For years, I have been forced to call myself a Taoist, noting that the rabid believers of God (also known as Allah) stare down my back everywhere I go, demanding that I follow one of their churches. I remember a particular fellow: Anwell, who demanded that I join the Christian faith.
But being an Atheist for years, I could not accept the notion of this perfect deity who demands that we believe in him or go to some horrible afterlife. I remained a steadfast Atheist, and pitied the Christians for their insanity.
In high school, which was not long ago, I overheard one of my classmates speaking of an ‘invisible pink unicorn,’ and a larger group scoffing at the idea of a ‘flying spaghetti monster.’
I had heard that these were the hopes for people like me who wanted to counter those blasted Christians, but I had no idea how to find them.
Then I overheard my roommate, who is of the Jewish faith, listening to a song… A song depicting the fight between these two deities on Youtube.
And I realized that it wasn’t a mere talk of legend. I realized that such a movement was truly going on!
Filled with excitement, I scampered to the computer and did some research. Soon, I learned of Pastafarianism, and I must say that I applaud your work here. I am considering joining the Pastafarian faith, and, out of curiosity, I must ask you: Are you aware of how many Pastafarians have actually joined the faith (roughly, of course), or is this movement still fairly unknown?
RAmen
With deep respect,
Zhang
There are lots. Millions. How can anyone resist the truth of the pasta?
Yeah, all the cool people are doing it (peer pressure is fun). Anyway, thar be a lot of us here piratey followers, some of the deal with the press coverage. FSM be a very public spagadiety and His Word has spread as far as places like Belgium. If ye haven’t already, I recommend picking up a copy of the Gospel and an eye patch (maybe a cutlass, peg leg, hook, and parrot if you have the money).
And remember, our faith comes with a thirty-day guarantee. If you are somehow not feeling His Noodley Appendages, Taoism will most probably take you back.
We have millions, maybe even thousands of followers!
RAmen
-YAWN-
Kinda lame Bobby.
Don’t ya got something more interesting to put up as mail?
Hi Jr.
Heh, a some of my Asian friends have actually had to pretend to be Buddhists (as opposed to atheists) to avoid hostility from their families.
It’s definitely not unknown of. Just look at the guest map and you will see the ideas are very widespread (but mainly in Americas / Europe). There are prob around a million followers actually. The Facebook group for the FSM has 23301 people in it. Pretty much the highest amount any group gets to is 1.5 million people (very few get past that). If you divide 23301 by 1.5 million, then you get around 0.016, or 1.6%. This means 1.6% of people between the ages 13-25 (general age group for facebook users who join groups they support) are Pastafarian. Around 10% of the 300 million Americans are from this age group, so thats is 30 million people. 1.6% of 30 million is 480,000. This means around 1/2 million Americans are Pastafarians. We will assume that Americans make up around 1/2 the Pastafarians, so the best educated guess would be that there are a million Pastafarians in the world today.
I’m pretty sure that would classify this movement as fairly known of. Plus looking at the news articles on the main page about this stuff, I would say it is.
(If anybody cares to know, I just did his research right now, because this truly did make the interested so this isn’t anything outdated or whatnot)
@Zhang
I’m just curious, but was your classmate named Nicole who has an e-mail posted in the hate mail section? She mentions..”swimming unicorn of wonder”. What’s with the unicorns? No resemblance to the only true FSM although I’m sure he could take on any form of unicorn. The main difference between the FSM and a unicorn is that a unicorn isn’t real. Sheesh!
I do applaud you in possibly converting to Pastarianism. May his great noodlely appendage reach out and touch you.
I had to correct my spelling. Pastafarianism. Damn my fat fingers!
Congratulations on a great choice. The IPU has nothng on the FSM.
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And I claim oxygen, since I got started on the periodic table on the other thread.
Oops, I left the browser window open while I was checking something else and ended up with sodium, not oxygen.
I didn’t read past the second comma…
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So, you’re saying that you have faith in a race from Warhammer 40K?
Freaky, man. Freaky.
Hello to you too!
Spanky.
