lots of questions

Published October 7th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

-not really hatemail or criticism, more like skepticism, but I didn’t know where to put this -

1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?

2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.

3.how can FSM fly?

4.how can FSM stay clumped together?

5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?

6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?

7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)

8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.

9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.

just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.



126 Responses to “lots of questions”

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  1. Alchemist says:

    Seosamh.
    .
    if humans invented God, then how did he create the universe, as the universe came before humans?
    .
    That’s a pretty simple question to answer. Most folks here will say “he didn’t, because there is no god!”

  2. glory says:

    Very nice work, admin :) Good luck!

  3. gjg says:

    Very effective. Thanx.i

  4. pheer6224 says:

    You should ask his noodlyness.

  5. Pesto says:

    I agree with pheer, join us and you can ask the FSM in heaven.

  6. Garrick McElroy says:

    First of all, I respect you for inquiring instead of just blasting us. I will attempt to answer all of your questions.

    1.how could the FSM create the earth when earth made noodles?
    Common misconception, He created noodles in His Noodly Image. We just didn’t discover them until later.

    2.rice came before noodles, and rice didn’t come before earth was there.
    I don’t understand what you’re asking.

    3.how can FSM fly?
    He created gravity, so He can change it’s properties therein.

    4.how can FSM stay clumped together?
    We aren’t really sure, but my theory is that His Sauce is quite sticky, and that is how His Noodles stay clumped.

    5.meatballs weren’t around before rice, rice was before meat balls. again, how does he have meatballs on/near FSM if earth created meatballs?
    Another common misconception, He created Meatballs in His Image, so as to put with our spaghetti in the holiest of meals. He gave someone the idea.

    6.if the meat balls aren’t touching FSM, how do they float?
    Same thing with gravity.

    7.on a drawing it says FSM created midgets before people of average hight, is that how it worked?(possibly, i am not one to comprehend stories/pics of all those worshipped)
    He simply did. It’s like asking why did you plug up the monitor to the computer before turning it on, it doesn’t really matter, you get the same end result.

    8.on the “proof” page, it just has scientists saying that if you believe evolution, you should worship FSM, you probably made those.How can i tell? well no scientist would ever say we evolved from a giant spaggeti(once again, pardon my mispelling) clump that can/could fly after all the evidence we found of our ancient ansestors.
    These scientists are not saying that FSMism and Evolution go hand in hand, what they’re saying is that if you teach Creationism in schools, you also have to teach FSMism as it has the same merit.

    9. on the “about” page, you said something like,”everyone can agree my god has bigger balls than yours.” You must not take this seriously.
    That is simply a fact. The Christian’s God’s testicles (the only balls on his body) are no where near as large as the FSM’s Meatballs (the only balls on HIS body).

    just a few questions and facts. don’t answer any with,”i don’t know”,”he just can”,”magic”,”miracle” or anything like that, period.

    I hope this has enlightened you!

    Here’s to hoping His Noodly Appendage touches you and may His Sauce rain down upon you,
    -GM
    RAmen

    If you have any questions about or just want to discuss the existence of the FSM, you can reach me at kanastag@comcast.net

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