21507 Views
172 Comments

For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist

Published November 26th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.

But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.

In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’

I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.

Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.

And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!

Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?

RAmen

With deep respect,
Zhang



172 Responses to “For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist”

  1. Red DutchPasta Wench says:

    Assassin Sheepdog : I live your logic! Great thinking :))
    (Even though I’m a little bit older than that age-group :))) )

  2. PirateHooker says:

    Dearest sir, there are billion of pastafarians. Ya, sure, of course our planet is populated with heretical denial of His noodley majesty..but for the large part, the universe bows down to his Deliciousness.

  3. pastaman says:

    what’s the name of that song?

  4. rmw says:

    Hello Zhang. I’m not sure of the numbers of followers, but from reading some of the other posts, it looks like we may have enough to be considered a “real” religion and thus qualified for tax-exemption status. Please, join our noodly and piratey religion. Or, feel free just enjoy a bowl of spaghetti and maybe watch “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Either way, it’s cool. May you be touched by his noodly appendage.

  5. Cap'n Bob the Spanky says:

    @ Seeker of Truth
    Count us nonagenarians in as well.
    PS. Is “plegerism” anything like plagiarism?

    @ Peter Popoff
    Yes? Did you want me?

  6. Boarg says:

    Welcome to the fold, er, pirate ship, Zhang. Enjoy beer and strippers and keep a sharp eye out for ninjas. Belief in the afterlife is about to get a whole lot more enjoyable.
    RAmen

  7. ID LOL says:

    @Cottura 5 Minuti
    Yeah the periodic table cought on, I’m Vanadium not too sure what that is but oh well.

  8. PacificPam says:

    I have counted…1,652,987,456.25

Leave a Reply