Spotted by Nick in Australia:
fsm crossing
Published by Bobby Henderson November 29th, 2007 in General FSM news and sightings. 67 Comments
67 Responses to “fsm crossing”
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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GOLD??
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Silver. Ha.
I want a sign like that, here in Canada.
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Bronze
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Gotta love the Aussies.
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That is the best road sign ever.
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Where in Australia is what i’m wondering. I really want to see that one! I’m going to have to do that myself.
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I wonder why the fsm needs a crossing sign… he can pass through normal matter with ease and has enough noodley appendages to stop anything with ease. Any thoughts?
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Surely he would just float over the road?
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Australia definately deserves time off from global warming with traffic signs like that.
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And on a reflective note, I think it must be becoming easier for non-believers to come out if signs like that are put up and not immediately destroyed or removed altogether. Good stuff. I look forward to the time when such a sign could be put up in Ireland (or the US bible belt) and be left untouched.
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hmmm, nice photoshop. Needs a few more blemishes near the top of the sign.
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And it seems people actually pay attention to those signs. To date, the Australian Board of Statistics has absolutely no record of any FSM roadkill.
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St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Number Crunching
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Hahahaahahaha…Hey, maybe floating around is tiring (spelling?)…have you ever tried it?
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What medal did I get…
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Daaamn! none…well…cheesecake for me!
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Nice piece of work mate :)
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There is a street sign not to far from here that has a hoola-hooping deer, but I think the FSM crossing is cooler.
Someone photoshop that into the pic with the FSM opening the gate… please?
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What comes after bronze?
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I want one! I would put it in front of my house. I wonder if the FSM knew about the sign, would he come to my house to walk across the road? Hmm…
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@StJason – A hula hooping deer sign? For real?
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wow, just wow
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WOW! AWESOME! Power to our noodly beloved!!!! RAMEN!!!!
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Yeah, I bet the FSM would just go through all of the cars and/or float above them. If you look carefully however, the sign isn’t warning you that you might break your car because the FSM is crossing, it’s just letting you know that He is. The way I see it is this
Deer crossing: slow down
FSM crossing: do nothing
Lawyer crossing: speed up
Yar!
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Hahaha, that’s great.
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hahahahhahahaha Fundy crossing: curse them!
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oh damn pages, I thought I had bronze :(
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hahahahhahahhaha
Sorry Ande
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oh my!
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Hehe, cool!
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Good one, huh?
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im a christian and i love FSM!!!!
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I am an atheist and I love FSM
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Think we have something in common SAM
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Imagine the Aussie authorities trying to warn drivers for still too unfamiliar sightings that might distract them, and there they stand still near such road sign, waiting for the FSM to cross. Road blockage ahead in Oz!
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@SAM
Welcome to the church of the FSM. It’s a pleasant change from what christians so often spew on this site.
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If He’s crossing roads in Australia, then I’d better go! I wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity.
RAmen
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I just heard the the state of south dakota is removing scientific references at their wildlife department that contradict the bible.
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I bet you could track the FSM around the world. We just have to follow the signs. or mabye he wants us to follow the signs so that we think we’re getting close but we’re really not.
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Mmm. Methinks a trip to the craft store is in order. Anyone have a clue where to get/make a FSM stencil?
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nice as hell i love it. can i buy one?
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@ JC:
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Fella – that’s scary!
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@JC–I’m not surprised. Wasn’t South Dakota going for a *total* ban on abortions as well, since some fundementalists were pushing for it?
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Cool sign!
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@Teremari Nov 29th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
“I wonder why the fsm needs a crossing sign… he can pass through normal matter with ease and has enough noodley appendages to stop anything with ease. Any thoughts?”
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Weell the sign could be there to warn the kangaroos, wombats, koalas and drop bears so as they don’t get spooked and run out in front of a car if the FSM passes through them?
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@BlackFeathered Wench Nov 30th, 2007 at 5:26 am
“Mmm. Methinks a trip to the craft store is in order. Anyone have a clue where to get/make a FSM stencil?”
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Hi Black Feathered Wench
You might find something on the materials page:
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http://www.venganza.org/materials
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@JC
“I just heard the the state of south dakota is removing scientific references at their wildlife department that contradict the bible.”
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Yeah, something similar happened at the Grand Canyon. Park rangers were told to tell tourists the Canyon is 6000 years old. Sigh. Oh well, with creationists muckin up education in the US, we ’slow’ people in Europe can at least keep up :).
