flying spaghetti monster? Are you kidding me? I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible. Try reading the book of Job. There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.
-erin
Connect
Contribute
The Church of the FSM is always looking for content. Details here
Support the Cause
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
Send Holiday Propaganda e-Cards
FSM Poster Shop
Purchase the Gospel
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Purchase from Amazon.com
Give
Propaganda Buttons
Add these buttons to your site:
Me
Bobby's Blog
Contact Bobby: Contact Me
Support the Arts:
Miscellaneous
“I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible” WTF? 1) There are many documents that date way before the bible.
2) Bible accurate? The fact that no original biblical documents remain instantly discredits it. Even our profit is still alive. You can’t argue with that.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
JAJAJA
someone wrote first what i was going to say, the bible has been traslated so many times. And for so unclear people.
My FSM
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Dinosaurs? This dude needs to re-read his Bible. There is no reference to dinosaurs in it, that’s a reference to an elephant. This dude would do a better job defending the Bible and God if he could discuss it intelligently rather than quote foolish statements made by moronic, poorly educated, self-declared, unstudied pastors grasping at straws trying to resolve scientific truths with biblical ones our of fear of losing his flock.
BTW – For all you Flying Spagetti Monster goobs: My god is real, yours is just a meal. His noodly appendage is making its way past my God’s appendix. Yum! Yum!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There must be another neal on this board, the last post beginning with “Dinosauars?” is not mine.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I don’t know who posted the last thing on this thread with the name “Neal” that begins “Dinasaurs”. I know I would never call Pastafarians “goobs”. If someone has the same name as me please use a different handle to distinguish yourself from me. I know it’s only a blog, but it does piss me off when people think I am saying it and it’s someone else who has appropriated my identity.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It kills me how Xtains take the posture they are being persecuted in our culture. I seem to recall a few years back, it was the Falwells, O’Reilly’s, the Robertsons, and the Dobson’s who declared a “culture war” on people who were just living their lives-albeit with lifestyles markedly different from those mandated by traditional Xtain morals, beliefs and mores.
But, then again, it’s supposed to be a free country. The counter move to that has been to engage in vituperation of the practtioners of these emergent lifestyles. When the attacked non christian strikes back, he’s painted as persecuting christians when it’s really just self defense in the marketplace of ideas.
Flash to Xtains, the constitution, the bill of right, and American culture in no way grants you “the right to prevail”. Other religions have vanished from the face of the earth (eg. the Cult of Isis, or, more recently, the Shakers). There is no law that says we have to treat you as an endangered species if more and more people find you bullshit and your bullshit tactics and antics less and less credible and tolerable. That’s not persecution. That’s evolution in action.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Wow, who would have thought that reading a football website would lead me to link that would change my life. Well done, people. Your community is great.
@Dutch Pasta Guy. Conservapedia makes me sad. I didn’t know it existed until your post, but the articles on Kangaroos made me very, very sad with the direction the world is taking. But to counterbalance that nonsense, there’s the Church of the FSM. Go rational thought!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Neal-your God is real? Finally, someone who has seen a God!! What was he like Neal? Was he old looking with a beard? Did he look like Magic Johnson, or was it Alanis Morrisette? Answer back Neal I want to know what He/She was like, because you must have seen Him/Her to claim that it’s real. What is the meaning of life Neal? You must know since you have spoken with a god. Get back to us we are all eagerly awaiting your reply.-Judas Iscariot
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Why do people insist on quoting a book as evidence of the ultimate truth? It’s a book for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, there is very little in it that hadn’t been written in a different form prior to it; Gilgamesh anyone? How can you get more accurate than the writings of the Persian book-keepers who listed everything under the sun from sheep to grains of wheat? Don’t any of you bible thumpers ever read anything else?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
well, the other 5/6 of the world think your god is pure imagination and they also think ours is a meal. The main different is that a meal exists in the real (or material) world.
.
a god is something that exists and has a lot of power(depending on the god, offcourse).
.
