Scalzi's Creation Museum report - Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Scalzi’s Creation Museum report

Published by Bobby Henderson November 21st, 2007 in Intelligent Design and General FSM news.

Author and blogger John Scalzi has posted an amusing report of his visit to the Creation Museum.

Some time ago he said that he’d visit the museum, which was built near his home, on the condition that his readers donated $250, with the added incentive that any extra money would be given to Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. His readers came through and donated over $5000.

So he went, took a bunch of pictures, and posted a very thorough report.

An excerpt:

Here’s how to understand the Creation Museum:

Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit. And we’re not talking just your average load of horseshit; no, we’re talking colossal load of horsehit. An epic load of horseshit. The kind of load of horseshit that has accreted over decades and has developed its own sort of ecosystem, from the flyblown chunks at the perimeter, down into the heated and decomposing center, generating explosive levels of methane as bacteria feast merrily on vintage, liquified crap. This is a Herculean load of horseshit, friends, the likes of which has not been seen since the days of Augeas.

You can read his entire report here.

330 Responses to “Scalzi’s Creation Museum report”

Pages: « 1 … 8 9 10 11 [12] 13 14 15 16 … 17 » Show All

221 - November 22nd, 2007 at - Dylan_Dog Says:

Jennyanydots

Could you give me the recipe for mead?(always wanted to try the stuff)
222 - November 22nd, 2007 at - Cap'n Ollie Says:

Ayumi-chan, you in the UK?
223 - November 23rd, 2007 at - PacificPam (Butterfly) Says:

I think she is in some Asian Country
224 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Ayumi-chan Says:

@PacificPam
I will NOT rest when I die. I will go to Heaven, where I will hang around in the corner feeling all shy and left out because I don’t like alcohol o.0
.
And actually I AM in the UK. North of England to be precise. I just happen to be obsessed with Japan.
225 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:

Ayumi-chan
A Tyke? :p)
226 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Alchemist Says:

Best not be eyin up me ewe if e is!
227 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:

I think your ewes will be safe from “her”. What’s your current favourite’s name? I hope your looking after her properly! ;)
228 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Alchemist Says:

Ah - that’s a relief!
My current? As you well know, it has and always will be, Dolly!
229 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:

I thought Dolly…erm…expired? Do they have numbers like Dolly I, Dolly II ect?
Must be getting a bit cold over there too? Nice to have something woolly to snuggle into :p
230 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:

“C” season upon us again too :))
231 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Alchemist Says:

Dolly is Dolly is Dolly (x whatever)
.
“Nice to have something woolly to snuggle into :p”
.
Is it? Furry yes…woolly ….ph ewe!

(lost me on the last one)
232 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Ayumi-chan Says:

Why do I get the feeling that my tender young eyes should not be reading this conversation?
233 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Wench Nikkiee Says:

@Alchemist
For some reason your reply didn’t come up on my screen till just now! :(
“Furry yes…woolly ….ph ewe!”
.
You have furry sheep over there then? Ours are woolly here…well ‘cept after they’ve been sheared.
.
“(lost me on the last one)”
You mean the “C” word? You don’t really want me to type the word “Cricket” out loud do you?
Ooops… :)
.
@Ayumi-chan Nov 23rd, 2007 at 5:07 am
“Why do I get the feeling that my tender young eyes should not be reading this conversation?”
.
I’m sure Alchemist’s relationship with his sheep is completely innocent…probably just takes her out to dinner and movies occassionally.
234 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Ayumi-chan Says:

@Nikkiee
I’m quite alright with it, whatever Alchemist wants to do to his sheep. After all, love is love, regardless of creed, race, sex or, apparantly, species. I read somewhere about someone who married a horse, so…
235 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Red Dutchpasta Wench Says:

Ayumi-chan
Nov 23rd, 2007 at 1:35 am
@PacificPam
I will NOT rest when I die. I will go to Heaven, where I will hang around in the corner feeling all shy and left out because I don’t like alcohol o.0

