For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.
But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.
In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’
I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.
Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.
And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!
Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?
RAmen
With deep respect,
Zhang
“Peter Popoff
Nov 26th, 2007 at 4:54 am
Hi Jr.”
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Hi, don’t see you much. Actually it’s probably more like don’t see me much since I don’t come here as often but you get the point.
RAmen
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Why Pixel Pete? Why?
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I live in FLORIDA! (Sure, the Lightning won a Stanley Cup… but as far as I’m concerned, they still SUCK)
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WHY DO YOU ALL REFER TO THE FSM AS A HE?
Come on, I’m male, but that doesn’t mean that the FSM has to be called a he.
The FSM could be a she, or a transvestite or an IT or just plain fsm. I know it’s habitual but think before referring to the FSM as a he all the time…
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I never say he…I think that I usually refer as FSM
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@Tagliatelli Priest: I think it has something to to do with all his noodly appendages…
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Finally a religion that makes perfect sense, long may his noodliness touch me! (member of the FSM number 1000001.)
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The Vikings beat the Giants.
Evolution:
Cavemen -> Vikings -> Pirates -> Lumberjacks (according to Maddox).
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I call this a win.
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@Ubi Dubium
My bad. My reference was to the “Swimming Unicorn of wonder” as posted by Zhang and I made a reference to all Unicorns. My deepest aplogies if I offended the followers of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (IPU), althouth I too am outraged at all my missing socks as I had once believed the sock gnomes had taken them. In light of new evidence, I see that most likely it was the IPU involved in sock theft at my house as several missing pairs of socks could not be located, leaving only but a trail of pink stained clothing and underwear. If I have offended the IPU, how does one appease her? Also, whats with her underwear fetish lately? My wife still claims it the goblins that go after her missing pairs of underwear!
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Thanks for the link. I am more knowledgeable on the IPU than ever before.
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Congrats on finding a religion to call your own, Zhang
Your Pastafarian brothers and sisters (no matter how many there are) are also happy for you
May the FSM feed and keep you
R’amen
PS how many of us are there because i get asked this question all the time
someone should E-mail the prophet Bobby Henderson
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@Pete – welcome! May you rejoice in the abundance of strippers and cold beer!
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@everyone – I am quite happy to see that my calling an element has caught on. Do not fear the time when we run out of elements. Taking a quick look on wikipedia it runs up to 118 and after the 118th message not many bother to call any glory with it. For the even hundreds you can of course call something, but pasta dishes and componds are surely enough.
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PS: this is post #61, hence I call Promethium — the only other radioactive element besides technetium which is followed by chemical elements that have stable isotopes. I only call it to illustrate the sillyness of calling something on post #61, besides the educational reasons.
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Samarium!
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Information on the IPU and elements, a link to a news article about a religious conference in which the FSM will be heavily discussed–tell me, what would we do without Google or Wikipedia? They’ve only been around for a couple years, but honestly, I can’t remember how got through life without them.
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Yttrium
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Welcome to the club Zhang! Have a bowl of pasta and rejoice in our fountains or mirth and gaiety!!! Oh…wait that didn’t come out right….
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Hi Zhang. Well done on making a stand. It’s a sad state of affairs that the religious look down on atheists for some reason. They actually prefer you to be of an opposing faith as opposed to being of no faith at all. It’s comparable to an insane asylum; all the patients suffer from different mental illnesses but all of them put themselves apart from the doctors and nurses who treat them.
That’s us, the doctors and nurses. We point out the problems with them and try to help them become sane. However all the other inmates tell them that we are wrong so only a few ever get the help they desperately need.
I hope you like the analogy, thought it fit in quite well with your “pitied the Christians for their insanity” comment.
Welcome aboard and feel free to post. Opinions are always welcome (even from the god boxes, as it gives us something to do and we don’t believe in the same censorship they show to us on their sites. To do other wise would make us facists).
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@ValkyriePariah–considering the people who post here, I think your comment came out quite right, as in quite accurate. Right as in moral, perhaps not. But who needs morality anyway? It just gets in the way of good, dirty fun.
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We are all proud of our loose morals after all.
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@storm petrel–yeah, notice we don’t have “Commandments,” we have “I Really Rather You Didn’ts.” And those are described in Wikipedia as a loose moral code. We really don’t come much looser. ;-)
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I just found this article at http://www.uexpress.com/newsoftheweird. It’s short, so here it is in its entirety:
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“The Catholic archbishop overseeing a convent near Bari, Italy, closed it down in August after the mother superior was attacked and beaten by her two nuns, who were angry at her authoritarian ways. [Agence France-Presse, 10-1-07]” (Very Christian of them, don’t you think?)
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Maybe they were a silent order and the two nuns didn’t see any other way of complaining?
