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Hindu questions about FSM

Published October 17th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Some Questions sent by Ram. I am putting it in this section just because I want to (maybe you guys can help me answer his questions):

Iam a student. Iam from india. I am a Hindu. I am quite happy with my religion and respect all other religons. But your Spaghetti monster? I don’t understand. i visited your website, but it says so little of your religion.

i want to know the foolowing things?

What or Who is this Spaghetti monster?

What is this monster up to? what does he want? (according to you)

How did he contact you?

Does he Talk?

Do you have any proof? if show please show me.

Why do you use ‘ironic words’? Preachers don’t really use such words. they are polite and atleast sound enlightened one. you sound more like a minister demanding for votes.

This monster of yours is made of pasta?

Is this monster a good monster or is he spreading evil?

Why a pirate ship? pirates do have 99.9 % dna similar to humans. well, my great great grand father had 99.999999% DNA similar to humans. so what? What i mean to ask is Pirates were evils, they plundered and killed. if at all they are extinct today. it is cool. with time they will. everything will. But why pirates . Why?

I believe in God, sir and i have no intentions in hurting you, but it is silly to believe in what is not so clear. I don’t really believe in scientific evidences, but yes i do have my own way of finidng things out. some sort of spirituality involved.
Coincidently, Indian lores have many written records of universal birth that resembles to big bang theory. they have perfect calculations of earth’s rev. and rot. all this was written more than a thousands years which also includes physics, maths, geo, medicine and spirituality. But there is no mention of Your monster. you know and the world knows Hindus have the longest written history and records than any one else. Not even eygptians. And all of them are accurate till date, some are under research. American scientist have also discovered a man-made birdge dated thousands of yrs ago called ram-sethu (in india) which also has written records in ancient books, including the man who built it. if it is all this. How come they miss your monster?

Iam not preaching my religion Sir. please answer my question. i shall me thankful to you as my questions haunt me than the ghosts? Ghosts? don’t dont haunt me at all !

God bless you

Ram
Goa
India



90 Responses to “Hindu questions about FSM”

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  1. someone says:

    For your information kid.
    Ram-sethu is a not a man made structure it is a natuarelly formed one. It has been proved by NASA and Gelogical Survey of India.

    an Indian atheist who was formrely a Hindu

  2. dantes_torment says:

    Drat, my gold was taken due to an accursed premature enter key. Oh well.

    “What or Who is this Spaghetti monster?”
    -He is the creator of all things and embodiment of all that is holy.
    .
    “What is this monster up to? what does he want? (according to you)”
    -Right now He just hangs out, gets drunk, and watches over us
    .
    “How did he contact you?”
    -He contacted Bobby, who told us of him.
    .
    “Does he Talk?”
    -Not much.
    .
    “Do you have any proof? if show please show me.”
    -We have a very convincing graph showing the relationship between the decline of seafaring pirates(His chosen people) and temperature increase.
    .
    “Why do you use ‘ironic words’? Preachers don’t really use such words. they are polite and at least sound enlightened one. you sound more like a minister demanding for votes.”
    -We are actually considerably more polite than most ministers I’ve met.
    .
    “This monster of yours is made of pasta?”
    -As indicated by His title, yes. But it’s much more sophisticated than that. He has found that the best form to materialize in is that of spaghetti.
    .
    “Is this monster a good monster or is he spreading evil?”
    -Don’t let the word “monster” throw you off, ours is a benevolent and peaceful god.
    .
    “Why a pirate ship? pirates do have 99.9 % dna similar to humans. well, my great great grand father had 99.999999% DNA similar to humans. so what?”
    -The theory of Unintelligent Design is much more likely than evolution because, while apes share a large amount of DNA with humans, pirates share a larger amount.
    .
    “What i mean to ask is Pirates were evils, they plundered and killed. if at all they are extinct today. it is cool. with time they will. everything will. But why pirates . Why?
    -Pirates are most definitely not the evil, plundering killers you make them out to be. Most of that thinking is brought on by anti-pirate propaganda, which has tainted the reputation of our ancestors.
    .
    “I believe in God, sir and i have no intentions in hurting you, but it is silly to believe in what is not so clear. I don’t really believe in scientific evidences, but yes i do have my own way of finidng things out. some sort of spirituality involved.
    Coincidently, Indian lores have many written records of universal birth that resembles to big bang theory. they have perfect calculations of earth’s rev. and rot. all this was written more than a thousands years which also includes physics, maths, geo, medicine and spirituality. But there is no mention of Your monster.”
    -Do these texts talk about electricity? How about atoms, or subatomic particles? Photons? Internal combustion engines? Alpha Centauri? Just because they did not mention it does not mean it doesn’t exist. I doubt you think they had a complete knowledge of the universe.
    .
    “You know and the world knows Hindus have the longest written history and records than any one else. Not even eygptians. And all of them are accurate till date, some are under research. American scientist have also discovered a man-made birdge dated thousands of yrs ago called ram-sethu (in india) which also has written records in ancient books, including the man who built it. if it is all this. How come they miss your monster?”
    -Why do they miss those things I mention? Why do they miss Jesus? Honestly, the FSM merely chose not to manifest himself at the time. Being knowledgeable of all things he created, he could easily hva outwitted his creations. TYou are also missing the possibility that they did record Him, but he merely changed the data as he is likely to do.
    .
    “Iam not preaching my religion Sir. please answer my question. i shall me thankful to you as my questions haunt me than the ghosts? Ghosts? don’t dont haunt me at all !”
    -You lost me with the ghosts…
    .
    “God bless you”
    And may the Noodly Creator bless you

