flying spaghetti monster? Are you kidding me? I don’t think there’s any documents or books that date back as far as the Bible and are as accurate as the Bible. Try reading the book of Job. There’s so many things mentioned in that book alone that could not have been known by people, unless God brought it to light. Fresh water springs feeding oceans, deep trenches in the oceans, dinosaurs(40-42), yes dinosaurs not whales or hippos; many of these things we didn’t know until much, much later.
-erin
Connect with other Pastafarians
Propaganda Buttons
Add these buttons to your site:
RSS Feeds
Support the Cause
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
Purchase the Gospel
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Seriously, Accurate? Err… This is the same one I had to buy for high school, right? The thing contradicts itself!!! IT SAYS THE EARTH IS FLAT AND THE SKY IS A DOME! Let’s all look at the book of Job, In summary (yeah, I actually read Job once, before I changed from agnostic to Pastafarian): the oh so great and kind god lets satan torture a guy, kill his family and his livelihood. Why? Because the guy believed in god. Yeah. Then after satan kills the guys family, once satan is done torturing and destroying the blokes life, god gives him another family. Okay, maybe it is the thought that counts, but what if the guy was attached to his dead family, yeah, god says here have another one. Right, so the guy has no qualms about this, just moves on straight away. Mmm, all I draw from that is that the deity you believe in is somewhat insensitive, and possibly sadistic. All this because the guy BELIEVED IN HIM? Some way to treat a follower.
If you follow the bible, one chapter, could be Leviticus, but I forget (read: Don’t care) Outlines what you can and can’t do if you want to pray, and ways to fix it so you can pray. Except that from reading it, it looks like breathing would prevent you from being pure enough, and to be able to do any of the things to allow you to pray, you have to be clean already. It is practically impossible to pray if you read your bible and follow it.
And your god is a hypocrite. In your ten commandments, One reads Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours cow/wife/property/whatever. This means Do not be Jealous.
Another commandment reads Thou shalt not worship any idol or god but me, for I am a JEALOUS lord.
Yep, your god says you shouldn’t be jealous, and then goes on to say that he is jealous.
What’s that verse about removing the lo from your own eye before trying to remove the splinter from the eye of another? Mmm?
Yes, this book that says the earth is flat, the sky is a dome, and contradicts itself heavily. Mmm, just a picture of accuracy.
@ Archdoom - well, erin does say some of the accurate parts weren’t recognised as such by science until a bit later on. It just hasn’t caught up with them all yet.
.
Any day now they’re going to be rethinking this round-earth fallacy, I’m sure!
First of all, the Bible is not the oldest book or document. There are many books that date back farther than the Bible; Sun Tzu “The Art of War” is one example.
Second of all, the Bible is not even close to being accurate. Ignoring the linear inaccuracies, the Bible is a combination of two religions, Mithra and Christianity, which was merged together by Emperor Constantine.
Until the fourth century, Mithraism and Christianity were distinct but after Constantine, the two cults were blended to form the new faith. I believe it is time for an update of this blending, and the church of FSM seems as good as any.
I have just learned of the Church of FSM two days ago, and I have more understanding of this religion, than any other I have ever studied, or heard of.
For once I have seen the light. All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!
wait! the bibles accurate?!
STOP EVERY THING!
pull the kids out of school, put them in church!
and people needed god to show them that if you followed a river you’d eventually reach an ocean? were they that stupid then?
wait! the bibles accutate?!
STOP EVERY THING!
pull the kids out of school, put them in church!
and people needed god to show them that if you followed a river you’d eventually reach an ocean? were they that stupid then?
Fundies do tend to be confused about history
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/12/04/sherri-shepherd-doesnt-g_n_75292.html
@Palamede
Clearly when she says “Jesus” she means the almighty noodly vestige that we worship! RAmen!
uh by the way the bible was written long after christ was gone. its not like the koran, which was written right out of mohammeds mouth. if you are denying that us pastafarians are legit and that you are legit, then at least make a somewhat valid argument.please.
Okay, so correct me if im wrong but since when has the bible been accurate it uses simple logic that can be peiced together and thust create the FSM. The FSM covers every aspect with a very basic and simple understanding as to why things happen, where as the bible simply states ‘because god said so’ i dont rightfully understand how the bible is accurate.
If the bible was ever accurate it was when it had never been writen and Mankind hadnt been created by his noodly appandage!
RAmen
Um, of course there are older documents than the Bible! Jewish Scripture! The Epic of Gilgamesh! Ceasar’s writing! Socrates! Plato! Did you sleep through history class! Or did you just not go to school at all! Jeez!
Plus, the people who wrote it contradict each other and make typos all the time. Don’t you think that God would protect his Holy Word from spelling errors?
I never read the section of a text stating that oceans were/are fed by freshwater springs. If this is true, then it is REASONABLE to conclude that the oceans are rising in volume due to the flow of underground water.
This must be the reason behind the rising waters of the oceanic world! I CAN’T BELIEVE that scientists are not proposing this theory in mass…
NOTE: Some statement and/or assumptions made in this text are recorded in a seething sarcasm.
@William
“I never read the section of a text stating that oceans were/are fed by freshwater springs”
hahaha
yes, surely that could explain the well-known universal flood; someone -let’s say a perfect creator- forgot turning off the tap :-)
If the Bible was accurate it would be history, not religion. The Bible is not meant to be accurate about nowadays (apart from revelations, but it’s pretty vague…amazing what you can learn about the bible if you let Jehovah’s witnesses talk to you)it is meant to be historical, nothing really exists from that time to corroborate it. You wonder if Matty, Marky, Lukey and Johnny knew what it was they were writing…and I wonder where the name ‘Bible’ came from…
Whatever happened to ‘faith’?