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Pastafarianism vs. Christianity

Published October 14th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

I received this email from Pastafarian Chelsea:

The following is direct quote by Mark Coppenger, a pastor who teaches at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, courtesy of the article by Dan Vergano in USA Today, Spaghetti Monster is noodling around with faith.

“I’m happy to say I think FSM hurts the evolutionists’ program since, by mocking the Christian tradition … it reinforces the correct impression that there is genuine contempt for biblical faith in that camp. Besides, the parody is lame, and there are few things more encouraging than cheap shots from one’s opponents.”

I’m sorry if Christians find the belief that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe “lame,” but –correct me if I’m wrong- Christians believe that a cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple of discernment from a magical tree. And they think the idea that a decrease in pirates caused global warming is ridiculous?

The best lesson learned in life is to challenge the limitations of our mental capacities. If knowledge is a sin, let us burn in hell for eternity with the satisfaction that we aren’t superstitous, ignorant bigots.

I think Chelsea makes a good point. Also, I think that Pastafarianism has grown much larger than a response to the ID-evolution debate.



85 Responses to “Pastafarianism vs. Christianity”

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  1. Peg says:

    “How about you buy yourself a Bible and start reading it from the beginning, then you will understand…”

    This has to be the funniest post I’ve seen all week.

    • SillyKiwiMan says:

      Agreed.

      Funny how many different types of “true” christians there are.

      And yes, I am disrespectful towards religion. What’s the surprise there? I’m supposed to play nice with the retards in case I offend them while they’re condemning me to hell?

  2. Pete Byrdie says:

    Untamed01 said;
    “You said to correct you if you were wrong, and that I shall do. No true Christian believes that they will live forever. Jesus Christ, or the “Jewish zombie” as referred to him by, which by the way is down right disrespectful and insulting of you, he didn’t say you would live forever, he said you would have eternal life. How about you buy yourself a Bible and start reading it from the beginning, then you will understand…instead of criticizing”

    Thankyou! Now it all makes perfect sense. Yes, the phrase ‘jewish zombie’ probably is disrespectful and insulting. If you don’t want to hold beliefs that people are disrespectful about, hold rational beliefs. If you going to believe drivel, accept your beliefs being insulted. As you would have to if you were a peer-reviewed scientist.

  3. zelco says:

    ok first Christianity was made in the old age were they thought everything was magical like if you got sick and you survived from it they would be like omg god saved you when in all honest reality it was your own body that saved you that fought off the sickness not some magical being that apparently made the world in 4 days like really if there was a god would he really allow all this violence and sin on this world as you can see im an atheist so i dont believe in any god but i have more seance than a christian because its messed up you believe that god will save you from everything when its really you that does abd you eat or apparently eat the body of Christ when you go to church and drink his blood or what is really wine and water which sounds messed up it really is

  4. Excelsior says:

    I have many Christian friends and I have tried several denominations and have read the Bible all the way through. I can give you a comprehensive account of my understanding of Christianity.
    Firstly: Nearly all religious people worship because they were brain-washed from birth. If you don’t agree then try to explain why Christian families produce only Christians, Muslim families produce only Muslims etc. and not vice-versa? That’s why religions don’t allow birth control. Their motto is: The more the better!
    Secondly: Fear of Hell! I know many Christians who doubt their religion but keep worshipping because as they say: “It’s better to be safe than sorry!”
    Thirdly: Churches are run like a community club-house catering to all your needs like singing, dancing, celebrating, boy/girl scouts, marriages, funerals, dating, and all sorts of activities. A Church is like a big warm family!
    Fourthly: As religions go, after evolving for many centuries modern Christianity is very civilized and I consider it an important ally against those evil cults like ISIS, Boko Haram, Taliban, ALqaeda etc.
    Finally: Those mainstream religions are so stupid and an insult to my intelligence. For instance they say that without the Ten Commandments we wouldn’t know that it was wrong to murder! My conscience is much more reliable than the Bible! Do you know how many people were murdered in the Bible? I’m so glad that Prophet Bob established Pastafaria for us so we can worship reason!

    • mike pipkin says:

      excelsior, ramen to that. and congratulations on passing the endurance test of reading through all that meaningless drivel. most other saints have suffered less. ramen, again.

      • zelco says:

        if you can prove to me god exist and have him come talk to me then ill believe till then ill stay atheist i just dont see any reason to believe in a book that was written about 3 thousand years ago

        • Rasputin says:

          Dear Zelco, String Theory is an essential part of physicists’ understanding of the universe. This demonstrates that the FSM actually exists, whereas an old bearded god in a white robe does not. The FSM is real, His existence is verified by science. All other gods are false. Please do not be an athiest. Join us and spread the saucery.