10 million. i love that youtube video btw. HE FLIES OH HE FLY-IES
Hey youse guys only counted the 13-25 age group. I am a couple of generations older and I’m a believer (Sorry Monkeys). I am sure there are lots of us O.F., male and female, who are believer but perhaps are afraid to say so. And don’t forget the PhD’s, I am sure all are over 25. There are most likely a lot of “closet Pastafarians”. At first I was but now I am spreading the word. So come on all you so called “over-the-hillers” RAISE YOUR VOICES, stand up and be counted. Remember, “Asked not what the FSM can do for you. Ask what you can do for him or her whatever the case may be.” Isn’t plegerism fun?
Assassin Sheepdog : I live your logic! Great thinking :))
(Even though I’m a little bit older than that age-group :))) )
Dearest sir, there are billion of pastafarians. Ya, sure, of course our planet is populated with heretical denial of His noodley majesty..but for the large part, the universe bows down to his Deliciousness.
what’s the name of that song?
Hello Zhang. I’m not sure of the numbers of followers, but from reading some of the other posts, it looks like we may have enough to be considered a “real” religion and thus qualified for tax-exemption status. Please, join our noodly and piratey religion. Or, feel free just enjoy a bowl of spaghetti and maybe watch “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Either way, it’s cool. May you be touched by his noodly appendage.
@ Seeker of Truth
Count us nonagenarians in as well.
PS. Is “plegerism” anything like plagiarism?
@ Peter Popoff
Yes? Did you want me?
Welcome to the fold, er, pirate ship, Zhang. Enjoy beer and strippers and keep a sharp eye out for ninjas. Belief in the afterlife is about to get a whole lot more enjoyable.
RAmen
@Cottura 5 Minuti
Yeah the periodic table cought on, I’m Vanadium not too sure what that is but oh well.
I have counted…1,652,987,456.25
But what do you move onto once you exhaust the elements. Loads of messages on here get well above the early hundreds.
Compounds, and if we ever manage to run out of them…we’ll just find a Pastafarian scientist to make us some more.
how bout pasta?
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I call, penne. I call linguni!
@PacificPam–in that case, I call ravioli and rigatoni.
I call angel hair and fettuccini so, probably spelt wrong, but anyway.
And if we run out of noodles, we can start calling specific pasta dishes, like lasagne or spaghetti bolognase (sp?).
I don’t see any reason why not.
Can’t think of a more relevant current thread than the membership numbers one - apologies it isn’t too relevant but thought you might be interested in this one - might get a few more members coming along… http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5izIdAiH7TCkYQq8AvK6KbH480paAD8SUOUQG1
hahahahahahaah…what happens when all the italian dishes are done?
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will it be the end of the world and we will have to go to a cave?
@PacificPam
“what happens when all the italian dishes are done?”
Ok, so we will first finish off the elements, then the compounds (which should take a while considering all the slight alterations you can make to proteins and nucleic acids), then Italian dishes. After that we can start calling jokes. Theres this one guy, Pluto (maybe you’ve heard of him?), who has a never ending supply of jokes that should last us until the ADD kicks in and we move to a new thread (and thus calling elements again).
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By the way, for my joke I call the New Jersey Devils (honestly could you ask for a funnier joke?).
@Jennyanydots
I checked out your link. It was pretty cool. Did anyone else notice that the acronym for the “American Academy of Religion” is “AAR” and that their website is “aarweb” something or other? It would appear that a major organization is finally recognizing, nay, encouraging a connection between pirates and religion. With the American Academy of Religion’s support I think it’s safe to say that we’ve gone mainstream!
I wonder if we can get any conference procedings?
I wonder if Bobby will make priests and priestesses…like the IPU
@El Peatieablo - Pluto? nope, never heard of him….hahahahaahaha I have asked him where the hell does he gets all those jokes…no answer.
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Can you tell the New Jersey Joke…I don’t know it.
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I love the Hind Lick one!
