You are an idiot. You’re nothing more than a evangelist for idiocy. Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster. Get a life. I’d say get a job but what idiot would hire you?
-Harrison
Connect with other Pastafarians
First hate-mail to make me laugh out loud. Thank you.
Thanks to this scientific experiment we have now found the center of the universe… it is inside Harrison. Ok we ca all go back to being narrow minded bigots.
No, no, no, Flying Spaghetti Monster, not shit monster.
Who would hire me?
Pirates, for one.
Oh no! A angry person on the Internet! Lets all do as he says, since we have never encountered this kind of behavior online!
And to counter, what idiot would hire someone who insults people over the Internet? Isn’t that in itself a sign of sever idiocy?
I get the feeling he’s trying to say something. I’m just not sure what.
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I don’t get it. Is he a fundie attacking us for our lack of Christian faith or an atheist who couldn’t be bothered to read what he’s complaining about?
Wow, someone who is angry and appears to be mostly literate. Don’t see that everyday.
Bobby, you must get so hurt by these hateful, discriminatory comments. Why oh why can’t more people see that our religion is a religion of peace? -emotear-
You? I think you’re enough of an idiot to hire our prophet, who in fact isn’t an evangelist for idiocy. I’d say may the FSM bless you, but since he blesses whoever he wants, it’s no use.
RAmen.
LOL Flying Shit Monster! At least he spelled everything correctly!
Do you know what FSM hell is like?
henderob, you’re an extreme atheist!
Actually Bobby is doing a very important job. But unfortunately the ‘product’ - knowledge and facts - hasn’t entered Harrisons head.
Keep up your excellent work Bobby.
Hmmmm, Church of the Flying Shit Monster? It could exist.
Bobby, have you ever considered becoming a televangelist for idiocy? Oh, wait a minute, there’s probably too many of those out there already.
Why does this website attract so many angry people?
Love people, love!!!
FSM loves you
I call dibs to copyright “moronic brain excrement,” sounds like a good name for my new evangelical rock band
I don’t think that last try posted, but anyways I want dibs on “moronic brain excrement,” as the name for my new idiot evangelical rock band
Has anyone ever noticed that moronic brain excrement smells just like garlic? I love the smell of garlic. Jesus smelled like garlic, but I do not love Jesus (though I don’t hate Jesus either). I just love the idea of the smell of Jesus. Well, I would have enjoyed the smell of Jesus. Now he probably just smells like dust, which I don’t care for much.
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Someday I’ll smell like dust too, then I will completely resemble Jesus, and eventually Harrison (though I hope that no one smells like dust anytime soon, unless they’re really into that sort of thing). The good thing is that then we will all have something in common and won’t have to cast aspersions on each other’s fundamentally arbitrary systems of earnestly held mythological beliefs and superstitions.
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I have to pose this question as well, and to anyone who cares to answer:
Is a belief made more true by:
(a)the number of people who believe in it
(b)how long it’s been believed
(c)how much money and property is owned by supporters of the belief
(d)how many books are written in support of the belief
(e)how much money, power and fame is gained by the authors of books in support of the belief
(f)how fanatically the believers believe it
(g)how many disbelievers have been murdered by believers
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It would be fun to apply this to all of the beliefs that have been disproven by science and are now accepted by even the most rabid zealots
LOL Flying Shit Monster!!!
I laughed so hard.
HAIL F.S.M!!!!
While I’m pretty sure the ‘S’ stands for ‘Spaghetti’, those who are looking for a deity more deserving of classical fear-based worship might have to look into this idea of a flying shit monster; personally, I don’t give a flying f***.
Why do these people find the need to fly off the handle? These threats of hell fire fly in the face of the more progressive theological beliefs on the subject. Don’t they say you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar?
so much hate in his anger :(
why do ppl always bash religion i don’t understand :(
Bobby the Prophet showed me that there is intelligent life on this planet
and thats what makes life worth living.
