flying spaghetti monster? Are you kidding me? I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible. Try reading the book of Job. There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.
-erin
dinosaurs in the bible?
YAY! HATE MAIL! It’s been so boring without it…
“many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.”
what a load of uninformed crap.
The FSM just made it seem that way, to trick us. He’s got that sort of sense of humor.
What? No profanity, no insults, no threats, no telling us we’re going to hell, no caps lock, no mention of homosexuality, no misspellings? *shakes head*
I think we’re tiring them out.
Does it ever really occur to these people that maybe, just maybe, somebody just made the Bible up? I mean, if you read a book written in a 3rd-person omniscent view point, no one really assumes the book was written by God. It’s just a person making up a story, and in the case of the Bible it’s not even all that good. It’s really rather boring, however it can be amusing at times. Ezekiel 13:20 “And the Lord God saith: Behold, I am against your pillows”
“I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible”
No, of course there aren’t! The Egyptians, Greeks, Babylonians, and all of those other ancient civilizations certainly didn’t write anything- anyone who says otherwise worships Satan and probably eats babies as well.
Apparently our schools aren’t so big on the details of ancient history.
You mean a sane person wrote a book with the title “Job”? I laugh at thee.
Don’t forget about where lightning comes from lighting, god’s voice in thunder, and of course, the storehouses for the snow and the hail. Someone who tells you to read the Book of Job obviously hasn’t read the book of Job. Throughout the book, Job makes good arguments that he has been found guilty even though he’s innocent and god isn’t there to tell him what he’s accused of. All he wants is to talk to god and face his accuser. And then of course god gets pissed and starts yelling at him. The main reasons, according to god, to believe in him are: snow, hail, lightning, thunder, the zodiac, the pillars of the earth, and of course, the fact that the water knows to stop on the shore and not go any higher. Amazing. Now that we have a scientific understanding, I guess there’s no reason to believe in him anymore. FSM, of course, is beyond that. We have actual scientific data backing up our beliefs.
Also, it’s not dinosaurs. It’s clearly referring to a crocodile and a whale. If you actually read it in context and don’t listen to inmate 06452-017, I mean, Kent Hovind, it’s obvious what is being talked about. Either that, or dragons.
I know, your tired of Trolls and stupid comments life by stupid people. (such as myself) I have to add though, Penguins are my friend. =(
Actually there are quite a few books and other documents that far supersede the bible in both antiquity and accuracy. Both from that area, such as the from the ancient Greeks and their contemporaries as well as from other areas such as the Indian sub Continent, etc. etc. So your holy babble is far from unique and compared to other books or documents is largely garbage interwoven with the odd accurate historical and geographical fact. In fact, what your holy babble is based on was only put together a good few hundred years after the supposed Jesus died from a hodge podge of documents of, ta the gvery least, questionable authenticity. Similarly, even the books of the apostles weren’t written until quite some time after he died and are full of contradictions, like much of the rest of the babble. So please, don’t display your biased historical ignorance for all to see. Similarly, if you want to know about the holy babble you are far better off asking your average atheist than the average xian. The majority of which are completely ignorant of their precious holy babble, which they prove time and time again, except perhaps for any bits that support their particular bete noir. Such as those that use selected bits of the babble to support their bigotry against gays, though even then the average xian relying on those versus will be unlikely to know exactly which ones they are, simply parroting what their particular holy authority figure tells them. So crawl back under your rock why don’t you, or better still, go and get a proper education.
Remember kiddies. If someone wrote something down a long time ago, it has to be true.
Erin. Your shift key seems to be a bit sticky. You should clean that out. Not capitalizing makes your arguments seem to be a bit infantile and trite.
:)
i never capitalize my name. i think it’s pretentious.
Epic of Gilgamesh, I-Ching, Papyrus Ebers: way older than bible.
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Encyclopedia Britannica, Grey’s Anatomy, Principia Mathematica: far more accurate than bible.
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I have called your bluff, sir.
And we love you for it, Bobby!
*shakes head in disbelief at OP* *sigh*
I can’t belive i’ve only just heard about the flying spaghetti monster, it’s bloody hilarious, but at the end of the day it has the same amount of evidence that other religions do, count me in!
@Derek
“Also, it’s not dinosaurs. It’s clearly referring to a crocodile and a whale. If you actually read it in context and don’t listen to inmate 06452-017, I mean, Kent Hovind, it’s obvious what is being talked about. Either that, or dragons.”
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Hahahahaha. Nice one. But it isn’t just Kent Hovind. Have a good laugh at Conservapedias explanation:
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http://www.conservapedia.com/Dinosaur
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And while you’re having a laugh you can also look at their view on kangaroos:
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http://www.conservapedia.com/Kangaroo
They mention 69 species of kangaroo yet they also state that they all came from a single pair on board Noahs ark and that “After the Flood, these kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia.”. So A single pair produced 69 species in a few thousand years. Even we never gave evolution that much credit!
