The Ledger reports that the majority of Polk County, Florida, School Board members support teaching Intelligent Design in addition to evolution in public schools.
It’s unclear if they’re prepared to change the definition of science. Some people are concerned that a supernatural theory will not mesh with the study of the natural world.
Board member Kay Fields said last week she wants intelligent design, which is promoted by some Christian groups, taught in science classes in addition to evolution.
“If it ever comes to the board for a vote, I will vote against the teaching of evolution as part of the science curriculum,” Lofton said. “If (evolution) is taught, I would want to balance it with the fact that we may live in a universe created by a supreme being as well.”
The board’s majority opinion is at odds with many in Florida’s scientific community who strongly support the new, more rigorous science standards, and say intelligent design lacks scientific credibility.
Perhaps Florida’s scientific community has not realized the type of genius arguments they’re up against:
“My tendency would be to have both sides shared with students since neither side can be proven,” [School Board Member] Tim Harris said.
“I don’t have a conflict with intelligent design versus evolution,” [School Board Member] Sellers said. “The two go together.”
“It crosses the line with people who are Christians,” [School Board Member] Lofton said. “Evolution is offensive to a lot of people.”
Pastafarians are concerned that the Polk County School Board is endorsing Intelligent Design, but ignoring our theory, even though it is widely endorsed by the scientific community.
I will wager that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster can produce more academic endorsements for our theory than Intelligent Design proponents can for theirs.
My guess is that the Polk County School Board is just unaware of Pastafarianism. As a public service, I propose that we contact them, and let them know that there are other supernatural theories just as valid as Intelligent Design, primarily ours.
Contact info:
Those in favor of Intelligent Design:
Kay Fields (District 5)
Kay.Fields@polk-fl.net
863-802-5483
Tim Harris (District 7)
Tim.Harris@polk-fl.net
863-808-0005
Margaret Lofton (District 6, Chairman)
Margaret.Lofton@polk-fl.net
863-294-9076
Hazel Sellers (District 3)
Hazel.Sellers@polk-fl.net
863-533-7714
Lori Cunningham (District 2, Vice-Chairman) – undecided
Lori.Cunningham@polk-fl.net
863-512-1656
Those not in favor of Intelligent Design:
Frank O’Reilly (District 1)
Frank.Oreilly@polk-fl.net
863-647-1390
Brenda Reddout (District 4)
Brenda.Reddout@polk-fl.net
863-324-0127
You can use this link to email all 7 School board members.
Please be respectful – remember we are not criticizing their beliefs, merely pointing out that there is another, just as legitimate, theory that should be included into the curriculum. Please leave a comment and tell us about your conversations with the School Board. Thank you!
The Ledger article can be found here.
*update* 12/11/07 – Their local newspaper published a story about our campaign here.
When will people realize that evolution has stood up to a century of rigorous scientific testing by many and has been consistently proven true, while intelligent design is based upon the beliefs of the individual, can be either true or false, and therefore should not be cast in equal light?
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At least they’re a good looking bunch. It is sad that they deny their Maker and all His Carby-glory. It is only when they pass on to the next world that they will realize the error of their ways. For in death, we are all made equally stupid.
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“Evolution is offensive to a lot of people.”
So is religion to a lot of intelligent people!
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Since when did the definition of science become a democratic process? So, 7 people get to vote on what IS and what IS NOT Science? Unbelievable.
Intelligent Design/Creationism is based on supernatural beliefs and is not empirically testable or compatible with natural law, which is necessary for it to be called a scientific theory or science.
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Once more, without the paragraph tags (FSMdammit!):
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@Ted Buckland
Go get your dictionary. Do it now. If you don’t have one, then go to dictionary.com & type in the word evolution. Do you see any part in the meanings that mention anything about creation of the universe or even origins of life?
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Just in case you’ve had any trouble, I’ll give you some help:
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Evolution (ěv’ə-lōō’shən, ē’və-) n.
Biology
1. Change in the genetic composition of a population during successive generations, as a result of natural selection acting on the genetic variation among individuals, and resulting in the development of new species.
2. The historical development of a related group of organisms; phylogeny.
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There. Does that make sense to you now? Evolution has nothing to do with the origins of the universe, or even the origins of life. Darwin made that blatantly clear when he named his book The Origin of Species.
