Author and blogger John Scalzi has posted an amusing report of his visit to the Creation Museum.
Some time ago he said that he’d visit the museum, which was built near his home, on the condition that his readers donated $250, with the added incentive that any extra money would be given to Americans United for the Separation of Church and State. His readers came through and donated over $5000.
So he went, took a bunch of pictures, and posted a very thorough report.
An excerpt:
Here’s how to understand the Creation Museum:
Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit. And we’re not talking just your average load of horseshit; no, we’re talking colossal load of horsehit. An epic load of horseshit. The kind of load of horseshit that has accreted over decades and has developed its own sort of ecosystem, from the flyblown chunks at the perimeter, down into the heated and decomposing center, generating explosive levels of methane as bacteria feast merrily on vintage, liquified crap. This is a Herculean load of horseshit, friends, the likes of which has not been seen since the days of Augeas.
You can read his entire report here.
GOLD!
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Yeahhhh…That place sucks.
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Indeed, the excerpt is pure gold. I saw some pictures earlier and I could not stop laughing!
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Hahahahah…excellent description John Scalzi. Think I can face checking out your blog on that tone :))
RAmen
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Oh I learn something new everyday…
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“Did you know, for example, that Adam is responsible not only for the fall of man, but also for the creation of venom? It didn’t exist in the Garden of Eden, because, well. Why would it? Weeds? Adam’s fault. Carnivorous animals (and, one assumes, the occasional carnivorous plant)? Adam again. Entropy? You guessed it: Adam. Think about that, won’t you; eat one piece of fruit and suddenly you’re responsible for the inevitable heat death of the universe.”
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And here I was always thinking that it was all Eve’s fault! Well I did say I was a heathen :p
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Haha, very good!
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He Adam just learned real quick how to blame someone else for his actions :))
Nice opening: horseshit, loads of it :))
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Great article. And Scalzi’s right–chances are, the museum’s not going to change anybody’s mind, whatever their beliefs. So, let the creationists have their fun and their modern dinosaurs. As long as they keep in the museum and out of schools.
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Great article. Would really like to see the museum, such a load of crap, pity, I’m in Europe
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Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! Guess which great state the museum is located in? KENTUCKY!!! That’s just awesome. First the rattle-snake handler religion/cult, now this crap-tastic museum of “truth.” Wow, the state sure attracts them doesn’t it? (I’m curious about the museum. Might have to go to Kentucky just to see it. At the very least, I’m sure they have a killer gift shop that sells dinosaurs. I could get one for my nephew.)
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rmw: If you want the BEST dino-stuff, go to Drumheller, Alberta, Canada, home of the Royal Tyrell Museum. It doesn’t makes you swallow loads of creationist BS (or would that be HS) to get your toy T-rex. Hey, I just noticed… Drum-HELL-er. Hmmm. Ah, who cares, it has dinosaurs.
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@Dungeon Keeper–if I ever find my way back to Canada, I will try to go there. As it stands, I can drive an hour to Denver and see a pretty cool display, without having to deal with creationist crap. I just find it absolutely hilarious that Kentucky seems to be a hot-spot for…um…”different” religious beliefs. I do give the museum credit though–you’re chances of dying there seem to be pretty remote (unless of course, you’re not a creationist and you die of derisive laughter).
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I loved the essay. My only complaint was this.
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“It’s a little idiotic to establish as a ‘fact’ that both science and creationism acknowledge, say, that apes exist, but to paper over the difference in the set of ‘facts’ that explain how the apes got here, or to imply that a creationist assertion (apes created on the fifth day) is logically or systematically equivalent to decades of rigorous scientific process in the exploration of evolution.”
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Fifth day? Fifth? Not even the fundies believe that one! To fundies, apes were created on the sixth day, owing to the fact that they are neither birds or fish. (Unless the horsesh*t museum changed that one too! Do fundies think that apes have feathers, scales and/or gills now? Oh no! The poor quality of science education in the United States is worse than I feared!)
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Apes, much like fundies, fall under the “behemoth” category because they dwell on land and aren’t as smart as actual people. (Okay, I kid. The bible never calls fundies subhuman, that’ just me, and I’m joking.) For someone who spent a day in a museum devoted to creationism, I would have expected him to know what day apes were supposedly created on.
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Here’s a guide so that I don’t have to see anyone make that error again:
1.) Light and Darkness
2.) Sea and Sky (Both of them were made of water at this time. It may have been only with the sky 2.0 patch that ozone, nitrogen, and oxygen were released from closed beta.)
3.) Land
4.) The Sun, Moon, and stars.
5.) Fish and Birds. (Plants, conveniently, were not created in any of the seven days of creation. They are only mentioned in Genesis chapter 2 as being entities that god created but without a specific date given. I put it under day 5 because I wanted to put them with other living things, after the formation of the sun and land that they would feed off of.
6.) Behemoths and Humans. (Behemoths usually means large animals or monsters. However, the bible never gives a date for the creation of small animals either. In this case, I guess that large means “at least as big as an atom” and that caterpillars fall under the category of being large monsters… or fish… or birds… or plants.
