lots of questions

Published October 7th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

-not really hatemail or criticism, more like skepticism, but I didn’t know where to put this -

1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?

2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.

3.how can FSM fly?

4.how can FSM stay clumped together?

5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?

6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?

7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)

8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.

9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.

just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.



126 Responses to “lots of questions”

  1. Capt'n Spahgz says:

    You don’t have to know
    there is this liddle word that starts with an f and ends in an aith
    (if you are confused the word is)
    FAITH
    FAITH FAITH FAITH FAITH FAITH
    we believe and that makes it real for us
    we do not question his noodliness
    we just have FAITH and BELIEVE that he is omnipotent
    RAmen

  2. Capt'n Spahgz says:

    YE OF LITTLE FAITH

  3. Keegan says:

    1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
    He placed his image in our minds and somehow we got food.

    2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
    We had really bad understanding of the images he presented us with, and got short, weird looking pasta.

    3.how can FSM fly?
    That’s like asking, “how can Spiderman shoot web from his wrist?”
    He got bitten by a mutated spider. Duhh.

    4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
    Have you never seen/touched a noodle that got left out for an hour?
    He remains in that state, never turning to that hard, gross pasta you get when you leave it out all night.

    5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
    Same as above. It just didn’t register in the initial plan of pasta.

    6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
    They were also bitten by a mutated spider.

    7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
    This is true.
    “Dwarves” as they were once called, were once a thriving civilization with prosperous lands and great wealth. This was all taken away though when humans charged in and killed almost all of them. The gene still makes its way somehow from generation to generation.

    8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
    I’m not those scientists, and I don’t know them, so I don’t know if they really said it. But as “St John” pointed out, they probably have information and all that somewhere. I’m just too lazy to find it.

    9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
    Well the FSM certainly has bigger balls than my god, considering teapots don’t have balls. Unless you count tea balls..But either way, the tea ball wouldn’t fit if it were bigger than FSM’s balls.

    -Keegan

  4. ~*~*Big Jay*~*~ says:

    1. how could an invisible MAN create ANYTHING without the all might Uterus?
    2. His noodly goodness made the world which made the rice, then the noodles. The noodles are then representations of him much like how the Catholics have statues of Saints when clearly the real Saints existed before the statues. Plus, we can eat out representations haha.
    3. again, his noodly goodness created the universe. what? he cant even do something as easy as fly?
    4. come on, his noodly goodness has been around for quite some time. have you ever left spaghetti and meatballs out for a few days and drop it by accident? I bet they were sticking just as his noodly goodness does.
    5. when in doubt see question 2.
    6. what are you talking about? the meatballs are in the sockets of his body much like how our eyeballs are stuck in the sockets of our skulls. Im starting to wonder if the eyeballs are the only thing in your head right now.
    7. explains evolution quite well I think. (I THINK, YOU dont.)
    8. Yes and neither would they say that we came from a MAN either…well maybe unless God is a woman but that would piss off the Christians just as much. And plus, you haven’t read out book either. We did not evolve from our creator (look at what we call him idiot!). HE CREATED US
    9. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE BALLS HANGING FROM OUR CREATOR?!?!? ITS EVEN BIGGER THAN THE PICTURE OF GOD PAINTED BY MICHAELANGELO IN THE SISTINE CHAPEL!!! IN FACT GOD DOES NOT HAVE BALLS AT ALL NOR A UTERUS!! Ours have balls and balls are need to f@$k p0$$15 like you.
    10.

  5. melissa says:

    1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
    fsm created earth then placed images in our mind of him then we made pasta

    2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
    when fsm made earth after his image was in our minds we tried to make pasta some of it came out to short though
    3.how can FSM fly?
    fsm flies becuase his godly power allows him to

    4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
    his godly power pulls it together kindof like gravity but not exactly

    5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
    we made them in his image

    6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
    his power holds them their kinof like its holding the noodles
    7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)yes migets were made b4 people of normal hight but they were not ableto defend themselves when humans came the bloodline is still there though

    9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
    well does the christin god have balls almost as bug as his whole body? no he doesnt fsm does so his balls are bigger! duh

  6. Darth Noodle says:

    My one and only question to the Christians is this:
    If we are all decended from Adam and Eve and they were the only humans created at first, then why aren’t we all mentally handicapped due to 4,000 years of incest?

    (4,000 years is the estimate for Christians for when Earth was created. I think…)

  7. Seosamh says:

    if humans invented God, then how did he create the universe, as the universe came before humans?

  8. Wench Nikkiee says:

    But Seosamh, the FSM created the universe and the FSM was not created by humans.
    I’m sure if you could just open yourself up to feel of His Noodly Appendage you would know His truth.
    RAmen

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