flying spaghetti monster? Are you kidding me? I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible. Try reading the book of Job. There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.
-erin
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
My FSM! A whole new level of ignorance and naivety!
@ the OP
“dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos”
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Cobblers! Derek’s got it spot on.
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Job 40:15
“Look at the behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox”
Job 41:1
“Can you pull in the leviathan with a fishhook or tie down his tongue with a rope?”
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If this is referring to dinosaurs then why two different words?
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The only way you can get dinosaurs from that is by interpreting the literal word of god. That’s a no no!
If genesis is literal then why should Job be any different?
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Leviathan means twisted or coiled - now what type of creature twists and coils around it’s prey? Could be a bloody big snake or, far more likely, a Nile crocodile.
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Have you seen how a croc. dispatches its prey? It twists around and around.
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Could be the Loch Ness Monster I suppose :D
@Erin
“dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos”
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Cobblers! Derek’s got it spot on.
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Job 40:15
“Look at the behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox”
Job 41:1
“Can you pull in the leviathan with a fishhook or tie down his tongue with a rope?”
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If this is referring to dinosaurs then why two different words?
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The only way you can get dinosaurs from that is by interpreting the literal word of god. That’s a no no!
If genesis is literal then why should Job be any different?
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Leviathan means twisted or coiled - now what type of creature twists and coils around it’s prey? Could be a bloody big snake or, far more likely, a Nile crocodile.
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Have you seen how a croc. dispatches its prey? It twists around and around.
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Could be the Loch Ness Monster I suppose :D
@nitram100
Welcome to your new spiritual home here at the church of the FSM. Hang around if you like, post some more. This is an excellent cyber-spot to be at:)
The Bible contains so many inaccuracies & inconsistencies, how can you class it as accurate?
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Taoism & The Binary System
What, have you never heard of ancient Egypt? Or Mesopotamia? I mean, clearly if Ancient Egypt isn’t mentioned in the Bible, it must never have existed, right?
Oh, hang on… it is mentioned in the Bible…
hahahahaha…awh i’ll never get bored of these…
@nitram100 - welcome, make yourself at home (if your home is tidy). You could take a look at the academic endorsements section and proof though - you will find that the FSM has more proof than most other gods.
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And my money is on the leviathan being some kind of a strange water dragon. I don’t know what the behemot is, seems a little bit like a large plant-eating dinosaur. But then again, it lies under the lotus plants, so it can’t be very big.
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Lastly, if you write a book the size of the bible and get nothing historically, biologically or geographically correct, you have defied gread odds.
Oh my, conservapedia really has it all. This quote comes from the kangaroos-article.
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“After the Flood, these kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land with lower sea levels during the post-flood ice age, or before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart. The idea that God simply generated kangaroos into existence there is considered by most creation researchers to be contra-Biblical.
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And yes, you guessed it: Pangaea broke apart after Noah’s flood. I realised that this also explains why old maps seem a little bit inaccurate. The continents have moved since then so much, that a modern map is bound to look different, right?
“…and are as accurate as the Bible.”
Speak for yourself. God thinks locusts have 4 legs.
Sheesh, it took long enough. Where have all the fundies gone? It’s been boring with no hatemail!
And in answer to you question, yes, we ARE kidding you.
Hi to all, just a message of support from a french FSM beleiver (sorry for my english).
One suggestion : Migrate to France ! You’ll feel at home (even if religion is trying a come back).
France (let me beleive that please) is probably the only place in the universe where a homo-atheist-communist-punk with aids could speak freely and publicly without being killed by mobs of angry religious extremists.
By the way, I created in 2005 the french reformed branch of the cult of the Pasta (inspired by you all of course). ;)
Here : http://homepage.mac.com/tristanmf/PASTA/
May the Pasta be with you.
Sheesh! Where have you BEEN, fundies? The site’s just no fun without hatemail! Are you giving up already?
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YES, we bloody ARE kidding you. It’s…a…parody. Satire. A joke. Get that into your thick heads.
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And for goodness’ sake, there are many older texts and many MANY more accurate texts than the Bible. The Bible is constantly contradicting itself, badly joining together totally different myths and has pretty much no bearing on the physical world. It was compiled by a bunch of priests hanging around going “Yes, we’ll keep that…no, chuck that out…” in order to tell their point of view as holy fact.