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I find it incredibly arrogant of you to enter an argument without first understanding the details of the argument.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Etymologies
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As an intelligent human being, and a person who has cogitated on the subject, I find it inconceivable that Intelligent Design (ID) isn’t also taught in our school’s science curriculum. (you will notice that I can spell – the sure sign of education and “right thinking” or, perhaps, a spell-checker)
Others may disagree with me, but I suspect that they are simply too afraid to face the fact that there is a greater authority and power in this universe. Perhaps it is their attempt to compensate for how truly minute the the average (non-Christian) human is in the grand design of the universe. Perhaps not. Perhaps they are simply obstinate.
Either way, I pity you if you feel the need for such self-aggrandizement. I know my place in the Universe, it is kneeling at the feet of the Creator, giving thanks, and begging for forgiveness. For it is only through forgiveness that I can be rid of these spiders that keep coming out of my skin. And the beaver gnawing at my foot. And only HE can save me from being the next victim of the lemur who is fornicating with a Honda Civic over there in the corner! Save me Jeebus! Save me!! Save meeeeeeee…
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I’m writing from Europe, where almost every scientist believes in evolution, but where many of them also belive in god. Here some first thoughts about what your message, darwinian-macroevolution-denying physician
I feel you completely misunderstood something. In theory, science could come to the conclusion of god’s existence and prove it (supposing there is one), and that would be accepted.
What is not accepted in science is explaining something with god: you can’t explain something by something else that is not proven.
And anyway, in most cases, what was thought unexplainable trough science (and was hence ascribed to god) became explainable some time later.
To come to evolution, you may find the evidence is not sufficient. But at least, there is some, and it is growing every day. For ID, there is none at all! And it doesn’t shows there is a designer, it is only built on the asumption some things cannot be explained by darwinism, although they can, so their proof doesn’t work.
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@ The Dembskist right above me (unless somebody beats me to a response)
“something scientific that is unexplainable by any scientific means”
I hope another Pastafarian knows how to respond to this, because I am at a loss. Wow, just, wow.
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My main point here is just to say that just because somebody keeps telling you that you are wrong doesn’t mean that they are out to get you, it might just mean that you are wrong.
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We should just tell these people that don’t want evolution taught in school that we could mix the theory of ID and evolution together into one class. At the beginning of the course the teacher would just explain how Adam and Eve got to gettin’ it on and then they had kids and their kids had to have incest to procreate and their kids and so on and so until all this inbreeding ended up with the caveman who is a mongoloid retarded inbred version of Adam and Eve. Then go on to real science from there. LOL, might as well since people like these on the board obviously haven’t evolved past the worshipping fire stage. And D.A.M.E.D Physician you’re a coward.
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I have emailed them with a proposal:
Dear Polk County School Board Members and whom it may concern,
I am an American who is concerned about the youth of today. My major is psychology, and I currently study at College of the Canyons in Valencia, California. I have noticed that Polk County is inclined to teaching Intelligent Design in science classes. I think this is a great idea, but it would be very biased if only the Christian Intelligent Design “theory” is taught in science classes; because of this, I am concerned. What about other religions? It would only be fair to teach their “theories” as well. Now, I politely ask that other theories such as Hindu Intelligent Design “theory”, Muslim Intelligent Design “theory”, various Pagan design “theories”, and Pastafarian Intelligent Design “theory”. Teaching the Intelligent Design “theories” of every religion would thwart possible lawsuits for unequal representation and save the school district much money in the long run. One could argue that teaching all of these would cost much money and time as well; this is very true. What I propose to you, is that Intelligent Design “theory” have a presence in society, as it is a great part of American culture, but not be taught in government-funded institutions, such as public schools. This is not true for private institutions, such as Christian schools and other private schools, however. A safer alternative would be to teach the history of Intelligent Design “theory” in a social studies or sociology class, as it is both present in history and society.
Any replies would be very welcome.
A concerned American,
Kendrick ********
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Know what, I was eating potato chips the other day, and I realized that the markings on one of the chips was the image of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Clearly, HE has given us a sign, he is real, how can anyone say he does not exist if he engraves his image into a potato chip. Fall down and worship him. It’s a miracle. Pastalulah! Ramen!
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I was led to think that science class is about teaching our current understanding of the nature. We are supposed to learn our repeatable observations and retell it using mathematics.
I do not think anyone was teaching quantum mechanics in an 18th century science class because they believed in a wave-particle duality. It was not until the roots were well-established that this topic made it to classrooms.
If in the future it is scientifically proven that a god exists and it is accepted by the scientific community, it would be just logical for the theory of god to be taught.
