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For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist

Published November 26th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.

But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.

In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’

I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.

Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.

And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!

Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?

RAmen

With deep respect,
Zhang



172 Responses to “For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist”

  1. Saucyballs says:

    @Zhang
    I’m just curious, but was your classmate named Nicole who has an e-mail posted in the hate mail section? She mentions..”swimming unicorn of wonder”. What’s with the unicorns? No resemblance to the only true FSM although I’m sure he could take on any form of unicorn. The main difference between the FSM and a unicorn is that a unicorn isn’t real. Sheesh!
    I do applaud you in possibly converting to Pastarianism. May his great noodlely appendage reach out and touch you.

  2. Saucyballs says:

    I had to correct my spelling. Pastafarianism. Damn my fat fingers!

  3. Cottura 5 Minuti says:

    Congratulations on a great choice. The IPU has nothng on the FSM.
    .
    And I claim oxygen, since I got started on the periodic table on the other thread.

  4. Cottura 5 Minuti says:

    Oops, I left the browser window open while I was checking something else and ended up with sodium, not oxygen.

  5. Etay says:

    I didn’t read past the second comma…
    .
    So, you’re saying that you have faith in a race from Warhammer 40K?
    Freaky, man. Freaky.

  6. Peter Popoff says:

    Hello to you too!
    Spanky.

  7. Bombadil says:

    10 million. i love that youtube video btw. HE FLIES OH HE FLY-IES

  8. Seeker of the Truth says:

    Hey youse guys only counted the 13-25 age group. I am a couple of generations older and I’m a believer (Sorry Monkeys). I am sure there are lots of us O.F., male and female, who are believer but perhaps are afraid to say so. And don’t forget the PhD’s, I am sure all are over 25. There are most likely a lot of “closet Pastafarians”. At first I was but now I am spreading the word. So come on all you so called “over-the-hillers” RAISE YOUR VOICES, stand up and be counted. Remember, “Asked not what the FSM can do for you. Ask what you can do for him or her whatever the case may be.” Isn’t plegerism fun?

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