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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
@JC
“I just heard the the state of south dakota is removing scientific references at their wildlife department that contradict the bible.”
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Yeah, something similar happened at the Grand Canyon. Park rangers were told to tell tourists the Canyon is 6000 years old. Sigh. Oh well, with creationists muckin up education in the US, we ’slow’ people in Europe can at least keep up :).
@DPG–all I can say then is thank FSM that you “slow” Europeans are out there. We in the US need all the help we can get!
@DPG
Really? They did that? That’s retarded.
Kansas Schools To Teach Intelligent Numbers
by Sandhya Kunavarasaji
KANSAS CITY, KS - With many Christian Organizations feeling optimistic about a victory in the Intelligent Design case currently underway in Pennsylvania federal court, some groups have started introducing other faith-based reasoning into other areas of the school curriculum.
“We are proud to announce that public schools in Kansas have, for the past week, been teaching Intelligent Numbers,” said Mark Rettler, spokesman for Christian Reasoning and Posits, the organization that created the concept of Intelligent Numbers.
“You see,” said Mr. Rettler, “numbers are far too complex to have occurred naturally - I know I never understood what my math teachers were trying to explain to me - so there must be an Intelligent Numberer out there who created them.”
“Exactly,” said Ervin Young, Supreme Director of Pius Individuals for Theological Learning and Undeniable Science. “Just as nature reflects an Intelligent Designer, numbers reflect an Intelligent Numberer. Take, for instance, 1+1=2. The answer is always ‘2′. That’s amazing! That kind of perfection could not exist without an Intelligent Numberer. The Pythagorean Theorem? Way to coincidental and perfect without the backing of an Intelligent Numberer. Pi? A reflection of the infinite intelligence of the Intelligent Numberer. Sin? Cosine? Tangent? Well, not even Intelligent Numbers can explain those mathematical concepts - we suspect that ‘mathematicians’ just made them up. Not to mention the way ’sin’ is spelled”
Dr. Thaddeus Maxwell, Professor of Difficult Mathematics and Other Really Hard Things at M.I.T. replied, “While it’s true that…”
“You see!” said Mr. Young. “M.I.T. agrees with us!”
Melissa Howard, the eighth grade math teacher at East Kansas City Middle School is happy to be teaching Intelligent Numbers to her class of 23 students.
“Oh yeah,” said Ms. Howard. “Last year parents pressured the school board to have me start teaching algebra to my students. Algebra! In the eighth grade! I had to work real hard. It sucked. But now, with Intelligent Numbers, teaching math has become very easy. A pleasure, in fact.”
“I just love it!” exclaimed Amanda Smith, a student in Ms. Howard’s class. “Last year I started division, and it was really hard, and this year, with algebra, things were even worse, but now that I know numbers are created by the Intelligent Numberer above and I can put that little fish symbol as the answer on every math test I have - It’s great!”
Mark Robins, another eighth grader at East Kansas City Middle School said, “Yeah, last year science was hard, but it got real easy after I learned about Intelligent Design. And this year, math was hard, but it got real easy after I learned about Intelligent Numbers. I’m hoping next year, before I start high school, they discover Intelligent Grammar - I can never remember the difference between adjectives and adverbs.
CRaP and PITY US are, in fact, working on a new concept - Intelligent History.
Mr. Rettler said, “We hope, that by this time next year, Kansas schools will be teaching Intelligent History to all of its students. Intelligent History will teach the history of humanity as it really happened - according to the Bible.”
Mr. Young continued, “We intend to wrap Intelligent Design, Intelligent Numbers and Intelligent History into an exciting, new, complete school curriculum where it is the only thing students will have to learn. We call this new curriculum Intelligent Intelligence. When communities use the Intelligent Intelligence curriculum, they will save well over 99% - or, as we like to say, ‘little fish symbol’ - on their education expenses because students will only have to stay in school for one year.”
“That’s right,” concluded Mr. Rettler. “Intelligent Intelligence is also very patriotic. With kids in school for only one year, they will be able to get into the workforce much sooner than they can now. This will be a big boost to America’s economy. Just think of it - families with four, five, and even more children all earning full-time wages. Intelligent Intelligence is good for education, good for your family, and good for America. Amen.”
Very funny. I liked that newspaperh.
@DutchPastaGuy - That’s stupid. I don’t get why the rangers had to tell them it is 6000 years old. I think something skipped over me…
I find that a little hard to believe too. I could understand fundies telling the rangers to do it or they will burn in hell, but for the rangers to actual do it? Unless they have infiltrated the Rangers!? (sinister music plays)
DPG do you have a news link?
@Pluto and MPS.
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I couldn’t find the link I was after [about the Grand Canyon] but this one explains it well…
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2006_12/010493.php
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The Young Earth Creationists seem to see the Grand Canyon as proof of bod’s existence and especially validates the flood hypothesis.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/06/science/sciencespecial2/06canyon.html
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Most of the controversy centres on a book by Tom Vail. Grand Canyon: A different view.
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The guy even has his own Ministry there…
www.canyonministries.com/
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Now - can I get three links into one post - usually 2 is the limit…
I expect he COULD float over the road, but he likes to ese if anyone is stupid enough to try and hit him.
woe betide the man who get in a fight with the FSM
@ Wench.Nikkiee:
But I am le lazy! Ah well, I suppose I could actually make my own. Can’t be much harder than a Jollyfish pumpkin.
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As for the Grand Canyon thingamabob, that’s absurd. I can see having both options available, but sticking to an obviously religious view? That’s offensive.
why did the FSM cross the road?
To get to the midget on the other side.
why?
haha
Well, if *you* saw a midgit on the other side of the road, what would you do? Hmm?
Regards from Mosterio, Golician Cultural Sphere. We are pastarians, too.
Did they get by with it?
Aww Man. I live in Australia, and I’ve never seen a road sign that awesome before. I’m sick of just seeing signs for Kangaroo and Wombat and Platypus crossings!
This discussion is colored by years of historical baggage. Christians have been trying (and succeeding in many cases) to impose their religious dogma via the public school system in the U.S. “Intelligent Design” is just another attempt to use public institutions as a means to that end. It’s not that people who give credence to proven science are bitter about these attempts but that they see them for what they are. Have you ever been forced to pray or recite passages from the Bible against your will? As an adult the answer is probably “no”. But as a fifth grader, as in my case, this in fact happened. I was even told by the teacher that the Supreme Court (of which I knew nothing) had just made it illegal to pray in school but she (the teacher) was going to do it anyway. She told us that she would pick a student at random to recite the 23rd psalm from memory each morning and that we had better know it by heart. To this day I know the 23rd psalm. Later I realized that she called on the same students all the time and figured out that this was to reduce the risk of parent complaints due to the fact that she knew that those kids’ parents wouldn’t complain. It is this kind of abuse of the public school system that I have problems with. Fine! Take your kids to church but don’t force my kids to be exposed to institutionalized religious indoctrination that has been funded by my tax dollars! I’m old enough to remember what it was like before school organized school prayer was banned from public schools. Don’t go there again!
why isn’t there a FSM Crossing sign in every town with a Pastafarian in it in the world? This needs to become wide-spread!