After going through your website, I find that is is ostensibly possible that the world was put into existence by the grace of his noodly goodness. However, I find that your interpretation of the inferred evidence is distinctly biased. Who is to say that the divine noodly appendage did not belong to a Flying Chow Mein Monster, complete with fish balls, instead of the purported meatballs. Indeed, it seems the church of FSM has a definite racial slant, as you have disregarded the cultures of the east. How is it that the FSM created the entire world, when historical evidence clearly indicates that Chinese noodles preceded spaghetti by at least 700 years, and much of the academic community asserts that Europe derived the idea of pasta from Chinese noodles.
I am not Chinese, but I perturbed that a progressive religionists such as pastafarians can fall victim to such bigotry.
Do you offer any explanation to this misrepresentation of fact?
Deeply concerned but curious,
Anik
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Anik: As it is said n the gospel, there’s no possible way to tell what kind of pasta The flying spaghetti monster, therefore we don’t know, and maybe we’re not meant to. So, if it’s ok with you, he COULD be made of Chinese noodles
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He is beyond and before all forms of pasta. You’re the one who is bigoted, only thinking about how further you can oppress the people of the noodle.
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SILVER!
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Ummm, I mean bronze.
Anik, I agree with pastaman, FSM could be made of chinese noodles. Nothing says he isn’t. And anyway, how do you know chinese noodles came first? FSM could have changed the evidence with his noodly apendage
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I didn’t know it actually mattered WHAT type of pasta He was. He is made of noodles. Whether they are Chinese or Italian, or they came from Timbuktu, He is great, He created everything, He is awesome.
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The FSM takes the form of any dish He wishes. At the moment he chooses to take the form of Spaghetti & Meatballs. He may have taken on the form of something else in the past & he may take the form of something else in the future. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow we could end up worshipping the Flying Baked Beans On Toast Monster, if His Noodliness wills it.
.
St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Fart Jokes
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Guys, guys,
Let us not quibble about whether he is of noodle or pasta, meatball or bolognese – surely He speaks to us in all lanuages and touches us in all manner of pasta-based ways
rAmen
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Let’s not be another one of those groups that excludes people because of the ethnicity of their deity. The FSM represents all pasta: whole wheat and white; european and asian; fettucine, rigatoni, and macaroni elbows. That’s the great thing about the FSM… now god and jesus… that whole white thing… that’s some kind of controversy!
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The Gospel praises Ramen for the nourishment it provides to college students and Pirates. No one is denying how the FSM presented himself in Asia. However, it is impossible to convey in a concise name all the pasta/noodle/complex carbohydrate forms that Our Creator can take.
Tonight He presented Himself on my dinner plate as Bowtie pasta. Who am I, a humble wench, to question this?
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At the moment membership is too low to consider this issue. Please re-raise the point when in a few years when there are enough pastafarians to sustain a good, old-time religion style schism.
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@Adam
“At the moment membership is too low to consider this issue. Please re-raise the point when in a few years when there are enough pastafarians to sustain a good, old-time religion style schism.”
.
CoFSM is much more mature than that. We’ve had our schism: the well-intentioned but misguided macaroniites claime He was made of macaroni and left our church. Chinese noodles and fish balls are fine of course, that might well prove to have a very good basis in true fact. But macaroni? You’ve got to bekidding! The whole universe, the earth and life on earth created by a bunch of macaroni? Who on FSMs (or FCNMs) green earth would believe that?!
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@DPG
I have to agree, it would be nonsensical for Him to be made of macaroni. His appendages wouldn’t be long enough to spread all over the earth to touch us all!
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It doesn’t matter. It’s all for fun. Not to be taken seriously. Who knows maybe the almight FSM could be an almighty FCMM (Flying chow mein monster) after all.
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“How is it that the FSM created the entire world, when historical evidence clearly indicates that Chinese noodles preceded spaghetti by at least 700 years, and much of the academic community asserts that Europe derived the idea of pasta from Chinese noodles.”
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Just think of it as it took 700 years for man to be touched enough to properly portray his true image in a way that is both easy on the eyes and stomach.
RAmen
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post #14 that makes me Silicon by the periodic table rules.
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@Scuba/DPG
Don’t be too quick to dismiss macaroni; scientists are considering a recent theory that all matter is made up from quantum-sized macaroni-shaped loops of energy that take on different physical properties dependant upon the medium they occupy.