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@DPG–all I can say then is thank FSM that you “slow” Europeans are out there. We in the US need all the help we can get!
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@DPG
Really? They did that? That’s retarded.
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Kansas Schools To Teach Intelligent Numbers
by Sandhya Kunavarasaji
KANSAS CITY, KS – With many Christian Organizations feeling optimistic about a victory in the Intelligent Design case currently underway in Pennsylvania federal court, some groups have started introducing other faith-based reasoning into other areas of the school curriculum.
“We are proud to announce that public schools in Kansas have, for the past week, been teaching Intelligent Numbers,” said Mark Rettler, spokesman for Christian Reasoning and Posits, the organization that created the concept of Intelligent Numbers.
“You see,” said Mr. Rettler, “numbers are far too complex to have occurred naturally – I know I never understood what my math teachers were trying to explain to me – so there must be an Intelligent Numberer out there who created them.”
“Exactly,” said Ervin Young, Supreme Director of Pius Individuals for Theological Learning and Undeniable Science. “Just as nature reflects an Intelligent Designer, numbers reflect an Intelligent Numberer. Take, for instance, 1+1=2. The answer is always ‘2′. That’s amazing! That kind of perfection could not exist without an Intelligent Numberer. The Pythagorean Theorem? Way to coincidental and perfect without the backing of an Intelligent Numberer. Pi? A reflection of the infinite intelligence of the Intelligent Numberer. Sin? Cosine? Tangent? Well, not even Intelligent Numbers can explain those mathematical concepts – we suspect that ‘mathematicians’ just made them up. Not to mention the way ’sin’ is spelled”
Dr. Thaddeus Maxwell, Professor of Difficult Mathematics and Other Really Hard Things at M.I.T. replied, “While it’s true that…”
“You see!” said Mr. Young. “M.I.T. agrees with us!”
Melissa Howard, the eighth grade math teacher at East Kansas City Middle School is happy to be teaching Intelligent Numbers to her class of 23 students.
“Oh yeah,” said Ms. Howard. “Last year parents pressured the school board to have me start teaching algebra to my students. Algebra! In the eighth grade! I had to work real hard. It sucked. But now, with Intelligent Numbers, teaching math has become very easy. A pleasure, in fact.”
“I just love it!” exclaimed Amanda Smith, a student in Ms. Howard’s class. “Last year I started division, and it was really hard, and this year, with algebra, things were even worse, but now that I know numbers are created by the Intelligent Numberer above and I can put that little fish symbol as the answer on every math test I have – It’s great!”
Mark Robins, another eighth grader at East Kansas City Middle School said, “Yeah, last year science was hard, but it got real easy after I learned about Intelligent Design. And this year, math was hard, but it got real easy after I learned about Intelligent Numbers. I’m hoping next year, before I start high school, they discover Intelligent Grammar – I can never remember the difference between adjectives and adverbs.
CRaP and PITY US are, in fact, working on a new concept – Intelligent History.
Mr. Rettler said, “We hope, that by this time next year, Kansas schools will be teaching Intelligent History to all of its students. Intelligent History will teach the history of humanity as it really happened – according to the Bible.”
Mr. Young continued, “We intend to wrap Intelligent Design, Intelligent Numbers and Intelligent History into an exciting, new, complete school curriculum where it is the only thing students will have to learn. We call this new curriculum Intelligent Intelligence. When communities use the Intelligent Intelligence curriculum, they will save well over 99% – or, as we like to say, ‘little fish symbol’ – on their education expenses because students will only have to stay in school for one year.”
“That’s right,” concluded Mr. Rettler. “Intelligent Intelligence is also very patriotic. With kids in school for only one year, they will be able to get into the workforce much sooner than they can now. This will be a big boost to America’s economy. Just think of it – families with four, five, and even more children all earning full-time wages. Intelligent Intelligence is good for education, good for your family, and good for America. Amen.”
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Very funny. I liked that newspaperh.
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@DutchPastaGuy – That’s stupid. I don’t get why the rangers had to tell them it is 6000 years old. I think something skipped over me…
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I find that a little hard to believe too. I could understand fundies telling the rangers to do it or they will burn in hell, but for the rangers to actual do it? Unless they have infiltrated the Rangers!? (sinister music plays)
DPG do you have a news link?
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@Pluto and MPS.