I am really amazed by the fact that harrison can turn on the computer without assuming its Magic or Witch Craft. Looks like the Christian Fanatics are getting smarter by the day. I wish there were more open minded christians that post on this site who will explain why we are wrong with our choice to believe in the almighty FSM. One logical reason why what we are doing is bad or is demeaning christianity. If one offshoot religion can demean christianity without saying one harmful word against it, there must be some serious problems>(sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes, not on the top of my game today)
Respectfully
Jebus
Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster.
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I see only 1 mistake in that, its a spaghetti monster. for the rest, yes, we will be with him in heaven, and there’ll be beer, and strippers too.
“moronic brain excrement” Is that what this guy refers to thoughts as? I bet his brain is clear of them. well at least he didn’t call us gay….
I can’t figure out if most of these posters are suffering from God envy or job envy. It appears that a lot of them want to tell the moderator to “get a job”. Could it be because they are such career duds that what they are doing is the functional equivalent of shovelling shit in hell and want anyone who has found something more enjoyable to do, do have to make their daily bread doing something as stultifying as what they do.
All I think to say to that is - YOUR MOM!
I’m constantly amazed at what “intelligent” beings are supportive of intelligent design.
Kind of makes you go hmmmmm.
“Who would hire you.”
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Somebody looking to hire a guy with a degree in physics. What’s your degree in? I’m guessing by your sentence structure that it’s not English.
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JT
The FSM church looks every bit as legitimate as LDS (mormans, extra doctorines authored by the polygamist Joseph Smith), Scientology (doctorines authored by L. Ron Hubbard, science fiction writer), Islam (doctorines authored by Mohammad, pedophile, polygamist) and I could go on and on. The point is that everyone needs to believe in something… I believe I´ll have another beer.
It saddens me that some people can be so ignorant.
So, to what address should we send that penny?
Church of the “Flying Shit Monster” Huh? Well that finally explains where the heck the managers at my place of employment have their minds!!!
I think someone needs a noodly hug.
Anyone else flocking their tree with parmesan cheese this year? Just checking …
I love how they post hateful messages and run. They must lack the intelligence to respond to our rebuttals!
Live Long on Pasta and Prosper!
RAmen!
I love my pasta Deity!!!!
Here’s a question. Do the people who send the hate mail ever come back and read our comments and respond to them? I mean, do they ever attempt to engage in the debate, rather than deposit their own brand of “moronic brain excrement”?
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Some of the hate mail (present company excluded) is actually quite thoughtful and I for one would be interested in knowing how they respond to equally well considered arguments to the contrary.
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Was just wondering, is all.
Drew
Speaking of spewing brain excrement. The run on sentence; “You’re nothing more than a evangelist for idiocy. Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster.” is an assault to my publicly educated eyes. Someone so self righteous must have paid for their education.
so much anger there is…
to the dark side they will turn..
i, the jedi master would like to announce that i am becoming a pastafarian…
screw the force… i didnt see it helping us blow up the death star. Truly the fsm was with young sky walker that day
(insane giggles)
@ I love eruptions in heaven:
The other error, unless I’m mistaken, is that Bobby is not in possession of a donkey. If he does, there’s no reason to be so mean to it.
Yet another thoughtful, intelligent post from those concerned with FSMism. o_O And why do these people seem to think if you believe in FSM, you’re automatically unemployed? Or that no one would hire us?
I’d hire him :D
Mind you, though; I’m an idiot.
Yah…
We should have a holiday called PENNEcost based on Pentecost. We eat lots of thin noodles. Yum!!!
You are all going to fry in HELL!!!! My daughter read this and lost her faith (she is 5 years old) and she jumped off the roof of our church wearing one of your T-shirts.
While poor innocent Christians (and maybe some Jews??) are trying to save people’s souls, you are destroying them.
The poor Kansas school board faces lots of resistance and scrutiny to teach the truth to help out our future society. Those brave souls on the school board are in grave danger because of sites like this. In other words, you are nearly the equivalent of the KKK.
Merry Christmas.
A response:
You are an idiot.
So are you looking in a mirror or what?
