[i think this is fake.. but who knows]
Are you guys fucken retarded? Fucken trying to fuck every religion up? Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages you ass wipe! Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!
-Sincerely Aaron V.
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
no ur retarded
“Are you guys fucken retarded? Fucken trying to fuck every religion up? Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages you ass wipe!”
.
That’s a bit inappropriate to ask of a stranger, isn’t it? If I remember correctly, Bobby once mentioned his girlfriend, so I guess Aaron is likely to be disappointed by Bobby’s response.
I didn’t think fundies were into sucking appendages? Oh well, good for them.
And I am sure your church is a better place with you in attendance. I suspect your religion will be fucked up fine on its own without assistance from any FSM followers.
“Are you guys fucken retarded?”
I am not mentally retarded, no.
“Fucken trying to fuck every religion up?”
Well I am. Yes.
“Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages you ass wipe!”
Sorry, your noodly ‘appengages’ are too microscopic and sucking them would be near impossible. Nice Ad Hominem attack anyway.
“Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!”
Good for you, I couldn’t care less if you went to a giant money grabbing building that you learn lies from.
Now that’s not very Christian of you is it, you can’t even swear properly! Remember, this is going to be read by a few hundred Pastafarians, so you’re lucky that we’re peaceful, if we had said all of that to you (and we could) you’d call the police wouldn’t you?
Well Aaron V
What can I say? I don’t give a stuff whether you go to church or not…you’re not that important in the scheme of things.
Anyway Merry CriFSMas to you too.
May you be blessed with the touch of His Noodly Appendage.
RAmen
Are you retarded? This is freedom of religion. People can believe whatever they want. I am sorry but this is more likely then Christianity. Lets think about something that does not seem like an excuse for cheating on your husband. god impregnated me? Nah, no way thats an excuse. we also do not ask for you to give us money like Christians. I do not believe in your religion but i do not discriminated you for it. People like you do not deserve to live. You are a shallow, ignorant, asshole. We are not forcing you to convert to are religion, we are not trying to destroy every other religion, we are just trying to give people a new perspective on what life could be. This website is an online church for believers so how would you take action if i walked into your church and started criticizing your beliefs and started harassing your fellow Christians?
Aaron V,
noone gives a real crap if you want to waste your life on your knees to an imaginary sky-daddy. but we’d much prefer if you opened your eyes to reason and stopped deluding yoruself. your choice.
Me thinks Aaron needs to go to church more often. Perhaps to confession. Where he admits to the priest that he cursed, and had impure thoughts. He will be forgiven, of course. So that he can go out…and sin some more.
I think it’s fake. But either way, it’s funny he writes “Sincerely Aaron V.” after all the verbal abuse ;-)
I am horrified at these comments. To think that such outrageous and blatant racism still exists to this day.
I’m sorry you feel this way, maybe you should seek help.
as for our religion, maybe you should compare its history with that of your own religion.
so far there have been precisely zero violent religious incidents (or fucken up other religions if you will) performed by out members. don’t make me start referring to the bible…
-Sincerely spiderwebby.
“Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!” No but a good education might. Why so angrey Aaron? Anyone would think you were threatened by our ideas?
……………
its really comments like these that make me lose faith in the human race
im seeing either some 25 year old drunken wife beater in his klan robes with a beer and a box of twinkies
furiously pounding his pudgy fingers on his keyboard, and thinking his post was very clever, he kisses and nearly chokes on his cross, closes his email, and returns to his innumerable pornsites
oh, btw i am not mentally retarded and i dont give ******-******* ******* piece of donkey ****
if you go to church and say amen while the pastor checks not only your wife, but your 6 year old son
sorry if that was harsh but i havent had my coffee yet, and such stupidity annoys me in the morining….
fsm i hate mornings
-RAmen
“Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!”
.
And when you go to church I hope you ask your God for forgiveness for committing the sins of pride and anger.
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Confession Booths
“Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages”
No, I dont take pasta from strangers
Yes we are “fucken” retarded!
Seriously, what did you expect us to say?