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I couldn’t find the link I was after [about the Grand Canyon] but this one explains it well…
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2006_12/010493.php
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The Young Earth Creationists seem to see the Grand Canyon as proof of bod’s existence and especially validates the flood hypothesis.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/06/science/sciencespecial2/06canyon.html
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Most of the controversy centres on a book by Tom Vail. Grand Canyon: A different view.
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The guy even has his own Ministry there…
http://www.canyonministries.com/
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Now – can I get three links into one post – usually 2 is the limit…
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I expect he COULD float over the road, but he likes to ese if anyone is stupid enough to try and hit him.
woe betide the man who get in a fight with the FSM
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@ Wench.Nikkiee:
But I am le lazy! Ah well, I suppose I could actually make my own. Can’t be much harder than a Jollyfish pumpkin.
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As for the Grand Canyon thingamabob, that’s absurd. I can see having both options available, but sticking to an obviously religious view? That’s offensive.
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why did the FSM cross the road?
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To get to the midget on the other side.
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why?
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haha
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Well, if *you* saw a midgit on the other side of the road, what would you do? Hmm?
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Regards from Mosterio, Golician Cultural Sphere. We are pastarians, too.
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Did they get by with it?
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Aww Man. I live in Australia, and I’ve never seen a road sign that awesome before. I’m sick of just seeing signs for Kangaroo and Wombat and Platypus crossings!
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This discussion is colored by years of historical baggage. Christians have been trying (and succeeding in many cases) to impose their religious dogma via the public school system in the U.S. “Intelligent Design” is just another attempt to use public institutions as a means to that end. It’s not that people who give credence to proven science are bitter about these attempts but that they see them for what they are. Have you ever been forced to pray or recite passages from the Bible against your will? As an adult the answer is probably “no”. But as a fifth grader, as in my case, this in fact happened. I was even told by the teacher that the Supreme Court (of which I knew nothing) had just made it illegal to pray in school but she (the teacher) was going to do it anyway. She told us that she would pick a student at random to recite the 23rd psalm from memory each morning and that we had better know it by heart. To this day I know the 23rd psalm. Later I realized that she called on the same students all the time and figured out that this was to reduce the risk of parent complaints due to the fact that she knew that those kids’ parents wouldn’t complain. It is this kind of abuse of the public school system that I have problems with. Fine! Take your kids to church but don’t force my kids to be exposed to institutionalized religious indoctrination that has been funded by my tax dollars! I’m old enough to remember what it was like before school organized school prayer was banned from public schools. Don’t go there again!
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why isn’t there a FSM Crossing sign in every town with a Pastafarian in it in the world? This needs to become wide-spread!
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I am a (public) High School graduate, and I was taught Intelligent Design in my Sophomore biology class. I always thought that Intelligent Design had nothing to with science. Because of the FSM my life has improved in many ways. Yay! All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
RAmen.
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Congratulations Tina! Hooray for knowledge!
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@Tina–I had a geology teacher who was a YEC and believed in ID. She made it her mission to explain why evolution was wrong. She was a very nice lady, and besides the young earth/creationism views, a good teacher. I wouldn’t have cared what her religious views were, but I feel it was wrong of her to try and teach them to the class in that manner. I can see a science teacher saying, “The theory of evolution is the one best supported by the observable evidence. There are other views out there, including ID, UD, and FSM, though these are just a few. If you would like, I can give you some websites, books, etc. if you are interested. But these views will not be discussed in detail, nor will they be on the test.” I have no problem with a teacher addressing these different views in this or a similar manner, what I have a problem with are those who believe that they need to and MUST be taught.
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Evolution is supposed to be part of the curricula where I live but it turns out that the teachers just skip it anyway. I live in a VERY Christian town, I just moved here about a year ago from Philadelphia(big difference). So, anyway, I found this out the other day and was pretty pissed. I’m making sure that I move before my son goes to school. I’m shocked that they don’t teach ID here, I’m sure they will soon.
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@ashley ID isn’t the only possibility, evolution is much more likely, why do you think shulls of native people from each continent look different? Did God put them there to fool us?
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i can tell you, it is a great pleasure to live in europe – no teacher would ever think of teaching ID in science lessons – he or she would loose his/her job immediately.
so why be a pastafarian? well, why not?
greez
enzo
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I love this sign, whichever city put that up should get millions from the UN, i would gladly support that (i am not from there by the way)
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