Now consider this: your god is considered existent and powerful by about a six of world population and nonexistent and not powerful by the rest
.
our “meal” is considered existent and powerful by some and just existing by the rest. atleast one quiteria is fulfilled by the whole population. there were one six of the population who fulfilled both quiteria for christianity giving it a validy value of 2*1/6=1/3. FSMism is fulfilling one quiteria for the whole population giving it a validy value of 1*6/6=1
.
futher it could be noticed that there are no religion substansially bigger than christianity.
therefore FSMism is 200% more valid than any other religion on the earth
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well, I do not see these people criticizing ur religion anywhere on this site.
And who says u need a book or written documents to believe in something.
For all u kno the person who had the vision about god and all that other stuff,
could have faked it. RIGHT??? And did u kno that each time there was a new King
in England the Bible was changed to suit his believes. I bet u didn’t.
Now I suggest you stop disrespecting what they believe in [if they believe in it]
cuz they’re not dissing urs.
good-bye. =]
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The only way you could EVER use the word “bible” and “accurate” in the same sentence is if the word “isn’t” is in between them. Maybe you should stop dissing our religion ok. Just because our religion here is based on a flying noodly deity doesn’t mean that you should mock us.
.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Job? Job? JOB IS YOUR SALES PITCH? Let me summarize Job: One day someone said, “Dear God, I’d like to mess with humanity.” And God replied, “Yes, please. Take this man Job. He’s been nothing but good, faithful, and loyal.” So Job has EVERYTHING taken from him. He’s covered in sores, he loses his land and livestock, his entire family DIES. And yes, God gives everything back times two for being faithful. But don’t you think he’d want his children back? His wives (yes, multiple) back? His first life back? Seems to me that this is not a book you’d want to use in order to convert people.
Moreover, the Bible is a historical text. It is the history of a people. I just don’t buy it that Solomon had 700 wives, 300 concubines, and all the prostitutes he could handle and still had time for breakfast. Sorry. When you read the bible, you are reading a historical epic. And when you’re the most kicked around group of people in the fertile crescent, there’s nothing you want more than to have a story that’s BIG. So Erin, were I you, I would revise my selling points. That’s all.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well don to harry Dec 3rd, 2007 at 12:44 am, I haven’t seen “dickweed” used since Bevis and Butt-head.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I ate noodles today, cold, without sauce and now i have telescoptic optical lenses. ra-men.
erin is a wrong person who needs to read a non-bible book or stop doing the alive thing.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There is a book and its called “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.” Besides if I brought up a holy book that was before the torrah or bible would that make your religion less credible and you would have to convert? How can you say the FSM book hasn’t been out for along time. If I was to read jack and the bean stalk it wouldn’t make me believe that beans can grow that high now can it? Just because a book says some thing does not give it credibility unless you want to believe it. As far as not knowing these things such as dinosaurs. Then why are our archaeologists spending so much time getting fossils? wouldn’t they like to know that all there discoveries were known by the bible before they even discovered? I think they found it first and then the Christians said dinosaurs were in the bible but they didn’t recognize it until now.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What difference does it make what the animal was? Maybe it was a Rhino or an elephant or a mythical animal called a Behemoth that really did have bones of bronze and Iron ribs. The book can describe any fantacy animal it wants, it is still fantacy and make believe. The bible being old does nothing to lend to its accuracy. If anything, you need to be suspicious of anything written at a time where fact base stories were not the norm. Honestly, if you didn’t grow up with religion and one day someone says to you, “hey, I know about these stories told by a bunch of nomads wandering around mesopotamia during the late bronze age. You want to buy into them as solid fact?” you would justifiably tell them to piss off.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@neal Dec 8th, 2007 at 12:03 am-This is to the “real neal” not the ignorant identity stealing “Neal”- I thought that was very well put, rock on brother.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I love the FSM!
Please can I have a bumper sticker? Thanks :)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Have you actually READ the bible?!
Clearly not, otherwise you would not be boasting about how accurate it is.