Where in the bible are dinosaurs mentioned Erin?
@ erin:
Let me get this straight. You’re telling us to abandon the great deliciousness of the FSM to become faithful and devoted servants to your god, and your sales pitch is the book of JOB!? You need to work on your marketing skills. Just look at if from our perspective: If we were as devoted to your god as Job was, wouldn’t we be treated just the same? Next time try a happier book, perhaps one in which the protagonist doesn’t have to endure misery, torment, and agony the entire time.
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Furthermore, the only contribution to the collective wisdom of the species that the book of Job has given us is this basic test: If you want to know if someone is depressed, you can tell them that you want to talk about the Bible with them, and if they agree, ask them to chose the book. If they chose Job, then you usually know.
-Avatar of Reason
My FSM! A whole new level of ignorance and naivety!
@ the OP
“dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos”
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Cobblers! Derek’s got it spot on.
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Job 40:15
“Look at the behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox”
Job 41:1
“Can you pull in the leviathan with a fishhook or tie down his tongue with a rope?”
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If this is referring to dinosaurs then why two different words?
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The only way you can get dinosaurs from that is by interpreting the literal word of god. That’s a no no!
If genesis is literal then why should Job be any different?
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Leviathan means twisted or coiled - now what type of creature twists and coils around it’s prey? Could be a bloody big snake or, far more likely, a Nile crocodile.
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Have you seen how a croc. dispatches its prey? It twists around and around.
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Could be the Loch Ness Monster I suppose :D
@Erin
“dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos”
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Cobblers! Derek’s got it spot on.
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Job 40:15
“Look at the behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox”
Job 41:1
“Can you pull in the leviathan with a fishhook or tie down his tongue with a rope?”
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If this is referring to dinosaurs then why two different words?
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The only way you can get dinosaurs from that is by interpreting the literal word of god. That’s a no no!
If genesis is literal then why should Job be any different?
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Leviathan means twisted or coiled - now what type of creature twists and coils around it’s prey? Could be a bloody big snake or, far more likely, a Nile crocodile.
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Have you seen how a croc. dispatches its prey? It twists around and around.
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Could be the Loch Ness Monster I suppose :D
@nitram100
Welcome to your new spiritual home here at the church of the FSM. Hang around if you like, post some more. This is an excellent cyber-spot to be at:)
The Bible contains so many inaccuracies & inconsistencies, how can you class it as accurate?
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Taoism & The Binary System
What, have you never heard of ancient Egypt? Or Mesopotamia? I mean, clearly if Ancient Egypt isn’t mentioned in the Bible, it must never have existed, right?
Oh, hang on… it is mentioned in the Bible…
hahahahaha…awh i’ll never get bored of these…
@nitram100 - welcome, make yourself at home (if your home is tidy). You could take a look at the academic endorsements section and proof though - you will find that the FSM has more proof than most other gods.
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And my money is on the leviathan being some kind of a strange water dragon. I don’t know what the behemot is, seems a little bit like a large plant-eating dinosaur. But then again, it lies under the lotus plants, so it can’t be very big.
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Lastly, if you write a book the size of the bible and get nothing historically, biologically or geographically correct, you have defied gread odds.
Oh my, conservapedia really has it all. This quote comes from the kangaroos-article.
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“After the Flood, these kangaroos bred from the Ark passengers migrated to Australia. There is debate whether this migration happened over land with lower sea levels during the post-flood ice age, or before the supercontinent of Pangea broke apart. The idea that God simply generated kangaroos into existence there is considered by most creation researchers to be contra-Biblical.
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And yes, you guessed it: Pangaea broke apart after Noah’s flood. I realised that this also explains why old maps seem a little bit inaccurate. The continents have moved since then so much, that a modern map is bound to look different, right?
“…and are as accurate as the Bible.”
Speak for yourself. God thinks locusts have 4 legs.
Sheesh, it took long enough. Where have all the fundies gone? It’s been boring with no hatemail!
And in answer to you question, yes, we ARE kidding you.
Hi to all, just a message of support from a french FSM beleiver (sorry for my english).
One suggestion : Migrate to France ! You’ll feel at home (even if religion is trying a come back).
France (let me beleive that please) is probably the only place in the universe where a homo-atheist-communist-punk with aids could speak freely and publicly without being killed by mobs of angry religious extremists.
By the way, I created in 2005 the french reformed branch of the cult of the Pasta (inspired by you all of course). ;)
Here : http://homepage.mac.com/tristanmf/PASTA/
May the Pasta be with you.