7.) The Sabbath
-Avatar of Reason
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Awesome! I so want to go there now, just to laugh at the stupidity of these people. Sadly I can’t read the article now, since I am trapped in the centre of boredom and torture some call school, but it looks good from this post, so I’ll check it out when I get home.
And NOES!!! I missed out on the medals AGAIN!!!!
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And I just tried to look at the other messages and I can’t look at ANY OTHER ARTICLES! Damn filters…
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The blogger noted a placard with this inscriptoin:
“Djedkare Isesi, second to last pharaoh of the fifth dynasty, …”
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Clearly, the kid in the photo is a fan of the Bangles’ song, “Ride like an Egyptian”.
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@ Avatar
You mean mosquitos and other buzzy things don’t exist?
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Very nice, will have to see it one day. You know, in the same way you would poke a dead animal with a stick as a kid? Morbid curiosity.
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So when are we going to counter with FSM world?
None of that “museum” crap! Just a bid fuck of theme park! We can have a giant “octopus” ride in the middle called the Noodalator or something equally OTT.
The “Beer Volcano” log ride? I’m a little stumped for other ideas as I’ve only just come up with the concept. What would you guys like to see in the way of rides?
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Oh I got anther one! The Meat Ball! You get those inflatable balls you can roll around inside, then drop it into a tube system with a high air flow! You shoot through the pipe at high speeds bouncing around. Would be a cross between a rollercoaster and free fall.
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@Reasonable Avatar
Hi Avatar :)
“Plants, conveniently, were not created in any of the seven days of creation. They are only mentioned in Genesis chapter 2 as being entities that god created but without a specific date given. I put it under day 5 because I wanted to put them with other living things, after the formation of the sun and land that they would feed off of.”
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Well I’m pretty much completely ignorant to the Genesis creation timeline, but I was just reading at the Skeptic’s Annotated Bible yesterday (… or day before :p) a bit about those plants…
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http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/plants.html.
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and…
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http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/science/long.html
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…now I’m even more confused! Think I’ll stick to that evilutionary timeline :p)
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There’d obviously have to be a pirate ship ride. And how about a huge swimming pool with lots of noodly water slides?
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Mind you I’ve studied Botany (along side molec bio) for a few years, which covered plant evolution from the beginning and I do believe learning the Genesis version would have been so much quicker and easier! I probably could have had a high paying job at AiG by now :p Eeeeuw!!
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@ Jennyanydots- Genius! We could have a ship in a separate pool with a big fuck off wave machine and call it a storm simulator! That would rule. Better than those galleons that rock back and forth (obviously we would have one of those too). Give the feeling of a real stormy night on the & sea’s, water guns giving realistic spray too.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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@Noodly0ne- You’re young, what rides would you like to see?
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@ Wench Nickiee – but how highly paid would it have to be to make working for them worthwhile?
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Did I read load of horseshit somewhere?
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Stupid american fundies!
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That’s some shit!!
CC
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@Jennyanydots Nov 21st, 2007 at 3:43 pm
“but how highly paid would it have to be to make working for them worthwhile?”
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Hahahaha….me?…..not this little black duck :p) I was just feeling a little sarcastic. Been reading too much IDiot tripe past few days :(
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@Wench Nikkiee:
Woops! Genesis 1 DOES contain a reference to when plants were made. Thanks for pointing that out. I knew about the time discrepancy, but I must have forgotten when I wrote my prior post. (There are way too many discrepancies in the bible to keep track of them all.)
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As for the website that you linked to, some of their contradictions make good points. Others seem to be bad arguments based on deliberately misinterpreted verses. I once had a very interesting conversation with a pastor (which didn’t end well on account of my not being a Christian) in which we spent a considerable amount of time discussing the bible and science and the considerable conflicts between the two, and of course biblical contradictions. He said something that I thought was pretty cool in response to those who try to find biblical flaws. It doesn’t hold its own against the real ones, but it holds its own against some of the ones that I spotted on that website. He said “Using nothing but the words of the bible, I can prove that you should hang yourself. ‘Then he went and hanged himself’ ‘Go and do likewise.’” (Matthew 27:5) (Luke 10:37).
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The pastor’s comment was intended to teach about the importance of context. The first quote was about the fate of Judas. The second was from the tale of the Good Samaritan.
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In short, thanks for correcting me, but I wouldn’t rely too heavily on that website.
@Jennyanydots:
If God never created them, how can they exist? Unless they were created in the second and completely different creation story offered in Genesis 2. Were mosquitos intended to keep us company? Weird!
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hahahahaha….=)
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They were probably a punishment for eating apples, seems like everything that isn’t perfect and lovely is.
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You mean that whining noise and sucking blood is cos they just want to be friendly?
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Have to get your attention somehow.
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Couldn’t they just say hi and buy me a drink?