Some creeping insects have four legs (Leviticus 11:20-23)
Snakes eat dirt (Genesis 3:14)
The bat is a bird (Leviticus 11:19, Deuteronomy 14:11, 18)
Eagles carry their young on their wings (Deuteronomy 32:11)
Some fowls are four-footed (Leviticus 11:20-21)
Conies chew the cud (Leviticus 11:5)
Turtles have voices (Song of Solomon 2:12)
Some four legged animals fly (Leviticus 11:21)
Snails melt (Psalm 58:8)
Multi-colored baby goats are born by watching goats copulate through rods of different woods (Genesis 30:37-39)
Cockatrices (Jeremiah 8:17, Isaiah 11:8, 14:29, 59:5)
Unicorns (Deuteronomy 33:17, Psalms 22:21, 29:6, Job 39:9-10, Numbers 23:22, Numbers 24:8)
Satyrs (Isaiah 34:14, 13:21)
Fiery serpents (Numbers 21:6)
Flying serpents (Isaiah 14:29, 30:6)
The world is stable and immovable (1 Chronicles 16:30)
The world cannot be moved (Psalm 93:1)
He has fixed the earth firm, immovable (1 Chronicles 16:30)
Thou hast fixed the earth immovable and firm (Psalm 93:1)
He has fixed the earth firm, immovable (Psalm 96:10)
Who made the earth and fashioned it, and himself fixed it fast (Isaiah 45:18)
The earth has ends or edges (Job 37:3)
The earth has four corners (Isaiah 11:12, Rev 7:1)
The earth is on a fixed foundation (Psalm 104:5)
The earth rest on pillars (1 Samuel 2:8-10)
Epilepsy is caused by demon possession (Luke 9:39)
A fetus can understand speech and jump for joy (Luke 1:44)
Sick people are oppressed by the devil (Acts 10:38)
Washing in a Siloam pool restores sight (John 9:7)
Jesus believes sin causes physical disability (John 5:14)
Water stirred by angels will cure all illness (John 5:4)
Satan causes illness (Luke 13:11-16)
Mutes are possessed by the devil (Luke 11:14, Mathew 9:32-33)
Sickness is caused by lack of faith (Luke 8:48)
Disease is caused by god’s wrath (Numbers 12:10, Exodus 15:26)
Leprosy is cured by dipping a live bird in the blood of a dead one, kill a lamb, Find another pair of birds and repeat step one, sprinkle lots of blood around (Leviticus 14:2-52)
Humankind 4.54 Billion Years Old
Humans have been around since the world began (Acts 3:21)
Jesus believed Adam and Eve were created at the beginning of earth’s time (Mark 10:6)
Nothing has changed since the beginning of creation (Peter 3:4)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Seriously, Accurate? Err… This is the same one I had to buy for high school, right? The thing contradicts itself!!! IT SAYS THE EARTH IS FLAT AND THE SKY IS A DOME! Let’s all look at the book of Job, In summary (yeah, I actually read Job once, before I changed from agnostic to Pastafarian): the oh so great and kind god lets satan torture a guy, kill his family and his livelihood. Why? Because the guy believed in god. Yeah. Then after satan kills the guys family, once satan is done torturing and destroying the blokes life, god gives him another family. Okay, maybe it is the thought that counts, but what if the guy was attached to his dead family, yeah, god says here have another one. Right, so the guy has no qualms about this, just moves on straight away. Mmm, all I draw from that is that the deity you believe in is somewhat insensitive, and possibly sadistic. All this because the guy BELIEVED IN HIM? Some way to treat a follower.
If you follow the bible, one chapter, could be Leviticus, but I forget (read: Don’t care) Outlines what you can and can’t do if you want to pray, and ways to fix it so you can pray. Except that from reading it, it looks like breathing would prevent you from being pure enough, and to be able to do any of the things to allow you to pray, you have to be clean already. It is practically impossible to pray if you read your bible and follow it.
And your god is a hypocrite. In your ten commandments, One reads Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours cow/wife/property/whatever. This means Do not be Jealous.
Another commandment reads Thou shalt not worship any idol or god but me, for I am a JEALOUS lord.