By the way, ‘fucken’ is not that much easier to type than the proper word, considering ‘I’ is just above ‘K’, and ‘G’ is up and to the left of ‘N’, whereas ‘E’ is on the opposite side of the keyboard, Seriously if you are spending the time writing this stuff, put a little effort, hey, I think that’s part of your Bible (you know, that big book with the contradictions).
Also, we are not trying to stop you from going to church, but you are being hypocritical by trying to stop us worshipping our great deity, His Noodlyness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
And seriously, you didn’t have to look at this “dip shit ass site” if you didn’t want to, see that little cross up in the corner, (I think it is a red circle if using a Mac) click it, and watch this “dip shit ass site” magically disappear!!! MAGIC!!!
By the way, Noodly AppendageS ? Plural? You have multiples? Or just can’t count? Looking at your spelling, complexity of your writing, and grammar, I’m heading towards the second.
And St John the Blasphemist makes a damn good point, Cardinal Sins, Tut Tut Tut.
Ramen
To Aaron V,
Are all members of your church as articulate and as able to put together such a well structured argument against FSM as you have just done? I must say such insight has made me re-think a lot of my own philosophy.
.
Although I am still remain a devotee of Pastafarian I have to applaud such wisdom and philosophical observation.
.
I remain your most humble servant.
Davros
.
RAmen
Are all members of your church as articulate and as able to put together such a well structured argument against FSM as you have just done? I must say such insight has made me re-think a lot of my own philosophy.
.
Although I am still remain a devotee of Pastafarian I have to applaud such wisdom and philosophical observation.
.
I remain your most humble servant.
Davros
.
Ramen
Out hyar in Injun Fightin Country - good ol Cowlorado - this hyar kind o’ nut-case jest goes out and gets his self a bunch o’ guns an ammernishun an kills people. Fer religus reasons, acorse. Ony in thet thar killin feller’s case, twas cause HIS religun done throwed him outen tha trainin fer abein a Mishunary.
Leastways, tha letter writer hyar says he’s agoin ta his own church; an FSM ain’t agonna stop him. Reckon as ifn, maybe, tha folks thar oughten ta be sorta warned? Shore nuff sounds like it ta me airyways. Never can figger out jest what one o’ them thar funnymentalcases air agonna do iffen he ever sobers up. Can one?
i’m pretty sure someone just wanted some interesting hate mail to make fun of. i don’t think any one is dumb enough to spell fuckin’ as “fucken”
Aaron - I’m sorry that you are offended by our beliefs. We’re only trying to find comfort and solace in our own religion - faith in our spaghedeity. Life is hard, Aaron, but its a lot harder if you’re stupid.
QUOTE from Dr Dagger: Now that’s not very Christian of you is it, you can’t even swear properly! Remember, this is going to be read by a few hundred Pastafarians, so you’re lucky that we’re peaceful, if we had said all of that to you (and we could) you’d call the police wouldn’t you? QUOTE
Or go out and start the next bloody crusade, lol
Sorry, that’s “it’s”. Post-awakening spark knock.
Wow, this one sounds like a real winner.
Well gee, Rob M, I guess you’ve never taken a good look at the hatemail section of this site. If you had, you’d see that we simply mock those that are a ‘dip shit ass’ (as Aaron V. would say) to us. We want science to be taught as science WITHOUT religious dogma taught in the science classroom. You can go back to your hidey hole and be a closed off to reality dickhead, but we would like to keep our mind open. How would you feel if we went to religious websites and posted the things that these ‘christians’ call us? Before you post something stupid, make a well informed decision first. Oh wait, you xians don’t because you follow strict religious dogma that forbids you to think for yourselves.
~
Kiss my ass, Mariner
~
~
Still tired a bit right now so I apologize to any Pastafarian who might have been offended.
Well if this type of communication is the best you can offer then I don’t think we are missing much not having you. I suggest you take some of that tithe you give to the church and buy yourself an education. I don’t know what sad set of circumstances left you both in inarticulate and brain-washed, but ignorance is not bliss. Why don’t you spend a little more time reading a book, other than the bible (which based on your post I seriously doubt you have ever actually read). It supprise you but you were given a brain for a reason so try using it (in accordance with your religion it would be because God gave it to you).
Until you can tell me why you believe in your religion with out quoting me dogma (get a dictionary and look it up), I don’t have much else to say.