Macro-sized macaroni elbows are merely a four-dimensional representation of these fundamental energy loops that He has left as a clue to the make-up of his noodly universe.
Are there any physicists out there who can expand on this? (no undergrads please)
:-)
Pasta Dutchie
From the lef’ han’ side
rAmen
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@ Pasta Dutchie
But how do you know that it’s not really a bunch of noddly strings formed into the shape of Macaroni?
{grabbing at strings, pun intended}
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@Pasta Dutchie
Please read the Gospel of the FSM. Super Spaghetti String theory is all revealed in it. But sorry, it is spaghetti string theory, not macaroni super string theory.
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If you don’t like the answer you can ignore it. I have a PhD, but in Materials Science, not Physics :p
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Chinese, Italian. Who cares? It’s all good.
.
@Pasta Dutchie–I guess then that bowtie pasta theory isn’t acceptable?
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@Adam–yeah, because we’ve all see how well religious schisms have worked in the past! ;-)
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rmw
Nov 16th, 2007 at 3:01 am
Chinese, Italian. Who cares? It’s all good.
.
@Pasta Dutchie–I guess then that bowtie pasta theory isn’t acceptable?
*
Only for formal occasions :)
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Oh Dear…..
@ Scuba Steve
- You got me – noodle theory is certainly more elegant and doesn’t suffer from the messy interstitial pasta sauce issues
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@ DPG
- I’m going hunting tomorrow – apparently there’s a bookstore in Brisbane that stocks it, but I think I’m gonna need the hardback edition (I went through three copies of The Hitch-hiker’s Guide before I got a hardback(hardcover))
.
@rmw
- Fear not! bowtie pasta is an uncannily accurate model of both the initial rapid expansion of the universe (see, again He has made pasta not only in His own image, but left it as a clue to the fabric of the universe) and of the contraction of mass in a blackhole
.
rAmen
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Bowtie theory is associated with Big Bash theory.
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@ RDPW
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” Only for formal occasions”
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NOW I get it!
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LOL.
.
rAmen
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The CoFSM is demonstrably not bigotted towards Asians.
Pirates are His chosen people.
25% of piratical attacks occur in Indonesia.
Therefore a full quarter of His Noodlinesses chosen people are in fact Asian.
QED.
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Let us not forget what happened to our fallen comrade for suggesting his “Parmesan Cheese” theroy. May he drink the coldest of beer from the volcano and fornicate with the highly recommended Double D stripper Candy.
RAmen
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@ID LOL–”Let us not forget what happened to our fallen comrade for suggesting his “Parmesan Cheese” theroy. May he drink the coldest of beer from the volcano and fornicate with the highly recommended Double D stripper Candy.
RAmen”
.
I’m sorry, did I miss something? I’m lost.
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Are you calling me a racist?
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Also, remember that FSM plays with time when he is drunk, so there is a possibility that he bent time to make it appear as if chinese noodles were created before Pasta!
.
Sometimes I am drunk and I play with time…TiVO! don’t you love it?
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Wow. The great wisdom of an idiot with a thesaurus.
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Cap’n Bob the Spanky Nov 16th, 2007 at 3:41 am
The CoFSM is demonstrably not bigotted towards Asians.
Pirates are His chosen people.
25% of piratical attacks occur in Indonesia.
Therefore a full quarter of His Noodlinesses chosen people are in fact Asian.
QED.
.
.
.
.
Or asian pirates got ADHD, that’s another possibility
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I agree that the creator of the universe may appear in different forms, and since scientific/quantitative data is transformed at his will we should stick to one name, the FSM, lest his holiness becomes angry.
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either way, he tastes great
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Oh ye of little (or none,whatever)) Faith! If ever our GREAT NOODLENESS changes his mind (?) about Being benevolent & instantly becomes malovelent (( did I spell that right? )), He may feed all of ya’ll to something from, say, from and old Flash Gordon flick. Huh? Get what you Doubtin’Thomases got comin’. Put us Belivers in-charge-of-your-asses.Ha! The ones of you left after our Jubilation. After our Rapture,our At – Oneness with FSM.
luv
Disciple Bob
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Yea, if your faith be as an acomo pepe ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. And yea, do ye not forget to move also the trees and the midgets with the mountain.
