From our friends at neat-o-rama, 7 Myths and Truths about Pirates:
We’ve all got an idea of what it was like to be a pirate in the 1700s - but a lot of it is pure Hollywood hooey. Here’s a few of our most common misconceptions about pirates … and the truth about them.
Here’s the link
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Thanks for the info. I’ll check it out.
And if’n I understand the protocol here (I’m new)…..GOLD??
Wow, a newcomer grabs silver as well as gold. Cool article, btw.
Congrats to you two and welcome :)
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WALKING THE PLANK
“Few (if any) pirate ships ever used “the plank.” When pirates took over a ship, they usually let the captured crewmembers choose between joining the pirate crew or jumping overboard. Why go to all the trouble of setting up a plank to walk off? As historian Hugh Rankin put it: “The formality of a plank seems a bit absurd when it was so much easier just to toss a prisoner overboard.”
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I reckon we should keep the plank…more fun!
Bronze! I think A&E or Discovery Channel had a show about this a few years ago. But they didn’t mention how the pirates gave candy to children and fought global warming….
… crap… what’s forth? Candy…?
Aww….sorry :( I honestly did wait for awhile before posting. Don’t know what forth is….how bout Beryllium?
Errr…no…wrong scale…that one would make me Lithium :p
S’alright.
We could have a whole scale of posting, from gold to pyrite or something. Do alloys count or are we just doing elements?
Platinum!(better than gold btw) they have Teaches flag! he of course did have a big ship. THE QUEEN ANNE’S REVENGE!!!!
Converts are always the most dangerous of religious fanatics. Finally, after years of soothing myself with parrothead music while making sure numerous alternative and multicultural explanations for the origin of the universe were available to middle and high school students, I can once again return to teaching objective science with a clear conscience. Your existence (and mine place as I now understand it) adds the definitive coffin nail which evolutionary biologists have been seeking among the fossilized forms of post-mortem then petrified flora and fauna. With a single mouse click I can call upon the wisspoofdom yet appropriate delegation to higher authority for the simple yet clear message “if reasoning by faith alone is required, to whose faith do we ultimately turn”!
Thank you, FSM, and through your earth-bound adherents marketing efforts I go now to add another symbol to my “One Universe, One (Hundred Billion) Explanation(s)” mass media contact vessel. This traveling required reading is conveniently located at eye level for all who follow in my wake, seeking a weather advantage over my parrothead-powered vessel. Piracy is always best in crowded sea lanes where blocked in and otherwise weak-minded captains of gas-guzzlers are enlightened to the freedoms available to less complex life-forms. Oh, were we all just jellyfish, then we’d too be mirroring closely the form and functions of our FSM creator. Enjoy.
PHP2FSMP
(ParrotHead Pirate to Flying Spaghetti Monster Pirate)
Sorry, but I get my information by divine revelation which, of course, has a higher priority than things like scholarly research. :)
Hey, the Jolly Fish is lacking from the examples of Jolly Rogers! Anybody here having a Wikipedia account and able to add our flag to the Wikimedia Commons?
Just read the New York Times Sunday Magazine. Great article about the Creationist Geology movement. They are trying to get real science behind their mistaken beliefs. Yet another attempt at pseudo science and an afront to our FSM!
This is moving further into the category of dangerous fanaticism. Couple this with death threats to our Pastafarians and we have what looks like extremism. The ID crowd is looking desparate. They need to sit down and eat some pasta.
hey guys i’m trying to start a pastafarian gathering in hellertown PA
real small town (with a lot of fundies to piss off ;) )
Hooray, pirates!
Wow, I want to be a Pastafarian.
Regards fom Mosterio, the cave of Mostro.
I liked the bit about everyone getting equal shares. More money for me if the captain doesn’t take it all!
Hello. I didn’t find an email address at all to contact you guys, but I just wanted to bring your attention to a rather strange endorsement. It might have been discussed here before, but at the Intelligent Design site idnet.com.au, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is mentioned when they’re describing how ID has been vilified (in this case by being equated with FSM) by “secular forces”. Keep up the good work!
Whoops. Let me be more specific… http://www.idnet.com.au/files/pdf/PDF%20ID_Website_10_Questions.PDF
Bottom of page 3.
Cheers!
They call us “demeaning”. How rude.
They compare themselves to Gailileo as being censored, they really should read up on their history a bit, the church turned on his theories because they disagreed with the bible, the IDiots turn on eveolution because it disagrees with the bible…
@Alex–thanks for the link. Here’s my favorite part:
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“By censoring ID, other disciplines like archaeology, SETI, cosmology, and criminology, and many
other areas of scientific endeavour that rely on ID theory are in danger of also being relegated to the
realm of pseudo-science. All this is done to suppress discussion about the application of ID theory
to biochemistry. Open minded people will look deeper and evaluate the evidence themselves.”
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Right, because archaeologists and cosmologists/astronomers and the like will all be “pseudo-science” because they are…I dunno…heretics, I suppose. Heretics who don’t see the divinity of God in their work, but instead look at observable facts and extrapolate from there. Couple hundred years ago, such blashphemy would’ve sent you to be burned at the stake. We Pastafarians, and scientists, and all others who don’t believe that ID and science should be taught side-by-side, or the one-and-the-same, are probably lucky that there are no stake-burnings anymore. And Galileo must be turning over in his grave!
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Loved the pirate article. The History Channel had a good documentary on pirates about a year or so ago. It was call “The Real Caribbean Pirates.” I recommend it.