It should not be expected, however, that some unproven hearsay argument to be taught as a part of science classes. Where is the evidence? Where is the proof? How did it happen? Does it contradict any of the theorems (or laws) that define our understanding of the nature? To be exact, intelligent design terribly fails this test.
Based on that, requesting Snow White and Seven Dwarfs to be taught in the science class would be just as logical.
Xenon
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Better late than never. Here is my letter:
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“Hang in there! Fight the good fight!
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We at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (CoFSM) support those of you wishing to include Intelligent Design in science curriculum. It is only through efforts like this that we will finally be able to teach the truth in schools. Since I am certain you would never presume that one religious view would be more valid for the ID model than another, I look forward to the day when all creation stories are taught equally in classrooms: Evolution, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, CoFSM, Buddhism, Norse, Greek, Roman … well, you get the idea. For too long we have catered to the agendas of godless scientists. No more I say!
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For too long we have let them run roughshod over us with their insistence on “evidence” and “peer review”. These are nothing more than the tools they use to keep out the truth. Sure, ID doesn’t have a single bit of scientific evidence to back it, but that’s the whole point! If we let these scientists continue to have their way, they will just go right on insisting that scientific theories be “testable”. Well, they can wrap their “scientific method” in a box and ship it to China! Faith is the future of science. Evidence? We don’t need no stinking evidence!
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Today evolution, tomorrow gravity and that whole heliocentric nonsense.
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Stay strong. You are not alone.”
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-OEJ
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It is stuff like what the Polk County school board is doing that leads me to believe Xtainity is dying.
Think about it, between the explanation of the modern cosmologists about the universe being 14.5 billion years old, they explanations from the evolutionary biologist about how homo sapiens was just the last of many intelligent hominid species and he emerged a scant 100,000 years ago. They explanations of the historical scholars that no evidence exists that the jews were ever captive in Egypt, and the freak shows of the child molesting Catholic church clergy, the cruising for gays hookers and/or gsy hookers of the fundamentalist, religion is looking like it explains little and improves our behaviors not at all.
This stuff is the dying gasp of the non-rationalists, already in Europe church attendance is at an all time low, and what is happenin there will spread here. It just smells like a superstition. It feels like a con job perpetated by the “great and powerful OZ” and more and more people are wising up. A site like this would have been impossible 20 years ago, and not jusst because the internet infrastructure was not in place. Not enough people would have had their thinking in a place that would allow them to openly laugh at the preposterous claims of the religionists. We’re there now, and this snowball will only get bigger as it continues to roll downhill.
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Hazel Sellers: “Polk County teaches the state standards for all our subjects and I believe will continue to do so.”
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How fucking vague is that? Old robotron here replies to me with just that sentence. That could mean a lot of things, like, “Intelligent Design is already the state standard, and we will teach that.” or “I don’t think Intelligent Design will be taught in science class, but it would be nice.” Keep in mind, this is one of the people who supported it. Politicians sure know how to say something without meaning anything, don’t they?
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@Kendrick–you’re right; it’s a political answer. But I have no doubt that she believes ID should be part of the state standards, but is just covering her ass.
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Here’s a thought (unworkable perhaps but fun to consider):
What if all the parents who don’t like ID (hopefully the majority) insisted on taking their kids out of the science class and home-schooling them in this particular subject, just like the nutjobs do. Only this time, the science teachers would go with them. The negative publcity for the school would, or should, be a huge embarrassment and earn the board much Kansas-like laughing stock points.
Then, of course, his Noodly Appendage would step in to touch all and save the day. Boy, would I have paid attention if science class had been about pirates, beer and strippers!
RAmen
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I still don’t understand how this hasn’t become a national debate. I mean, it is very simple; what sounds the most plausible:
1. Life as we know it changes to adapt itself to the all encompasing enviromental factors it is exposed to.
2. Life as we know it was made in all its current forms by an un-identifiable, all encompasing supreme force.
3. A flying bowl of Spaghetti created all of existence after a night of keg stands on the beer volcano and partying with Chef Boyardee (who died to save our dinner.)
Simple choice for me.
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@Boarg – I think it would be possible if the parents asked for the funding for their children to be refunded, as the school gets its funding based on the number of pupils, and then hired the science teachers as private tutors. As less of the funding would be spent on admin costs (one of the parents can arrange that) they could pay for guest speakers from versus fields to talk to the children.
The school would eventually collapse and then they could build a new one.
Every ones a winner apart from the god boxes who lose out entirely!