I think this is also a joke e-mail. But why oh why people get so worked up over one website is beyond me. These are the type of people who receive 3 creams in their coffee instead of 2 and then proceed to throw the coffee at the worker who sold it to him.
Such anger in the world. May the noodly appendage reach his heart.
I wonder where this person lives.
… and whether he really signed with “sincerely.”
“Are you guys retarded?” Well, if this hate mailer doesn’t know what a rethorical question is, his intuition tells him how to use it, unless he really expects somebody to answer: “Yes, I’m retarded, is it that obvious?”. I don’t reckon him thinking of people protesting against the suppostion of them being retards, that option being to boring…
Has anyone got enough energy to look if the archives contain a mail beginning with “May I ask a question?”?
Oh, and what’s a “fucken”? A chicken busy propagating?
Let me know when God speaks to you in church, ok? Thanks :)
One day a man was called retarted and he was shunned by those who would do sins against the father. One day the man quacked like a duck then the others understood in thier hearts that they must dress as pirates and spread the word. Someday may your heart be touched by the noodles and fear will leave you. Go and call no one retarted any more.
Aaron,
Another post proving the hate mailers can not read and choose to be cafeteria xians! Cursing and casting dispersions. Isn’t that against your religion? As usual picking the pieces of your so called religion you choose to follow. Hey, Religion is personal and if you want to follow it, by all means do so. No one here is saying not to. However, if you choose to follow it, live it and not pretend to be a xian. A true believer in your religion would never have written such a despicable email in the first place.
Again, click on “about” so you can turn your ignorance into something resembling knowledge.
RAmen!!
Woah woah woah there: “Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages you ass wipe!”
That was severly uncalled for, we’re not your priests here.
Dear Aaron,
“Are you guys fucken retarded?”
No. Not usually. Anyway, you need a brain to intelligently combat ID. I can tell by the amount of swearing you show, (it’s fucking, by the way) you obviously lack something there.
“Fucken trying to fuck every religion up?”
Well, if we get the time.
“Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages you ass wipe!”
You mean you have more than one?
“Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!”
Well, I apologise for being part of something you so obviously detest, but let’s hope that next time in your “church” you can repent for the sins shown here.
I really wish that these people would read the comments left by us.
“Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!”
.
>I’m sure nothing can keep you away from church Aaron, only those priests know how to please another pious man the way you like to be pleased right?
Thats why you like to use phrases like “shit ass” and “suck MY noodely appendage.”
So yes Aaron go back to church and stop trolling for it here, this is not a gay bar.
Certainly not this planet
This mail is all wrong. Real hate mailers don’t call us retarded, they call us retarted, though I’m not sure where we were first tarted, perhaps it’s some obscure religious reference their preacher came up with.
Ha! Same old, same old.
If I had doubts about being a Pastafarian before,
these letters are very assuring in telling me that I chose the right religeon.
“What? There is a religeon that doesn’t promote holocausts and witch-hunts?
How can that be?!”
was the response one guy gave when the Korean fsm site first opened. ;)
“Are you guys fucken retarded?”
.
I’m a little ditzy, but no, I am not retarded.
.
“Fucken trying to fuck every religion up?”
.
I thought no one would notice! Thank you for recognizing my goal in life ^.^
.
“Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages you ass wipe!”
.
Well, first of all, you’re going about that wrong. To get someone to give you head, you have to be NICE. Also, I’m taken so no oral for you. *points and laughs*
.
“Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!”
.
Ooook. I could care less what you do. You could wear a tutu and a sombrero and dance around like a monkey. I probably wouldn’t care.
“-Sincerely Aaron V.”
.
Sincerely? That’s a little nice…
Gotta have some grist for the mill.
This Aaron is another stupid who believes in superstition and all the bullshit of Religions.
The monster God saves the Pastafarian. The only true religion.
Such Hate but for what reason?
Regardless I hope you can find solace.
Pasta be with you.
Dear Aaron,
This site certainly doesn’t prevent you from going to church. However, it also doesn’t claim that it will. Neither does it help your personal cause or religion very much by posting hateful messages, unless you think that your religion is all about spreading hate.