@storm petrel Nov 26th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
“They compare themselves to Gailileo as being censored”
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The Crackpot Index
#34.
40 points for claiming that the “scientific establishment” is engaged in a “conspiracy” to prevent your work from gaining its well-deserved fame, or suchlike.
#35.
40 points for comparing yourself to Galileo, suggesting that a modern-day Inquisition is hard at work on your case, and so on.
#36.
40 points for claiming that when your theory is finally appreciated, present-day science will be seen for the sham it truly is. (30 more points for fantasizing about show trials in which scientists who mocked your theories will be forced to recant.)
#37
50 points for claiming you have a revolutionary theory but giving no concrete testable predictions.
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http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/crackpot.html
So the IDiots must have about a thousand points by now? Do they get extra for repitition?
@Wench.Nikkiee@–I think the Crackpot Index would make a nice companion to the Fuckwit Finder used for hatemail.
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BTW, this is my favorite: 30 points for claiming that your theories were developed by an extraterrestrial civilization (without good evidence).
@Nikkiee
Thanks for the crackpot index, I hadn’t seen that one before I think. Another amusing bookmark for me.
@storm petrel–I didn’t see any points value for repetition, but I think it needs to be added. So, let’s say 100 points for constantly bringing up your fucktard theory, as if by saying it enough times, it’ll eventually be correct.
Isn’t one of the definitions of insanity doing the exact same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?
@storm petrel–Hahahahahahaha!!! I believe you’re right.
I’ve noticed the FSM now has a Santa hat. Yes, the holiday season doth approach. A time to spend too much, drink too much, eath too much, and pretty much just do everything in excess. Sounds down-right piratey to me.
Yep, remember chrisitanity took pretty much everything from other religions…sooo, they do have a resemblance to us.
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@rmw
FSM wearing a Santa hat? Peter Popoff will be overjoyed!
@El Peatieablo - would you mind explaining me why?
@PacificPam
A while ago he was questing for Santa… Those were the days… :)
Oh, Santa is actually the FSM….that explains why he get to all the houses in only one night…all that bunch of noodly appendages…hahahahaha…I can tell my mom that santa exists and is good.
hahaha
And Adam was a horny man…
Yes, he lusted after all the women in the world………
Oh, I was talking about the horns at the top of the site…but…what women,…if it was only him and eve?
exactly :))
…you left me hanging
welcome gentlemen to our religion (silver and gold guys)
yes we should keep the plank
Pirates kick arse
what’s with the elements thing? idont get it
RAmen
ARRR!!
RAmen
I agree with Capt’n Spaghz, we should keep the plank. Besides, everybody knows (well, Pastafarians know) that pirates were not the maurading bunch of murderers and rapists they are reported to be (according to the site, rape was a death-penalty offense). No doubt they didn’t use the plank because they had to use wood for other things, like repairing holes after greedy navies chased them down for their treasure. I’m sure if they had a plank, they simply would’ve used to jump off and go for a swim.
@rmw- “No doubt they didn’t use the plank because they had to use wood for other things, like repairing holes after greedy navies chased them down for their treasure.”
And making peg legs!
Right-
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Platinum, Gold, silver etc. is effectively a simple reactivity series. Yeah, i know bronze is an alloy. And yeah, i know that nobody uses platinum. Shut up.
So we should be getting Gold, Silver, Mercury, Copper, Bismuth, Antimony etc.
SCREW THAT!
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Just stick to Gold, silver and bronze please, or we gonna end up with the coments section just consisting of people listing various elements of the periodic table; and then we gonna get people making stuff up, like piratinium or noodlite.
I can go for noodlite!
Is silver going to become Long John Silver?
The quest for medals is on-going, but futlie unless you are going to sit on the site for days. Bobby tends to be a bit random with posting things.
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It is Hump Day, the second best day next to Holy Fridays, just by virtue of its name.
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Plank or no plank, if you are not a pirate get off the boat!
Hump day?!!
Awesome!!
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well… if you have anyone TO hump…
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*sniff*
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I guess…w-well…
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I’ll just go…
@Cap’n Ollie - I’m sure there is a wench out there waiting for you…Happy Hump day!
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Seriously…go look out your window!
…Yeah, i can’t see anyone….
Sorry…Maybe you made her wait too much…you know they are always in a rush
Damn it!!!
hahahah
Awww, poor Cap’n Ollie. If I had money, I would give you some to get yourself a wench. Sorry I’m broke.
@Cap’n Ollie, 27th November
Noodlite IS an element. What else would His noodly appendages be made from? Why else is it so impossible for normal noodles to compare?
The Pirates are Coming!!
http://www.theweekdaily.com/news_opinion/briefing/29445/briefing_the_return_of_the_pirates.html
Don’t worry, My ship is raiding portugal on monday-
Portugese girls go crazy for captains.
whay cant I pooooooooooooost!
can i buy whatever you guys smoke please?
YAAAARGE!!!!
ER BE THE FLYING SPAGETTI MONSTER BE TRUE!!
YAAAARGE!!!
FSM 4 Lif3!
YAAARRGE!!!
SHUN THE NON BELIEVERS
SHUUUUUUUUUN!!!!
damn, they stole my kidney…YARRRRRGGGEEEEE
I knew it, pirates never raped anyone, or they would have been killed, this proves that pirates were honorable, in most instances even more than the navy that hunted them.
SWEET
RAmen