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For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist

Published November 26th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.

But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.

In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’

I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.

Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.

And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!

Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?

RAmen

With deep respect,
Zhang



172 Responses to “For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist”

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  1. PacificPam says:

    @Momi Pink Shoes – Nooo, it was excellent you shopped and shagged! 2 great pleasures!
    .
    RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREINTARANAAAAAATIONNN!
    .
    Ramshank and Ramen!

  2. Pluto (Not sorry at all!) says:

    Ramshank! Blessed be Bo’ Selector

  3. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    I have decided that Ramshank is now the word of my life.

  4. PacificPam says:

    Me too Momi Pink Shoes. It is on the top three: 1. Ramshank 2. Twat 3. Brollies…hahahahahaaha I love Brollies….
    .
    Way too much balls of steel for me…=)
    .
    I don’t like the incest word…I prefer to call them crackers

  5. Pluto (Not sorry at all!) says:

    “I don’t like the incest word…I prefer to call them crackers”
    I like the word Hicks

  6. PacificPam says:

    Inbreeders…sisterfuckers…

  7. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    @PPam – What’s a Brollie?

  8. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    I call them “West Virginians”

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