Peace man, share the love, and the spread the word.
Just saw a couple of stories on MSNBC. In one story, a guy saw the likeness of Jesus in the markings of his chest x-ray. (I wont even make a snide remark here, about what I hope it really is.)
In the other story, some guy found the likeness of Jesus in a metteorite.
We see these kind of stories all the time in the popular media, from people seeing the image of mother teresa or the Virgin Mary in a pastry, to people seeing Jesus in the markings on a tree.
Question: Since no photographic likenesses or even paining or sculptures exist of the historical Jesus and Mary, how can these people be sure these likenesses bear any resemblance to the object of their adoration. Answer: they can’t. In addition to being an illusion, it’s an illusion of an illusion. It is saying some random markings bear some passing resemblance to some popular iconic image of thier cult leader. Talk about a waste of media time and money.
I will not even adress this guy.
@ storm petrel -They even capitalize too! Wow. Aaron with an “A”. They are a retarted hatemailer.
This is pastaphemy!
retarded? This seems to imply that at some point in time we were tarded. I am not entirely sure what being tarded is but perhaps being retarded is like being reborn…or is this perhaps a reference to the reemergence of the FSM. Now I am also confused by Fucken….this sounds like some sort of feathered bird…probably from the early tortillian period in what is now called Uganda.
What I implore you to ask yourself friend is are you Fucken Retarded and if so can’t we be a big fucken retarded family? A big family of reborn Tortillian Ugandans.
@storm petrel
“I’m not sure where we were first tarted, perhaps it’s some obscure religious reference their preacher came up with.”
– Tarted, as in getting all tarted up in pirate regalia. (Think Cap’n Jack Sparrow, compleat with eyeliner, arrgh.)
– Ergo, re-tarted means repeating the above. Perhaps, then, re-tarded is when it takes so long to put on the full pirate regalia (almost as long as putting on the ‘full armor of Christ’) that you wind up being tardy for the event.
– Then again, Aaron and his ilk may just be randomly slinging around insult words and then giggling together at using poopy talk.
it seems it may be a prank, but why would any xtian feel we are trying to keep them from attending church where they suck the appendage of their pastor? are we getting closer to discovering why the xtians feel they are being oppressed? to them oppression means “not being allowed to control the culture.”
“Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages you ass wipe!”
Notice the plural form, there.
.
Also; go to church if you’d like. Believe what you want. We’re not trying to convert you.
Read the whole site and understand it, if you’re going to send an h-mail.
I think “fucken” sums this letter up nicely. Whether it’s real or not, the writer has a lot of nerve calling us retarded.
a noodle appendix? that sounds delicious! I’ll have one. mmmmmm….I bet it tastes like chicken. I wonder if jesus liked chicken? I bet he liked steak better. Steak taste good. Rib eye steak is my favorite. I bet he liked a nice thick porterhouse steak. Yep. If I was jesus, I would prefer a porterhouse too. mmmmmm. I’m hungry. What was the question again?
Just a thought……why must all these people (even if this is fake, still just a queerie) insult the mentally handicapped and homosexuals all the time…one day they’ll be soooooorrry.
Heh. He said “appendages”. Lucky bastard.
Ron Jeremy is now envious.
“This mail is all wrong. Real hate mailers don’t call us retarded, they call us retarted, though I’m not sure where we were first tarted, perhaps it’s some obscure religious reference their preacher came up with.”
Good one Storm. I am finding this a bit dubious, unless there are really people like that.
“Vindhyan Bob said:
I wonder where this person lives.”
Next door to me, I think. I DO live in Colorado. In the mountains. And we all have guns.
NoodleNick says we’re peaceful. We are? Peaceful pirates? Is this a Disney movie? ARRH!
sugned,
A polytarted, woods-livin’ noodle-worshiper
Momi Pink Shoes: “I could care less what you do. You could wear a tutu and a sombrero and dance around like a monkey.”
.
You didn’t mean that as a derogatory remark, I hope. Cause sometimes on the weekends, after long hours of assembling my IKEA furniture, I celebrate my creations in just such a fashion. I’d hate to think I was weird.
