are you kidding me?

Published by henderob December 2nd, 2007 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

flying spaghetti monster? Are you kidding me? I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible. Try reading the book of Job. There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.
-erin

136 Responses to “are you kidding me?”

1. 41 - December 2nd, 2007 at 11:31 pm - ollie Says:
   
   

   Sorry, but the FSM told me this morning that His Noodleness in fact put out His Holy Word eons ago, but it was humanity’s depravity (and the work of that horrible Invisible Pink Unicorn) that prevented humanity from discovering His Divine Noodly Word and taking it to heart.

2. 42 - December 2nd, 2007 at 11:49 pm - ms.gypsy Says:
   
   

   And there are things other ancients knew that we couldn’t confirm for a long time. Can you explain the translation of the name of Lake Titicaca, meaning a Puma chasing a hare, a name that made no sense until satellite photographs of the lake showed that it had that shape? Can you explain the alignment of several ancient sites that line up to the sun at the exact moment of the summer (or winter) solstice? Just because some stuff is in the Bible that wasn’t in any other book at the time doesn’t make the Bible something special in any sense. (It also has more incest than an Appalachian knock knock joke and more hate crimes than most white supremacists’ wet dreams, but that’s another issue…)

   The Flying Spaghetti Monster isn’t in any other literature I’ve read but it’s here on this website and since I know there are followers of FSM out there, this must make this website The Truth. Same logic….

3. 43 - December 3rd, 2007 at 12:23 am - Captain W Says:
   
   

   “There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans,…”
   .
   It seems much more plausible that someone else (perhaps the Romans or Greeks) hypothosized about such things, and the writers of Job heard this and wrote about them. I am not saying that they were plagarizing or taking credit for other people’s work, but we tend to see things how we want to see them, so when christian read the bible, they may overanalyzing things some what.

4. 44 - December 3rd, 2007 at 12:44 am - harry Says:
   
   

   ur stupid erin because all hinduism doctrines are much older than the bible you ignorant dickweed

5. 45 - December 3rd, 2007 at 12:54 am - Jean Bart Says:
   
   

   Once inspiration for explaining everything and its contrary through the bible as dried up, some inspired creationist will publish a backwards printed version, thus offering new perspectives to the mentally blind. Upcoming bible features, probably still from the forward version:
   - a warning for the dangers of asbestos
   - a universal cancer care
   - the advantages of optical mouses
   - the impact of chocolate on the human brain
   - the rise and fall of Microsoft
   - the rise of global warming due to declining numbers of pirates
   .
   It’s all there, if you look inspiredly enough: there are even dinos in it!

6. 46 - December 3rd, 2007 at 1:23 am - Pixel Pete Says:
   
   

   Ah, how I missed the hate-mail! Nice bit on the Kangaroo, I found Conservapedia through Uncyclopedia, it’s got some funny stuff on it.
   RAmen

7. 47 - December 3rd, 2007 at 2:37 am - Nick Says:
   
   

   If your not a complete retard you know that it’s not referring t a freakin whale in Job. If it was referring to a whale it wouldn’t mention “a mighty neck” or whatever the passage said. And this whole religion is kind’ve a spoof of Christianity. There is no actual evidence or even partial evidence to back up this theory.

8. 48 - December 3rd, 2007 at 2:45 am - Captain Capelli d'angelo Says:
   
   

   @erin

   Job 40 clearly speaks of a grass eating “behemoth”. Somehow it falls short of dinosaur when described in the verses below. Sounds like a hippo to me. Maybe one got loose from the arc.
   Job 40:
   21 Under the lotus plants he lies,
   hidden among the reeds in the marsh.

   22 The lotuses conceal him in their shadow;
   the poplars by the stream surround him.

   23 When the river rages, he is not alarmed;
   he is secure, though the Jordan should surge against his mouth.

   Job 40 describes either a whale or great shark.
   Neither of these verses offers any description that says “dinosaur”.

   Lastly Job 40-19 when describing the behemoth says “He ranks first among the works of God…”. How can dinosaurs be first in gods eyes and yet be extinct?

9. 49 - December 3rd, 2007 at 2:54 am - lilwench Says:
   
   

   I think Erin needs to lay off visits to jesus camp, the creation museum, and GOP meetings. Open your mind (or at least your mouth) and fill it with pasta.

