For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist at Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.

But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.

In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’

I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.

Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.

And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!

Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?

RAmen

With deep respect,
Zhang

Purchase the Gospel

An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American

170 Responses to “For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist”

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121 PacificPam Nov 29th, 2007 at 1:48 am

@Momi Pink Shoes - hahahahahahahahahahahaha =) good one!
122 Pixel Pete Nov 29th, 2007 at 3:28 am

Let’s take a short trip in my Delorean to respond to a comment from a ways back in this thread!
PacificPam
Nov 26th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
Why Pixel Pete? Why?
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There are a couple of big reasons. First the topics were all closed so I couldn’t actually come here and second all the fundies left :(
Not to mention the old timers such as myself aren’t around here anymore(My wenches are nowhere to be seen!). Can you believe it’s been over a year since I’ve been posting comments in these waters?
RAmen
123 Wench Nikkiee Nov 29th, 2007 at 4:07 am

Hi Pixel :)
“Not to mention the old timers such as myself aren’t around here anymore. My wenches are nowhere to be seen!.”
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Humph! I’m around!! :) Not so much at the moment I know, but I have a fair bit going on off the net. :(
124 SaucyWench Nov 29th, 2007 at 5:35 am

I’m around, and I’m a wench. I love saying that. It’s really rather freeing.
125 SaucyWench Nov 29th, 2007 at 5:38 am

Hey, I’m a wench, and I’m around, sort of anyway.
126 SaucyWench Nov 29th, 2007 at 5:39 am

Well, shoot, I didn’t mean to post twice. I thought I lost the first one.
127 Pixel Pete Nov 29th, 2007 at 5:55 am

Thrice to be precise :D
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It’s good to see my wenches haven’t left. But the point still stands that a lot of people have gone and it seems like a whole new place to me.
RAmen
128 Red DutchPasta Wench Nov 29th, 2007 at 10:16 am

Pixel, think of it this way: there is a whole load of fresh wenches available to someone as charming as you ;)))))
129 PacificPam Nov 29th, 2007 at 4:16 pm

@SaucyWench - Bobadil was looking for one the other day! I thik you’ll make him happy.
130 Momi Pink Shoes Nov 29th, 2007 at 5:15 pm

I told my boyfriend about “Ramshank”. He didn’t find it as funny as I did until I said it like this “rrrrammmmshannnkk!”. Then we both started doing it.
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Ahh, hail the FSM (and Pluto/PPam) for entertaining us with that blessed word =D Ramen!
131 Momi Pink Shoes Nov 29th, 2007 at 5:15 pm

When I say “doing it”, I meant saying the word…not…ya know.
132 rmw Nov 29th, 2007 at 5:50 pm

@Momi Pink Shoes–the fact that you had to clarify that makes me laugh. Just goes to show what a bunch of perverts we are. :-D
133 Jennyanydots Nov 29th, 2007 at 5:53 pm

@ rmw - or at least that Momi believes we’re all a bunch of perverts. Wonder what gave her that idea…
134 PacificPam Nov 29th, 2007 at 6:18 pm

@Momi Pink Shoes - you should have RRRRRAAAAMSHANK afterwards! and when you were done, you should started laughing…=)
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@rmw and Jennyanydots - I am a pervert…just wanted to state that =) See Momi Pink Shoes? Now you have no doubts.
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What what the word of the day for today? something about inbreeding and being reborn as a hick…
135 Momi Pink Shoes Nov 29th, 2007 at 7:09 pm

We did rrraaaaaaamshannnnnk, I just had to go shopping first.
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Oh, reintarnation - being reincarnated as a hillbilly.
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Wayell, reintarnation, feller!
136 Momi Pink Shoes Nov 29th, 2007 at 7:09 pm

It’s sad that I had to shop before ramshanking…
137 PacificPam Nov 29th, 2007 at 7:11 pm

@Momi Pink Shoes - Nooo, it was excellent you shopped and shagged! 2 great pleasures!
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RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREINTARANAAAAAATIONNN!
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Ramshank and Ramen!
138 Pluto (Not sorry at all!) Nov 29th, 2007 at 7:32 pm

Ramshank! Blessed be Bo’ Selector
139 Momi Pink Shoes Nov 29th, 2007 at 7:39 pm

I have decided that Ramshank is now the word of my life.
140 PacificPam Nov 29th, 2007 at 7:49 pm

Me too Momi Pink Shoes. It is on the top three: 1. Ramshank 2. Twat 3. Brollies…hahahahahaaha I love Brollies….
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Way too much balls of steel for me…=)
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I don’t like the incest word…I prefer to call them crackers