@PacificPam (I’m trying to post the end of the URL to a wikipedia article, I hope it works)
wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Jersey_Devils
It’s a hockey team that I hate (they beat the Detroit Red Wings in the playoffs when I was really little and I never forgave them). Also, their logo is a wrench- not a wench, a wrench. That’s almost as bad as the Colorado Avalanche (I hate them too) with their giant foot logo.
You hate the Avalanche? (Well of course you do because you’re a Red Wings fan!) I was a big fan until Patrick Roy retired… The WALL!!!! Personally, I’m a Sabres fan…
Hockey, I like Hockey…I love all the blood.
Like a bloodbath on ice. It’s a beautiful thing.
Yeah, the Sabers are decent. I seem to remember Vernon (the backup goalie) besting ole’ royboy in the playoffs. The reason I don’t like the ‘Lanche is because of that Series towards the end of the playoffs in the mid 90s (Colorado beat Detroit) when Sakic (I think it was him) never got called for tripping/crosschecking. Granted I was like 8 and extremely biased, but that’s how I remember it and no amount of evidence will change that (sound familiar to any fundies out there?).
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I really wish I had a television/a three hour block of time to watch some hockey right about now… :(
I love that when they smile…they have no teeth at all!
I know how you feel… I’m still bitter about the Stanley Cup 1999…. they got cheated. That’s why I hate the Stars.
But I hate the new Sabres uniforms…. I like the black & red.
I like Raul from the Real Madrid….=)
@ Saucyballs
“What’s with the unicorns? No resemblance to the only true FSM although I’m sure he could take on any form of unicorn. The main difference between the FSM and a unicorn is that a unicorn isn’t real. Sheesh!”
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Of course unicorns are real! The most real of all is the holy Invisible Pink Unicorn, who is able to be both invisible AND pink at the same time. (We know she is invisible because we can’t see her. We must have faith that she is pink.) She is a goddess who does not concern herself with people, only their laundry. See her wikipedia entry here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invisible_pink_unicorn
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She has personally visited her holy color on my laundry several times, poked holes in my clothes with her horn, and raptured many of my kid’s socks directly to sock heaven. (I bet she’s taken some of yours too!) I have more direct evidence for her existence than for any of the so-called “real” religions.
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I don’t see anything in the “I’d really rather you didn’ts” about being forbidden to believe in other fictional deities. And people have known about her (and daring the Fundies to prove she doesn’t exist) since 1990.
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So that’s what’s with the unicorns.
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RAmen
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(Hey, where did my other sock go?)
hahahahaaha I have to read about this unicorn!
@Starbuckaneer
I haven’t seen the new Buffalo uniform, but I never like the new uniforms as much as the old ones.
Where do you live that you have such diverse tastes in sports teams (Colorado to Buffalo)?
“Peter Popoff
Nov 26th, 2007 at 4:54 am
Hi Jr.”
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Hi, don’t see you much. Actually it’s probably more like don’t see me much since I don’t come here as often but you get the point.
RAmen
Why Pixel Pete? Why?
I live in FLORIDA! (Sure, the Lightning won a Stanley Cup… but as far as I’m concerned, they still SUCK)
WHY DO YOU ALL REFER TO THE FSM AS A HE?
Come on, I’m male, but that doesn’t mean that the FSM has to be called a he.
The FSM could be a she, or a transvestite or an IT or just plain fsm. I know it’s habitual but think before referring to the FSM as a he all the time…
I never say he…I think that I usually refer as FSM
@Tagliatelli Priest: I think it has something to to do with all his noodly appendages…
Finally a religion that makes perfect sense, long may his noodliness touch me! (member of the FSM number 1000001.)
The Vikings beat the Giants.
Evolution:
Cavemen -> Vikings -> Pirates -> Lumberjacks (according to Maddox).
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I call this a win.
@Ubi Dubium
My bad. My reference was to the “Swimming Unicorn of wonder” as posted by Zhang and I made a reference to all Unicorns. My deepest aplogies if I offended the followers of the Invisible Pink Unicorn (IPU), althouth I too am outraged at all my missing socks as I had once believed the sock gnomes had taken them. In light of new evidence, I see that most likely it was the IPU involved in sock theft at my house as several missing pairs of socks could not be located, leaving only but a trail of pink stained clothing and underwear. If I have offended the IPU, how does one appease her? Also, whats with her underwear fetish lately? My wife still claims it the goblins that go after her missing pairs of underwear!
