Greetings and Yarr, Mr. Henderson.
I have realized I have been too confused to see the light and have recently decided to reform from my heathen ways as an atheist. I found light in the holy FSM while making a bowl of lime & shrimp ramen at approximately 1:36 AM. I recalled a thread on a forum speaking of FSM and His Noodly Appendage, and it all seemed to make sense.
I have now become a child of FSM and graciously accept His Noodly Appendage and all His glory into my life. However, I have a few questions I couldn’t find in your marvelous, eye-opening site.
1) Is an eye patch or hat required every day or just every friday? It will be hard to explain to my English teacher why I am wearing a divine head-piece every morning.
2) Are we required to wear such clothing in all posed photography? If so I will need a signed letter from the prophet speaking of His holiness and need of such headgear for my school.
3) Do I have your permission to pass out FSM pendants, rings and brochures around my school to spread the good word? I recently discovered that a fairly accurate model of His Noodlyness can be made out of 22 gauge wire and 4 beads (2 copper, 2 silver), and it gives me something to keep with me whenever I have moments of doubt or weakness.
Thank you, and may His Noodly Appendages be with you.