S. My Grandparent’s mansion was pretty nice. It was a pity though that the Pool was too cold for use, even with the heat turned all the way on. I do so love their underwater sound system.
Harrison,
It’s simply satire. Delicious, noodly satire. Just roll with it.
Mmm.
catching up from earlier in the thread….
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@dariox, Dec 20th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
“henderob, you’re an extreme atheist!”
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Huh, the prophet who has enlightened so many to see the light of the worlds fastest growing religion is an atheist? What is your definition of atheist if I may ask?
@Resonator
“I have to pose this question as well, and to anyone who cares to answer:
Is a belief made more true by:
(a)the number of people who believe in it
(b)how long it’s been believed
(c)how much money and property is owned by supporters of the belief
(d)how many books are written in support of the belief
(e)how much money, power and fame is gained by the authors of books in support of the belief
(f)how fanatically the believers believe it
(g)how many disbelievers have been murdered by believers”
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The answer would be different for either a rational thinking or religious mind.
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(a) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(a) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Do you honestly think that all these people would believe the same all over the world if each and every one of them hadn’t all been touched by god?!
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(b) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(b) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Do you honestly think that if it wasn’t true people would still believe it after 2000 years?! Of course it’s true. My parents taught it to me when I was little. And I will teach it to my children. Jesus loves me and I love him! Just as he loves you. If you would only open your heart to him…..
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(c) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(c) from a religious mind (say, a Catholic): of course it’s true! Well, yeah, I know that our church has quite a bit of money. But there are many of us devout believers who generously give to the good cause. Hey! The vatican has given much more money to help Africa [my insert: by teaching people living in AIDS-ridden regions that using condoms is a sin] than you have given from your salary last year! Why must you atheists be so negative!
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(d) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(d) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! You should read C. S. Lewis. It’s so beautiful. It is truly revealing how he expresses christian beliefs, ahhhh.
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(e) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(e) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Don’t you know that Allister McGrath has written a very powerful reply to Dawkins empty shouting in The God Delusion? And people are reading it! His book ‘The Dawkins Delusion’ is currently ranked #173 on Amazon in Luxemburg.
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(f) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(f) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Allah al Akbar you infidel pigdogs!!! Steer a bit lower Atta. Try hitting the tower around the 20th floor. That’s it, that’s it. Now my drove of 72 clumsy, inexperienced, technique-lacking virgins: here I come!!!
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(g) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(g) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Yes, the crusades had their bloody side, which is unfortunate. But is was in a good cause. Look, I’ve had enough of your negative questions. You want to deny Him? Well that’s your mistake. I’ll pray for your soul that is destined to burn for eternity. Not that I care about atheist trash like you, but I’ll get some extra browny points for it, so that I will get raptured into heaven. I’ve arranged for you to get an email once I’m there. God bless.
@Irish Pastafarian Army
There is a growing Pastafarian presence in Ireland, both north and south of the border. Maybe we should form our own chapter. If you want to meet up with us sometime send me an email at t.p.c.klaver@qub.ac.uk. Same for you Irish_man_made_from_Spaghetti.
“Get a life. I’d say get a job but what idiot would hire you?” - the life and job thing again? Could Harrison and chris from the “you guys are a joke thread” be one and the same?
Today, when I waked up, I found myself being pastafarian :)
Thanks for your initiative and let the year 2008 be with good for you and for people that can’t see behind theirs noses too…
I presume Harrison is addressing Bobby Henderson and calling him “an evangelist for idiocy.” Interesting how the people like Harrison who write this type of letter don’t recognize that they lack a sense of satire, humor, whimsy or piracy. Can’t help but feel sorry that “God” has not blessed them with those qualities, as they make life worth living! I hope for Harrison’s sake that the FSM touches him with His Noodly A. and injects some humor into the man.
It’s just funny how they don’t realise how parallel their beliefs are.
I’m thinking that Pastafarianism lacks a lame mixed metaphor song. The Xtains have “Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord”.
Should we have something like “Clean out the ear wax of my stomach, O Noodly One’?