You’re nothing more than an evangelist for idiocy.
Once again, you must have one of those really glossy screens on your computer that reflects your face.
Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster.
He’s made of spaghetti, not shit. Though I do admit that the meatballs look somewhat like excrement when you are drunk off of all the beer in heaven. Hey, I’m looking forward to that eternity.
Get a life.
Looks like Bobby has one. Do you?
I’d say get a job but what idiot would hire you?
Doesn’t he already have a job? I mean, isn’t Bobby making money doing something he’d do anyway even if he weren’t making money off of it, i.e., making and selling Flying Spaghetti Monster merchandise? Hell, I’d like a job like that.
RAmen
Marion Sudvarg, Chief Dungeon Master of the quest involving Dread Pirate Captain Daniel Roberts and his infamous crew
[”Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster.”]
Well… if you would please direct me to the FSM mailing address - I’d be glad to send you a penny.
1 - to support Him, and ..
2 - to piss off Harrison
(Ok - mostly for #2)
Maybe we can get everyone to send a penny and then drive the truck of pennies onto Harrison’s front lawn with a letter instructing him to buy a new life? Nah .. he’d probably blow it all by tithing it to his preacher who has “miraculously” conned people into donating 10% of their paychecks.
Personally - I’d rather give 10% of my paychecks to hookers and beer!
You know, I’m a pretty hardcore christian myself and you know what? I love the flying spaghetti monster! Whoever thinks that you guys are going to hell either has no idea what they’re talking about, or no sense of humor. Possibly both.
No more hating! Please! open minded discussion will do fine!
p.s. the eight I’d rather you didn’ts… (chuckle, chuckle)
this man obviously believes that our religion is horrible when his does not make sense at all
Does your religion promise a beer volcano and a stripper factory?
I would much rather worship a flying spaghetti monster than a man, or a fat man, or even a god that has a crocodile head for a head. (Offler, the crocodile god. Hail Terry Pratchett!)
You, sir, are a sorry, hate filled person. Take it easy!
Before i start i’ll just say i am an ex-christian…
sakanagai, im almost positive the “S” stands for “spaghetti”. And i have to agree with Cap´n Lauritzen, since realising that the creator is none other then The Flying Spaghetti Monster himself. The world seems to make a lot more sense. And since browsing this website I have seen nothing but intelligent, intellectual people. Also ranting happens to be one of my most favourite things to do!
Praise our noodely lord, coming all the way from the UK!! (not our noodely lord, i am….. coming all the way from the uk, forget it)
PASTA BE WITH YOU
Hmm, what Jo could i get with a takent for spewing moronic brain excrement. i know, maybe i could be a bishop, i’m sure i’d fit right in wih your church. I guess with practice i could go from being a common idiot, to an IDiot worthy of your attention.
What is your problem? Why can people not except that are religion is just as valid as theres, if not more valid because at leats ours is real?
May the Flying Spaghetti Monster God say a special prayer for one of my favorite science fiction/fantasy writers, Terry Pratchett!! He announced recently he is ill. His Turtle God is almost as awesome as FSM!
Gringo Gordando Dec 20th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
The FSM church looks every bit as legitimate as LDS (mormans, extra doctorines authored by the polygamist Joseph Smith), Scientology (doctorines authored by L. Ron Hubbard, science fiction writer), Islam (doctorines authored by Mohammad, pedophile, polygamist) and I could go on and on. The point is that everyone needs to believe in something… I believe I´ll have another beer.
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Not to mention the Bible (authored by J. Christ. a man who doesn’t understand that beer is WAY better then wine, and thus makes wine from water instead of some good old grog
“You’re nothing more than a evangelist for idiocy.”
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Sigh….another one who has somehow mistakenly emailed CoFSM instead of the Discovery Institute!
Try googling IDiots Harrison!
Looks like all the comments have been made often enough. Someone was wondering if the hate-mailers ever come to argue their points, some do, but with the time lag due to moderation, it is now impossible to have the same sort of debates as we used, have a look at the RUN!!!!! thread, TLM spent a lot of time here, eventually he gave up, I kinda assumed it was because the pastafarians he insulted directly responded in kind.