Sheesh! Where have you BEEN, fundies? The site’s just no fun without hatemail! Are you giving up already?
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YES, we bloody ARE kidding you. It’s…a…parody. Satire. A joke. Get that into your thick heads.
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And for goodness’ sake, there are many older texts and many MANY more accurate texts than the Bible. The Bible is constantly contradicting itself, badly joining together totally different myths and has pretty much no bearing on the physical world. It was compiled by a bunch of priests hanging around going “Yes, we’ll keep that…no, chuck that out…” in order to tell their point of view as holy fact.
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Also, when you say that the Bible tells us about things we didn’t know about then…well, what you mean is that it can be INTERPRETED to mean those things. Nostradamus can be INTERPRETED to predict the rise of Hitler etc, but he’s a godless heathen, apparently. So how does this prove that your God is real?
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I think I just proved Nostradamus to be a god 0.o
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Final annoyance…I have read the book of Job. Is it not a story of how God randomly decided to torture someone as a “test of faith”? God is a bit of a sadist, isn’t he? I wouldn’t like to follow a god who does that to his believers…at least Satan gives them a chance
I don’t believe that it is so obviously a dinosaur as you would put it. This is because in the chapters you are citing, Job 41:19-21say, “Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out. Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron. His breath kindleth coals, and a flame goeth out of his mouth.” It is very unlikely that any dinosaur could make “a flame goeth out of his mouth.”
My wife my daughters and myself were eating an unpretensious pile of pasta with stuff in it. That’s because there were also a ton of teenage boys there and piles of pasta are cheap.
BUT HAND TO GOD….(that’s a semi-pun) we SAW the image of his noodly appendages…..right there, on the platter….just like Mary on that freakin’ taco or the time Mary appeared in the storm window on Washington St. in Perth Amboy, NJ……we seen it…..
YARRGGGHHH
The Mutt
Try Lucretius’, “On the Nature of Things” an epic poem promoting atheism and science written before Jesus was supposedly born (around 50-100BC). In it, Lucretius tells us that matter is made of atoms which “certainly aren’t crammed tight” and which are bound to nature’s law: “Nothing comes supernaturally from nothing” and “Nature dissolves all things into their atoms; things can’t die back down to nothing”, Atoms never stand still but “dash together and in an instant bounce every which way” and solids are “atoms that jar and rebound over tiny spaces, So tightly wedged in their assembly, tangled up in their snagged shapes, inter-twined and locked”, Then he goes on and describes practically Newtonian laws of motion: “Therefore all things, no matter the weight, must be driven the same through quiet emptiness” Lucretius tells us that people only believe in gods out of fears and naivety. IMO it is one of the best poem ever written, Although the science is often understandably outdated, Lucretius gets a surprising amount of things right.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Nature_of_Things
No original manuscripts of the bible exist. There is probably not one book which survives in anything like its original form. There are hundreds of differences between the oldest manuscripts of any one book. These differences indicate that numerous additions and alterations, some accidental and some purposeful, were made to the originals by various authors, editors, and copyists.
Many biblical authors are unknown. Where an author has been named, that name has sometimes been selected by pious believers rather than given by the author himself. The four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, are examples of books which did not carry the names of their actual authors. The present names were assigned long after these four books were written. And–in spite of what the Gospel authors say–biblical scholars are now almost unanimously agreed that none of the Gospel authors was either an actual disciple of Jesus or even an eyewitness to his ministry.
Although some books of the Bible are traditionally attributed to a single author, many are actually the work of multiple authors. Genesis and John are two examples of books which reflect multiple authorship.
Many biblical books have the earmarks of fiction. For example, private conversations are often related when no reporter was present. Conversations between God and various individuals are recorded. Prehistoric events are given in great detail. When a story is told by more than one author, there are usually significant differences. Many stories–stories which in their original context are considered even by Christians to be fictional–were borrowed by the biblical authors, adapted for their own purposes, given a historical setting, and then declared to be fact.
by Donald Morgan
This isn’t the appropriate forum for this, but I was wondering why my “concerned criticism” never got through to the page. I had guessed only the entertaining ones did, but this one’s kinda lacklustre. Gaping open holes to attack isn’t the same thing as interest in my opinion anyway.
Love the dinosaur page.
@☠DutchPastaGuy☠
I took a look at some of your links and I have to admit that they really were very funny. I go there from time to time for a laugh, but then I realize that some people actually believe that stuff and I just can’t stay there for long. Anyway, have you noticed that they replaced Wikipedia’s “navigation” thingy on the upper left portion of the page with something called “master control”? At least they are upfront with their dogma!