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@storm petrel – At least I know that I’m proud of my loose morals and sometimes my lack of guilt.
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Notice that I say sometimes.
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@PacificPam- “At least I know that I’m proud of my loose morals and sometimes my lack of guilt.”
Like when you Ramshank for me?
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@storm petrel – “Maybe they were a silent order and the two nuns didn’t see any other way of complaining?”
They could have tried flipping her off. Maybe it was a sex game gone wrong?
(I’m sure the cat fighting nuns in my head are way hotter than the real ones.)
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Also what’s wrong with loose morals? Better than being all repressed and ashamed all the time. I think that’s one of the big reasons the god boxes get unhappy. We can have all the fun we want wile they are made to feel bad about all the nice things in life. They can’t even crack one off without it being a sin (every sperm is sacred after all).
It’s like in Moral Oral “If you get any pleasure out of it then it’s probably a sin!”
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Have you thought that another way to put loose morals – say for instance for a cv – might be flexible, adjustble or can-do? Makes it sound like a marketable skill, eh.
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Oh yeah, one more thing on the elements issue… I have just counted the number of the post, not the number of posters. So if it would work like this “gold, silver, bronze” mechanism, we have no trouble at all since we will hardly have more than a hundred posters on a thread. It is much easier to just count the post number though once you get past say 20ish.
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@Pluto – RRRRRAMSHAAAAAAAANK!
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@Pluto (Not sorry at all!) & PacificPam
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Even on the off chance that the christians or jews or muslims are right about this moral stuff, keep in mind that one goes to hell for committing a sin anyway. So if you commit a sin once, can it get any worse if you repeat it? So if you have ramshanked (what romance in a word) once, you might as well keep doing it over and over. No point feeling sorry about it before the last moment, if you remember to repent right at the end.
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@Cottura 5 Minuti – I have never said that their morals are wrong…anybody can do what they want to do, I will not follow their moral standards…if they think that they are going to hell because of some crazy ramshank…well, then don’t do it….as for myself…I will never ever regret anything I do with my Puto…
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Now…RRRRAMMMSHAAANK
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And Ramen
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@PacificPam – Ramshank! Ramshank!
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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@PacificPam – you haven’t said that christian/jewish/muslim morals are wrong, but I have! And though I would agree with you that anyone can do what they want, they might still get arrested and sentenced to prison if they stone to death the blasphemers and adulterers etc.
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But as far as ramshanking is considered, have fun. I’ll be rooting for you (hehe, pun inteded). I hope it’s better than it sounds, because ramshank quite frankly is the nastiest name I have ever heard for intercourse.
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@Cotura 5 Minuti – I didn’t even know what ramshank meant until this morning….hahahahaha I think it is a funny sounding word…like twat or cunt…they mean nothing to me, but sound really fun…I giggle…
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*giggling*
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From the urban dictionary: (my favorite definition)
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2. ramshank
11 up, 2 down
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To engage in intercourse, to have sex, to fuck like stoned test bunnies.
Oh sexy Atomic kitten ladies, I would love to ramshank with you!
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@PacificPam – neither did I. I knew what ram meant and also shank, and had a fairly good idea of what ramshank might mean when I read the word in context as originally posted by Pluto. And it does sound funny.
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Hey, everybody needs a good ramshanking every now and again. If not, you get all repressed and unhappy thinking you’re going to hell. So, fuck like stoned bunnies (possibly while being stoned yourself) and live to the fullest. RAmen!
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@rmw – that must have been the best adviced I have ever received in my whole life!
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@Cottua 5 Minuti – See? hahahahahahaha Now go tell your GF you want to RRRRAAAAMSHANK with her!
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RRRRamen!
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I came in at the wrong time for that one…
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@Momi Pink Shoes – wrong time for what? Ramshank?
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@Tagliatelli Priest – It’s a “he” because of his balls and appendages. I suppose he is rather androgynous though.
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@PPam – Yes, Ramshank. Imagine walking into a room with someone screaming “Rammmmshannnkkk with herrrr!”
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It’s kind of like walking into a bomb only with less consequences.
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I think your brain might go numb for a couple of minutes!
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My brain’s always been numb…
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@Momi Pink Shoes – do you think that is a funny word?
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My brain was numb last night
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Ramshank?
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Hell yes.
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Oh…I was watching a documental on the history channel about the pagan religions in England…that was awesome…! dammit…my words..they fucking hide all the time…
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@Momi Pink Shoes – Me too! Is english your first language?
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It is.
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I feel happy today!
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*round of grog for whomever wants some at 9.30 in the morning*
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I know I do…
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I feel happy too! Usually Wednesdays are horrible (except that it is hump day and that’s always a good thing :-)) but this Wednesday is different…Maybe this is just Friday in a mask?
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