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      @Excelsior, RÁmen to your comments about the Ten Commandments. The CoFSM website suffered a few years ago from someone who imagined *they* were Yahweh and – forgetting the Eleventh – thunderously posted the first Ten commandments. Some years ago, I was taught, as part of karate training, a simpler and more comprehensive set of rules:
      *Seek perfection of character (should go beyond no swearing, adultery, lying, or covetousness: III, VI, IX, X)
      *Be faithful (to more than Yahweh and the Sabbath; I, II, IV))
      *Endeavour to excel (didn’t even come up)
      *Respect others (besides mom and dad: V, Christ’s XI: Love thy neighbor, is closest, rarely mentioned in modern Christendom, especially if your neighbor is gay)
      *Refrain from violent behavior (murder and theft forbidden: VI, VIII; an obvious but kinda small start)

      • Excelsior says:

        Dear Frederic
        As you can see, the ten Commandments does not have a monopoly on morality. Even Jimminy Cricket (see the cartoon film “Pinochio”) said “Always let your conscience be your guide!” (Don’t do anything you’ll be sorry for.)
        I believe the greatest single invention to ensure morality is The Golden Rule. It was invented by the great Chinese sage Confucius 550 years before Christ was born. The writers of the Bible knew it’s value and plagiarized it!
        One Golden Rule is worth a hundred Ten Commandments!

        • Rasputin says:

          Adolf Hitler was an abstemious non-smoking, non-drinking vegetarian. It’s been postulated that he never had sex with Eva Braun or any other woman. That’s where morality takes you. World history would be different if the guy had lightened up, kicked back a few brews, watched some strippers, employed some Jewish joke writers and got himself laid. Fornication and beer are good for the soul. I’m not promoting the use of drugs, but he should have smoked pot and listened to a bit of reggae.

        • Keith says:

          Actually , there are more than ten commandments. The commandments written on the stones that Moses broke were not the ten so often quoted. The ones in Exodus 34 are supposedly the authoritative ones.

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          Keith, thanks – interesting. I did look in Exodus 34 and the instructions there do look different and more – er – ancient. But *everything* in the Bible is authoritative, isn’ t it???

    • Apprentice Frederic says:

      …and the Eight IRRYD’s have been added by Prophesy more recently….

      • Excelsior says:

        FREDERIC
        IF God had written the Eight IRRYD’s on the stone tablets instead of the “Ten Commandments” the world would be a much better place than it is today!

        • Apprentice Frederic says:

          The FSM moves in mysterious ways….

  5. zelco says:

    to all christens: According to traditional Christianity, the material world is full of sinful temptations that can lead a person from the path of salvation. These things are the comforts of life: good food, sex, luxury items and so forth. Why create them and then tell people not to enjoy them?

    • Rasputin says:

      The Jewish/Christian/Muslim god is a complete c*nt, like a sick-in-the-head parent who takes his/her childrens’ toys and smashes them one by one. “You’re not having anything you enjoy because I said so”. On the other hand the FSM says we’re allowed everything we could wish for. As for the improvement of humanity, I go along with the 18th century economist, Adam Smith: Be industrious, have a free society and everything flows from that. I love the phrase “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”.

      • Excelsior says:

        Rasputin
        The God you’re talking about has a very serious case of schizophrenia.
        First he helped the Jews for thousands of years, liberating them from the Egyptians, Babylonians, etc.etc. and led them to the promised land.
        Then he proselytized to Christianity and helped the crusaders beat back Islam and forgot all about the Jews! When Hitler murdered 6 million Jews God didn’t lift a finger to help them.
        Now it seems God has prosyletized again. When the Boko Haram kidnapped hundreds of Christian school-girls, forced them under threat of torture to convert to Islam, and then sold them for sex-slaves, once again God didn’t lift a finger to help them!
        Now you devout worshippers, please tell me: Is he the God of the Jews? or God of the Christians? or God of the Muslims? If God can change his religion why can’t you?
        Our Flying Spaghetti Monster wouldn’t do anything as nasty as to betray us like that. The FSM will always remain faithful to us Pastafarians! Come and join us!!

  6. zelco says:

    ill think about worshiping the FSM but ill look into it

  7. zelco says:

    can someone inform me on the FSM religion and how it runs

    • bruceo says:

      Yes.

  8. Rev. Chamberlain says:

    zelco, you apparently aren’t very familiar with the concept of websites. May I suggest you read ours, starting with the “About” section. If our non-judgmental and delicious dogma appeals to you, send your tithes to the Prophet Bobby (sauce be upon him), and if you need a loan for same, there are some attractive offers right here in the comments section. R’Amen.

    • Rasputin says:

      Yes Zelco, It’s a website. Read and enjoy. You’re welcome to join our fraternity, be nice to people, eat pasta and drink beer. What’s not to like?

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