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As for the FSM incarnating as Chinese noodles and fishballs, not even the Játakas (Book of Noodles’ or ‘noodle stories’) support such a premise! It smacks of heresy; pray you that you be not smacked.
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Anik, may you be touched by His noodly appendage, that you shall no more offer sauce unto cellophane noodles, after whom you have gone a-pirating. This shall be a statute for ever unto you throughout your generations.
RAmen.
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Wow.
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That was deep…..
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I do like the earlier idea of the end of the world coming in a series of pasta-sauce based catastrophes, especially if ultimately we all meet His Noodliness in FSM Heaven with a beer volcano etc. etc.
.
Do you think they’ll serve appetisers?
.
rAmen
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Anyone who believes that FSM is made of macaroni or asian noodles or any other non-sanctioned semolina product is undeniably sending their soul straight to anti-pasta hell. Any such heresy must be expunged from the church immediately lest some rigatoni fanatic starts nailing 95 recipes to my beloved Colacci’s Restaurant/Temple. This is no time to go soft on doctrine. Heretics must be boiled alive until al dente so that FSM can save them. My delicious lunch has confirmed all that I have said.
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This has been an interesting discussion but, as a recent convert, I have a question which is becoming more urgent as the minutes pass:
Will it offend the FSM if I have shrimp in my sketti tonight?
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@ Real Dutch Pasta Man
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“This is no time to go soft on doctrine.”
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This is exactly the time to go soft on doctrine! The softer the better! Flimsy moral standards, straight from our great noodly Master!
We must not boil Heretics, but only dogma and fundamentalism. Boil them until they are nicely al dente, and serve them up with parmesan and sarcasm. All noodles are equally noodly, no matter their shape or composition. “Samey-Samey” (from the Third “I’d Really Rather you Didn’t”).
So lets leave hellfire and damnation and rigid thinking to my fundamentalist brother-in-law. After all, even the Pirate Code is only more like guidelines, really.
.
RAmen
.
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out.
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Ubi Dubium : Agreed! After all there are no commandments in our religion, only I-rather-you-didn’ts :))
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@Fromz – No….He doesn’t care…he lets you do what you want….I live in the tropics, all I get is seafood so we have seafood even in pasta and rice and all that sort of stuff….yeah, my point is…no worries dude!
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@Ubi Dubium “This is exactly the time to go soft on doctrine! The softer the better! Flimsy moral standards, straight from our great noodly Master!”
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Absolutely!
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I am reassured to see that most of our fellow pastafarians refuse a “sex of the angels” discussion maintaining thus the CoFSM clearly apart from the false religions.
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Wait a minute, I thought RAmen was Chinese! I doubt we’re as biased as we look :).
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You all must remember that the FSM has existed since the origin of the universe, the chinese noodles and the spaghetti are the culinary representation of the holy archetype.
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dude, ya. I totally get what your saying, but the end of our prayers is RAmen. And ramen is chinese. so we are not biased. we love the chinese! they gave us great noodly yumminess!
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Anik, if you had studied thoroughly you would know that His Noodliness can, and does, change all historical ‘fact’ and ‘evidence’ to suit Himself. Why? because He can!
RAmen
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1-religion doesnt have to make sense.
2-you just need to have faith.
3-contradictions are no problem.(see 1 & 2)
4-you can get away with anything in the religion business.
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Thanks Bobby.
.
Paul M.
Windsor, Ontario
Canada…confirmed Pirate.
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I swear were not biased! I love chinese! and his noodly goodness made the chinese. So of course he loves them!
peace love and pirates
RAmen
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The FSM is the FSM. We only say he is made of spaghetti noodles because we can think of no other way to describe His Noodly Holiness. His noodles are the most divine to ever have existed; humanity has no such capacity as to comprehend His full Noodly Nature.
We just think it looks most like spaghetti. So we call it that.
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Many call him by different names, being the one who created the universe. The chinese may refer to him as noodle soup or something if thats the kind of food he looks like to them then that’s great, but to us he appears to be a spaghetti monster. This is from our cultural bias, but whose to say the chinese refering to him as noodle soup isn’t cultural bias too. It’s what he looks like to us, we just understand that many others view him differently and we accept that
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