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Thanks for the link. I am more knowledgeable on the IPU than ever before.
Congrats on finding a religion to call your own, Zhang
Your Pastafarian brothers and sisters (no matter how many there are) are also happy for you
May the FSM feed and keep you
R’amen
PS how many of us are there because i get asked this question all the time
someone should E-mail the prophet Bobby Henderson
@Pete - welcome! May you rejoice in the abundance of strippers and cold beer!
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@everyone - I am quite happy to see that my calling an element has caught on. Do not fear the time when we run out of elements. Taking a quick look on wikipedia it runs up to 118 and after the 118th message not many bother to call any glory with it. For the even hundreds you can of course call something, but pasta dishes and componds are surely enough.
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PS: this is post #61, hence I call Promethium — the only other radioactive element besides technetium which is followed by chemical elements that have stable isotopes. I only call it to illustrate the sillyness of calling something on post #61, besides the educational reasons.
Samarium!
Information on the IPU and elements, a link to a news article about a religious conference in which the FSM will be heavily discussed–tell me, what would we do without Google or Wikipedia? They’ve only been around for a couple years, but honestly, I can’t remember how got through life without them.
Yttrium
Welcome to the club Zhang! Have a bowl of pasta and rejoice in our fountains or mirth and gaiety!!! Oh…wait that didn’t come out right….
Hi Zhang. Well done on making a stand. It’s a sad state of affairs that the religious look down on atheists for some reason. They actually prefer you to be of an opposing faith as opposed to being of no faith at all. It’s comparable to an insane asylum; all the patients suffer from different mental illnesses but all of them put themselves apart from the doctors and nurses who treat them.
That’s us, the doctors and nurses. We point out the problems with them and try to help them become sane. However all the other inmates tell them that we are wrong so only a few ever get the help they desperately need.
I hope you like the analogy, thought it fit in quite well with your “pitied the Christians for their insanity” comment.
Welcome aboard and feel free to post. Opinions are always welcome (even from the god boxes, as it gives us something to do and we don’t believe in the same censorship they show to us on their sites. To do other wise would make us facists).
@ValkyriePariah–considering the people who post here, I think your comment came out quite right, as in quite accurate. Right as in moral, perhaps not. But who needs morality anyway? It just gets in the way of good, dirty fun.
We are all proud of our loose morals after all.
@storm petrel–yeah, notice we don’t have “Commandments,” we have “I Really Rather You Didn’ts.” And those are described in Wikipedia as a loose moral code. We really don’t come much looser. ;-)
I just found this article at www.uexpress.com/newsoftheweird. It’s short, so here it is in its entirety:
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“The Catholic archbishop overseeing a convent near Bari, Italy, closed it down in August after the mother superior was attacked and beaten by her two nuns, who were angry at her authoritarian ways. [Agence France-Presse, 10-1-07]” (Very Christian of them, don’t you think?)
Maybe they were a silent order and the two nuns didn’t see any other way of complaining?
@storm petrel - At least I know that I’m proud of my loose morals and sometimes my lack of guilt.
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Notice that I say sometimes.
@PacificPam- “At least I know that I’m proud of my loose morals and sometimes my lack of guilt.”
Like when you Ramshank for me?
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@storm petrel – “Maybe they were a silent order and the two nuns didn’t see any other way of complaining?”
They could have tried flipping her off. Maybe it was a sex game gone wrong?
(I’m sure the cat fighting nuns in my head are way hotter than the real ones.)
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Also what’s wrong with loose morals? Better than being all repressed and ashamed all the time. I think that’s one of the big reasons the god boxes get unhappy. We can have all the fun we want wile they are made to feel bad about all the nice things in life. They can’t even crack one off without it being a sin (every sperm is sacred after all).