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If anyone else would like conversation, there is an outside FSM forum, with a few more of the pre-mod main page regulars, hxxp://fsmdiciples.freeforums.org/index.php you can probably guess what to change.
Uncle Jesse
Dec 21st, 2007 at 8:22 am
You are all going to fry in HELL!!!! My daughter read this and lost her faith (she is 5 years old) and she jumped off the roof of our church wearing one of your T-shirts.
First, why is your daughter surfing the web at 5 years old.
Second, you seriously lack the ability to watch your child if she can climb onto the roof of your church and jump off.
idiot.
Didn’t Random House hire Bobby as an author for a novel? It was nominated for the Quills award…is that called “idiocy”?
Don’t hate, Harrison. Don’t hate.
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Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and a thousand other religions have been doing it for centuries. We’re just trying to get our piece of the pie.
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Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.
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OEJ
Uncle Jesse, what were you doing to completely miss your daughter getting out of your sight and making her way onto the church roof? Great job with the attentive parenting skills.
Anyway, I have been blessed with his noodly appendage. I now believe that I’ve always been en route to his pasta-e-ness due to my love of spaghetti. However, I fear that, when the day comes that the almighty FSM decides to grace us with his visible presence, I might eat him. :(
I meant “by” his noodly appendage. Oh yeah, I love how hate-filled people spew their ignorance and anger upon something that they don’t understand. It makes my day a bit brighter. Quit being so closed minded. Sheesh. Just accept the fact that every religious book speaks the truth because the only facts that prove it true are what’s written in them. Therefore, the Gospel of the FSM IS THE TRUTH!!! Until there’s actual proof that the FSM doesn’t exist (which is total hogwash… I should punch myself for speaking such blaspheme), then these self righteous religion humpers/hypocrites need to get off of their pedestal.
Isn’t “moronic brain excrement” a bit of a mixed metaphor? I could see brain excrement as a valid metaphor, but shit doen’t ever take a Stanford Binet test, so how could it be “moronic”? This is in the same class as “Open the eyes of my heart, Lord”. If your heart doesn’t have eves, do you need a seeing eye heart? Clearly the fundies are no thinking these things through.
Wait a minute! Am I interpreting this right? Is Henderob (Harrison) saying there is a Shit Pasta, along with rotelli, extra wide egg noodles and good ‘ole spaghetti? It’s no wonder he’s mad. Somebody needs to tell him that there is no such thing as Shit Pasta, then maybe he can begin to embrace Him. I mean, circumcision prevented many adult males from becoming Jewish converts, and the mistaken idea of Shit Pasta would scare off potential Pastafarian converts too!
I’m sure we all want to apologize to Harrison, may his plate be filled with (non-shit) Pasta!
@Unde Jesse–maybe your daughter jumped off the roof because of your poor parenting skills, and not because of this trifling of a website. A merry Christmas to you too. [/sarcasm]
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@that one guy who commented here once… –you get a REAL Merry Christmas, because you get it. Thank you for having a sense of humor. May you be touched by his noodly appendage. :-)
(WWFSMD) I think moronic brain excrement might taste better than shit. I am concerned about Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease and would therefore not eat sweetbreads. Henderob, I have a job (well-paying to boot!) and the FSM may be as much the truth as your god however angry he (I assume) may be.
This is the best idea ever!
i definatly think we could have evolved from pirates!
i dont see how you cant under stand it
it makes a little sence
it would be funny to eat your god…
Noodles > Wafers
Gosh, anything I write just can’t compete with all of the beautiful rhetoric here. Harrison is an ass. Where do I send my penny?
You might just have struck a noodley nerve. Keep it up
Ted Monkman
Dear “Uncle Jesse,”
Where have I heard that name before? Hmm.