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Greetings all. I am a newbie to the site but had to express my concern to Polk county. I just emailed them this:
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I am writing today to both congratulate and express concern over the recent decision to include Intelligent Design in the science curriculum of Polk County. I agree that children should be exposed to all sides of a scientific debate, but it is my fear you may leave out a theory that is equally as valid as traditional Intelligent Design. I am of course referring to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I’m sure you all know that the theory of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has much greater support in the scientific community than traditional Intelligent Design. You would therefor be doing a grave disservice to the students of Polk County, and science in general, if you were to leave this ever so important theory out of your curriculum.
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If you wish to include an alternative to evolution in your classrooms, you must include all alternatives. It is unfair to the students if they are preferentially taught only one, they deserve to know all the theories out there and make their own conclusions at the end.
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I trust you will make the right decision concerning what is best for the children, and not yourselves. May His Noddley appendage touch you all.
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The more I immerse myself in this the more I am convinced we are in a period much like the “Great Awakening” which happened in 1740 pre-collonial America. During that period, believers lashed back at those who pursued their secular purposes and tried to build a life independent of the prevailing religious authority. For a time it was effective, church membership in Massachusetts rose and everyone became fearful of God;s punishments. The period witnessed one of the most appalling documents every committed to paper in the history of Amnerican literature–”"Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God”. But after a time the movement lost steam. The trend toward secularization continued and that is why America was given a constitution as its ruling document instead of a church covenant.
In short we becam a republic instead of a theocracy because the zealots lost out in the marketplace of ideas.
This stuff will die as well, everytime religious wackos raise the issue, it becomes a freak show, church attendance is declining annually. It’s at single digit levels in western Europe and at 20 percent and dropping in the USA. In short the overall trend favors secularism, and the religious wackos know it.
It explains why they are so shrill. People tend to become shrill when they are in the process of being marginalized.
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Ramen Neal….Ramen. I think I’ll send the entire Polk School Board a link to the Judgement Day Nova program on PBS’s website? Maybe that would keep them from pursuing this at all, knowing that they are doomed to fail AND not be re-elected when it is all over.
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Knowing several of the residents of Polk County personally, I am not surprised that they embrace the school board’s bias. Intelligence and independent thinking are not the ways of the people, so teaching ID will fit in well there.
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I just sent out an email to all the board members, and all who have not should do the same. Just remember: we are not disagreeing with there beliefs, we are just pointing out that other, more tasty theorys also need to be included.
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Everyone should E-Mail them if you have not already. ALL theorys need to be included, and ours is as valid as any.
Ramen
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Polk county is seriously one county next door to me. People in Florida are retarded.
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I don’t even have to email them… I could WALK my happy behind over there in full Pirate regalia and demand that Pastafarianism be taught as well… (Sounds like a pretty good idea, actually…)
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Here is the text of the e-mail I sent to Polk Co. school board (bored?).
Dear Y’all,
It is wonderful that you have figured out how to sneak creation beliefs into Polk County schools. Intelligent design, indeed.
Hopefully, the students will learn why humans have an arm that does not work quite as well as the other, why Roger Clemens, for example, can’t pitch equally well with either arm? Humans were obviously on the short end of funding during the design process. Compared to other animals, such as dogs, humans cannot hear as well, and by comparison our sense of smell is rather numb. Humans are among the slowest and weakest creatures on Earth.. How can humans have dominion over all the animals when quite a lot of them can catch, overpower, and eat even the fastest and strongest human? Perhaps the students will also learn why most birds have better vision than any human.
If we are the product of a design process, it is more likely that the designer was an idiot, or else it was a government project..
Otherwise, keep up the good work.
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Lots of good comments here, and snarky one’s. I now think I’ll write to them, and their local newspaper, saying things more along the lines of — having carefully read the article and having spoken to religious people I know about the subject, that I fully understand the preceived need to insert fundamentalist-inspired doctrine, poorly disguised as science, into science classes. On matters of how the physical world actually works Christianity has been in retreat for over 500 years and is at a point now where it is clear that every single statement the Bible makes about how the world works, from the sun revolving around the Earth to how babies are made, are wrong. All religions get a good measure of their legitimacy from their ability to explain natural phenomenon, …. and so on, ending with some of the best comments made here, and a link to this discussion.
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God bless you all! I was playing basketball and drinking some brews with FSM just the other day and he agrees with all of you. I, on the other hand, do not. How can you deny the TRUTH? It is written, in the good book that God created the world in 7 days, about 3.5 million days ago. Everything that is written in a book is the God’s truth, no prophet would be dishonest about something as serious as a book written by godly men (the holy spirit took over these primitive men – read your bible to support this). The bible is the word of God, not man, so you can trust it with your life (or go to hell – its your choice).