Sorry, but the FSM told me this morning that His Noodleness in fact put out His Holy Word eons ago, but it was humanity’s depravity (and the work of that horrible Invisible Pink Unicorn) that prevented humanity from discovering His Divine Noodly Word and taking it to heart.
And there are things other ancients knew that we couldn’t confirm for a long time. Can you explain the translation of the name of Lake Titicaca, meaning a Puma chasing a hare, a name that made no sense until satellite photographs of the lake showed that it had that shape? Can you explain the alignment of several ancient sites that line up to the sun at the exact moment of the summer (or winter) solstice? Just because some stuff is in the Bible that wasn’t in any other book at the time doesn’t make the Bible something special in any sense. (It also has more incest than an Appalachian knock knock joke and more hate crimes than most white supremacists’ wet dreams, but that’s another issue…)
The Flying Spaghetti Monster isn’t in any other literature I’ve read but it’s here on this website and since I know there are followers of FSM out there, this must make this website The Truth. Same logic….
“There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans,…”
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It seems much more plausible that someone else (perhaps the Romans or Greeks) hypothosized about such things, and the writers of Job heard this and wrote about them. I am not saying that they were plagarizing or taking credit for other people’s work, but we tend to see things how we want to see them, so when christian read the bible, they may overanalyzing things some what.
ur stupid erin because all hinduism doctrines are much older than the bible you ignorant dickweed
Once inspiration for explaining everything and its contrary through the bible as dried up, some inspired creationist will publish a backwards printed version, thus offering new perspectives to the mentally blind. Upcoming bible features, probably still from the forward version:
- a warning for the dangers of asbestos
- a universal cancer care
- the advantages of optical mouses
- the impact of chocolate on the human brain
- the rise and fall of Microsoft
- the rise of global warming due to declining numbers of pirates
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It’s all there, if you look inspiredly enough: there are even dinos in it!
Ah, how I missed the hate-mail! Nice bit on the Kangaroo, I found Conservapedia through Uncyclopedia, it’s got some funny stuff on it.
RAmen
If your not a complete retard you know that it’s not referring t a freakin whale in Job. If it was referring to a whale it wouldn’t mention “a mighty neck” or whatever the passage said. And this whole religion is kind’ve a spoof of Christianity. There is no actual evidence or even partial evidence to back up this theory.
@erin
Job 40 clearly speaks of a grass eating “behemoth”. Somehow it falls short of dinosaur when described in the verses below. Sounds like a hippo to me. Maybe one got loose from the arc.
Job 40:
21 Under the lotus plants he lies,
hidden among the reeds in the marsh.
22 The lotuses conceal him in their shadow;
the poplars by the stream surround him.
23 When the river rages, he is not alarmed;
he is secure, though the Jordan should surge against his mouth.
Job 40 describes either a whale or great shark.
Neither of these verses offers any description that says “dinosaur”.
Lastly Job 40-19 when describing the behemoth says “He ranks first among the works of God…”. How can dinosaurs be first in gods eyes and yet be extinct?
I think Erin needs to lay off visits to jesus camp, the creation museum, and GOP meetings. Open your mind (or at least your mouth) and fill it with pasta.
Blackbird Dec 2nd, 2007 at 12:30 pm
“Remember kiddies. If someone wrote something down a long time ago, it has to be true.”
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Especially if that someone is an invisible old man.
Sorry, not interesting. Would you have thought of this if the bible did not exist? of course not. Copying the idea and changing the name sounds like satire. But it is not. Sounds like you support the idea of a creator. do you?
dinosaurs in the bible? never heard about that from my crazy sunday school teacher……
and by the way, this is my first post! yay.
@dutchpastaguy - yes, i find conservapedia is always good for a laugh, and those two entries were hilarious!
Just because the Bible is old says nothing about its accuracy.. It is thought to be accurate as billions of people follow what it says..
For instance.. If FSM was founded at the same time as Christianity it too would have billions of followers..
Sorry Erin, but if you are going to insult us either use fact or insult us in a blind and utterly hilarious rage..
Thanks for playing..
I like this paragraph at the end of the Conservapedia kangaroo article, particularly what follows the first sentence:
“In accordance with their worldviews, a majority of biologists regard evolution as the most likely explanation for the origin of species including the kangaroo. For example, approximately 45% of American scientists do not believe there is a God,[10] and 93% of the scientists who were members of the United States National Academy of Sciences do not believe there is a God.[11] Futhermore, since World War II a majority of the most prominent and vocal defenders of the evolutionary position which employs methodological naturalism have been atheists.[12][13]”
Good stuff.