Sorry - in the interest of truthiness, where exactly did this happen? I’m curious, because a quick Google search turns up exactly nothing. One would think a five-year-old child jumping off the roof of a church wearing a Flying Spaghetti Monster t-shirt would generate considerable news coverage. And I mean CONSIDERABLE. Yet when I Google it, nothing turns up. That is remarkable. I mean, I haven’t done anything newsworthy, but if I Google myself, I get four or five hits right away. Strange. Perhaps you could give us a link or some more details or something. I mean, I’m sure that you are a good Christian person and that you wouldn’t bear false witness…
@Uncle Jesse
I’m sorry about your daughter, if your story is true. There a couple of things I don’t understand though:
1. How is it that adults actually believe in a “hell”?
2. Why children have to be indoctrinated with the “truth,” it seems to me if it were the truth people could come to that conclusion independently.
3. How rolling back the clocks of progress by a couple hundred years will “help our future society.” If something’s difficult to understand, pointing at the sky and saying, “God, you crazy trickster you,” is a shitty way to resolve a problem, and a poor value.
(a couple of minor questions: Where did your daughter get the t-shirt? How did she get on the roof of the church? How exactly is a five year old sophisticated enough to possess or lose faith?)
@Uncle Jesse Dec 21st, 2007 at 8:22 am
“You are all going to fry in HELL!!!! My daughter read this and lost her faith (she is 5 years old)”
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A 5 year old read *this* and lost her faith? What’s *this*? Does she have advanced reading skills?
Most adult fundies have trouble reading and comprehending *this*
So to you Uncle Jesse, I say… Bullshit!!!!
@Uncle Jesse
I doubt the story is true but if it is:
1. Your daughter was extemely smart to learn the truth so young.
2. She found this website and used the internet without you knowing. (Which means you suck as a father and don’t monitor what your child is doing. She would have been a perfect candidate for a whack job predator because you don’t know what she is doing.
3. Found your credit, punched in all the numbers and ordered a shirt without you knowing.
4. She got to the roof of the church. (Again, lacking adult supervision)
So if anyone is going to burn anywhere it would be you for being such a poor excuse for a parent who caused his child’s death for being neglectful.
She must be the smartest 5 year old I ever heard of to jump off a roof to get away from you!
Oh yeah. Merry CHRIFSMAS!
can we have some funnier emails, these are not saucy enough. pasta needs sauce.
gee willickers mister…you sure use foul language.
Newly Coverted said:
“However, I fear that, when the day comes that the almighty FSM decides to grace us with his visible presence, I might eat him. :(”
Fat Tony Replies:
Well, according to I’d Really Rather You Didn’t #5, if you go challenge the ignorant masses right after consuming Him, you’d be following His Word (and probably gain some divine inspiration for that matter). The Great FSM is omniscient anyway, he could make more of His physical body. I wouldn’t be surprised if he let us all partake of his great Appendages when the time for His Coming arrives.
I am very sorry to hear about your daughter. I have to agree with the masses here. (fact or fiction?)
But if you care to buy out the whole damn wharehouse of FSM merch. please, by all means do so!
I’m sure they will cut you a deal on shipping and handling!
All proceeds going towards the new hologram shirt. You can see spaghetti and meatballs then turn and viola! fettucine with alfredo and turkey meatballs! It’s remarkable!
Maybe a sniff and scratch version will be next!
Sorry I’m just a bit frustrated today friends!
Peace!
Something tells me we’re going to see Uncle Jesse in the hate-mail section again (put side-by-side with that one guy’s friend who was expelled from school).
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And no thank you for brain excrement, they give Kuru diseases.
@Uncle Jesse- Are you one of those “creepy uncles”?
@Newly Converted–don’t punch yourself. Our pasta creator is secure enough that he’s okay with a bit of skepticism. He says so in the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts.” And your fellow Pastafarians are okay with some doubt/skepticism too. We won’t ostracize you! All are welcome. (With the possible exception of asses like Harrison and Uncle Jesse.)