My brother, Mohammad, also agrees with me. Buhhda still doesn’t care either way but we are working on him.
Not all of us lesser gods were around 3.5 million days ago, we had a nice fishing trip and dad created the Earth. We were all pissed off cause it was going to be a joint-venture. I remember that day and regret having to get the universe’s biggest bass (it was a space bass that weighed 3442 gibbots – a heavenly unit of measurement). OH, i am still pissed about that cause I had some good names to hand out. I came back early cause I remembered that I left the iron on and didn’t want to burn down my hut (when your a deity you have to make sure your robe has no wrinkles or people won’t belief you). I found dad on that 7th day enjoying his creation and we got into a big fight. That is when we decided to kill me on this new planet in order to please this newly created man. What an jerk my dad can be if you question him.
So I urge you to disband your belief that evolution is real, it is not! I was there and saw it all. Now you can try to prove me wrong but remember that you will go to hell if you do (i am a god -haaha). So just delete all these files and cancel your domain names because its not working, nor ever work.
Go with God, not man
amen (not ramen you blasphemers)
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Sent just now to the Polk Co School Board…
Hello,
It’s interesting to me that a majority of you support teaching Intelligent Design (ID) in addition to evolution. As school board representatives your collective opinion is important enough to make headlines and presumably to set policy, but I doubt that many self-respecting science teachers would even half-heartedly teach ID. I certainly wouldn’t. Standards or no standards, a teacher never has more autonomy than when his/her door is closed and his/her students are paying attention. My tone of voice and eye-rolling could easily discredit the ID theory in the eyes of my students even if I agreed to teach it.
It may provide you some comfort, however, that I often remind my students of how evolution is driven by the “G-enerator O-f D-iversity” (subtle, right?). I challenge students to consider that nature, like matter, probably couldn’t have been set in motion without having been acted upon by some force. But, I’d never suggest that God, Allah, Buddha, Zeus, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster was any more of a plausible “generator of diversity” than the next. No matter what I believe spiritually, the first amendment clearly convinces me. The consideration of anything that is not based upon natural evidence and conjecture as a reasonable theory of origin has no place in any public school in the USA.
If you and/or your parent constituents disagree then there’s probably a market in your area for a lucrative private school. May the “generator of diversity” bring favorable traits to your progeny and their progeny and their progeny’s progeny.
NEA Member and Middle School Science Teacher,
buffal0b1ll
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How is that possible that every School Board for every county in the US can decide what will be teach in the classroom?. Not even in Colombia where I live this is possible. Academic curriculum’s should not be a local decision but a national or at least state policy this would prevent the need to fight this kind of initiatives.
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Has anyone e-mailed them to point out the legal implications if they were to introduce ID i.e. the fact that a court has already ruled that it violates statutes regarding the separation of Church and State?
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@Carlos – Unfortunately ever US state and school district can adjust the curriculum to a degree. There is a certain minimum to teach, but there is much flexibility. I believe that there is a federal minimum as well.
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@bullal0b1ll – They can teach ID, but they should then teach all of the creation stories/myths including the FSM.
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They can teach ID if they want BUT NOT IN SCIENCE. Aside from the fact that it promotes specially Christianity in schools (you really don’t think they are going to promote Hinduism, Buddism, Pastafarianism in ID do you?) ID is not a theory. For a hypothesis to be considered a theory it has to be able to be proven or disproven. Since neither is possible in this circumstance then I believe that ID should be relegated to a class where it belongs either philosophy or religious studies. Evolution is taught in science classes because it is a theory and has evidence to support it. As a theory evolution can also be disproven which in many cases. Such as just in the past few years determining that many dinosaurs in fact had feathers and the same bone structure as birds caused the scientific community to re-evaluate the claim that dinosaurs shared their traits with reptiles like being exothermic (which entails hypotheses like heart structure and activity level). Recently we have realized that birds and dinosaurs were more closely related then previously thought teaching us to re-evaluate the evolution of birds.
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in pork Conty floriduh we beleves in veri hi standurds of educatshun. its soo obvius that this
planut and us humens too was desined by the lord thy GOD and not thet monki Derwin. inteligunt design shud be teached in evry scool so the kids willl be protectd from impur thinkin. In pork conty if ya can shoot, gut a hawg, chew, spit and race a car you gots all the learnn ya kneed. leeve the evolushun to the egghed commies, who probabbly wrk fer the terrists enyhow. en anothir thing marrian yer sister shud not be aginst the law, cuz ar famly iz proof ther iz nuthin wrng wit that ether, besids my cuzzins is all way to ugly ifin ya now what i meen.