It’s like in Moral Oral “If you get any pleasure out of it then it’s probably a sin!”
Have you thought that another way to put loose morals - say for instance for a cv - might be flexible, adjustble or can-do? Makes it sound like a marketable skill, eh.
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Oh yeah, one more thing on the elements issue… I have just counted the number of the post, not the number of posters. So if it would work like this “gold, silver, bronze” mechanism, we have no trouble at all since we will hardly have more than a hundred posters on a thread. It is much easier to just count the post number though once you get past say 20ish.
@Pluto - RRRRRAMSHAAAAAAAANK!
@Pluto (Not sorry at all!) & PacificPam
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Even on the off chance that the christians or jews or muslims are right about this moral stuff, keep in mind that one goes to hell for committing a sin anyway. So if you commit a sin once, can it get any worse if you repeat it? So if you have ramshanked (what romance in a word) once, you might as well keep doing it over and over. No point feeling sorry about it before the last moment, if you remember to repent right at the end.
@Cottura 5 Minuti - I have never said that their morals are wrong…anybody can do what they want to do, I will not follow their moral standards…if they think that they are going to hell because of some crazy ramshank…well, then don’t do it….as for myself…I will never ever regret anything I do with my Puto…
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Now…RRRRAMMMSHAAANK
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And Ramen
@PacificPam - Ramshank! Ramshank!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
@PacificPam - you haven’t said that christian/jewish/muslim morals are wrong, but I have! And though I would agree with you that anyone can do what they want, they might still get arrested and sentenced to prison if they stone to death the blasphemers and adulterers etc.
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But as far as ramshanking is considered, have fun. I’ll be rooting for you (hehe, pun inteded). I hope it’s better than it sounds, because ramshank quite frankly is the nastiest name I have ever heard for intercourse.
@Cotura 5 Minuti - I didn’t even know what ramshank meant until this morning….hahahahaha I think it is a funny sounding word…like twat or cunt…they mean nothing to me, but sound really fun…I giggle…
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*giggling*
From the urban dictionary: (my favorite definition)
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2. ramshank
11 up, 2 down
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To engage in intercourse, to have sex, to fuck like stoned test bunnies.
Oh sexy Atomic kitten ladies, I would love to ramshank with you!
@PacificPam - neither did I. I knew what ram meant and also shank, and had a fairly good idea of what ramshank might mean when I read the word in context as originally posted by Pluto. And it does sound funny.
Hey, everybody needs a good ramshanking every now and again. If not, you get all repressed and unhappy thinking you’re going to hell. So, fuck like stoned bunnies (possibly while being stoned yourself) and live to the fullest. RAmen!
@rmw - that must have been the best adviced I have ever received in my whole life!
@Cottua 5 Minuti - See? hahahahahahaha Now go tell your GF you want to RRRRAAAAMSHANK with her!
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RRRRamen!
I came in at the wrong time for that one…
@Momi Pink Shoes - wrong time for what? Ramshank?
@Tagliatelli Priest - It’s a “he” because of his balls and appendages. I suppose he is rather androgynous though.
@PPam - Yes, Ramshank. Imagine walking into a room with someone screaming “Rammmmshannnkkk with herrrr!”
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It’s kind of like walking into a bomb only with less consequences.
I think your brain might go numb for a couple of minutes!
My brain’s always been numb…
@Momi Pink Shoes - do you think that is a funny word?
My brain was numb last night
Ramshank?
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Hell yes.
Oh…I was watching a documental on the history channel about the pagan religions in England…that was awesome…! dammit…my words..they fucking hide all the time…
@Momi Pink Shoes - Me too! Is english your first language?
It is.
I feel happy today!
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*round of grog for whomever wants some at 9.30 in the morning*
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I know I do…
I feel happy too! Usually Wednesdays are horrible (except that it is hump day and that’s always a good thing :-)) but this Wednesday is different…Maybe this is just Friday in a mask?
Ohhh…Maybe the FSM is playing with us…again…and making us feel this wednesday as a friday…so we are happy…
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Wait…hump day? So….you schedule the days you humP?