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Also, when you say that the Bible tells us about things we didn’t know about then…well, what you mean is that it can be INTERPRETED to mean those things. Nostradamus can be INTERPRETED to predict the rise of Hitler etc, but he’s a godless heathen, apparently. So how does this prove that your God is real?
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I think I just proved Nostradamus to be a god 0.o
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Final annoyance…I have read the book of Job. Is it not a story of how God randomly decided to torture someone as a “test of faith”? God is a bit of a sadist, isn’t he? I wouldn’t like to follow a god who does that to his believers…at least Satan gives them a chance
I don’t believe that it is so obviously a dinosaur as you would put it. This is because in the chapters you are citing, Job 41:19-21say, “Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out. Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron. His breath kindleth coals, and a flame goeth out of his mouth.” It is very unlikely that any dinosaur could make “a flame goeth out of his mouth.”
My wife my daughters and myself were eating an unpretensious pile of pasta with stuff in it. That’s because there were also a ton of teenage boys there and piles of pasta are cheap.
BUT HAND TO GOD….(that’s a semi-pun) we SAW the image of his noodly appendages…..right there, on the platter….just like Mary on that freakin’ taco or the time Mary appeared in the storm window on Washington St. in Perth Amboy, NJ……we seen it…..
YARRGGGHHH
The Mutt
Try Lucretius’, “On the Nature of Things” an epic poem promoting atheism and science written before Jesus was supposedly born (around 50-100BC). In it, Lucretius tells us that matter is made of atoms which “certainly aren’t crammed tight” and which are bound to nature’s law: “Nothing comes supernaturally from nothing” and “Nature dissolves all things into their atoms; things can’t die back down to nothing”, Atoms never stand still but “dash together and in an instant bounce every which way” and solids are “atoms that jar and rebound over tiny spaces, So tightly wedged in their assembly, tangled up in their snagged shapes, inter-twined and locked”, Then he goes on and describes practically Newtonian laws of motion: “Therefore all things, no matter the weight, must be driven the same through quiet emptiness” Lucretius tells us that people only believe in gods out of fears and naivety. IMO it is one of the best poem ever written, Although the science is often understandably outdated, Lucretius gets a surprising amount of things right.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Nature_of_Things
No original manuscripts of the bible exist. There is probably not one book which survives in anything like its original form. There are hundreds of differences between the oldest manuscripts of any one book. These differences indicate that numerous additions and alterations, some accidental and some purposeful, were made to the originals by various authors, editors, and copyists.
Many biblical authors are unknown. Where an author has been named, that name has sometimes been selected by pious believers rather than given by the author himself. The four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, are examples of books which did not carry the names of their actual authors. The present names were assigned long after these four books were written. And–in spite of what the Gospel authors say–biblical scholars are now almost unanimously agreed that none of the Gospel authors was either an actual disciple of Jesus or even an eyewitness to his ministry.
Although some books of the Bible are traditionally attributed to a single author, many are actually the work of multiple authors. Genesis and John are two examples of books which reflect multiple authorship.
Many biblical books have the earmarks of fiction. For example, private conversations are often related when no reporter was present. Conversations between God and various individuals are recorded. Prehistoric events are given in great detail. When a story is told by more than one author, there are usually significant differences. Many stories–stories which in their original context are considered even by Christians to be fictional–were borrowed by the biblical authors, adapted for their own purposes, given a historical setting, and then declared to be fact.
by Donald Morgan
This isn’t the appropriate forum for this, but I was wondering why my “concerned criticism” never got through to the page. I had guessed only the entertaining ones did, but this one’s kinda lacklustre. Gaping open holes to attack isn’t the same thing as interest in my opinion anyway.
Love the dinosaur page.
@☠DutchPastaGuy☠
I took a look at some of your links and I have to admit that they really were very funny. I go there from time to time for a laugh, but then I realize that some people actually believe that stuff and I just can’t stay there for long. Anyway, have you noticed that they replaced Wikipedia’s “navigation” thingy on the upper left portion of the page with something called “master control”? At least they are upfront with their dogma!