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Greetings and Yarr

Published October 14th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Greetings and Yarr, Mr. Henderson.

I have realized I have been too confused to see the light and have recently decided to reform from my heathen ways as an atheist. I found light in the holy FSM while making a bowl of lime & shrimp ramen at approximately 1:36 AM. I recalled a thread on a forum speaking of FSM and His Noodly Appendage, and it all seemed to make sense.

I have now become a child of FSM and graciously accept His Noodly Appendage and all His glory into my life. However, I have a few questions I couldn’t find in your marvelous, eye-opening site.
1) Is an eye patch or hat required every day or just every friday? It will be hard to explain to my English teacher why I am wearing a divine head-piece every morning.

2) Are we required to wear such clothing in all posed photography? If so I will need a signed letter from the prophet speaking of His holiness and need of such headgear for my school.

3) Do I have your permission to pass out FSM pendants, rings and brochures around my school to spread the good word? I recently discovered that a fairly accurate model of His Noodlyness can be made out of 22 gauge wire and 4 beads (2 copper, 2 silver), and it gives me something to keep with me whenever I have moments of doubt or weakness.

Thank you, and may His Noodly Appendages be with you.

FSM bless,
Myranda (Yarrr)



24 Responses to “Greetings and Yarr”

  1. Red Dutchpasta Wench says:

    Woohoo, just converted another collegue! Aaaahhhh, that feels soooooo good, to show others the way to this wonderful faith! *sniff*

  2. Wench.Nikkiee says:

    Way to go Red :)
    His Noodlyness will have a special seat reserved just for you.
    RAmen

  3. ۞ says:

    I think the important thing to remember is that we don’t go for rules so much as guidelines.
    So piratical garb is good and will help global warming but don’t feel compelled.

  4. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    The whole “Seperation of church and state” thing basically meant the government couldn’t tell you who/what to worship. They didn’t quite mean it like that.

    But hey, I’m glad there isn’t much religion in my school. I personally think if there was, it would make it a big distraction and people would get pissy and riot. People can have bible studies, but that’s it. I’m fairly sure if I tried to start a FSM gospel study, it would get turned down in a heartbeat. It seems like people think Christianity is the only relgion that matters.

  5. Momi Pink Shoes says:

    @Christ4all – There should be a separation of church and state. You should not wear religious clothing to school. I am in favor of school uniforms.

    Ramen! I wish we did have school uniforms sometimes for the sheer fact I wouldn’t have to stand in front of my closet for 10 minutes trying to figure out what to wear.

  6. Teh Spag-worshipper says:

    But you /would/ have to spend two hours rooting through cupboards looking for your non-jean, non-cotton, non-combat black trousers. You know, those ones that have to be linen because synthetic fabrics give you a rash?
    Swapsies?
    .
    I wanna try wearing a pirate hat to school now! Maybe just on Fridays…

  7. How to Get Six Pack Fast says:

    This is quite a up-to-date info. I’ll share it on Digg.

  8. Ham Nox says:

    @Christ4all

    Separation of Church and State CAN go too far, you know. The point is supposed to be that the government does not play favorites in religious matters, which also includes a bit of making sure that organized religion can’t get a government elected that WILL play favorites. That has absolutely nothing to do with students not wearing religious paraphernalia to school, unless a state-funded school is attempting to stop one religious expression over another without due cause.

    If there is a school uniform, are you really going to take an unoffending Hajib from the Muslim girl who believes with all her heart that she’s going to hell if she doesn’t remain modest? I don’t think so. It’s going to cause a lot more damage to her to have her take it off than it’s going to hurt anyone if she’s just allowed to keep it. Sure, it’s technically against dress code, and her adamant belief seems like an absolutely ridiculous notion to me, but separation of church and state ensures that I don’t get to stomp on her concealments and make her think she’s damned just because I have a low opinion of her religion.***

    As much as I would love to wear my hat to school, I will not ask for the privilege because a) I cannot argue against the fact that it really is a distraction to other students and therefore should not be allowed in school and b) because the religion of Pastafarianism is too symbolic and metaphorical to claim that the hat is a religious necessity, especially considering that one of its most basic tenants is the rejection of any sort of dogmatic expectations. I know that the FSM is pretty lax in rules for his followers, and as a Pirate I know that what rules there are are more like guidelines anyways.

    He is not going to smite me if I don’t wear a hat and eye-patch every Friday. I have a slightly piratic outfit specifically for Fridays because I WANT to wear it as a celebration of life and free-thought.

    *** Of course, this is precisely why I like the Pastafarian religion. It really brings light to how religious belief gets a free pass in everything and is simultaneously protected from any sort of scrutiny. Pastafarianism chooses the most outrageous, fun and entertaining ‘beliefs’ to eventually have sanctioned by this same clause. The trouble with atheism is that atheists have never been able to monopolize on these benefits as we have.
    You know what they say… “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!”

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