*giggle* these people just don’t understand the truth behind their religion, God was your father, Jesus was a hippie, and Moses was a drug addict, so what? Why ruin this religion with yours for no reason…
Sincerely,
Bite me you Hypocritical son of a
female dog.
neal Dec 17th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
“In addition to being an illusion, it’s an illusion of an illusion.”
.
Wouldn’t that be a delusion of a delusion of a delusion? How do they manage to keep from falling over all the time from all that mental dizziness?
@Lazlow - I think that is rather noble of you.
@Mongo - That confused me…but I laughed.
I am actually extremely retarded. I don’t even know what a church is. It is only after years of practice and by concentrating intently that I am able to construct the most rudimentary of ideas. I certainly am not able to convey a complex idea by any means.
[I think Christianity is fake, but who knows?]
I lol at you and your inability to cuss. LOL!
HUKED on FONIKS Werked fur ME!
Dude. Your reaction is why so many people are so bitter towards religion.
AND PEOPLE. PLEASE. Calling all religions vile and horrible and poisonous is a childish and hurtful generalization. Grow up. Educate yourselves; many religious people are very good people who follow their religion’s moral code and do what they can to better the lives of those they encounter. It’s the judgmental assholes, like that guy up there, that reinforce the stereotype that all religious people are overzealous lunatics.
It’s not your job to preach, man. Take a look in your own Bible. Jesus said that if a person didn’t want to hear the message he had to give, just shake the dust from your shoes and walk away. If you’re happy, great. If not, don’t take it out on total strangers. Learn to be happy without having to bash others first.
Yar,
I jes warnted ter thank ye fer dis site. Me been lost in de world, and tryin’ ter find me way for sum time. Thar Pastafarian belief system be the first that made sense ter me. Seems dis bee what me believe for all, den find this site I did, and felt this bees an omen from the FSM itself.
I genly thin’ that there FSM did save me from me-serf. I been livin’ a lire ’til dis very day, an me thinks that yer site may have rescurred me from a pale and savage life. Me been a pirate since the day me been fallen from me mother, an today me learnt de impertance of ‘tall.
Since day he been eaten for me sins, the FSM deed save us el from a world with VD strippers and stale grog. May yer grog never be stale, yer stripper poles never squeek.
The tide is risin’, we must band tergether me band of merry men and curvy wenches, and save the world from dar Global Warmin’.
In it’s name we prey.
RAmen
@Lazlow
Sounds fun. I’m going to start doing that every time I achieve something.
.
@Nikkiee
An illusion of a deslusion of an illusional delusion of a delusional illusion of a :-:head asplode:-:
Your religion ruins itself with all of its contradictions. Why do you think we would be trying to ruin your religion when it already has as many holes as a very porous meatball?
LOL, seriously your asking if we are retarded? you silly lil’brainwashed simpleton. Last night i had a divine vision i saw the sun rising in the morning and no more evil Christians forcing their hate upon the world .It was such a nice feeling.Sad isn’t it? inFSM we pray,Ramen!
Well, this one connfffuuusseeed me…. ok, if he is Christan, why is he swearing so much? nice language?
the reason i converted is cause u have to actually spend time in church and shit..
ahhhhahahahahaha swishhhhhhhhhh, were trying to stop you going to church mate. were not actually trying to make any one do ANYTHING. RAmen
Aaah, always good to read that the christian god = love
NOT! :D
I am not goen to be sucken anyones noodley appendage. If the FSM is a botheren you why are you a botheren to be looken at the web-site. I guess for anyone to believe somethin other than the big J is amaken you be ascared or somethin. I is a hopen you are haven a happy holiday.
by all means, please going to your chirch, its really working out for you.
Awe I’m feelin the love!
Peace be unto you as well my son!
awe we love you to.
It’s great to know that peace, love, and understanding are values treasured by christians
…..you kiss yer mama with that mouth?
He doesn’t actually “kiss” his mama.
But he’s close to her.
@The Old Jew- I get the feeling he does more than kiss his mama.
I believe it’s spelt ‘fucking’ *innocent smile*
Wow! Someone has his noodle in quite the twist.
With anger like that~you KNOW that it is limp~and angel hair-like. . .
did he just say his dangler was the size of a noodle?