10. 50 - December 3rd, 2007 at 4:08 am - Aristotle Says:
    
    

    Blackbird Dec 2nd, 2007 at 12:30 pm
    “Remember kiddies. If someone wrote something down a long time ago, it has to be true.”
    .
    Especially if that someone is an invisible old man.

11. 51 - December 3rd, 2007 at 4:12 am - hpy2surf Says:
    
    

    Sorry, not interesting. Would you have thought of this if the bible did not exist? of course not. Copying the idea and changing the name sounds like satire. But it is not. Sounds like you support the idea of a creator. do you?

12. 52 - December 3rd, 2007 at 4:34 am - kooncie Says:
    
    

    dinosaurs in the bible? never heard about that from my crazy sunday school teacher……
    and by the way, this is my first post! yay.
    @dutchpastaguy - yes, i find conservapedia is always good for a laugh, and those two entries were hilarious!

13. 53 - December 3rd, 2007 at 5:05 am - ninja Says:
    
    

    Just because the Bible is old says nothing about its accuracy.. It is thought to be accurate as billions of people follow what it says..

    For instance.. If FSM was founded at the same time as Christianity it too would have billions of followers..

    Sorry Erin, but if you are going to insult us either use fact or insult us in a blind and utterly hilarious rage..
    Thanks for playing..

14. 54 - December 3rd, 2007 at 6:55 am - Resonator Says:
    
    

    I like this paragraph at the end of the Conservapedia kangaroo article, particularly what follows the first sentence:

    “In accordance with their worldviews, a majority of biologists regard evolution as the most likely explanation for the origin of species including the kangaroo. For example, approximately 45% of American scientists do not believe there is a God,[10] and 93% of the scientists who were members of the United States National Academy of Sciences do not believe there is a God.[11] Futhermore, since World War II a majority of the most prominent and vocal defenders of the evolutionary position which employs methodological naturalism have been atheists.[12][13]”

    Good stuff.

15. 55 - December 3rd, 2007 at 8:07 am - Graffin Says:
    
    

    Erin, you need to think about things you read, not just take them at face value. Do you really believe no one in that time period ever thought about or had theories about what the ocean floor looked like? Do you really think it was some magical guy that magically gave the author of Job these ideas? C’ mon Erin you’re killin me! You sound like some ignorant peasant from the Dark Ages. The bible is a collection of lame stories, and myths (most taken from ancient Greeks and others and twisted to fit the writers needs) designed to instill and maintain such ignorance in scared people. People like you who are scared of what happens after you die. Don’t be a coward. Besides the FSM could beat up God anyway.

16. 56 - December 3rd, 2007 at 8:33 am - Roger That Says:
    
    

    Glove slap, baby, glove slap.

17. 57 - December 3rd, 2007 at 8:51 am - Sloppy Joe Says:
    
    

    I have trouble listening to someone that uses the Bible as their proof for anything. These same people call Jesus the end all be all. However, when the Gospel of Thomas was found, religious scholars all agreed that it was the closest thing to the actual writing of Jesus himself. So, why isn’t it in the Bible? Why has no one heard of it? Because it contradicts practically everything in your prescious Bible. Think about that for a minute. If the words of Jesus contradict everything you believe, and he is your “Lord and Savior”, who’s the one that’s confused? If I’m going to believe in someone and dedicate my whole life to preaching their word, and all my evidence is based on thousands of years of translation, and finally the true writings of that person come out, I’m not going to hide it and pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s proof that you’re doing it all wrong. So don’t be surprised when someone makes fun of you. R’Amen.

18. 58 - December 3rd, 2007 at 9:22 am - St John the Blasphemist Says:
    
    

    “Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.”
    .
    Don’t forget talking snakes & flying horses. We’ve still yet to discover them.
    .
    St John the Blasphemist
    Saint of Kidding you

19. 59 - December 3rd, 2007 at 9:34 am - Samuelrj Says:
    
    

    “I don’t think there’s any documents or…”
    “There’s so many things mentioned…”

    its there are, not there is. get it straight.

    learn to speak, then comment.

20. 60 - December 3rd, 2007 at 10:16 am - KnitMongrel Says:
    
    

    Mmm. Hippos are delicious.

Leave a Reply