Yeah, it seems we will get another lie about a 5 year old jumping off the roof of a church eventually from our dear uncle. Hopefully his noodley appendage will touch uncle over holiday
Peace IPA
Flying /spaghetti/ monster. If you must insult us, at least do so properly.
And include an actual argument.
And read about Bobby Henderson’s qualifications before you say only an idiot would hire him.
And judge not, so you be not judged.
In fact, just go and have a nice long think in the corner. Here, I’ll even give you some metaphorical chalk to flick at metaphorical classmates from under your metaphorical dunce’s cap.
i think harrison has his man period
Maybe the Flying Shit Monster is really the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s invisible evil twin brother who was sent to tempt the world away from Pasta and Pirates?
I know this is completely unrelated, but it was so funny I had to post it here.
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I live in Lynchburg, Virginia, U.S.A, which is an extremely baptist city. I was watching tv earlier, and a commercial for a christian boarding school came on. Now, usually X-ians try to be subtle about their children’s brainwashing, but this commercial came right out and said, “Here, we don’t just teach your children what to think, we teach them how to think.”
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Ok, that’s it for the off-topic posting. I’ll leave for now.
@ Harrison
So exactly the same as people paying to get into heaven in the middle ages then?
Please don’t refer to the monster as shit as I’m also made from Spaghetti and find your comments soooo out off touch. Along with the lepracauns that reside beside me there are numerous other wonderful creatures but don’t know our maker you non believer
TheLaughingMan
Dec 30th, 2006 at 10:41 am
If by first you mean I wrote the comment after I took a shower, got unpacked, helped the rest of my family unpack, called my girlfriend to tell her I was back (unlike you I can actually be with her because she goes to my school), ate dinner, watched my Friday show, then came in to laugh my ass off at you guys turning into cavemen because I wasn’t here (which appears to be true)… then yeah, it was at the top of my to-do list. And thanks for being able to spell Daffodil correctly, I’m sure glad you took the time to commit the spelling of it to heart. If you’re going to give me flower names… I find it only right that I should give you one. How about “Giant Pansy”?
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P.S. My Grandparent’s mansion was pretty nice. It was a pity though that the Pool was too cold for use, even with the heat turned all the way on. I do so love their underwater sound system.
Harrison,
It’s simply satire. Delicious, noodly satire. Just roll with it.
Mmm.
catching up from earlier in the thread….
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@dariox, Dec 20th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
“henderob, you’re an extreme atheist!”
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Huh, the prophet who has enlightened so many to see the light of the worlds fastest growing religion is an atheist? What is your definition of atheist if I may ask?
@Resonator
“I have to pose this question as well, and to anyone who cares to answer:
Is a belief made more true by:
(a)the number of people who believe in it
(b)how long it’s been believed
(c)how much money and property is owned by supporters of the belief
(d)how many books are written in support of the belief
(e)how much money, power and fame is gained by the authors of books in support of the belief
(f)how fanatically the believers believe it
(g)how many disbelievers have been murdered by believers”
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The answer would be different for either a rational thinking or religious mind.
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(a) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(a) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Do you honestly think that all these people would believe the same all over the world if each and every one of them hadn’t all been touched by god?!
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(b) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(b) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Do you honestly think that if it wasn’t true people would still believe it after 2000 years?! Of course it’s true. My parents taught it to me when I was little. And I will teach it to my children. Jesus loves me and I love him! Just as he loves you. If you would only open your heart to him…..
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(c) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(c) from a religious mind (say, a Catholic): of course it’s true! Well, yeah, I know that our church has quite a bit of money. But there are many of us devout believers who generously give to the good cause. Hey! The vatican has given much more money to help Africa [my insert: by teaching people living in AIDS-ridden regions that using condoms is a sin] than you have given from your salary last year! Why must you atheists be so negative!
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(d) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(d) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! You should read C. S. Lewis. It’s so beautiful. It is truly revealing how he expresses christian beliefs, ahhhh.
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(e) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(e) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Don’t you know that Allister McGrath has written a very powerful reply to Dawkins empty shouting in The God Delusion? And people are reading it! His book ‘The Dawkins Delusion’ is currently ranked #173 on Amazon in Luxemburg.