  3. melchior_dronte says:

    dear ram!

    as far as i can see, this website is not serious.
    it’s part of a conflict between diehard materialists and reductionists from the scientific world and quite ignirant, narrow minded book lovers who do not read their book, aka christian fundamentalists.

    i have been lookin into indias spirituality a little bite.. and i think you indians should not be concerned about this petty conflict. compared to advaita vedanta and other sophisticated non-dualistic systems, this kind of “there is no god” vs. “yes there is, and he’s going to kick you” is just talk.. as it really is: the concepts of immanence and transcendence and all thet shit are known in christianity, but many fail to understand. also the fact that GOD IS JUST ANOTHER WORD.
    people get so fascinated with words that they think words have a reality of their own.

    i really enjoyed the description: obey to a jewish-christian zombie MUHAHA…

  4. Thalassophobic Pie Rat says:

    Damn thos fundies. Ignirant is a good way of describing them ;)

  5. Reasonable Avatar says:

    Ram,
    This webpage is not intended to be about a real religion. It is ment to be a satire, a literary work that uses irony to make a comment that is entertaining to read, but which also pertains to the real world.
    .
    This webpage is about more than a joke religion, it is a commentary on a disturbing trend in the United States of America. People have been removing parts of the scientific curriculum that they consider controvertial (specifically the Theory of Evolution) and teaching their religion instead to students who might not otherwise practice it in the form of Intelligent Design Theory. The real point of this website was to use the same arguments that are used by the perpetrators against them. We insist that if they teach their religion as science then they have to teach ours as well, even if most of us do not believe it.
    .
    The point of the pirates is to snidely claim that our beliefs are more reasonable than those of scientists, just as they do. I assure you, we do not condone murder or theft.
    .
    We do, however, enjoy eating pasta.
    -Avatar of Reason

  6. Wench Cyka says:

    Ram,
    I think you missed the part on the website explaining why the Flying Spaghetti Monster felt the need to reveal himself in the first place. Here in America, a certain group of fanatical religious zealouts are always trying to bastardize their own religion and trot it under the government’s nose as “science,” so they can force-feed it to other people’s children and convert them against their will. It is reminiscent of movies such as A Clockwork Orange, where a sociopath is forced to watch certain scenes to music in order to change his behavior patterns, or even such science fiction classics as The Pod People, where aliens take over the boodies of humans and use them to do their evil will.
    The purpose of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in coming out at this time is to show these ignorant fools the error of their mock flesh-eating, barberic ritualistic ways and give them a better alternative if they must go mucking about with our science education.

  7. Wench Cyka says:

    errr, that was supposed to say bodies

  8. ۞ says:

    Brilliant questions.

    How come they miss your monster?

    The FSM is in complete control of when and how he reveals himself.
    You would have to ask him why he reveals himself to the people he does.
    He has some vast plan and perhaps the Hindu peoples don’t need telling anything…

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