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Jimmy-bob — You really ARE from Polk County aren’t you???? We’re neighbors! You should dress up in pirate regalia and distribute propaganda at school board meetings with me.
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Ok guys, here it is… I am sending it via smail-mail with a pamhlet enclosed… (and emailing it to the members individually as well)… In case anyone is interested, the next board meeting is Monday.
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December 5, 2007
Polk County School Board
1915 S. Floral Ave.
P.O. Box 391
Bartow, FL 33831
Attn: Kay Fields, Tim Harris, Margaret Lofton, Hazel Sellers, Lori Cunningham, Frank O’Reilly, and Brenda Reddout
Dearest Polk County School Board,
My commendations to you on your decision to include Intelligent Design into your science curriculum! I cannot tell you how pleased it makes me to know that you are doing everything in your power to maintain Florida’s proud position as 29th in education out of our fifty states. As a graduate of Florida’s fine educational system, I have learned not only to speak in complete sentences, but also to read them as well – and it only took me eleven years!
I know many people will criticize you for allowing Intelligent Design to be taught in a science class, claiming it is simply mythology; I disagree. First of all, there are many families who cannot afford to send their children to a private Christian school, where they would most certainly be taught Intelligent Design in place of evolution. By teaching ID in your public schools, you would be providing a service to underprivileged Christian families, as well as to underprivileged non-Christian families who have not yet heard the Good Word.
In addition to the possibility of providing a good moral service to society, I wholeheartedly support the idea of offering controversial viewpoints as every day public school curriculum. For example, in elementary schools across the nation, children learn about the traditions of Thanksgiving. A very common lesson plan is making “A Thanksgiving Day Quilt,” upon which children write about or draw pictures of the things for which they are most thankful. Throughout this project, the children are taught about how the Pilgrims gave gifts of blankets to the Indians for Thanksgiving. The children are not, however, instructed to infect their quilts with chicken pox and give them to other children whose toys they wish to steal. The actual motive for quilt-giving is conveniently left out. This is merely one example of countless fibs and euphemisms delivered to our children on a daily basis. Is this wrong? Of course not! It gives the children motivation to go to (and to stay in) college! Look at all the stuff they haven’t learned yet! (Just wait until they find out George Washington bought his votes with booze!)
Teaching Intelligent Design as science is a fantastic idea; however, as I’m sure you are aware, there are many different theories of ID; to teach just one variation would not benefit students at all. I propose you teach at least two variations of Intelligent Design, which will give your students, about whom you care so much, a deeper and more profound knowledge of the origin of mankind. Please consider the following:
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster teaches us that, in the beginning, His Noodliness created a mountain, trees, and a midget. Sure, no one was around to see it, but it is explained to us (in great detail) in the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, our Holy Book. Pastafarianism also teaches that Pirates are the chosen people, global warming is caused by an ever-shrinking number of Pirates, Fridays are Holy Days, and Heaven contains a Beer Volcano and a Stripper Factory. You may be interested to know that there are over ten million Pastafarians worldwide, and that number is rapidly increasing. It is very possible that you may have Pastafarian families in your school district. It would be a shame to have their children confused by a differing theory of Intelligent Design being taught in their science class. For the sake of the children, please consider teaching our beliefs, as well.
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Please email them… it’s easy, feel free to steal this canned response:
Hello School Board Members,
I recently read that you’re supporting the teaching of “intelligent design” in schools in addition to evolution…
In regards to “intelligent design”, for a hypothesis to be considered a theory it has to be able to be proven or disproven. Neither is possible in the case of “intelligent design”. Evolution is taught in science classes because it is a theory and has evidence to support it. If you’re going to teach “intelligent design” as a science then you should require the teaching of Pastafarianism as well; how about astrology with astronomy?
The idea of teaching “intelligent design” in a classroom setting is so fundamentaly wrong I find it hard to believe this isn’t a joke. Please don’t indoctrinate future generations of American Youth with the nonsensical, faith-based garbage that is “intelligent design”. Keep religion out of the classroom.
Thanks for your time,
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I think we should also encourage the teaching of astrology along side astronomy.
I mean come on, who believes those crazy scientist anyways, Ms Cleo said they don’t know what they be talkin bout.