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(f) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(f) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Allah al Akbar you infidel pigdogs!!! Steer a bit lower Atta. Try hitting the tower around the 20th floor. That’s it, that’s it. Now my drove of 72 clumsy, inexperienced, technique-lacking virgins: here I come!!!
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(g) from a rational thinking mind: no of course not.
(g) from a religious mind: of course it’s true! Yes, the crusades had their bloody side, which is unfortunate. But is was in a good cause. Look, I’ve had enough of your negative questions. You want to deny Him? Well that’s your mistake. I’ll pray for your soul that is destined to burn for eternity. Not that I care about atheist trash like you, but I’ll get some extra browny points for it, so that I will get raptured into heaven. I’ve arranged for you to get an email once I’m there. God bless.
@Irish Pastafarian Army
There is a growing Pastafarian presence in Ireland, both north and south of the border. Maybe we should form our own chapter. If you want to meet up with us sometime send me an email at t.p.c.klaver@qub.ac.uk. Same for you Irish_man_made_from_Spaghetti.
“Get a life. I’d say get a job but what idiot would hire you?” - the life and job thing again? Could Harrison and chris from the “you guys are a joke thread” be one and the same?
Today, when I waked up, I found myself being pastafarian :)
Thanks for your initiative and let the year 2008 be with good for you and for people that can’t see behind theirs noses too…
I presume Harrison is addressing Bobby Henderson and calling him “an evangelist for idiocy.” Interesting how the people like Harrison who write this type of letter don’t recognize that they lack a sense of satire, humor, whimsy or piracy. Can’t help but feel sorry that “God” has not blessed them with those qualities, as they make life worth living! I hope for Harrison’s sake that the FSM touches him with His Noodly A. and injects some humor into the man.
It’s just funny how they don’t realise how parallel their beliefs are.
I’m thinking that Pastafarianism lacks a lame mixed metaphor song. The Xtains have “Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord”.
Should we have something like “Clean out the ear wax of my stomach, O Noodly One’?
@ Uncle Jesse. Your daughter sounded like a most precocious young child. To be reading the FSM website and ordering FSM t-shirts with her Amex. Or was it Visa? And then, to elect what the Stoics called the “noble option” when she realized what balderdash the Xtain religion was! And to do it from a church roof! Well done, young lady, well done!
Your daughter was undoubtedly doing this to make certain that none of your genes continued to pollute our pool. Again, Bravo for her, for accepting her Darwin award with such equanimity.
Seriously, Uncle Jesse, I share yours and Cooter’s grief over her passing. I’m sure she would have made a fine scientist and been nothing like you. Who knows if more guys like you had more daughters like her, states like Alabama, Tennessee, North and South Caroline, Virginia and West Virginia, might all turn blue on Anderson Cooper’s presidential election board by 2020 if not sooner.
Here’s hoping. And you say there’s no such thing as evolutionl
Fat Tony and rmw… I’m sorry… I didn’t eat all day when I typed that, so I kinda got screwed over with the memory thing. :)
@Uncle Jesse, how’s her mother Daisy taking the news, how did Bo and Luke feel? I new sooner or later you would pluck that Daisy, you codger you!
This guy sounds more convincing then any of the other people commenting here. The FSM church has just lost one convert.
Blasphhemer!
You, sir, are an idiot.
I’d have to agree..
This poster sounds like they actually have half a brain!
It must be the FSM trying to trick us into not believing!
Our Profit Has loads of money from spreading the words of our Noodly Creator the FSM religion has millions of followers world wide
RAmen
well. It makes a change from the illiterate hate mail I usually see on here. However, I’m not sure what this guy is getting at.
@That was Actually Kinda Funny
You should be embarrassed to admit that Harrison convinced you of anything considering everything he typed lacked any type of intelligence. “This guy sounds more convincing than any of the other people commenting here”? Convinced you of what? That hate-mailers are idiots? That hate-mailers don’t get the point of this whole thing? You must be a very sad individual. If Harrison was able to convince you with his garbage then I am sure you are one of those people that fall victim to email and phone scams.