*
There will be other volcanos too :)) (I don’t drink alcohol either) What would you want? I’d like at least an fruit-juice volcano and a cola one too. It IS heaven after all!
236 - November 23rd, 2007 at - rmw Says:

@Ayumi-chan–at least you sleep when you’re tired (if at inconvenient times). When I get tired, I start thinking all these bizarre and ridiculous thoughts. A great one from last night: “Is Dr. Atkins, with his ‘no carbs’ diet the anti-pasta of the FSM?” Damn insomnia!
237 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Captain Codpiece returns Says:

@Pluto (Not sorry at all!) Nov 22nd, 2007 at 7:58 pm
http://www.naijarita.com/2006/god-blocking-tv-miracles
Thought this would go down well here.
.
Did you read the comment by Koffi Mensah?
I don’t know about you but there might be a rastafarian referrence here at the end.
I’ve isolated the passage in question which I think is thinly veiled talk of beer volcanoes and stripper factories.
.
Koffi Mensah
June 22nd, 2007
10:23 pm
I understand you are Nigerian born. Do you teach African History to your congregation. Seeing that Christianity was forced on Africa like it was forced on Europeans. Our history makes more sense than Christianity. For example, Mali Empire, Ghana Empire, etc. We need to proud of our past my african brother. Remember in our history we priests, leaders, doctors, etc that were spiritual. We did not need these European to show us all this we were living it the only problem in our history was the idol worship but the doctrine was Truth. Before the Pope died he said that black people are the religious and the most spiritualist people on the face of the earth but they are poor. Remember how AIDS got in to Africa with WHO - with a smallpox vaccination they injected into our people they came down with AIDS. If you read the TIMES Newspaper in May 1986 it tell you and they have the cheek to give us a belief which they don’t believe also most of their churches are pubs and dancehalls.
.
most of their churches are pubs and dancehalls.?!?
What do you think?
CC
238 - November 23rd, 2007 at - Jennyanydots Says:

OK, Dylan - somewhat sketchy, and I’ll add in the advice I got from a supplier in square brackets. The recipe itself is typed as scribbled in a field by someone who couldn’t remember all of the details. It made rather good mead though, because he brought a bottle with him. Let me know if it works for you, as I haven’t tried doing it yet.
.
1. 8 pints of water brought to a rolling boil (takes about 30-40 minutes)
.
2. Then add 4 lbs of honey and boil again for 1 hour stirring to stop burning and removing any scum that might appear [he’s written here that high grade honey gives more scum, but told me while he was writing that high grade gives less - just remove the scum however much it might be]
.
3. Prepare mead yeast (ask at any local wine merchant, if it helps it has a yellow packet with a cockerel on but I cannot remember its number) [I was told to buy Gervin Wine Yeast No. 5 Strain GV5, no idea what you’ll be able to find]
.
4. 1 pop sock full of ginger, smash it up and out it in mead [at this point, it should be transferred into a 15 litre fermentation tub and they advised using a muslin bag for the ginger rather than a sock]
.
5. Leave for about 10 days you will know because the yeast will settle and no gas shall escape
.
6. Leave yeast to settle for two weeks. It should go hard enough to pour mead without yeast. If not, filter with coffee filters
239 - November 23rd, 2007 at - PacificPam (Butterfly) Says:

@Ayumi-chan - Oh…japanese…crazy japanese hahahahahaha they have the pussy in a can thingy, weird.
.
@Alchemist - I will assume that you and your gf have a bizzare fetiche in which you make her dress as a sheep and then consumate!
240 - November 23rd, 2007 at - storm petrel Says:

Pam, Alchemist is from Yorkshire, apparently that explains it all…it’s real sheep he’s, fond, of…

Pages: « 1 … 8 9 10 11 [12] 13 14 15 16 … 17 » Show All

Contribute

The Church of the FSM is looking for content. Details here

RSS Feeds

All articles
Hate-mail

Support the Cause

The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.

Purchase the Gospel

An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American