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Dear Polk County School Board,
I am delighted to learn that you have decided to include the theory of Intelligent Design in your science department. I am writing to ask if you had considered all theories that fall in this category. I hope you will be providing classrooms, faculty, and time to teach the theory of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as well. This is one of the fastest growing religions in the world and must be given a voice in childrens education on the same footing as ID or Evolution. We of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster do not call our theory Intelligent Design and must ask that you change our part of the course description to “Genius Design.” That is the only stipulation I must ask of you. We will of course resort to litigation or formal protest if our religion is not given the same respect and relevance as the aforementioned religion. The Church of the FSM has just as much if not more scientific evidence to back up its theories than ID. I know we cannot compete with evolution on a scientific basis but in this case we don’t have to, do we? I also had some personal wishes concerning classes that must be taught as science classes: The Wizard of Oz(because he also does not want you looking behind the curtain), fairies 101(I have pictures for proof), and Geography of Narnia.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely, Judas Iscariot.
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Discovery’s own manifesto of its aims, the Wedge Strategy Document, clearly outlines inception of ID into science as a strategy to teach religion.
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Wedge strategy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedge_strategy
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“The strategy was put forth in a Discovery Institute manifesto known as the Wedge Document,[1] which describes a broad social, political, and academic agenda whose ultimate goal is to “defeat [scientific] materialism” represented by evolution, “reverse the stifling materialist world view and replace it with a science consonant with Christian and theistic convictions”[2] and to “affirm the reality of God.”[3]
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Its goal is to “renew” American culture by shaping public policy to reflect conservative Christian, namely evangelical Protestant, values.[4]”
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So yes if beliefs are to be taught then all religious beliefs must be represented. I believe it is illegal to discriminate against any one religious faith.
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First off, I would like to thank all of you for taking a step in the right direction. Evolution certainly isn’t the only theory that explains how the plethora of life observed on our planet first originated.
However, I would like to express some concern that you have not taken all of the theories into consideration. I would like to bring your attention to our (pastafarians’) beliefs, that the world was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Now that you have taken a step away from evolution, I’m sure you will be willing to include other, alternative theories in your plans for your science curriculum.
If you would like more information, you can visit http://www.venganza.org. There you will find, among other things, a great many academic endorsements for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster.
Good luck,
Eli Barnett
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the “Academic Endorsements” is a hyperlink, apparently it got a bit screwed up in the sent main folder.
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Elected school board members are simply pushing the view that the majority of their god fearing constituents believe. Polls show that a large majority of Americans do not believe in evolution. These are the same people that as students trailed the rest of the world in Math/Science scores, and whose offspring do the same today. A mindset that embraces science for ipods and smart bombs but not for evolution and stem cells will in the end fail. Keep those scientist immigrants coming.
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Just sent an email off to them. I just tweaked the Open Letter. Here it is:
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To the good members of Polk County school board,
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I am writing you to congratulate those who recognize the importance of exposing students to different points of view. It is important that students have the ability to choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. To wit, I believe that Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. However, I am concerned that Intelligent Design excludes other, equally valid theories and students will be unable to make an informed choice. To that end, I propose the Polk County school board also teach the theory of creation as told in Pastafarianism.
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Pastafarianism (or FSMism) is the belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. He all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.
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I write you today to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. If Intelligent Design is not based on faith, but another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.
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We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, though none of us, of course, were around to see it but we have written accounts of it. However, we have lengthy written works explaining the details of His power. We are also one of the world’s fastest growing religions, at over 10 million strong. We tend to be very secretive, as many heretics claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. These misguided souls fail to understand that He uses his powers to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. However, this uninformed scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there manipulating the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail the reasons why He does this. He does not reveal himself to us mere humans, and of course, has the ability to pass though normal matter with ease.
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I am certain you recognize the importance of teaching the students of Polk County this alternate theory. It is imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, to demonstrate the respect demanded by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, our beliefs must be taught His chosen outfit of full pirate regalia. This is extremely important, and though I am unable to describe in detail the reasons for this, as I am afraid this letter is already becoming quite lengthy, and you are no doubt very busy people. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.
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Of particular interest to you may be that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct causal effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. Because followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster believe in the necessity of irrefutable evidence, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years, which demonstrates there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.