May His Noodly Appendage have mercy on your grainy soul!
Love it!!
“spewing moronic brain excrement “!!
The problem with your argument is the line “Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass […]deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster”- implying that somebody is doing a bad thing, but condemning them to something awesome?
If anything you have encouraged people to send money to Bob Henderson in the hope we will go to pasta heaven.
Now that the Flying Shit Monster is considered an alternate theory, the schools will need to give it equal time with the Flying Spaghetti Monster, creationism, all other religions and actual science - how will they ever find the time?
I kind of have a job…
.
“Oh my gosh! They believe something other than what I do!! They must be Satan!”
Uncle Jessie’s story proves the superiority of Pastafarianism. No child would be able to throw themselves to their deaths off the roof of one of our churches since His Noodleyness “Rather We Wouldn’t” build them. Looks like FSM cares more about our safety than the supposed christian god does.
Of course I call total BS on his story as well so the point is moot.
@ Uncle Jessie- You will rot in FSM hell with diseased infested hookers and stale beer!
I read the Bible (I’m only 26 years old) and jumped of a brothel wearing one of your ‘I love Jesus’ T-shirts. Consequently I am now dead! I hope you are happy with yourself!
Wile poor innocent pastifarians (and maybe some pizzafarians???) are trying to save the educational standards of future generations, you are destroying it.
The poor non-ID supporting members of the Kansas school board face a lot of resistance and scrutiny to teaching good science to benefit the future of humanity. Those intelligent people are in grave danger because of hatful evangelical types.
In other words, you are almost as bad as Moses!
Merry Easter!
@That was Actually kinda funny Dec 28th, 2007 at 4:27 am
“This guy sounds more convincing then any of the other people commenting here.”
.
Gullible much?
.
“The FSM church has just lost one convert.”
.
And gained 20….
RAmen
heres the thing you have to understand about pastfarianism: its not as much about the actual religion as it is about the point it makes, how if you acknowledge one intelligent design theory as correct, its only fair to acknowledge them all.
Well he DOES have that physics degree
Flying Shit Monster? You have No imagination >:-(
if you’re going to insult someone’s god, you could be respectful, His name is the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Whew! That guy is a genius!
as with most idiots you are clearly confused, you say:
“spewing moronic brain excrement”
this is interesting as most inbred zelots tend to be impressively anal in their outlook whereas you seem to be unfamiliar with the most rudimentary bodily functions.
surely even one with such a low forhead as your good self would recognise you either
a) spew moronic brain vomit - or
b) defacate moronic brain excrement
or maybe the ‘intelligent designer’ was having an off day when he hooked you up
idiot
Flying shit monster! That’s a brilliant turn of phrase. I like how people often add a “flying” before expletives, as in, “I don’t give a flying fuck.” You sir are a gifted writer
You are an idiot. You’re nothing more than a evangelist for idiocy. Anyone who sends you a penny for sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world deserves to spend eternity with you and your flying shit monster. Get a life. I’d say get a job but what idiot would hire you?
-Harrison
Dear God,
The anger that flows through me is unbearable…
what? why God?
i don’t know:
anyway…
Actually the FSM and Pastafarianism is a brilliant piece of work…even if one doesn’t accept it as a religion one should take it for what it’s worth: an idea that keeps Idiocy and Blind Faith out of the world, starting in public schools…
Apparently Good ol’ Mister Henderson does have SOME sort of life if he can create such a simple but (what word to describe) Great idea…
Harrison im not a violant person why do you care in what we belive? and i have a life probebly more so then you because i dont sit on a computer all day bad mouthing people of differant belifs
Im confused… there are evangelics who don’t preach idiocy?
Hear, hear, Sheldon! RAmen!
wow! what a brilliant description of preists.
’sitting on your dumb ass and spewing moronic brain excrement into the world ‘