Erin, you need to think about things you read, not just take them at face value. Do you really believe no one in that time period ever thought about or had theories about what the ocean floor looked like? Do you really think it was some magical guy that magically gave the author of Job these ideas? C’ mon Erin you’re killin me! You sound like some ignorant peasant from the Dark Ages. The bible is a collection of lame stories, and myths (most taken from ancient Greeks and others and twisted to fit the writers needs) designed to instill and maintain such ignorance in scared people. People like you who are scared of what happens after you die. Don’t be a coward. Besides the FSM could beat up God anyway.
Glove slap, baby, glove slap.
I have trouble listening to someone that uses the Bible as their proof for anything. These same people call Jesus the end all be all. However, when the Gospel of Thomas was found, religious scholars all agreed that it was the closest thing to the actual writing of Jesus himself. So, why isn’t it in the Bible? Why has no one heard of it? Because it contradicts practically everything in your prescious Bible. Think about that for a minute. If the words of Jesus contradict everything you believe, and he is your “Lord and Savior”, who’s the one that’s confused? If I’m going to believe in someone and dedicate my whole life to preaching their word, and all my evidence is based on thousands of years of translation, and finally the true writings of that person come out, I’m not going to hide it and pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s proof that you’re doing it all wrong. So don’t be surprised when someone makes fun of you. R’Amen.
“Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.”
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Don’t forget talking snakes & flying horses. We’ve still yet to discover them.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Kidding you
“I don’t think there’s any documents or…”
“There’s so many things mentioned…”
its there are, not there is. get it straight.
learn to speak, then comment.
Mmm. Hippos are delicious.
I love hate mail! It’s so stimulating!
I always just say arrrrrr……
Apparently this person is trying to get us to stop beliving…so i suppose he\she* is no better than one of those annyong people always coming to my doorstep trying to convert me, eh?
* I have trouble distinghishing gender…
@DPG–:lol: I went to the Conservapedia links. They are fan-damn-tastic. And great for a laugh. I like how it calls itself “the trustworthy encyclopedia.”
test?
I just love how the Conservapedia’s references were almost completely christian propaganda websites.
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And what is up with their mention of Pangea? All my pastors, sundayschool teachers and xian teachers said it was a lie made up by atheists. Why would they lie to me like that? *cries out in confused anguish and despair*
The crazy thing is there are documents older than the Bible! The Egyptians wrote theirs all over the walls. Since there belief is older I think I shall be praying to Ra, Nut and Geb.
I like the way the Bible is described as ‘accurate’. Accurate compared to what? How do you prove it is accurate?
Lets start with ‘Jesus is the son of God’and ‘Mary was a Virgin’.
Problem…Jesus was supposed to have come from the ‘line of David’. Whoops! Daddy was not from the line of David… I could go on, but I don’t think there is a need, do you?
Apparently a non-believer is going to ‘Eat your [our] Flying Spagetti Monster.’ Well, at least the existence of the FSM has now been accepted!
“There are many thing mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known…………Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs………….many of these things we didn’t know untill much, much later.”
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I’m confused. If these things are mentioned in the Bible, and if the Bible is old, then why didn’t we know about them untill much, much later? I mean, if dinosaurs are in the Bible then why didn’t the people in the middle ages know about dinosaurs?
“I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible.”
You are right, most documents or books from around that time are more accurate than the bible.
@kooncie
“and by the way, this is my first post! yay.”
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Welcome to the church of the FSM. Hang around, post some more if you like.
ahhh…..i love peope who think the bible is EVERYTHING when all it is is a bunch of stories that the “church” feels are important.
i love hate mail its great for when im sitting bored at home…and what exactly is christianity’s proof of god/jesus existing other than the bible…. WRITTEN BY CHRISTIANS! and isn’t it convenient that organised religeon inspires us not to think for ourselves but to just say “god did it” its the equivilent of a scared child blaming someone older…
Ignore that last one, it was meant for the next hate-mail letter…
P.E.T
Damn fundies.
Another embarassing thing a bout XtainsZ:
Their use of mixed metaphors:
Xtain music’s all time #1 hit song is a little number called “Open the eyes of my heart, Lord”. Talk about an unbelievably shitty mixed metaphor. Pity we can’t ship ‘em all to an FSM re-education camp where they can learn about Pasta based creationism AND use of rhetorical figures and tropes.
thanks for the welcome dutchpastaguy. and i enjoy ridiculing fundies as much as the next person, so i have a feeling you’ll see me around.
“I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible.”
Which Bible are you are talking about? The English King James version? The modern French translated catholic one? The renaissance Latin one? The Hebrew parchments? the Russian orthodox one? The annotated Mormon one? The Jehovah’s Witness interpretation?
Cause they are all called “Bibles” and they are all widely different from one another. Please specifiy which one is “accurate”.
Kthkbye.
“There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light.”
