Scalzi’s Creation Museum report

Published by Bobby Henderson November 21st, 2007 in Intelligent Design and General FSM news.

Author and blogger John Scalzi has posted an amusing report of his visit to the Creation Museum.

Some time ago he said that he’d visit the museum, which was built near his home, on the condition that his readers donated $250, with the added incentive that any extra money would be given to Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. His readers came through and donated over $5000.

So he went, took a bunch of pictures, and posted a very thorough report.

An excerpt:

Here’s how to understand the Creation Museum:

Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit. And we’re not talking just your average load of horseshit; no, we’re talking colossal load of horsehit. An epic load of horseshit. The kind of load of horseshit that has accreted over decades and has developed its own sort of ecosystem, from the flyblown chunks at the perimeter, down into the heated and decomposing center, generating explosive levels of methane as bacteria feast merrily on vintage, liquified crap. This is a Herculean load of horseshit, friends, the likes of which has not been seen since the days of Augeas.

You can read his entire report here.

330 Responses to “Scalzi’s Creation Museum report”

1. 301 - November 24th, 2007 at - Bombadil Says:
   
   

   Huge one! christianity causes violence(there’s a shocker;))
   http://www.google.com/trends?q=christianity%2C+violence&ctab=0&geo=all&date=all&sort=0

2. 302 - November 24th, 2007 at - Captain Codpiece returns Says:
   
   

   @Pluto (Not sorry at all!) Nov 23rd, 2007 at 4:22 pm
   Worship of beer? Think there is a religious undertone to Weather Spoons? Possibly in line with the CoFSM?
   .
   Something like Albigensians or Cathars, maybe Wetherspoons is a secret meeting place of the Assenes!
   What ever happened to those Coptic guys anyway?
   CC

3. 303 - November 26th, 2007 at - mikfoz Says:
   
   

   Heh!

   I almost want to go and see the place just to laugh myself stupid.

   Great report and well written.

4. 304 - November 26th, 2007 at - Momi Pink Shoes Says:
   
   

   @rmw - that place is in Kentucky?! I might actually go! I live in Virginia (not so far from DC) so it wouldn’t take that long to get there.
   .
   I really am thinking about going. I think I would die laughing.

5. 305 - November 26th, 2007 at - storm petrel Says:
   
   

   Just bring someone who knows to keep the crowds away when you faint from too much laughter and not enough breathing.

6. 306 - November 26th, 2007 at - Cap'n Ollie Says:
   
   

   @PacificPam-
   Sure, I’ll pay for ‘em; but only if you send me regular picture updates ;)

7. 307 - November 26th, 2007 at - Jennyanydots Says:
   
   

   @ SP/Momi - and maybe take someone who can keep the irate hoards away from you when you point out, in as loud a voice as possible, how sadly mistaken it all is. Or words to that effect, anyway…

8. 308 - November 26th, 2007 at - PacificPam Says:
   
   

   @Cap’n Ollie - I was told that I don’t need them, so I changed my mind

9. 309 - November 27th, 2007 at - Teremari Says:
   
   

   Pasta causes happiness! Looking at the news reference volume, pasta practically IS happiness!
   http://www.google.com/trends?q=pasta%2C+happiness&ctab=0&geo=all&date=all&sort=0

10. 310 - November 27th, 2007 at - pieces o'nine Says:
    
    

    Old Grouch posted regarding the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. Last visit, I found myself next to a couple of evangelical fundamentalist moms in the Egyptian exhibit. One claimed to have never heard of *any* of the history referenced there, which amazed me. The other helpfully explained every artifact [incorrectly] and interpreted every placard placard [incorrectly] by quoting from . . . Exodus.
    .
    At first I thought it was unbelievable comedy. Then I realized that they were probably going to ‘home-school’ the infants and toddlers accompanying them, and it didn’t seem so funny anymore. If they ever perpetrate a branch of the Creation Museum in Colorado, far too many would accept it uncritically.

11. 311 - November 27th, 2007 at - neal Says:
    
    

    The whole thing is too hilarious for words. The whole site is a camp classic, and probably the most interesting exhibit are the “true bilble believing literal creationist” visitors. Talk about a group still stuck in Darwin’s waiting room. It;s frightening to think that these people vote as a block and have swayed 5 or 6 of our last eight presidential elections, given us a congress of Newt Gingriches, and Tom Delay’s, with the attendant freak shows like the 98 impeachment and the 95 shut down of the federal government.

    These people yield just enough power to be extremely dangerous. At the very least they insure complete gridlock in our governance. When was the last time this country ratified a constitutional amendment. Answer: Not since before they came on the scene.

    When was the last time we admitted a state into the union: Answer, not since before they came on the scene, and they will surely block any state from coming into the union if it would come in “blue”.

    Last time we had a meaningful social program. Not since they came on the scene. We will almost surely not fix Social Security, or Medicare, or have single provider universal health care as long as this group exists and votes the republican line as a block. They are a cancer, pure and simple.

12. 312 - November 28th, 2007 at - Old Grouch Says:
    
    

    @ Pieces O Nine - We have several “Christian Academies”, as well as a “Bible University” - whatever that might be - in town already.
    .
    The latest “big thing” in the funnymentalcase projects is to get the State Constitution Amendment on the ballot in 2008, which would make the 2 cells - sperm and ovum - a “person”, immediately upon the joining, with “all the legal rights”. Which they are touting will overturn even the limited - medical approval - abortions Colorado led in establishing years ago, along with, of course, any form of stem cell research, as well as most forms of contraceptives, which would become “abortifacients” under the Act.
    .
    The leader of this whacko project is a teenage girl - with a Preacher egging her on in the background, of course - who got “inspired” to lead the anti-abortion crusade. Home scholing is bad enough with these freaks. But this comes out of one of the church run schools.