Not only is it the size of a noodle, but reading his post again, I discover that he claims to have more than one noodly appendage. That’s got to be a bit confusing. So, Jinxie, he quite literally MIGHT have his noodles in a twist. We should pity him.
Well I take it that demonstrates the quality of his education if he can’t even spell his swear words and well the grammar was sadly I suppose he couldn’t find the red hot shemales that so excite him
@Marz- I think he did! Must be why he’s so angry.
“fucken retarded”
“fuck every religion”
“suck MY noodely appendages”
“ass wipe!”
“dip shit ass”
They must be teachen sum reel good Christian loven at that there church you be goen to. You should probably think about spending some time in English class.
Hmm…somebody really does need to go to church.
Somebody also missed the piece of scripture that said you are to stop cursing when you become a Christian….
Hypochristian are we?
@The Old Jew Dec 23rd, 2007 at 2:48 am
“…..you kiss yer mama with that mouth?”
.
And prays to Jesus with same?
.
*Imagines Aaron V praying*: “Yo Jesus….hey u my fucken homie Jesus…smite these mother fuckers bro…methinks dey bin dissing u bro…revenge…hate hate hate…..”
Who wouldn’t want to be a loving peaceful xtian like Aaron?
@Marz:
Not only that, but he used the plural form.
HE is the FSM sent to test us.
I think this guy was the unfortunate recipient of that special church service that some priests are known for. And yes, I think we all hope that this guy never goes to church again. He gets it.
- RAmen
I thought ‘Jesus’ and ‘God’ didn’t like bad laungauge. And didn’t he tell you to respect others? Gosh, you’re merely just jealous.
We just want to be taken seriously. You have misinterpreted the gospel as a threat and a way to make yourself seem like a brave nonconformist.
He’s just angry because are god has bigger balls than his god.
@Futhark…Hear! Hear!
ahh… a good ol’ friendly “Christian” response
when did we try to stop aaron going to church?
Does anybody realize that this is all satire?
Also, whoever wrote this does NOT speak for all of us Christians. I’m a proud believer, and I’m honestly not bothered- but quite amused- by a good parody. However, I think anybody who in all seriousness adopts Pastafarianism as their real religion is a bit off their rocker.
And Aaron; It’s cool that you’re not going to stop going to church, but what church did you learn that it’s a good thing to repeatedly swear at “Pastafarians”, much less anyone at all. Please just calm down.
God loves “Pastafarians” too.
Did they ever try to stop you going to church? did they form a human barricade and punched you to make sure you couldn’t get in?
Did they break into your house and burn your bibles or something?
No. so whats the big problem??
Hah. Just noticed you finished with ”Sincerely Aaron V”
Pfft. Charming lad.
A kind loving Christian THAT is new.
Well maybe, havent read every post (yet)
I am wondering WHY DOES EVERY CHRISTIAN HAVE TO HATE US? It’s our freakin religion and I don’t go to every christian site and say WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING RETARTED!!!!!! NO. If your a christian or jewish dosen’t the bible teach of acceptence to everyone! So acept us because our religion has the same values and is as real as christianity jewdism islam and budism so GET USED TO IT!!!!
It wasn’t intended to. Sincerely Yours-
The fanastic part of Aaron V.’s reply is that if he himself is TRULY FAITHFUL to his RELIGION….why is he CURSING & SWEARING at the Spaghetti people?????????
trogdor was a man
wow….
that’s quite colorful language for a CHRISTIAN to use.
did they teach you that in church??
and if you dont lke the thoughts of our religion what are you doing on the site??
WRRRRRRRAAAAARRRRR I am the spegetti mopnsters meat balls. Swrew you guys. Suck my balls.
We don’t want to stop you going to Church; by all means, go. But please, we Pastafarians take religious criticism in a very offensive manner. So worship your own God if you must, but please respect our’s, and our beliefs. You would not like us to bash your “Lord” - so, in turn, I urge to refrain from doing the same to the Great Creator, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
To all those (poster and respondents) who used naughty words in this string:
Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Please, let’s try to keep things at least moderately civil. I’m sure no one wants this site to descend to the base level of a political debate. I’m quite sure most of us are clever enough to put together a really juicy insult without violating the language policy of even the strictest cloister.