Unless some guy made it up… just sayin’
@rich Dec 3rd, 2007 at 5:21 pm
“The crazy thing is there are documents older than the Bible! The Egyptians wrote theirs all over the walls. Since there belief is older I think I shall be praying to Ra, Nut and Geb.”
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But didn’t you know that God built the pyramids?
Apparently the great pyramid is a pillar and suggests irreducibly complexity as well. :p
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http://www.biblestudents.com/endtimesarchives_sum99.cfm
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“The measurements of the Great Pyramid have revealed remarkable mathematical and scientific facts which confirm an architect of superior knowledge. The following lists just a few of these astounding facts:
• Twice the height of the Pyramid, divided into the distance around the base equals the mathematical value termed p (pi) to the nearest 1/10,000. Only recently has man been able to calculate p to this accuracy”
I thought the bible said Pi = 3? And remember that God wrote the bibble! Sigh…
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Also…
“The Great Pyramid wasn’t built, or ever used as a tomb! ! !”
http://www.asis.com/users/stag/starchiv/pyramid.html
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So there you have it…all perfectly (*coff*) logical!
We really should encourage them…they help us sooooo so much :p))
Hold on - the pyramid is a pillar? It’s been a while since I did any geometry but surely a pillar is something than has a reasonably consistent diameter all the way up, rather than being a square base with 4 triangular sides that meet in the middle, which is the roughly technical definition of a pyramid
@Wench Nikiee–I couldn’t even finish reading the first link, it’s so ridiculous. I like how they state that it’s a sign of the end of times, and any other statement or theory is the work of Satan. And how they tried to wrap their heads around this bizarre logic so it fits in with their scripture. OMFFSM! What the hell is wrong with these people? I couldn’t even bring myself to go to the second link. But, who am I to complain. No doubt I’ll be going to hell for not believing that the Great Pyramid is a biblical sign, and instead, a tomb.
@ Wench Nikkiee
if you look at the pyramid link far down it says that one of the sons of Noah instructed the resident Egyptians how to build the pyramid after the flood… anyone see something wrong with that?
And just when I was running out of reasons to doubt the existence of an omniscient being!
You know, there are some things in life that require a leap of faith. Then there are others that require you to completely ignore observable evidence, and do a series of mental somersaults to swallow a load of bullshit like Great Pyramid=sign of god.
muff1n + Love + that erin chick = Pastafarianism
Get It???
-Love, Muff1ns, And Pasta
Booger
If them there Egyptians weren’t the sons of Noah or the Sons of the Sons of Noah, just who was their daddy? And why didn’t he and the kids die in the flood?
This is prolly the best thing I’ve read in a great while. Tis not often I actually laughs my ass off, but this did it for me. Thank you. :)
That being said, I think I have to take this up with my professor since he claims that the ancient greek texts we read and discuss on a daily basis predates the Bible. It seems he is wrong, since the Bible is right. Right?
If you insist on reading interisting bullsh*t stories interwoven with a few truhts in between, why not read Herodotus? He’s way funnier.
I really loved conservapedia to. The greates collection of laughs since I bought the collected Far Side.
The Koran makes the same claims. I suggest you read the koran.
“Are you kidding me? I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible.”
An archaic book full of contradictions cannot be held as accurate, my dear friend.
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/by_name.html
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Anyway, you have not provided any testable evidence for god or any of the supernatural events in the Bible.
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Supernatural explanations are stupid and should never be used to explain events.
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“There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. ”
Very close-minded, there are infinite other things that can influence a creature on this planet, not just this impossible god.
Or, the things are very vague.
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“Fresh water springs feeding oceans,”
Someone could observe that fresh water rivers lead into oceans in those times.
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“deep trenches in the oceans,”
No,it does not say trench.
“38:16 Hast thou entered into the springs of the sea? or hast thou walked in the search of the depth?”
As you see, it is very vague, all Job said was that the sea was deep, people can also presume that the bed of the ocean is not the same depth along because it gets deeper as you go into the ocean.
If you see dark patches (’springs’), one could conclude the water is deeper there.
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“dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.”
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“40:15 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox.
40:16 Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly.
40:17 He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together.
40:18 His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.”
Hmm, was it something like an ox? It could have been a hippo, wildebeest, cow, crocodile or an imaginary being this weird person (job/writers of job) wrote about.
Since the word lizard or anything like it was used
does not sound like a dinosaur to me..
They probably knew about whales because of the story of Jonah…
They knew about hippos.
So JOB is awesome and has amazing facts given by god?
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/job/sci_list.html
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Too easy..
@ aPaThEiSt
“40:15 Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox.
40:16 Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly.
40:17 He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together.
40:18 His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron.”