    2

13. 313 - November 28th, 2007 at - PacificPam Says:
    
    

    Oh my FSM, what the hell?

14. 314 - November 29th, 2007 at - pieces o'nine Says:
    
    

    @ Old Grouch
    Yeah, I’ve been following the Fetus Rights freak show.
    .
    I notified certain relatives about the increasing number of pharmacists who are refusing to fill birth control prescriptions because it ‘violates their religious beliefs’ but they just shrug saying, “If it’s what they believe…” and act like it could never affect them. Why do they feel safe from this trend? Because they are … [pieces o’nine pauses to laugh hilariously to herself] … married, Catholic, and taking it for legitimate medical reasons other birth control. The irony escapes them. The first time some holier-than-thou zealot refuses to fill their prescription, all hell will break loose and I will be *very* tempted to just shrug and say, “Well, if it’s what they beleeeeeeve…”
    .
    I’m waiting [until an imaginary hell freezes over?] to hear of a Religiously Righteous pharmacist refusing to fill a prescription for Viagra without a written affidavit that the man is (a) duly married and (b) intends to use it *only* for the purposes of begetting an heir.
    .
    Sigh.

15. 315 - November 29th, 2007 at - rmw Says:
    
    

    @Old Grouch and pieces o’ nine–ah yes. The glorious work of the fundies. Look, I try to be respectful of others’ beliefs (sometimes not hard enough admittedly), but I angers me that there are those who are not only trying to cram their beliefs down my throat, but are using the law and medicine to do so. Like pieces o’ nine pointed out, not everybody who uses birth control uses it as a contraceptive. There are other, legitimate medical conditions hormonal birth control treats. And I’m sorry, but no pharmacist has the right to deny anybody a medical prescription because it conflicts with their religious beliefs. I’ll be watching the state issues very closely. Maybe if I leave CO before the elections, I’ll keep my residency there, just so I can vote “NO” on this unbelievable amendment these whack-jobs are trying to pass.
    .
    also @ pieces o’ nine–re: Viagra: yeah, *that’ll* be the day!

16. 316 - November 29th, 2007 at - neal Says:
    
    

    @pieces o’nine. They just keep getting more and more intrusive into everyday people’s lives. The Jesus “el kada” is alive and well in our nation. Everywhere from a chief justice of the Alabama supreme court who puts two volkswagen sized monuments to the ten commandments in the people’s hall of justice, to the whack job pharmacists who are CO’s about birth control. Does that mean no condoms sold as well?

    How ridiculous.

17. 317 - November 30th, 2007 at - rmw Says:
    
    

    @neal–”Does that mean no condoms sold as well?”
    .
    Probably.

18. 318 - November 30th, 2007 at - Momi Pink Shoes Says:
    
    

    @Everyone who told me to bring someone - I will bring someone to slap me when I start laughing too hard. Once my face turns purple, they can slap me. But then I think I would start laughing at that too.

19. 319 - December 1st, 2007 at - neal Says:
    
    

    I’m thinking about visiting that place, but I’m sure I would need security because I would be laughing so hard at the stupidity of it, that some irate fundies would decide to physically put me in my place. I’m sure I could handle 1 or even 2, but if it got to be more than that even the 5 years of kick boxing training might not be of much help.

20. 320 - December 2nd, 2007 at - Old Grouch Says:
    
    

    @neal - It just manages to get worse, as we go along. A few days ago, the Rocky Mountain News ran a full page blurb about the teenager who is - supposedly - the one “inspired” to plug this bit of “personhood for the fertilized egg”. In this blurb, it was mentioned that one of the purposes of the idiocy was to also outlaw nearly all forms of contraceptives - presumably including condoms - as “abortifacients”. Seems as if we are back to the medieval attitude of “sex only for procreation”.
    .
    The getting worse is illustrated by the current battle over whether or not the Sisters of Charity should be allowed to take over - fully - the operation of two major hospital facilities out in the counties. Seems as if this bunch of constipated and menopausal old maids follow the Roman “Guidelines of Medical Ethics” - or however it be called. And this position is one in which NO INFORMATION concerning birth control, NO ABORTION, even in medical emergency, NO FORM OF PREVENTION, especially NO TUBAL LIGATION, AND NO VASECTOMY is allowed anywhere under Roman control.
    .
    The medical staffs are up in arms, as the old Lutheran Hospital - now Exempla Lutheran - is the only place in Jefferson County currently offering a full range of “women’s health care”, ALL OF WHICH would be “streng verboten” when the old maids took over. (Much approved by the Hitlerite in the Vatican, of course; and the pudgy little pompous twerp in the purple nightgown, who represents middle management of the Roman Department of Religion locally, is indicating full approval of the whole thing as well.)
    .
    The old maids answer to their medical staff: “Patients are, of course, always free to go to another hospital”.
    .
    What they DON’T SAY is, there is NO OTHER hospital in the County; so women’s comprehensive health care would be completely eliminated in the area.
    .
    Only in Cowlorado!

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