Oh, I almost forgot. More evidence of the linguistics/xianity disconnect.
@Travis
I think anybody who in all seriousness adopts Pastafarianism as their real religion is a bit off their rocker.
I like the quote (maybe not so much a quote as a paraphrase):
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one less God than you. When you explain why you deny everyone elses God then you will have the reason why I deny yours.”
Or something not very close to that…
I would say we are most definitely not “fucken [sic] retarded”.
While some of us may actually be medically retarded - I know not the IQ of every Pastafarianist, nor if they’ve had extensive brain damage - none of us are “fucken” retarted, and actually most of us know how to spell, or at least how to use spell check.
“Fucken [sic] trying to fuck every religion up?”
I don’t believe that we’ve ever tried to fuck *any* religion up, or if we have and I haven’t heard about it - we certainly haven’t caused nearly as much trouble and pain that the Inquisitors did, or the Crusaders.
“Why don’t you suck my noodely [sic] appendages you ass wipe!”
Well that’s real mature. Will you then Do Unto Others, good sir? I think not (however, I could be wrong.) Me mum always told me that when somebody resorts to vulgarity, it means that s/he’s run out of witty things to say, and thus is not very intelligent.
“Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!”
By this point, I’m glad that you’re going to keep to your own religion - it would pain me to see someone who really has no intelligent, sophisticated way of proposing his/her thoughts as a member of FSM.
Also, I don’t recall ever saying that we were going to forcibly try and keep you from going to church - any absence from your place of worship will be through your actions, and yours alone. We will, however, present our beliefs, and if you don’t like it, then you may leave our website and never return, or you may actually attempt to dissuade us from our religion by giving us a compelling argument.
Furthermore, if you had bothered to research FSM, you would have noted that it was originally created to make a case for why Intelligent Design (ID) should not be taught in science, or if it should, all other forms of ID should be as well.
RAmen,
Loney
Aaron V ? dont tell me there are another 4 of you out there - are you a clone? or perhaps clown? either way keep up the good work,
yours,
Satan,
1 Rue les pokers chauds rouges
Hades.
no its not but your swearing is gunna send you 2 hell lol
Dear SincerelyAaronV,
I know it won’t change anything, but:
does your religion allow you to talk like that to people???
or judge others?
why are you getting upset and all?
Live and let live, right?
Relax and enjoy the ride,
Lou
I have great news for you, nuestro dios tu creador el FSM te ama, tan grande es su amor que te perdona incluyendo tu pésimo vocabulario.
Aaron V we do not punish others for not beliving in our religion incase you didnt notice and i notice your god condems us peaceful people who intend no ill fate to hell?i do not understand why you ar e so cruel and why you have to go to the internet to get a headjob it is now clear to me that you must no have many friends…
Good day to you Aaron,
How is the weather in the southeast today? Intolerant as usual?
I think this is a great comment. —Yes! I AM retarded!
Now that that is determined I have only one question: Do you enjoy your imagination, or do you use it as a bludgeon to beat your fellows with?
Its really the only question I can scratch my head and think of in my “retarded mind!”
Personally, really, it doesn’t matter if there is one god or many gods, but it does matter if the imagination is laughing and playful, like a brilliant shot of sunlight and tomato sauce on a noodly spring day! But perhaps you do not like to play, or maybe you were never taught to play, and that makes me a little sad, and I am sorry Aaron.
hope you feel better,
Justin
Will a 300 foot wall of ice stop you from going to church Aaron? Cause that’s whats comming if we don’t stop listening to christian naysayers, and start fighting global warming. Stop waisting time in church, forget about Jesus, and start thinking of ways to prevent the comming “armageddon”.
I got one — become a pirate. Ahrr, motherfucker!
R’Amen
To Quote it in its entirety:
Are you guys fucken retarded? Fucken trying to fuck every religion up? Why don’t you suck MY noodely appendages you ass wipe! Your dip shit ass site isn’t going to keep me from going to church!
-Sincerely Aaron V.
Though art more temperate than any Christian who eats through their ass I know of. If you didn’t put food up there then I couldn’t even try to explain why all the feces is coming out.
My apologies