> Thanks for posting this, aPaThEiSt (although I wail and gnash my teeth when attempting to type your screen name! -smile-)
> Clearly, this is the description of a mammal, not a lizard. I especially like the bit about the sinews of his stones. (snickers to self) One common denominator of patriarchal texts is the fixation on male reproductive equipment. Since lizards (by extension, dinosaurs) do not have visible, external reproductive organs, this cannot be the description of a dinosaur.
> Unless…T Rex was hung like a Orohippus(*) and the dino, after his kind, e*v*o*l*v**e*d to the interesting (nay, demonic!) reproductive system in existence today.
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(*) Cliffs FootNotes for fundies: multi-pronged joke here, involving anachronism of millions of years, disparity in body proportions, and juvenile homo sapiens sapiens humor.
the bible was written after the christian stories were told… hey, harry potter, that could be a bible, there are so many things in that that can’t be true and are not human that couldn’t be known to man. see the relation? first, no your facts and, i’m guessing, your own religeon. second your bible doesn’t explain those things, or are these “deep trenches” from the day jesus went in a u-boat?
your bad at the hole slander thing, maybe give it a rest until next time.
did he just say the bible was accurate? lol
tell me then, what was Jesus’s real name. How is the universe expanding if the Bible says “alaways was and always will be.” when describing the universe? YOU FAIL!
i’m un capatalizing my name for you bobby!
so they ever say that the serpent in Genesis was satan?
@Bombadil - He was never referred to as “Satan”, just “Serpent”.
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I looked it up on an online bible - it pained me to do so.
wooo! Fellow pirates, we too have a place in conservapedia -
www.conservapedia.com/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
RAmen
I’m not a religion basher - but can i say that the bible is not as accurate as you wish it to be.
1) it was not written by prophet Jesus - but rather some other guys who followed him.
2) it has been translated so many times, the meaning has properly changed.
3) where is the original copy of the bible?
as far as religions go, Islam is the most reliable when it comes to holy books because:
1) it was actually written by their prophet
2) look at number 3
3) the original copy of the Koran still exists (believe it or not).
Actually even the rather funny Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster still exists.
Great link Captain Bart. I can’t believe they were able to seriously write “The Flying Spagetti Monster is a thinly veiled attempt to mock Christianity by reducing it the level of some fictional religion like Pastafarianism.”
“The Flying Spagetti Monster is a thinly veiled attempt to mock Christianity by reducing it the level of some fictional religion like Pastafarianism.”
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> This is so sad and misguided.
Since the FSM (may sauce be upon Him) is complex carbohydrates incarnate, the Conservapedian attempt to ‘reduce his complexity’ is doomed to failure.
RAmen.
The Bible is as accurate as the Greek mythology, or any other mythology in the world. For instance, Noah’s flood is similar to the flood of Deucalion, both of which emanate from the Babylonians.
Unfortunately, people like you will never be able to face the truth that the Bible is bad mythology and propaganda used to control the masses. Not even Jesus existed as portrayed in that crappy book.
Wake up. God does not exist. There is no son of God. The Bible is not historical.
At the end of the day, it is people’s right to be Pastafarians or whatever else the want. Finally, after hundreds of years of ‘Christian’ torture we are able to raise our voice of objection and disgust against your pathetic religion.
“I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible” WTF? 1) There are many documents that date way before the bible.
2) Bible accurate? The fact that no original biblical documents remain instantly discredits it. Even our profit is still alive. You can’t argue with that.
JAJAJA
someone wrote first what i was going to say, the bible has been traslated so many times. And for so unclear people.
My FSM
Dinosaurs? This dude needs to re-read his Bible. There is no reference to dinosaurs in it, that’s a reference to an elephant. This dude would do a better job defending the Bible and God if he could discuss it intelligently rather than quote foolish statements made by moronic, poorly educated, self-declared, unstudied pastors grasping at straws trying to resolve scientific truths with biblical ones our of fear of losing his flock.
BTW - For all you Flying Spagetti Monster goobs: My god is real, yours is just a meal. His noodly appendage is making its way past my God’s appendix. Yum! Yum!
There must be another neal on this board, the last post beginning with “Dinosauars?” is not mine.
I don’t know who posted the last thing on this thread with the name “Neal” that begins “Dinasaurs”. I know I would never call Pastafarians “goobs”. If someone has the same name as me please use a different handle to distinguish yourself from me. I know it’s only a blog, but it does piss me off when people think I am saying it and it’s someone else who has appropriated my identity.
It kills me how Xtains take the posture they are being persecuted in our culture. I seem to recall a few years back, it was the Falwells, O’Reilly’s, the Robertsons, and the Dobson’s who declared a “culture war” on people who were just living their lives-albeit with lifestyles markedly different from those mandated by traditional Xtain morals, beliefs and mores.