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Oh, and Nickiee – I already assumed the sarcasm, probably because most people would need an awful lot of money from them to work for them. Like maybe their entire evangelising budget so they couldn’t afford to tell people any of their ideas.
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Reasonable Avatar Nov 21st, 2007 at 4:11 pm
“Thanks for pointing that out.”
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Hahaha…wow…first time ever for me….I don’t really do much religion!
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“As for the website that you linked to, some of their contradictions make good points. Others seem to be bad arguments based on deliberately misinterpreted verses.”
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I agree. Was my first visit where I actually read a bit of stuff there and …erm…wasn’t that impressed with the strength of most of those examples there either. Did see a few other similar type pages on that trip (can’t remember where ) that were a bit more interesting. Can’t even remember why I was at those sites in the first place…off on some tangent no doubt.
I did like the four legged insect examples I came across though. :)
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Jennyanydots .
“Oh, and Nickiee – I already assumed the sarcasm”
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Thanks (:))
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“most people would need an awful lot of money from them to work for them.”
Well that and the fact the Disco Institution certainly made Behe and Dembsky famous. More names to follow too I think! :(
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And here I was thinking that you were talking about a club with disco Music, Wench Nikkiee…
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I have to learn more gringo culture.
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My fundamentalist brother-in-law lives near this thing. For our Family Reunion this summer he proudly announced that he had arranged a special tour of the Creation Museum for the whole family! We tried to be as tactful as we could (they are relatives) by quickly deciding that we had PROMISED to take our kids to the Aquarium that same morning. My girls came back from the aquarium with some beautiful plush toy snakes they had fallen in love with at the gift shop. They were promptly informed by one of my brother-in-law’s numerous kids that “snakes are the devil’s creatures”. I worry for those kids. Perhaps I will send them pirate hats for Holiday.
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RAmen
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Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out
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Problem is, when you say discovery, it sounds like they actually look for something, not just reading the bible.
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@ Ubi Dubium, don’t forget toy swords or eye patches to go with the hats.
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@ Ubi Dubium – How about getting really subversive and sending any boy aged between say 6-10 a nice dinosaur book, and give the fsm gospel to the eldest couple of kids, with maybe a cuddly fsm to the youngest.
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@PacificPam (Butterfly)
“And here I was thinking that you were talking about a club with disco Music, Wench Nikkiee…”
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Well it could have I suppose…
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storm petrel
I agree with you…kinda makes ya feel unclean having to write that when referring to those IDiots!
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Now I get it, storm petrel.
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I am totally slow today…
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Before this museum opened, we had been sending them toy dinosaurs. But now, I think they are just putting saddles on them. If I sent the kids copies of the Gospel, the parents would just take them away, and probably have a book burning. So I have to be subtle about it. I need to find gifts that encourage the kids to think for themselves, but that the parents won’t think is suspicious. Not easy.
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Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out.
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If any of them are old enough to be into science fiction introduce them to Asimov, see how long it takes for them to find his essay ‘the armies of the night’.
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I’ve seen the same essay titled ‘The ”threat” of creationism’, which is why you have to let them find it themselves, if the parents saw that title you’d probably have book burning and the kids banned from reading his stuff forever.
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hmm, perhaps we can come up with a list of suitable gifts for different ages to encourage kids to develop their own ideas. Actually, I hope it isn’t going to happen to the level of extremism you find in fundamentalism but my cousin’s 5 year old is probably edging into the category of being taught there’s only one answer, so if we come up with anything suitable for him I’ll probably take you up on suggestions from here.
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Just to start off with a couple – I still reckon dinosaurs are a good way into it for a lot of them, but if that isn’t acceptable I know over here you can get stuff aimed at under 10s that looks at archaeology and egyptology. The egyptian stuff can be helpful because the parents might assume it’s good because they can tie it to biblical references but if the kids get interested they start looking at evidence of a number of other different histories. Or, if they’re into animals, adopt a chimpanzee on their behalf and let the information supplied by the organisation tell them about how chimps are our closest relatives and must be protected. The original gift can’t be seen as suspicious, and once that’s accepted, it would be rather difficult for the parents to then say that they aren’t allowed to read the updates sent out.
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Thanks SP – I hadn’t heard of that one before. For anyone else who’s interested, I just found the article reprinted here – http://www.stephenjaygould.org/ctrl/azimov_creationism.html
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@ Ubi Dubium- Bye them personalised children’s bible filled with lot of little subversive comments.
“And on the 7th day god created atheist!”
“Do unto other… all the nasty shit you claim to find morally adherent”
“And Jesus said to the masses ‘you know that son of god stuff is meant to be symbolic? Now who wants Cod in bread crumb? I’m staving”
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Or better yet take them to FSM world, soon to be the world premier pasta based attraction! (I just have to build it first)
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Any fundie kids who like reptiles could be introduced to Tuataras, a living fossil, has a third eye and everything, the rest of the Order became extinct about 60m years ago, before the Earth was created ;>. http://nzphoto.tripod.com/animal/tuatara.htm
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