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I would like to thank you for your valuable time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I have adequately conveyed the great importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be more than happy to train the teachers of the Polk County school district this alternate theory. I eagerly await your response. Please note: should Polk County decide against teaching Pastafarianism in its classrooms, we will be forced to take legal action, as it would be a case of blatant discrimination. However, I doubt that such a thing will be necessary,as I firmly believe the Polk County school board sees the wisdom in giving the theories of evolution, Intelligent Design, and the Flying Spaghettig Monster equal time in your science classrooms, and with the guidance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, across the country, and eventually the world. I look forward to the day when one-third time is given for Intelligent Design, one-third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one-third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence. Thank you for your time and may you be touched by his Noodly Appendage.
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I’ve just e-mailed them this (think they will appreciate the irony?):
I’m happy to hear that Intelligent Design is being taught in your school district.
I think it is important that the word of God is put before reasoning or logic.
But I don’t think we should stop here! Biology it’s self should be removed form the curriculum! I once saw one of these so called “experts” on TV claiming that locusts have six legs! SIX LEGS!!!! This spits in the face of biblical teaching which clearly states that locusts only have 4 legs! It gets worse though! I recently caught a locust and was disgusted to see it had 6 legs! In direct defiance of the word of god! These insects have clearly been influenced by the Devil, who is surly trying to support these evolutionist traitors.
We must make sure that form day one that locusts have abandoned the teachings of the One True Lord! I propose that we simple ignore these extra legs and maybe ignore locusts altogether! At lest until they can be made to repent and have only 4 legs!
Then I heard that a bat was a flying mammal! A mammal that fly’s!? The Bible states that they are birds!! Ones again these “scientists” spit in the face of God!
Pepper pot moths and guppies are some other of the Lords creatures that have tuned against Him! They show adaptation to changes in there environment! This is clearly a deliberate attempt by them to help spread the lie of evolution!!!
I congratulate you on your attempts to stop this. I only hope that these offensive ideas are eventually banished from ALL schools.
But these so called “men of science” are continuing to find proof of their ridicules ideas! So I propos that the moral Christians attempt to take control of the government so we can outlaw these people! Then they would ether have to admit to the truth or be forced to repent by any means necessary!
If we could achieve this think how good the world would be with out these science types ruining Gods plans by curing diseases, ending hunger and trying to “improve” the lives of their fellow man!
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@Starbuckaneer–if you do go to Polk County in pirate regalia, bring somebody with you to get pictures! It’s apparent these board members need to see the sauce (as opposed to the light) of FSMism. And you have the convenience of being geographically close to bring these lost souls into the bowl (not fold).
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@Pluto – You give me hope that I’m not a crazyily ranting semi-bored weirdo after all. It could work. Nothing gets at the fundies like someone demanding their money back.
RAmen to you, my fellow pirate.
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Here is my ‘entry’
Dear Polk County School Board members
I am delighted that you are considering ignoring Judge Jones ruling in Kitzmiller v Dover School District on the question of whether teaching Intelligent Design is in violation of the First amendment of our Constitution. As you probably know Judge Jones ruled that :
“The proper application of both the endorsement and Lemon tests to the facts of this case makes it abundantly clear that the Board’s ID Policy violates the Establishment Clause. In making this determination, we have addressed the seminal question of whether ID is science. We have concluded that it is not, and moreover that ID cannot uncouple itself from its creationist, and thus religious, antecedents.”
In short, the Judge ruled that Intelligent Design is so bound in religion that it is the same as teaching religion and therefore violates the first amendment.
But I digress, as I said I am delighted that you have taken up the question of teaching alternative theories to the origin of the universe. I believe that the reason the judge was able to rule against the Dover District is because they were only presenting a single alternative theory to evolution. If you do in fact choose to add Intelligent Design to you curriculum, I would respectfully suggest that you include other competing theories as well.
While it would be ideal to teach every single theory of the origin of the universe, we all know that would be impractical. To that end I would suggest that you start with the major theories. Along with Intelligent Design, I would suggest that you also teach as science these theories of the origin of the universe: Hindu, Buddhist, Shinto, Native American, Zoroastrian and Wiccan. In addition you should probably include at least some traditional African theories. I think you can safely ignore the ‘classic theories’ such as the Greek, Roman and Old Norse as they have so few adherents today that you are not very likely to receive many complaints, but you should check with you legal advisers to be sure.
In closing let me applaud your courage in ignoring Judge Jones ruling and to continue your quest to teach our children ALL competing theories of the origin of the universe.
Respectfully yours
Nicole Syrlik
“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” – Douglas Adams
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@Pluto-Excellent, I laughed my ass off on that one!
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