But, then again, it’s supposed to be a free country. The counter move to that has been to engage in vituperation of the practtioners of these emergent lifestyles. When the attacked non christian strikes back, he’s painted as persecuting christians when it’s really just self defense in the marketplace of ideas.
Flash to Xtains, the constitution, the bill of right, and American culture in no way grants you “the right to prevail”. Other religions have vanished from the face of the earth (eg. the Cult of Isis, or, more recently, the Shakers). There is no law that says we have to treat you as an endangered species if more and more people find you bullshit and your bullshit tactics and antics less and less credible and tolerable. That’s not persecution. That’s evolution in action.
Wow, who would have thought that reading a football website would lead me to link that would change my life. Well done, people. Your community is great.
@Dutch Pasta Guy. Conservapedia makes me sad. I didn’t know it existed until your post, but the articles on Kangaroos made me very, very sad with the direction the world is taking. But to counterbalance that nonsense, there’s the Church of the FSM. Go rational thought!
@Neal-your God is real? Finally, someone who has seen a God!! What was he like Neal? Was he old looking with a beard? Did he look like Magic Johnson, or was it Alanis Morrisette? Answer back Neal I want to know what He/She was like, because you must have seen Him/Her to claim that it’s real. What is the meaning of life Neal? You must know since you have spoken with a god. Get back to us we are all eagerly awaiting your reply.-Judas Iscariot
Why do people insist on quoting a book as evidence of the ultimate truth? It’s a book for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, there is very little in it that hadn’t been written in a different form prior to it; Gilgamesh anyone? How can you get more accurate than the writings of the Persian book-keepers who listed everything under the sun from sheep to grains of wheat? Don’t any of you bible thumpers ever read anything else?
well, the other 5/6 of the world think your god is pure imagination and they also think ours is a meal. The main different is that a meal exists in the real (or material) world.
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a god is something that exists and has a lot of power(depending on the god, offcourse).
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Now consider this: your god is considered existent and powerful by about a six of world population and nonexistent and not powerful by the rest
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our “meal” is considered existent and powerful by some and just existing by the rest. atleast one quiteria is fulfilled by the whole population. there were one six of the population who fulfilled both quiteria for christianity giving it a validy value of 2*1/6=1/3. FSMism is fulfilling one quiteria for the whole population giving it a validy value of 1*6/6=1
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futher it could be noticed that there are no religion substansially bigger than christianity.
therefore FSMism is 200% more valid than any other religion on the earth
Well, I do not see these people criticizing ur religion anywhere on this site.
And who says u need a book or written documents to believe in something.
For all u kno the person who had the vision about god and all that other stuff,
could have faked it. RIGHT??? And did u kno that each time there was a new King
in England the Bible was changed to suit his believes. I bet u didn’t.
Now I suggest you stop disrespecting what they believe in [if they believe in it]
cuz they’re not dissing urs.
good-bye. =]
The only way you could EVER use the word “bible” and “accurate” in the same sentence is if the word “isn’t” is in between them. Maybe you should stop dissing our religion ok. Just because our religion here is based on a flying noodly deity doesn’t mean that you should mock us.
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Job? Job? JOB IS YOUR SALES PITCH? Let me summarize Job: One day someone said, “Dear God, I’d like to mess with humanity.” And God replied, “Yes, please. Take this man Job. He’s been nothing but good, faithful, and loyal.” So Job has EVERYTHING taken from him. He’s covered in sores, he loses his land and livestock, his entire family DIES. And yes, God gives everything back times two for being faithful. But don’t you think he’d want his children back? His wives (yes, multiple) back? His first life back? Seems to me that this is not a book you’d want to use in order to convert people.
Moreover, the Bible is a historical text. It is the history of a people. I just don’t buy it that Solomon had 700 wives, 300 concubines, and all the prostitutes he could handle and still had time for breakfast. Sorry. When you read the bible, you are reading a historical epic. And when you’re the most kicked around group of people in the fertile crescent, there’s nothing you want more than to have a story that’s BIG. So Erin, were I you, I would revise my selling points. That’s all.
Well don to harry Dec 3rd, 2007 at 12:44 am, I haven’t seen “dickweed” used since Bevis and Butt-head.
I ate noodles today, cold, without sauce and now i have telescoptic optical lenses. ra-men.
erin is a wrong person who needs to read a non-bible book or stop doing the alive thing.
There is a book and its called “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.” Besides if I brought up a holy book that was before the torrah or bible would that make your religion less credible and you would have to convert? How can you say the FSM book hasn’t been out for along time. If I was to read jack and the bean stalk it wouldn’t make me believe that beans can grow that high now can it? Just because a book says some thing does not g