Yep, your god says you shouldn’t be jealous, and then goes on to say that he is jealous.
What’s that verse about removing the lo from your own eye before trying to remove the splinter from the eye of another? Mmm?
Yes, this book that says the earth is flat, the sky is a dome, and contradicts itself heavily. Mmm, just a picture of accuracy.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@ Archdoom – well, erin does say some of the accurate parts weren’t recognised as such by science until a bit later on. It just hasn’t caught up with them all yet.
.
Any day now they’re going to be rethinking this round-earth fallacy, I’m sure!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
First of all, the Bible is not the oldest book or document. There are many books that date back farther than the Bible; Sun Tzu “The Art of War” is one example.
Second of all, the Bible is not even close to being accurate. Ignoring the linear inaccuracies, the Bible is a combination of two religions, Mithra and Christianity, which was merged together by Emperor Constantine.
Until the fourth century, Mithraism and Christianity were distinct but after Constantine, the two cults were blended to form the new faith. I believe it is time for an update of this blending, and the church of FSM seems as good as any.
I have just learned of the Church of FSM two days ago, and I have more understanding of this religion, than any other I have ever studied, or heard of.
For once I have seen the light. All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
wait! the bibles accurate?!
STOP EVERY THING!
pull the kids out of school, put them in church!
and people needed god to show them that if you followed a river you’d eventually reach an ocean? were they that stupid then?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
wait! the bibles accutate?!
STOP EVERY THING!
pull the kids out of school, put them in church!
and people needed god to show them that if you followed a river you’d eventually reach an ocean? were they that stupid then?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Fundies do tend to be confused about history
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/12/04/sherri-shepherd-doesnt-g_n_75292.html
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Palamede
Clearly when she says “Jesus” she means the almighty noodly vestige that we worship! RAmen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
uh by the way the bible was written long after christ was gone. its not like the koran, which was written right out of mohammeds mouth. if you are denying that us pastafarians are legit and that you are legit, then at least make a somewhat valid argument.please.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Okay, so correct me if im wrong but since when has the bible been accurate it uses simple logic that can be peiced together and thust create the FSM. The FSM covers every aspect with a very basic and simple understanding as to why things happen, where as the bible simply states ‘because god said so’ i dont rightfully understand how the bible is accurate.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
If the bible was ever accurate it was when it had never been writen and Mankind hadnt been created by his noodly appandage!
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Um, of course there are older documents than the Bible! Jewish Scripture! The Epic of Gilgamesh! Ceasar’s writing! Socrates! Plato! Did you sleep through history class! Or did you just not go to school at all! Jeez!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Plus, the people who wrote it contradict each other and make typos all the time. Don’t you think that God would protect his Holy Word from spelling errors?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I never read the section of a text stating that oceans were/are fed by freshwater springs. If this is true, then it is REASONABLE to conclude that the oceans are rising in volume due to the flow of underground water.
This must be the reason behind the rising waters of the oceanic world! I CAN’T BELIEVE that scientists are not proposing this theory in mass…
NOTE: Some statement and/or assumptions made in this text are recorded in a seething sarcasm.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@William
“I never read the section of a text stating that oceans were/are fed by freshwater springs”
hahaha
yes, surely that could explain the well-known universal flood; someone -let’s say a perfect creator- forgot turning off the tap :-)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
If the Bible was accurate it would be history, not religion. The Bible is not meant to be accurate about nowadays (apart from revelations, but it’s pretty vague…amazing what you can learn about the bible if you let Jehovah’s witnesses talk to you)it is meant to be historical, nothing really exists from that time to corroborate it. You wonder if Matty, Marky, Lukey and Johnny knew what it was they were writing…and I wonder where the name ‘Bible’ came from…
Whatever happened to ‘faith’?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
So God showed us these “fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs” eh? He must have said, “Hey! Look over here! I think I see some fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, and dinosaurs!”
You see, that was not your god. That was the FSM.
And lengthy “accurate” Hindu texts have been around for twice as long as Christian texts.
Sorry for my polytheism, Great Noodly One, but hail Shiva!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0