Hahaha, no, hon. Wednesday is considered the “hump” of the week because it’s in the middle. Ya know, like a mountain you have to climb to get to the only good part of the week: Friday.
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So it’s Hump Day.
Oh!…hahahahahahahahaha Something new every day!
hahahahaaha and here I was thinking that you scheduled the days you have sex!
…you mean…you’re NOT….supposed…to…schedule?
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Just kidding…or am i? *dramatic music plays*
This is just great
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http://mypage.direct.ca/k/kdomries/fun.html
Oh this is good too..
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Good joke: You May be a Fundamentalist If…
Ramshank!!!
Interesting disclaimer at the top of that first link: “I’m not a bigot, a sexist, an anarchist, a communist, or a Republican. I’m not a homophobe, a technophobe, a misogynist, an athiest, or an anti-semite.” What’s atheist doing in there?
Rammmshannnkkkk!!!!
Hey! I want to fucking Ramshank too…hahahaha that was repetitive!
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Raaaaaaaaaaaaamshaaaaaaaaank!
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and RAaaaaaaaamen!
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Actually, what’s so bad about anarchy too?
@Momi Pink Shoes - Well, I think whores do schedule it…they have to do their hours..you know..
Meh, true.
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Rammmshannkkk!
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It’s my word of the day
Word of the day….I have to think about tomorrow’s
Tomorrow’s will be “reintarnation” - being reincarnated as a hillbilly
hahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahhaha
hahahaahahahahahahahaha fuck, that was a good one
that’s “wurd fer the day:
reintarnation
Ignoranus - Someone who is stupid and an asshole
@Momi Pink Shoes - hahahahahahahahahahahaha =) good one!
Let’s take a short trip in my Delorean to respond to a comment from a ways back in this thread!
PacificPam
Nov 26th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
Why Pixel Pete? Why?
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There are a couple of big reasons. First the topics were all closed so I couldn’t actually come here and second all the fundies left :(
Not to mention the old timers such as myself aren’t around here anymore(My wenches are nowhere to be seen!). Can you believe it’s been over a year since I’ve been posting comments in these waters?
RAmen
Hi Pixel :)
“Not to mention the old timers such as myself aren’t around here anymore. My wenches are nowhere to be seen!.”
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Humph! I’m around!! :) Not so much at the moment I know, but I have a fair bit going on off the net. :(
I’m around, and I’m a wench. I love saying that. It’s really rather freeing.
Hey, I’m a wench, and I’m around, sort of anyway.
Well, shoot, I didn’t mean to post twice. I thought I lost the first one.
Thrice to be precise :D
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It’s good to see my wenches haven’t left. But the point still stands that a lot of people have gone and it seems like a whole new place to me.
RAmen
Pixel, think of it this way: there is a whole load of fresh wenches available to someone as charming as you ;)))))
@SaucyWench - Bobadil was looking for one the other day! I thik you’ll make him happy.
I told my boyfriend about “Ramshank”. He didn’t find it as funny as I did until I said it like this “rrrrammmmshannnkk!”. Then we both started doing it.
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Ahh, hail the FSM (and Pluto/PPam) for entertaining us with that blessed word =D Ramen!
When I say “doing it”, I meant saying the word…not…ya know.
@Momi Pink Shoes–the fact that you had to clarify that makes me laugh. Just goes to show what a bunch of perverts we are. :-D
@ rmw - or at least that Momi believes we’re all a bunch of perverts. Wonder what gave her that idea…
@Momi Pink Shoes - you should have RRRRRAAAAMSHANK afterwards! and when you were done, you should started laughing…=)
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@rmw and Jennyanydots - I am a pervert…just wanted to state that =) See Momi Pink Shoes? Now you have no doubts.
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What what the word of the day for today? something about inbreeding and being reborn as a hick…
We did rrraaaaaaamshannnnnk, I just had to go shopping first.
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Oh, reintarnation - being reincarnated as a hillbilly.
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Wayell, reintarnation, feller!
It’s sad that I had to shop before ramshanking…